Control
by abstract0118
Summary: After the charges against the Avengers are dropped and accords are scrapped, the Avengers return to the tower with the addition of Bucky. Will he get better with help from Wanda or will his dark side take over? What will happen when they realise how much they care? All characters are owned by MARVEL. Request from DarylDixon'sLover. OVER 17,000 VIEWS!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Bucky and Wanda fanfiction, so please support it. This is going to be from Wanda's POV for the first chapter, but it might change to Bucky at some point. SLOW BUILDING ROMANCE!**

 **Wanda POV**

As soon as I first saw him, I knew that he was troubled. It took me only a few days to realise just how troubled he really was. Steve and Sam came into the airport in a small yellow car. I immediately noticed the presence of someone else in the vehicle, his energy not known to me. My powers couldn't help but reach out from my body and touch the edges of the man's mind, just enough so that he wouldn't know. But I felt nothing. It was as if the only thing his mind had was buried in the very centre. I wasn't going to intrude on that.

He stepped out of the car, staying on the side away from the rest of us as we introduced Scott to Steve. Sam was already acquainted with Scott, an interaction that Clint often teased Sam about whenever he was at the tower. I always missed him when he was away with his family, but I knew how much he loved them all. She came to visit us at the tower once or twice, having tea with us all. We all felt like a family then.

I immediately knew it was Bucky Barnes, Steve's childhood friend and a man known as the Winter Soldier. I had read about him in the papers and Clint told me the truth about what had been going on, having been informed by Steve. Barnes looked like he was protecting himself from the rest of us. He seemed to mainly have his eyes on Steve, but I noticed them flick around to whoever moved. The first thing I noticed was not his metal arm oddly enough. You'd think it would distract anyone who looked at him immediately, but his eyes seemed to pull me in immediately. Dark and swarming with something that I couldn't quite see. He had a past, probably darker than Steve's, but I doubted that it was darker than mine. My family were killed, I was experimented on and I had lost my brother.

I quickly shoved the thought of my brother to the back of my mind, knowing that I couldn't get emotion before we went into battle. It would distract me and my powers were 'unpredictable' according to everyone else it seemed. I looked at him more, noticing the small amount of stubble forming on his face, probably from the lack of a constant home. He was wearing a dark, red shirt that covered up the sleeve of his arm, not showing off the metal appendage he had. I felt a little sorry for him.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and his eyes immediately snapped to me, alert of every single movement in front of him and probably behind him too. It made me nervous to be under his intense gaze, so I blinked to look at Steve, hoping that he would soon move his eyes off of me. I saw his head turn to look around the building, seeing if there were any threats. I doubted that he was protecting us, only looking out for Steve.

During the battle, I only caught sight of him once when he was fighting T'Challa. I saw him throw his hand forward to choke the soldier and quickly used my powers to grab hold of his arm, pushing him forcefully away from Barnes. The soldier's eyes briefly connected with mine, no smile, no nodd, no wave of gratitude, just a look. A look that I couldn't decipher, but I guessed that he was saying that he was grateful. Maybe he was annoyed, pissed off that I believed he couldn't fight his own battles. Realising I was standing in the same spot still, I shook my mind back to myself and went on to fight another opponent.

They caught us. It was inevitable really. I couldn't taken them all down, they all realised it, but I didn't want to cause them the pain of flashbacks. I might've caused them to do something stupid or reckless and, in reality, I didn't want any of them to be killed.

The Raft reminded me of HYDRA, the cells, the handcuffs, the grey walls. Everything. As soon as we were brought down to our cells, a collar was placed around my neck. The guard who attached it told me not to speak or there would be consequences. I didn't realise how severe those consequences were. I was about to tell him where he could stick his consequences, but before I could finish the first word, an agonising shock went off in my collar, hearing the others shout out in protest in the background. It caused me so much pain that I ended up passing out. I learned not to talk after that.

I couldn't talk to the others, but at least I could hear them, the plastic between the cell bars allowing sound through them. They often told me that it would be okay when I hung me head, realising that if I cried I would set off the collar again, another thing that I picked up on the first day after waking up from my unconscious state. The lump in my throat was constant and caused me so much pain, because crying seemed like the only thing that could release it...but I couldn't.

I was sitting in my cell in the Raft. It had been a week since we had been captured when Rogers came to rescue us. "Steve?" I mouthed at him, unable to speak. I wasn't allowed to speak whilst wearing the shock collar. I learned that within the first few seconds of putting it on. The soldier in question was at my cell entrance, unlocking my cell door with a key he must've found.

"Wanda..." he said, taking in my appearance. I could see his eyes scan my face quickly, his expression saddening when he saw the bags under my eyes that I knew were noticeable. "People know about the bad treatment you've had and we're getting you out of here. You're free." As soon as Steve said those last two words, a sob escaped my lips, setting off the collar again. The pain ripped through me, my head screaming from the stabbing shots hitting me again and again.

"SOMEONE DEACTIVATE THIS GOD DAMN COLLAR!" I heard Steve shout as I was electrocuted again, the collar causing my whole body to shake in his arms. I fell unconscious.

I woke feeling like someone had driven a car across the back of my head, but I felt a sense of comfort coming from the room. I opened my eyes, my lids feeling heavy, and realised that I was in my room. I was home. As I sat up, I felt the tight knots in my neck spread down my back before I was still again. "You shouldn't be moving." a familiar voice sounded from the other side of the room. I decided not to move my head as I realised that I was safe if he was here and I didn't want any more pain.

My hand went up to the front of my neck, gently touching the marks that the shock collar had left on my skin. It was painful, but bearable. Nothing that wouldn't heal. "I can do what I want, Bird Boy." My voice sounded embarrassingly weak and I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling the need to drink some water. The playful jabs could come after I drank. I saw a glass on the desk and lifted my hand to coax it over to me, but I didn't have enough energy, feeling powerless and empty inside. Clint quickly stood up and ran to fetch the water, carefully bringing it over so that he didn't spill any.

"You shouldn't be using your powers yet. You're not strong enough." He brought the glass over to me and cautiously gave it to me when I extended my hand. I scowled at him slightly when I realised he was wondering whether I would have the energy to hold the glass. Just to disprove his point, I held it tightly, the cold feeling making me relax, and brought it up to my chapped lips, almost moaning at the sensation of water running down my throat for what felt like the first time in years.

I gulped down the water, not caring that I drank a whole pint in one sitting. Clint was greedier when it came to eating and drinking anyway, so I doubted that he minded. I finished the last drop and let the rim of the glass pull away from my lips, gasping in a large breath of air. As I exhaled, I gave the empty glass back to Clint and crossed my legs underneath me on the bed, feeling newly refreshed. "So what happened?" I asked, my voice sounding stronger, as I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"The video of you being tortured went public." he said, coming over to sit next to me on the bed. "Steve infiltrated the prison with some of the other government members after finding out that Ross and his team had been mistreating us in the prison. We were lifted of our crimes, which is a nice, and the accords have been scraped." I felt a wave of relief rush over me as I realised that it wasn't all for nothing. "Bucky has been stationed here too by the way." The mention of the Winter Soldier staying here made my ears perk up, the sound of him staying with us not making me entirely comfortable. What would happen if he were to turn HYDRA again and kill everyone?

"Don't look at me like that." Clint said, scowling playfully. "He's getting fixed up. His brain is being sorted out while he's here and because of that he's getting a floor to himself, only becoming neighbours with you and the other Avengers when his mind is fixed. So you don't have to worry, okay?" he asked and I nodded, understanding that Clint wouldn't say I was safe without meaning it.

"What about everyone else? What about Rhodey?" I asked, suddenly realising that he was shot down during the battle. I saw Clint's face stiffen at the mention of his name and his eyes darted down to the duvet sheets.

"He has paralysis from the waist down." he said, voice raw and deep with emotion. I had become friends with all the Avengers whilst I had been at the tower, forming bonds with all of them, including Rhodey. "He's getting help though. Tony says that he should be able to walk with the help of his machines by the end of the year." he said, sounding a little bright about the topic. Only a little though.

"Do you really think it was worth it? Rhodey got injured after all." I said and Clint shrugged, something that he did a lot. I realised that Laura must've made a lot of decisions in their life, Clint not being able to make a single one of his own at the tower...unless it concerned food.

"I have no idea. It got the accords abolished, but at a cost. I really can't tell." he said and then raised his eyebrows, his mind switching to something else. "Anyway, would you like me to bring you some food?"

My stomach grumbled at the world and I smiled at him sheepishly. He chuckled and added "I'll take that as a yes."

"I'll get it myself." I insisted, placing a hand on his arm as I unfolded my legs and went to stand. I managed to make it all the way to the kitchen door before I fell. Clint was following me, but didn't get there in time to catch me. However, someone else got there first. I felt a warm hand dart out around my stomach and a cold one go straight to my back. I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling very weak. I didn't tell Clint on the way, not wanting to bother him by asking to get food for me, but I was still feeling very tired and weak. My legs were like jelly and my muscles were more sore than they'd ever felt before, the electric shocks causing them to tense a lot.

"Whoa." the person who's arms were around me said and my tired eyes fluttered, realising that I had never heard the voice before. The person was male, definitely male, his voice gave it away. There was a certain delicate touch that men had when touching me, acting as if I were a delicate piece of glass that would break any second, but that isn't what it felt like. The hands were rough and firmly pressed against my stomach and back, stopping my body from falling to the floor. I let my body completely fall into his hand, knowing that the man was strong enough to hold my weight. I felt completely hopeless and somewhat embarrassed that I couldn't hold my own body weight up.

I was carried over to somewhere, my hand reaching out to touch the one supporting my stomach. I felt the arm tense up and immediately took my hand away, not wanting to aggravate the person that I knew as the Winter Soldier. One hand cold and one hand warm - not hard to guess who was carrying me. I felt a pair of two warm hands come to my left hand side and guide me over to a chair that I could see. Once I was stationed at the seat, the two people looked at me, a worried expression on Clint's face and a straight one on Barnes'. I questioned in my mind whether Barnes even had any emotion left in him after HYDRA experimented on him. That's what Clint said had happened. He was born when Steve was, grew up with him and then HYDRA experimented on him. I didn't know the details very well, but I knew that he had killed people for HYDRA. So had I.

"Are you okay?" Clint asked, gingerly touching the side of my face as my heart went back to it's normal rate after nearly collapsing.

"Fine." I managed to say and looked around the room, scanning it for food. My stomach grumbled again and I groaned, desperately needing something to eat. "I'm going to die if I don't eat, Clint. I am not joking." I said, quite angrily. I could feel my powers begin to spark inside me again, but made sure that they didn't overpower me.

Clint nodded and looked around the room, searching through a cupboard as he tried to find something. There was a bowl of fruit on the table that looked so tempting to eat, but I knew that I would feel sick if I ate something like an apple of a banana. I needed something like pasta. I didn't tell Clint, knowing that he would already be searching for something like that. My eyes went from the fruit bowl and flicked up to Bucky. He was staring. Really obviously staring. He titled his head, almost analysing me, trying to find out who I was and what threat I posed. I looked at his arm, noticing that it had changed from the last time I saw him. It no longer had the red star on it and the design of the plates had changed, but it was similar to the one he had before.

"Bucky?" Clint called, head deep in the cupboard he was searching through. I saw a brief emotion flicker past his eyes, but didn't have enough energy to catch what it was. When people had strong emotions, I could sometimes feel it. I felt a shiver pass through me at the brief interaction with his emotions, but didn't have enough energy to attach onto it and identify it. I saw him twitch at the nickname Clint gave him, but he relaxed after and dragged his eyes to look at Clint, probably not wanting me to see his weaknesses. "Do you mind getting a pan of water heated up? I need to make the girl some pasta and I don't want it to take longer than it should."

Bucky continued to look at Clint, considering the order in his head, before he flicked his eyes over to me again. How could I understand his emotions but not understand him? I felt what he felt...but he didn't make any sense. "Sure." his deep voice replied and I tried not to flinch at the low tone. I felt like he was about to flip out and suddenly attack me, his HYDRA senses treating me as a threat, but he didn't. He stayed calm the entire time, even though his body was tense. He grabbed a pan from a cupboard, filled it up with water and placed it on the stove, turning the flame on.

"Think I'm not capable?" I questioned to Clint, phrasing it like a joke, but Bucky didn't seem to take it that way.

"You almost collapsed." he said with a serious tone, his eyes looking deadly as they gazed into mine. My face fell slightly and he seemed to notice, something that I didn't expect. It was the first sign of emotion that I'd seen him show and I was intrigued by it. His face was blanked, but soon he frowned and shook his head a little, looking regretful by talking to me so harshly. "Sorry." he apologised and dipped his head to look at the floor. His scruffy hair fell over the sides of his face and I wanted to grab a hairband to tie it up with, something that would show off his face more. He seemed closed off from everyone, not acting quite in sync with everyone else. _Perhaps this is what Roger's was like when he first arrived in the 21st century? A man out of time..._

"You have no idea how to talk to women, do you?" Clint said, scoffing as he climbed out of the cupboards, a bag of pasta in his hand. I was so hungry that I was tempted to eat it raw.

"You should be asking Rogers that question." Barnes replied, smirking slightly, most likely a memory of their childhood replaying in his head. A smile. I could live with that. I hadn't seen him laugh yet, but then again, I had only been in his presence for a mere five minutes, excluding the time of the battle when we didn't even look at each other apart from once.

"Not that he's hooked up with Carter now." Bucky had a bewildered look on his face, the name ringing a bell in his head, but the bell was knocking against the sides of his brain, confusing him.

"Sharon, right?" I asked, hoping to bring some clarification to Bucky. I knew that she was the niece of Peggy Carter, someone who was friends with him back in the war zone. I didn't want him to be muddled. I saw Bucky's jaw tighten at the mention of Sharon's name. What was going on with this man?

"Yeah, she's nice. I trained her actually, so I know her pretty well. They are good match." I looked intently at Bucky and studied him, not that he knew. I rested my elbow on the surface of the island table and placed my chin in my palm, feeling the weight of my heavy head against it. I could now feel the energy coming off of him and recognised it. Protectiveness. The same protectiveness that Pietro had for me. In Bucky's eyes, Sharon was a threat. Well...in Bucky's eyes, everyone must've been a threat. His fists were clenched and his jaw was tight, a feeling of anger and sadness radiating off of him. In fact, a range of emotions were pulsing off of him, none of them positive. His eyes caught with mine, giving nothing away of what he was feeling. He hardly moved, only to go from one location to another, but when he was stationary, he was practically a statue, his eyes being the only thing that were moving around the room.

In a split second, Bucky blinked and walked out of the room at a steady pace, not showing that he was feeling all of those emotions that were heavily weighing on his taut, muscly shoulders. Nobody knew about how he was feeling apart from me...that was the curse of getting powers. I could tell what everyone in the whole world was feeling. I felt so invasive, but I couldn't help it, people's feelings so powerful that they washed over me. Bucky obviously felt very guarded over Steve, his relationship with the man being the only one he had to remind him of his whole childhood. It was too much sometimes. Some days my guard would be down and I could hear what everyone was thinking.

One time, I walked into the kitchen and they were all in there, bustling around, the Avengers team simply trying to organise breakfast. Their thoughts were swimming through my brain and even when I put my hands over my ears, I couldn't get them out. I ran out of the room, out of the building and towards the woods, the others close on my trail, but sensibly keeping their distance. I waited until I was deep in the woods to let myself go and scream, the red energy freeing from my fingertips as the pain pushed against my head, begging to get out. That's how I dealed with it a couple of months ago, but another one hasn't happened since then. That was the only time. I knocked all of the Avengers off of their feet and destroyed quite a few forest trees, but they weren't angry about it. They were concerned, but in a caring way. My powers were out of control and I hated hearing people's thoughts sometimes. Obviously, I could control it usually, but that one time in the kitchen where everyone's thoughts were invading my head...I never wanted to do that again.

"He does that." Clint replied simply, casually looking at the doorway that Bucky exited, and poured the pasta into the boiling pan of water, much to my delight. Even though I was excited about eating, I couldn't help but think back to Bucky. He knew nothing about me, yet I already found out about his strong defensive nature over Steve. That was the problem with the power - you felt close, yet so far away from people. I hated it. I hated what HYDRA did to me. How was I supposed to gain his trust? It worried me, but before I knew it, a large bowl of pasta was placed in front of me and the thoughts were eradicated from my mind, the feeling of warm food inside me making me smile and forget my worries. And forget everyone else's worries too.

 **So I hope you liked the first chapter. This is one of many to come. I just knocked this one up tonight as a fan requested I write one. Please review, follow and favourite. Didn't double check this, so if there are any errors, please point them out. Thank you muchly :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my second dose of Wanda and Bucky. I am so sorry about not updating for months. I haven't been coping very well with school work, but hopefully these should be out once every one or two weeks. :)**

 **THE MORE REVIEWS MEANS I UPDATE QUICKER (hint, hint) ;)**

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"Wanda?" Steve called from my door. I felt his presence a few moments ago when he was walking down the corridor.

"Yes, Steve?" I asked, turning to look at him standing in the doorway. I was happily back in my room, surrounded by the ornament I had collected over the years. I wasn't overly good at guitar, but it reminded me of when me and Pietro used to busk in Sokovia to pay for some decent food, the only problem being that everyone was just as broke as us.

I could feel Steve's anxiety radiating off of him and I frowned at his unsettled nature. "I err...I need to ask you something." He twiddled his thumbs together and looked down at the floor.

"What is it?" I asked, standing up to meet up as my worry increased. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a tense pulse coming from him. What did he want? He shut the door and leant against the wall, hands in his pockets and head aimed at the floor.

"I was wondering...if you would umm...help Bucky?" He asked, tentatively, his head staying down as his eyes met mine, looking like a child who was expecting to be told off. I knew immediately what he meant by the word 'help'. If he wanted someone to talk Bucky through his issues, he would've gone to Sam. He need Scarlet Witch to look into his mind.

"When do you want me to start?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise, pushing himself lightly off of the wall and looking at me confused at my quick agreement.

"Just like that?" He asked. I could tell he was surprised from his expression, but the relief I could feel was skin deep, only recognisable by someone like me. When I don't use my powers to look into anyone's mind for a while, I pick up people's emotions automatically. Helping Barnes recover would actually help me in a way as I wouldn't feel what everyone else felt. Exercising helped sometimes, but it wasn't the best way to get rid of the automatic mind reading.

"Why? Should I be more resistant?"

Steve grimaced in a way that made me think he expected me to decline the offer. "I think Bucky is more tortured than we realise." he replied, voice slightly hoarse, emotion effecting his speech.

"It's dangerous." I said, stating it rather than questioning it. He nodded and sighed, his grimace falling ever so slightly. I felt sorry for Steve, because his best friend wasn't his best friend anymore. Hell, his whole life wasn't the same as it used to be. I occasionally peered into all their minds to see what they were thinking, the need to overwhelming. If I didn't allow myself to, then I felt like I would explode from the aching feeling.

I had seen Steve recently take a shining to Agent Sharon Carter, a woman who I had seen more frequently around the tower after the 'Civil War', as the papers called it, finished. Every time she walked into a room, I could feel the beating of his heart increase. He felt something deeply for her, but I don't think she saw just how deep he felt.

"If it helps Barnes..." I began, solidifying my option in my head. "Then I'll do it." I wanted Steve to feel as happy as he could and getting Bucky back would be one of the only ways to do that. I would do it only for helping Steve and to ease the pain my powers gave.

"Thank you." He said, his voice going weaker at the end, and walked out, leaving me to go over my thoughts. This was a lot of pressure and responsibility. What if Barnes was too far gone and I couldn't fix him? I didn't want to disappoint Steve and I was worried I would. What if the soldier had gone through too many battles, so many that he could never return?

I sighed and ran my hand carelessly through my untamed hair. I have to try...I thought to myself and slumped in my chair, thinking about how to go about fixing the soldier.

 **Bucky POV**

I sat in the chair in the bedroom I had been given, scrolling through the internet at things I missed. The bright screen was turned down to a lower level of brightness, something that Steve had taught me after a came here. Music was one of the biggest things that I found odd. I hadn't listened to music when I was at HYDRA. What was the point of it? I had researched some of the music, but I couldn't listen to it, ending up listening to music from the 40s.

When I arrived, Steve gave me a turntable that he had taken from his apartment to make me feel more at home in the tower. It had helped. I still wasn't comfortable, but didn't expect to be. Steve acted like we were back in the forties together, the good old times, but that wasn't what we were anymore. I could hardly remember anything from the time we spent together all those decades ago, faint memories popping up here and there but nothing clear. Well...almost nothing. One memory is crystal.

I was clinging tightly onto the side of the train, Steve reaching his hand out to me. I fall, so fast and for so long. Reaching the snow covered floor felt like eternity then. Now it feels like seconds compared to the time I spent with HYDRA. The problem with Steve was that he cared too much and sometimes I felt like I couldn't stand it, like he was suffocating me. I didn't really talk with the others, not unless they asked me a question.

"She agreed." I tensed for a moment, even though I knew it was Steve. I had heard his footsteps walking down the corridor and recognised them as his. After spending such a long time without him, I found it strange to have him suddenly by my side. But I was grateful. Even after the war, HYDRA, everything, that punk was still with me.

"It's a stupid plan. I'll end up hurting her." I argued, angling my head to look at him and knowing that my face wasn't giving away how angry I was.

"You don't know that." He said, sounding frustrated. He took a breathe and rolled his shoulder, a tick that I found he did to calm himself down. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll be there for the first few trials." He offered.

I was scared. Not that I would admit it. As the Winter Soldier, I never got scared, the brain washing and mind controlling making me believe that I was the best at what I did. I looked down at my mis-matched hands and stared at them intently for about an hour. I could do that sometimes, completely zone out and get caught in my thoughts, or in this case a single thought - Wanda Maximoff.

The girl was fragile. I remember seeing her for the first time at the airport, her calculating eyes judging me for the piece of scum I was. I sat on my bed, thinking about how ridiculously opposite the two of us were. I could tell how pure she was from the first time I laid eyes on her and it made me feel uncomfortable how innocent she was. I didn't know much about her past, but knowing that she volunteered for HYDRA made me feel sick, not as sick as knowing the things that I had done though. I hated remembering every kill. I had to stop myself from punching the walls when Steve told me about her submission. Volunteering for an organisation like HYDRA? She deserved all the pain she got in my opinion. She was the reason why I was scared. As much as I hated her for teaming up with HYDRA volunteering, I never wanted to kill someone again with my right mind. And I was worried I would do exactly out.

"I don't need you there, it's fine. When do we start?" I didn't want Steve there in case I revealed something that was to do with the Winter Soldier. He didn't need to know the extent of blood on my hands.

"Later tonight, I thought 7pm. Dinners at 6 as usual by the way." he slipped in, hinting for the ten billionth time that I could join him and the team for a meal.

"I'll be out at seven." I said, not wanting to talk about missing dinner with the group and knowing that I didn't really have a choice about letting Wanda look into my mind. Steve wanted me to be back to the old Bucky and he usually knew what was best for me, so I went with his decision, my mind not knowing what it wanted. I was a mess, but I wanted Steve to be happy and if pretending I was James Buchanan Barnes made Steve that way then I would deal with it.

Dinner with the Avengers was too much hassle. I had a kitchen in my apartment anyway, an apartment that was a little too big for my own liking. I turned my back to Steve and looked back at the YouTube tab I had up. Steve was basically the only one I would talk to about anything other than a mission, but sometimes he wasn't what I needed, especially when my thoughts were clouding my brain. Thankfully, he understood that and said goodbye before leaving me to my thoughts of how dangerous it could be to have the Witch look into my head.

I had barely spoken to her, not a word passed between us even, but if she could turn me into the older version of me, then maybe it was worth a shot. Anything would be better than the guilt I feel. _Perhaps she could erase it completely?_ That would be the only brain-washing that I would accept. To forget about the things I had done in the past 75 years. To remember what it was like to be a free man and live in the present like nothing bad had happened. I could pretend that the scars on my legs were from adventuring in the woods with Steve and the one's on my stomach were from my occasional clumsiness. I could start life again and pretend that the Winter Soldier had never existed, delete all the files online and get Wanda to destroy the memory of him from everyone's minds...but miracles don't exist.

 **6:55pm**

I closed my diary, that contained fewer entries than it probably should, and got out of my chair, closing it neatly back in it's place. Opening the side drawer, I looked over the small amount that I owned. My diary, a few pens, a couple of photo graphs from the old days and an army knife that Steve had gotten me for my sixteenth birthday. I looked over at my wardrobe, knowing that there were only a basic sets of casual clothes and work out gear. Moving my eyes to my bedside table, I thought about what was inside those drawers - my old army tags, a torch and a stun gun. They didn't allow me to have a real gun yet.

I was meeting Steve at his room and he would take me to where Wanda was. I wasn't nervous, but I was stressed about meeting the red head again. She didn't seem like the others, especially not Natasha who was the only other female Avenger. She was practically the opposite to the Black Widow.

As I walked down the corridor, my thoughts continued. She was a frail woman, a child really, but there was a strength in her that I could see before we started the fight. After she threw the Black Panther away from me in the battle, I immediately knew where her strength lay. Moving things with her mind and invading them were her specialities. I remembered reading the news, seeing that her powers killed numerous people in Lagos. She didn't have full control of her abilities in the same way that I didn't have any control of my mind. That didn't make us have anything in common though.

When I arrived at Steve's door, he was already walking out, dressed in a black gym shirt and grey sweatpants. "Hey Buck." he greeted, shutting his door. I still wasn't used to the nickname that he had always given me. That was the name that everyone called me from before HYDRA took me and I wasn't that person anymore. I didn't know who I was, so I couldn't give people another name to call me.

"Hey." I replied as he headed down the corridor. I followed him, guessing that he was directing me to where Wanda was.

"Are you sure you don't want me here for this?" Steve asked as we arrived outside one of the other bedrooms. I shook my head and gave a small smile. I had mixed memories of Steve, which was why I found it difficult to trust him. I had read the history books, seen how close we were in the fourties, but I had few memories of that. Other memories of him were warped and...not good. I always see the longing way he looks at me and I try to stop myself from shouting at him to stop, but, at that point, a skinnier version of him comes into my mind and gives me the will to stop somehow. I don't know what it all means. It's so confusing. I wish it would just stop. Hopefully the Maximoff girl might help me. However, she might make things worse.

"I'll be fine." I replied and he nodded, lifting his hand up to knock on the door. As he knocked, I noticed the red swirling patterns on the bedroom door that were absent on the other plain doors. There were red swirls with dots placed randomly in between the lines. There was a name written on the wall next to the door that read 'Wanda Maximoff', but, on the door itself, there was another name, one that I had heard in the news very long ago.

'Pietro' was written in very small curled writing, also red, just above the door handle. Small hearts were decorated around the name and I stared at her brother's name, confused as to whether people did this for all deaths that had come in the family. I hadn't seen anything like it before.

My mind was immediately taken away from the art when the door opened, Wanda being the one who opened it. Her usually free flowing red hair was now taken up into a ponytail, small wispy strands elegantly shadowing the sides of her face. She was wearing some black makeup on her eyes, the same style of flicks used on the door at the end of the black lines. Her lips were bare as was the rest of her face, which made her look more natural. I had seen Romanoff pass through the tower with a full face of make-up and she looked extremely fake, an image I wasn't fond of for any woman.

I could hear her heart beat before she opened the door - steady and even. As soon as she opened it and looked at me, her heart beat picked up, ever so slightly. She smiled gently when she saw us though. "Hey, it's good to see you. Come in, please." I knew she was just being polite. In what way would it be 'good' to see an ex-assassin.

"I won't be staying actually." Steve said as Wanda stepped beside and let me into the room.

"Oh." she replied, not particularly sounding disappointed or happy. My eyes scanned the room as they talked, taking in what she had. There was a guitar resting in the corner on a stand and photos of her and some other man, that I guessed was Pietro, posted around her walls and by her desk. Her items were neatly placed around her desk. Pens. Notebook. Lamp. Photos. The pictures were lazily thrown over the entire desk as well as a book open.

Looking around, her room wasn't messy, but there were a few clothes strewn over the chairs and floor, as well as a jumper on her bed. The duvets were slightly creased from where she must've been sitting on them. There was a television near the far wall and a wooden seat that hung off the ground, a line coming down from the ceiling that held it up. How could it support anyone without breaking? Well, it could probably support Wanda's thin frame, the girl probably weighing as light as a feather.

"James?" I had completely zoned out, not realising that the door was shut and it was just me and Wanda in the room. Alone. I could kill her, strangle her to death, but, in reality, her powers would probably stop me before I got the chance to. She was looking at me, her eyebrows frowning in concern at my stillness. I let the name pass, just thankful that she didn't use the term Bucky. So many people did and I hadn't heard that term in a while. I couldn't understand whether it was a comfort or not.

"Where should I sit?" I asked, getting down to business immediately. I didn't want to hang around in this woman's room. It had a strange scent to it. She sat down on the bed, her heart racing more, and gestured for me to sit down next to her, something that made me stop. I hadn't been on anyone's bed, not even my own. I slept on the floor and left the bed as it was, only using the duvets to keep myself heated. I still got nightmares every night, but if it was cold then it made them much worse.

"I've looked into people's minds like this before, so...don't be scared." she said, thinking that I was hesitant about her looking into my mind, not me sitting down on her bed. It was stupid to think anyway.

"I don't get scared." I replied immediately, and took a seat on the soft bed she was nervously poised upon. I looked down at her hands that were tightly knotted together to stop her shaking, but I could still see the tremor in her hands and feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest. "You are though." Her eyes shot up to mine, a glimpse of panic resting in them. It was there the first day I met her, but I didn't hold it against her. I was a monster. "I don't blame you."

She didn't furrow her eyebrows in confusion or shake her head to deny it. She just nodded and held out her hand to me. I stared at it, wondering what the hell she was doing. It was uncomfortable to think about how it might feel to hold someone's hand. I hadn't done it since 1945 and I would never do it again. I didn't deserve that life after being the Winter Soldier, not that anyone would have me.

"It comforts people when I use my powers on them." She explained, stretching her hands out a bit further to me.

"I'll be fine." I told her and didn't move from my spot, watching her intently as she moved her hands away, slightly dejected.

"Okay. Just relax." I nodded and tried to let my stress ease away, but it never seemed to. My body was always tense. I never had a moment to breathe, my body always being on edge, waiting for something bad to happen.

I saw it in her eyes first, the brown orbs slowly being washed over by a red must that soon swam in between her fingers. She lightly threw a ball of red energy at me and I shut my eyes, a twinge radiating through my heart as I felt the sensation wash over me, as if i was swallowing water after being parched for days. I knew that feeling all too well.

At the start, all I could see was red, the shade being drawn across my eyes, blinding me. A dull ache spread across my forehead, but I ignored it like many pains I got. After a second, the images came to be, the mist clearing to the sides.

The memories started off harmless, to Wanda, but to me, they seemed much more hard-hitting than she realised. It was one of the only memories I had of Steve from before the serum. We were sitting on the cold, concrete steps that lead up to my apartment, talking about a girl that I'd met the other day.

 _"You gonna ask her out then?" Steve asked after a few minutes of silence. We had spent the day sitting there, only moving when someone needed to walk up or down the stairs to get to their houses. I chuckled lightly and shrugged._

 _"Dot? Why wouldn't I?"_ _I smirked and he raised an eyebrow._

 _"She might say no." Steve argued, causing me to scoff_ _at him._

 _"Like she would." I replied, laughs coming from both of us._ _H_ _e shook his head at me in disbelief and leaned his head back against the metal railings that lead up the stairs. "Besides, she might have a girl I can introduce you too." I looked at the skinny man beside me who was staring out at the streets beside us._

I was ridiculously arrogant back then and I wondered how I could ever be that way. It was impossible to think I would be now that way now. The things I remembered were random and didn't seem to have any correlation at all, Steve being in the majority of the few I had of that time. Suddenly, I was overtaken by another memory, a much...much darker one.

 _"Homecoming" The man spoke in Russian as I sat in the contraption, the cold metal forcefully pressed against my head. I screamed as my body convulsed against the restraints._

 _"One..." I screamed louder, hoping that someone, something, anyone, anything, would get me out of the hell that HYDRA had put me in. It was the third time I had been put into the machine and I was close to giving up, my mind pushing against the force of their brain washing. I knew my mind was close to collapsing as he approached saying that last word that would take over my mind. My tears were freely dropping out of my eyes and down my cheeks, the agonising pain tearing through my body._

 _"Freight car."_

That was where the memory was meant to end. It was meant to finish there as it always did when I had nightmares. Usually I couldn't remember anything else, but the memory continued playing out.

 _"Soldier?" my commander asked and I looked up at him, sweat on my forehead and ragged breaths leaving my lips, creating puffs of smoke from the cold environment._

 _"Ready to comply." I responded, a response that came to my lips automatically._

 _An hour later, I was on the motorbike that they had assigned me, driving towards my destination in France._

 _Name: Georgina Reddingway_

 _Occupation: Journalist_

 _Mission: Eliminate and extract_

 _They didn't tell me why I had her as my subject, but I would never ask. She was my first mission and I would complete it easily. They said if there were any family members in the house, then I would need to eliminate them._

 _I parked the motorbike a few blocks away, where they had told me to, and began my journey towards her apartment. There were few people about, not that it would matter. If necessary, I would remove them from the situation. I avoided the cameras as I paced, the gun they had given me pressed comfortingly against the side of my hip, hidden by my coat._

 _I got to the back door of the apartment building and used my newly modified metal arm to easily force open the door. I quickly climbed up the dark stairs, looking for the room. Number 37. I got to the third floor on the staircase and silently opened the door. Moving down the hallway, I looked at the door number, my heart beat steady and even._

 _34...35...36..._

 _Number 37. With my enhanced hearing, I could clearly hear everything that was within a five metre radius as if it were right in front of me. Beyond that felt like how my hearing used to be, which originally scared me, but that was before the brain-washing. I didn't get scared anymore. No one seemed to be awake, so I entered._

 _I placed my metal hand on the door and tested it, the door being unlocked. I slowly opened it and entered the room, none of my movements making any noise to disturb anyone. I took the gun out of the side of my trousers and gripped it in my hand, the familiar cold feeling pressed against my fingers. There was a table in the centre, a doll sitting on top of it along with a single glass, four place mats and a top lying over one of the four chairs surrounding the table. I walked into the kitchen and looked round. Knife set. Cutlery. Plates. Glasses. I stored them in my mind as weapons that I could use if things got out of hand, which I'm sure they wouldn't. I was trained not to fail._

 _As I moved through the apartment, I saw five doors, two of them store cupboards that I checked and saw no signs of life. Opening the first, I saw my subject. She was in bed, snoring lightly, a glass of water on the table next to her. Alarm clock. Watch. Necklace. Phone. Lamp. Photo-frame. There was a person sleeping next to her. A man. Husband - David Reddingway._

 _I walked towards the woman, raising the gun in my right hand and immediately shooting her, the silencer stopping the building from knowing a shot had gone off. The husband woke up, but barely opened his eyes before I shot him also, straight to the heart his wife. I didn't spare a minute looking at them as I exited the room and went to the next door, looking for any other house holders._

I had been under Wanda's hold for ages, feeling like I was actually reliving the memories. The guilt from the murders settled in quicker than I could've imagined, the self hate rushing through me from the moment I raised the gun and shot the woman. She didn't stop and I didn't want her too. The unfinished memories in my mind were the worst. I knew that there would be horror running through her thoughts, which made me wonder whether it was possible to have a two way mind link when she used her powers. Those thoughts immediately left as the memory continued.

 _Opening the second door, I looked in and saw it was a bathroom. No humans. I shut the door and moved onto the final one, noticing a name written on the front. **Charlotte.** Charlotte Reddingway - Georgina and David Reddingway's daughter. One year of age._

 _I didn't hesitate strode over to the pram that she was sleeping in. I brought the gun to the child's head, letting the bullet fire, entering the baby's skull. I didn't flinch as the blood splattered across the pink blanket that covered her fragile body. I checked the apartment once more before walking towards the door, making sure to use my left arm. The metal had no finger prints, so it would be untraceable for the police investigation. I walked out the same was I came in and avoided the cameras as I took a different, but also undetectable, route back to the motorbike. Get in, get out. Like I was programmed to do._

 **Oooooooo, I hope you liked that. Please review so that I can update quicker! You motivate me lots to write! :) Follow to find out what happens when Bucky wakes from his state of being over-power by Wanda! I did proof-read this, but tell me if there are any mistakes please. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Response to reviews:**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - Yeah, they are...kinda :P They're working on it. Haha!**

 **2 lazy 2 login - 1. Nice nickname! :P 2. Thank you very much for your review. I'm really sorry about the long wait, I've been stacked up with work at the minute.**

 **Ryuukoshi - Yeah, sorry about not updating for a while. Hopefully you'll like this chapter. The next update should be sooner.**

 **Guest - Here's your next dose of Bucky and Wanda. Sorry for taking so long!**

 **LilleyBelle - Thank you so much :) It was great to hear from you. I promise that I will update more often.**

 **I AM SO SORRY!** **I know, it is dreadful that I haven't updated in so long. I had mock exams and had to finish a film for University. However, after the mock that I am completing today, I should be able to update weekly on one of the six stories I'm currently writing. Thank you for reading thougha dn please review! It takes me quite a while to type these and come up with the ideas for all six, so I would appreciate the support.**

I wish the memory had stayed unfinished, because I knew that Wanda could feel my guilt as she took the mist slowly away from my eyes, the small woman sitting on the sofa coming back into view. She was looking at me, a sign of pity on her face that really did make me want to punch her. I didn't want her pity. I didn't deserve it.

"James..." she whispered, a name that slightly calmed my agitated mind, but I was still thrown by the flashbacks. No one called me James, not even Steve unless he was angry with me, but even then he would state my full name. He had only done that before the Winter Soldier came along. He didn't get angry at me anymore, because he thought it would trigger something or make me close him off, which it probably would.

My fists were clenched and my breathing came out in stutters as my chest quickly jolted up and down. My throat felt dry and I wondered whether I had screamed when she invaded my mind. I stared into her sympathetic, brown eyes and felt the anger built up in my blood. "Stop feeling sorry for me." I ordered, my voice sounding rougher than I expected. I must've been screaming or at least shouting.

"How can I not?" she argued like it was obvious that she should feel that way. It wasn't her problem that I became the Winter Soldier, so she shouldn't feel the need to apologise, a need that I could tell by her face that she had.

"I deserved it." If I had been stronger, trained for longer, I could've survived on the train, but I failed and it resulted in me falling from the train, leaving Steve alone to battle HYDRA. I became part of the organisation that Steve was fighting, which was problematic itself.

"You deserved none of this." she said, sounding a little sterner than before, like she was gaining confidence. It was good that she was toughening up. She was too soft and I could see it from the first time I saw her. She was weak.

"You did." I stared at her as she knotted her eyebrows in confusion at me.

"I...don't understand." I didn't want to tell her, but my lips were moving before my brain could stop me. She didn't deserve the words I was giving her, but I was becoming more and more irritated.

"You deserved the pain you got. You signed up for it." I retorted, almost spitting the words out at her, the frustration evident in my voice. I was mad at her for signing up for a facility like HYDRA. She may have been a pretty dame, but she was stupid.

She looked at the ground, so that I couldn't quite see her face. "I didn't know what I was getting into." she whispered and if I had normal hearing, I wouldn't have heart her for sure.

"Right." I said, sarcastically, and stormed out of the room, not looking back when she called my name or began to run after me. She wasn't quick enough. I got to the elevator and stepped inside, pressing the button to take to my floor. I saw Wanda sprint after me as the doors shut and as soon as they slid closed, she started banging the elevator with her fists, the sound resonating in the elevator as I rode up to my floor. I didn't want her pity. I also didn't want to harm her, so I knew leaving her was the best option to keep her safe. Besides, I doubted she wanted me in there. She must've thought I was a monster.

 **Wanda POV**

I watched the elevator door close, Bucky's face emotionless as he watched me practically sprint towards the doors.

"Shit!" I cursed and threw my hands by my sides in frustration, cringing at how childish I must've looked. _Well, that went well_ I thought to myself and walked towards the nearest plush leather chair, throwing myself into it and sinking it. I looked at the sun that was slowly setting on the horizon for what seemed like hours, the darkness edging me into the edges of a deep, deep sleep, but before I could, the distinct sound of my phone jolted me awake, a small groan coming from my lips. I usually went to bed quite early, around ten o'clock, a habit I got into after we were saved from HYDRA, but then I would sometimes have nightmares and wake up extremely early, sometimes one or two in the morning. I found myself getting sleepy at eight, something that the others on the team seemed to find annoying.

I pulled the phone out of my pocket and winced when I saw the bright light of the phone screen, a Stark phone that Tony had given to me after I arrived. I pressed the green pick up symbol and put the phone against my ear.

"Hey Steve." I said, my voice sounding a little tired.

 _"Hey, did I disturb you? I know you go to bed early, but it's only eight."_ he replied, the line clean and crisp. It was odd how different life in the Avengers Tower was from the life I had in Sokovia, even the little things, like a better phone line, brought me back to it.

"No, no, it's fine. I wasn't asleep." I didn't want him to feel bad and, technically, I wasn't actually asleep. "What is it, Steve? Do you want to know about Bucky?"

 _"Yeah, if that's okay, but we can talk tomorrow if you want?"_

"Well you might as well come down here and explain it. I think it would be easier to." I could probably explain it just as easily over the phone, but I preferred talking to people face-to-face.

 _"Okay, i'll be down in a sec."_ he said and hung up the phone. I pulled away the phone about ten seconds later, when I couldn't stand the dull 'end call' tone that was channelling it's way through my ear and infecting my brain. I was so sleepy, but I forced myself awake, knowing that it would be better to talk about Bucky's condition fresh from the mind examination. I didn't like thinking of him as a subject, but I had to for Steve's sake. Hopefully, I would know him as a friend at some point, but, for the minute, he would have to stay as a subject to my powers.

Bucky was may more complicated than I realised. When I entered his mind, it was like no other. It was very disjointed, fragments of memories everywhere, some even black from where the memories were so lost. They would take time to get back, but-

My thoughts were interrupted as the elevator pinged, Steve standing in the middle with his hands situated behind his back. You could tell a lot from how some one looked in an elevator. Stark, for example, would slouch against the side of the elevator, not caring about what people thought of him, along with Clint and Sam. Hill would usually have something in her hand with her back as straight as a pencil, Nat would always have one hip cocked out to the side, sass emitting from her body whether she realised it or not, though she probably did, and Banner would be hunched in on himself, a feeling of anxiety radiating from him constantly.

"So how did it go?" he asked, taking evenly paced steps out of the elevator towards me.

"Well…" I said, hesitant to tell him the truth that it didn't go very well at all. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked over, sitting down tentatively next to me, his eyes looking suspiciously at me.

"What happened?" he asked and I sighed, letting my posture fall as I lay down on the bed. I stared up at the blank white ceiling as I tried to figure out what really did happen.

"Well, there were two memories, the first one being lighter than the second." I leant up on my elbows and raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you remember a girl called Dot?"

"Bucky tried to ask her out on a date back in the day." he said, letting a brief smile rise up. Unfortunately, I think we both knew that James wasn't going to be back to that version of himself for a long time.

"You were talking about it on the steps-"

"Leading up to my house, if I remember rightly?" I nodded and his smile grew wider, my heart clenching lightly at the sight. I was happy that Steve had those memories of James, but in another way, I wasn't. Maybe one day he would accept the new version of James, but for now, he would continue, in Steve's mind, to stay as the friend from 1945.

"That was it. You were talking about him not being able to date her." I said, causing a chuckle to form from his lips. I smiled sweetly at him, hoping that one day Steve and Barnes would be the best friends they were.

"What was the second memory?" he asked and my sweet smile slowly slid back to neutral, not wanting to witness Steve's reaction from the news I was going to bear. HI sat up as he titled his head to looked at me with the same suspicious expression he had earlier. "Wanda?"

"How much do you want to know?" I asked immediately, knowing he would get the signal that the subject was delicate.

"Give detail." he said, though his voice was strained and body tenser than before, his jaw clenching and unclenching, a habit I noticed he did when he was stressed. "But I might tell you to stop if it's too much."

I nodded and thought back to the memory, a small shiver running through my body as I remembered the pain I felt when I looked into his mind. It was so fragmented that I found it difficult to make sense of, it would need a lot of work, but the memories were like glass boxes. You could put your hand onto them and observe the scene, something that I did with the first two boxes I found floating around in the mass of James Barnes' mind.

"When I entered James' head, it was like I was in a dark grey never-ending space." I said, trying to explain it to him simply so he would understand. "Like smoke was surrounding my body and I couldn't really see further than a metre away. I could see these glass boxes ahead of me, every one contains their memories in the glass boxes. Some fade away over time, but can always be retrieved. Have you ever seen the Harry Potter movies?" I asked. "Do you remember the Order of the Pheonix with all of the crystal balls arranged on shelves?" I asked him and he slowly nodded at me.

"I think I know what you mean." he replied, squinting at the memory. I sent the image to his mind and he nodded in recollection. "Yes, I remember now."

"Well, that's what a normal person's brain looks like. Mine and yours have that structure, same as Romanoff, same as Barton, same as…" I thought about it. "Actually, probably not the same as Thor." That would be a fascinating brain to look into. "Anyway, that is how the average brain is structured, in rows. There is grey mist, but it is different, being lighter and smaller than the mist in Barnes' brain."

"I'm guessing there is a difference between the average brain and Bucky's?" Steve asked, grimacing as he awaited the answer he knew was going to come.

"Very different." I replied and Steve nodded, already having half-known the news. "James' brian is like nothing I have ever seen before. It's chaotic." I hated seeing Steve so entranced, yet so hurt as I explained how his friend had fallen apart. "The glass boxes are scattered around everywhere, floating all over the place and quite far apart. I didn't have much time to search, but each box was about a metre away from each other, which is odd when normal ones are stacked next to each other on shelves. The mist around the memories was much greyer and much larger too."

"So, his brain is darker and unorganised? Is that what you're saying?"

"Exactly. It is just a selection of memories, some of them being cracked from where they have been driving him crazy." I clarified and he nodded.

"What about the second memory though?" he asked and I sighed quietly to myself, hoping that he would forget about it and I would never have to say anything.

"His second memory...was much more fragile that the first, some of the glass edges being cracked from where it has been a torture for his mind to bear." I moved my hands around, hoping that it would make my explanation easier, but it didn't. I gulped and continued. "He was at the HYDRA base." I started, Steve's body going tense, if that were even possible. Taking a breath, I explained further into the revisited memory.

"They were brainwashing him, reading out some words to him that was changing his body, his mind. I could feel the words taking over his brain like a cover that was sealing up his sanity. I believe it to be the first time he was brainwashed completely." Steve nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor, and I took that as a sign to keep going.

"He answered that he was ready to comply when one of the guards talked to him and he set out on his mission. He was assigned to kill a journalist called Georgina Reddingway, but he wasn't told why. In that mindset, I could hear his mind telling him that he wasn't supposed to ask about why he was set out to kill people. He avoided the cameras, training that I could tell he picked up from HYDRA, and went to the woman's apartment. He….um…"

I stopped for a few seconds, looking up at Steve, who I could tell was putting a brave face on. "You can tell me." He was trying to reassure me, but I didn't feel very reassured. "It's okay. I need to know."

That's when I thought for a moment. Why am I telling Steve this? Surely the memories should just be between me and James? "Steve, do you really need to know these? The memories? Maybe, I should keep them between me and James?"

"I just want to know what happened, how the first session went. That's all." he said, his eyes too desperate for me to refuse. 'Our future sessions would all be private anyway, so telling Steve wasn't such a big deal' was the argument in my head. I knew it was wrong, but I felt like I owed Steve something after the multiple times he had saved me and this would at least be a start.

"Okay…" I replied, sitting up a little straighter as I explained. "Once he entered the house, he analysed the room and made his way into one of three doors." I said, keeping my voice steady and even, hoping I could get through it without breaking down, because I knew that if I did, it would take forever to tell him what happened. And I wanted to get through it as quickly as possible.

"The first one contained Georgina and her partner who was sleeping next to her. He shot them immediately, a silencer stopping the bullet from making any sound." I focused my eyes on the mattress, not wanting to meet Steve's undoubtedly tearful eyes. I could tell he was sad, but thankfully, because of James, I couldn't automatically read any further into his thoughts. The search into James' mind had given me so much relief. "After that, he went into the second room, which was a bathroom. When he checked that was clear, he went into the last bedroom, which had...had a little girl in it."

My throat was tight, like a snake had managed to wrap it's way around it and slowly clench around me. "Charlotte." I whispered, remembering seeing the name written on the door. I grit my teeth as I fought down tears that were glossing over my eyes. "He didn't hesitate."

I pursed my lips together and squeezed my eyes shut as I battled down the sobs that were threatening to come out of my mouth. Feeling Steve's arms reach over, I shuffled closer to him and let me pull my legs over his lap. Steve was like an older brother to me, not a replacement for Pietro, but an addition. Clint was my 'father' and my 'mother' was Natasha. She didn't always act like a mother sometimes, but she was there when I needed her.

Steve held me tightly as I continued to talk. "He believes that he deserved all the suffering, believing that he should've trained harder to survive on the train and not fall, meaning that he wouldn't be in HYDRA. I tried to tell him the opposite, but he wasn't listening." I sniffled slightly and buried myself further into Steve's chest, taking calming breaths. "He said that I deserved what I got."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, the first time I had heard his voice in a while. He sounded fragile, allowing me to see the super soldier in a light I hadn't expected from him before. Steve was a strong leader, and yes, he had upsetting thoughts sometimes, but he had never sounded so innocent.

"I think he gets the impression that I signed up for HYDRA, knowing all of the risks and what they had done." I closed my eyes and clenched Steve's shirt tighter, pressing my body closer to him.

"I can talk to him if you want." he suggested, but I shook my head.

"No, no. I'll tell him." I wanted to. He deserved to hear the whole story from the source rather than passed round people. "Do you think he'll be up now?" I asked, wondering whether I could talk to him before I would go to sleep, and Steve nodded.

"I've never actually seen him asleep. Sometimes I wonder whether he does or not. Is that something you can find out?" he asked, eagerly, making me pull away from him and glare at him slightly.

"Steve, I'm not meant to be telling you anything at all. You are lucky I've told you what I have already." I warned and he nodded, understanding that I couldn't be a spy for him.

"Sorry, sorry." he said, giving a sad smile, and I took my legs off of his, letting him stand up, me joining him also as I walked to the door with him. Before we reached there, I spoke up.

"You shouldn't be apologising, you know…" I said and he turned around, frowning. "You shouldn't apologise for wanting to help your friend. I know you care about him and I will try to help him as much as I can."

He smiled at me and I could lightly feel the twinges of gratitude from him, a feeling that made me feel extremely happy that I was helping James. "Thank you, Wanda."

"It's a pleasure, but I need you to know that fixing James could be harder than you think and it doesn't come without risks." I told him seriously and he raised an eyebrow.

"Risks?" he repeated and I nodded.

"There was an exercise I would do with Pietro where I would get him to think of the place that he felt happiest, in his case it was the bedroom we shared as children before it was bombed." I said, quickly saying the last bit, not wanting to get dragged back with the memories of the horrific day. "Once he got that place, I would enter his mind and a projection of him would appear in that room along with myself, allowing me to talk to him in his own conscientiousness."

"Right…" Steve said with a voice that made me question whether he was actually following what I was saying or not. I assumed that he was, but just found it peculiar, and continued.

"Now that memory acts as a safe place for me and the dreamer to stay in. At the entrance of this place, there would be a door or gate or whatever would section that area of memory from everything else. When the entrance opens, there is a barrier that goes from the safe place to the glass box memories. Does that make sense?"

Steve nodded, seeming more confident as I explained it further. "Yes, it does. However, I don't understand what the issue is. Why can't you go ahead and do that with Bucky?"

"When I said the boxes are like glass, I also meant that they are just as fragile. When you throw them around the room too hard or too many times then they'll break, destroying the memory. It's very difficult to restore and very dangerous." I warned him and he watched me, his eyes analysing me.

"You think that's possible, that he could try and break one."

"I think we can both tell he is not in a very good place." I replied and evenly met his gaze. "He could freak out, break his memories and lose them. I'm not saying he will, but it's a possibility. I can try and control him, but it is his mind, so he has a lot of power over me."

"Physically or mentally?"

"Both. You need to understand that he went through fear conditioning during HYDRA." He furrowed his eyebrows at the term 'fear conditioning' and I winced, realising that I would have to explain what it was. "During his time at HYDRA, they tortured him with shocks and beatings and slowly stripped him off his identity." I explained, watching Steve's jaw clench tighter and tighter from his teeth gritting against each other. Both men had gone through too much. Too much. "Lots of that um...lots of that suffering and pain was redirected to the memories he has of being with you, which is why he doesn't want to talk to you much. You are familiar to him, but..." It broke my heart to tell Steve what I was. "You're familiar as a threat in his mind."

I saw Steve's eyes shut and I took a step closer to him, placing my hand softly upon his tense shoulder. "If I work with him more, I may be able to ease that, but I doubt that it will ever go." I told him truthfully.

He looked up at me, eyes brimmed with tears, and desperately pulled me towards him, encasing me in a hug. His arms wrapped around my delicate frame and I put mine around his shoulders, rubbing his back soothingly in an attempt to calm him. "Fear conditioning." he said, mulling over the words that I had told him earlier.

"You said they tortured him, stripping down his identity until it didn't exist anymore. A lot of that suffering making his memories of me change..." he said, letting his arms slip slightly, telling me that he wanted to pull away from the hug. I let him, but I wanted to go back to hugging him again as soon as I saw his face. I could tell from his face that he was making a big effort to keep himself together. "We can't change them back, can we...?"

Steve was just as tortured by HYDRA as Bucky was. Every one of the Avengers had their problems and it was so upsetting to see. I wanted to help them all, but I would start with Bucky and Steve...the people that look the strongest are usually the one's that break the easiest. Of the girls, it was most likely Natasha. Of the boys, it was definitely Bucky. Steve was a close second.

I took Steve's hands in mine and brushed my thumbs over the back of his palms. He shut his eyes and dipped his head, his brows creasing in an attempt to stop the tears. It didn't. "I don't know if I can change them, but I can try. I think the reason why he's having so much trouble getting along with you like he used to is because he has mixed memories of you in his mind."

"You saw that? Can we fix what they've done and get rid of what HYDRA did?" he asked, desperately, his hands tightening in mine for a moment.

"Steve, I really don't know yet. I'll have to spend more time with him...a lot more time." I said, smiling softly at him to try and ease the torture that was going on in his head. The excitement that he had in his eyes dipped slightly, but he still managed to let a small smile slip.

"Take all the time you need." he said, nodding his head, and standing up. As I stood up, I noticed the tears from his eyes were no longer there, a brave face from him being put on. "Thank you." he said and I smiled at him in return, not really knowing what else I could saw to him. I felt like another apology might be too much for him.

After that, he left me to the silence of my room. My lonely room. I walked over and sat on my bed, crossing my legs and staring at the blank wall opposite me as I took the choker I was wearing away from my neck. I looked over at the photo of me and Pietro taken a month before the attack on Sokovia. No matter what I told Clint, everything that Ultron did, everything that the Hulk destroyed when he turned...it was my fault. I could've stopped both catastrophes easily, but I didn't, because I was too blinded my revenge on Stark. I could've saved Pietro, but I didn't. I could've saved Rhodey, but I didn't. I could've stopped myself from being this lonely, but I didn't.

I sat there blank-faced for a while, staring at the wall, because I had nothing better to do. I missed Pietro. I missed my family. I missed everyone and it was killing me.

 **Just to clarify, 'I could've saved Rhodey' is her referring to him being in a wheelchair. If Lagos didn't happen, then the war may not have happened either.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Firstly, thank you to the people who voted in the poll. Two stories are now being put on hold until I can sort the rest of them out, including this one. Obviously, this one came out first, having lots of support from it. I really appreciate that, so thank you.**

 **Secondly, reviews keep me alive so that you for doing so**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - thank you for your review. I think they will become friends if I'm honest, hopefully, they will. Bucky and Steve - you can't really have one without the other ;)**

 **Witch of evil - that is so great to here. I'm really happy you are enjoying it. Please review this chapter and say what was good, bad, etc, if you would, I would appreciate it muchly! :)**

 **SlytherinAvengerPrincess - Of course, I was going to keep this story, there was no doubt about it. Number one in the polls. Can I get a hell yeah!? :P Thank you for reviewing though, I appreciate it! :)**

 **Felt like you guys deserved an update so here we go :)**

 **Bucky POV**

It was 0655 when the phone rang in my room. I frowned because Rogers doesn't get back from his run until 0700 unless he's out on a mission. I put my pen down, putting a stop the random notes I was writing on pieces of paper and leant over to press the answer button. I had one of the new phones, being able to operate it after HYDRA instructed me on how to use it.

"Rogers, what do you want?" I asked, a little spite in my voice. I didn't like him checking on me every morning, but he thought it was necessary. I also didn't like it when my schedule was changed, so him ringing fifteen minutes earlier than usual meant I wasn't prepared for the phone call. Not okay, punk.

"James?" I blinked suddenly, my head jolting back a fraction, as I realised that this definitely wasn't Steve unless he had inhaled some helium and changed his accent.

"Wanda?" I asked, even though I knew it was her. She had a slight nervousness in her voice that she seemed to show not only around me. I heard how she spoke before I ran into her in the kitchen the other day. I half-wondered what she was doing up this early. I pictured her to be the type to sleep in as much as possible, however, you are never to judge a book by its cover. Same goes for spying - don't underestimate the enemy. I shook my head and told myself 'Wanda isn't the enemy!'

"Yeah, it's definitely not Steve..." she said, sounding a little awkward with herself. A small, shy giggle echoed through the phone that made my body tense slightly. I screwed up my nose at the foreign feeling and persisted to ask what she was calling about. We weren't friends, so this wouldn't be a social call. Not that I get any social calls or have any friends. Apart from Steve perhaps, but I don't know him like it did. It's...odd.

"What do you want?" I asked, getting straight to the point. I didn't have time for her shenanigans. Steve would be calling in five minutes and I didn't need her on the phone.

"Well, I checked with Steve last night and I was wondering whether it would be okay with you if we could make a few changes to your schedule?" That didn't sound great. Why wasn't Steve talking to me about this? If someone wants something or needs something signed by me, then it goes through Steve. She said that she asked Steve, but did she? I hardly knew the gal and wasn't sure whether I could actually trust her or not. She was still unfamiliar in my mind.

"What kind of changes?" I gripped the table slightly, feeling my body get a little tense and irritated. I took a breath. I didn't want to get angry, especially at the start of the day.

"I don't know whether you would be okay with this or not, but maybe have us meet every evening to help you with your memories? Obviously, if you don't want to, it's fine. It was just a suggestion, but I thought it might help you come to grips with-"

"Yes." Her ramblings would've almost made me smile if they weren't so irritating. I cut her short to save the verbal debate she would have with herself for the next ten minutes. Women were always like that. Not Peggy actually, she wasn't like that. Straight to the point. A bit of mess, but no fuss.

"Uhh...okay. Well, that's great." she said, sounding surprised that I agreed with her. I think she expected more of a battle.

"I would have to do something in return." I said, almost immediately. I didn't want her thinking that I was just going to accept her help and not give anything back to her. She started shaking her head.

"No, no, there's no need for tha-"

"No. Let me do something for you or I'm not getting help. And I know Steve will want me to get help."

"You're getting help just to please him?" she asked, curiously, and I knew that I had disappointed her. I didn't see the point in lying because I wasn't sure how easy it was for her to look into my mind. I didn't fully trust her, but then again, I didn't fully trust anyone.

"Yes." I answered, knowing she expected the answer.

"You should be doing it for yourself." she answered. I looked at the floor, almost envisioning her disappointed face beside me. My grip tightened on my phone, fingering clenching the side of the object.

"Right now that isn't enough." I told her honestly, wondering whether getting help made me a good or bad person. Fixing my head was for Steve, but I knew it wouldn't make me a better person. I think Steve thought it would. I would never be able to rid myself of the guilt I had for killing all those people. It was my fault. If I fought better, I wouldn't have fallen from the train. If I was a better person, I would've fought the mind control and not let myself be taken over by HYDRA. If I was pure and good, I wouldn't have been the assassin that ruined thousands of lives that didn't deserve to die. Explosions, bullets, knives - all of it. All the tools to kill, detonate, shoot, stab. Detonate, shoot, stab. Detonate, shot, STAB!

"How about...you could train me, I guess?" It had been at least thirty seconds of silence before Wanda said this, the guilt trip going on in my head without me moving a muscle. "If Steve agrees to it? I bet you haven't had anyone to spar with in a while." I couldn't fight Wanda. She was too fragile and I would end up killing her, I knew it.

"No. I'm not sparring with a woman." I said sternly, hoping she would understand the threat that I held.

"And why not?" she asked, sounding offended. _Shit, I hated offending dames._

"You're weak." I continued. I couldn't tell whether I wanted to offend her more or whether I was telling the truth. Something about the conversation felt slightly light-hearted like we were giving jabs to each other. It was an odd feeling.

"I'm not weak, I'm a warrior. You'll learn the difference soon enough." I'll learn the difference? I will. Future, implying that she would spar with me at some point. I almost groaned. _Why wouldn't this woman back down?_

"Natalia is a warrior. You are no warrior." I informed her, returning to the serious conversation we started off having. Natalia was trained by the red room, whereas, I knew that Wanda was raised in Sokovia with little food, little training and little chance to fight with anyone but Pietro. I knew she was with HYDRA for a while, but I knew that their treatment was horrific. She hadn't been training with the Avengers for very long either and she didn't look extremely strong. "I'll kill you." I added, hoping that would scare her off a little. I could be scary when I wanted to, I knew that. In a way, I declined emotions. I could feel them if I wanted to, but I just refused them. HYDRA programming told me that I didn't need them and as much as I hated them, life was better without them.

"If you lose control, I can take control of your mind and stop you. You know I can." I couldn't really argue with her logic. I knew she had stopped people in the past with her powers, so she could easily stop me. I actually hadn't thought about the mentally strong side that she possessed. She was emotional, I could see that, but I got the impression that she could control it when she needed. Manipulative little witch..."And who beat Natasha during Civil War?" She added. There was silence for a few seconds, not wanting to say aloud that it was her. "I'm sorry, what was that?" she asked and I could almost envision her playful smirk.

"Speak to Steve about it." I said and hung up the phone, throwing it across onto my mattress. I leant my elbows on the desk and put my forehead into my palms. Was training her a bad idea? Probably. Would it be fun? Perhaps, depended on how good she was. Would I enjoy it? Hmm...probably not. But I knew I had to give her something in return. Fighting was my best skill, I had nothing else.

I heard my phone buzz and walked over to pick it up, noticing a text from Wanda. _Was this woman ever going to stop bugging me?_

 **'Soooo, is that a yes to the schedule change - W'**

I replied immediately to the text. **'Fine - B'** I decided to copy her style of writing. I didn't usually write anything at the end of my texts, but then again, I only texted Steve.

The phone buzzed again. **'You're a man of few words, aren't you - W'**

I decided not to reply and let her keep the kick she got out of winding me up to herself. I read the time as 0658 and decided to sit there and wait for Steve to call. My phone pinged once more and looked at the message, rolling my eyes at the laughing/crying emoji that Wanda had sent me.

 **Wanda POV**

I was snuggled up in bed with the blanket up to my chin looking at the two continuous messages I had just sent Barnes. _Perhaps he doesn't get the joke? Maybe I went too far and he thinks I'm annoying. I thought the suggestion of training me was a good idea. Maybe not in his eyes._

I saw the message come through before the phone buzzed. A deadpan emoji. SUCCESS! I giggled to myself, the face reminding me of a face Barnes would pull if someone didn't get a simple concept. I put my phone on the bedside table, deciding not to push it too far. I didn't want to push the colleague boundary too much as I didn't know if he classified us as friends. I also knew that Steve called him at seven and that's why I knew to text him beforehand.

I wondered in my mind whether Barnes had texts from other women. He probably only texted Steve, but he must've at least spoken to other women. _Right_? What if he thought I was flirting or something like that? I turned my body so my back was against the mattress, moving my arms on top of the duvet as I looked up at the ceiling, wondering whether I was accidentally flirting with James.

This was ridiculous. Yes, James had an extremely flattering body, but I wasn't attracted to him. He hardly felt emotions anyway, HYDRA made sure of that. Entering his mind affirmed that idea. I felt sorry for him, probably never being able to develop a romantic relationship with anyone. He seemed to know about Natasha a lot, or Natalia as he called her. Maybe there was something going on there. There were small, childish relationships that happened when I was younger, but I knew that one day I found find someone right for me. Barnes didn't have those types of thoughts in his head. I felt sorry for him.

I shook my head, knowing that James would be irritated at me for feeling sympathy for him and sighed. I looked over at the wardrobe and frowned. I really couldn't be bothered to get dressed. It was a Saturday. My head and I agreed that it would probably be best for me to stay in my pyjama shorts and top...you know...for reasons...I picked up my choker and put it over my neck, checking in the mirror that it covered the marks from the shock collar. I shivered as I thought of the treatment I had in the Raft. _Don't think about it._

 **1 hour later**

"God, I hate this woman," Tony commented, pouring Pepper some orange juice to have for breakfast. We were watching a woman with the last name of 'Everhart' present the news. I didn't have any problem with her, but obviously, the others did. Being the new one and not wanting to get on their bad side, I decided to keep mouth shut and restrain myself from asking what their problem with her was.

"Morning." Steve greeted as Bucky entered the room. I was surprised to actually see the ex-assassin up this early. James smiled at Steve slightly but immediately went to find something to eat, not looking at anybody else in the room. I did notice that his eyes glanced over at the exits and reckoned that it must've been his training. As he went back to focus on what he was doing, I saw him quickly look at my outfit, his eyes widening slightly at the outfit. He immediately went back to find food. I looked down at my exposed legs, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my skimpy outfit. I didn't think anyone would care.

"Oh God, what's this about?" Pepper said, her eyebrows creasing at the sight of the television as she took the glass of orange juice from Tony and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I saw Bucky stop pouring his milk into his bowl and stare the couple, noticing their interaction. It was then that I realised that he probably hadn't had sex since 1940 unless a mission required him to do so, though I doubt HYDRA would be that cruel. Then again..."Volume up, JARVIS." Pepper's voice drew me away from staring at Bucky, which was probably a good thing. I don't think he would've like me staring too much.

"-discovered a couple of days ago. Some members of the public are outraged after leaked footages show AIT, Avenger in training, Wanda Maximoff, otherwise known as Scarlet Witch, being tortured by the government, whilst being held captive in a prison known as the Raft. Here is just some of the footage. Be aware that some of this footage may be disturbing to viewers."

By this time, everybody's attention was on the screen. I was standing up, arms crossed over me as I stared at the television. A video began to play. I remembered it all - the cells, the handcuffs, the grey walls. _A guard began to speak. He was attaching the collar to my neck, but I could see the others in the background in their cells._ " _This thing detects your magic. If you try to speak or communicate the others, there will be consequences."_

 _I opened my mouth opening to speak, but as soon as I did, the guard stepped back and the collar went off, my body shaking violently against the floor._ I dipped my head slightly as the others watched, a couple of gasps coming from them. "Oh my God…" Rhodey whispered, putting his drink on the table as his eyes stayed glued to the screen. Natasha, Clint and Maria were there too, but they were behind the table island, so I couldn't see what they were doing.

The footage continued.

 _The others banged against the glass in protest. The guard went out of the cell and shut the door, addressing everyone in the room as the shocks stopped. "If you do anything that the guards don't like, we have the power to shock her. Speaking will mean that she gets the consequences and I'm sure you wouldn't like your beautiful little witch to get hurt now, would you?" he said, bitterly, turning to smile at me as I lay, gasping on the floor._

" _You can't do this!" Clint argued, hitting his fist against his cell door. The guard turned to him and glared, raising his hand to point at the archer. "That is the kind of behaviour I'm talking about." the guard shouted, clicking the button to activate my collar. Another bolt of electricity shot through me, my body twitching violently as my mouth opened in a silent scream._

" _NOOOOO!" Clint screamed as he watched me being tortured, knowing there was nothing he could do about it._ _The guard went to stand by the entrance with another guard in the same uniform. The video continued to show me jolting until I passed out._

The screen switched back to Everhart where she explained further about my treatment. "It was at that point that Miss Maximoff passed out from the pain. Other footage shows that the shock collar would go off if she spoke, cried or if the other Avengers in the cells misbehaved. Scientists believe that this treatment will be emotionally and physically scarring for her. The footage can be found on YouTube, but we would advise against watching it as it may be distressing for some viewers. What we want to know is whether you think this treatment was just? The Avengers have been known to go too far sometimes. We want to hear your thoughts. Please tweet us with the hasht-"

Clint was the one that told JARVIS to switch the television off. He was standing right next to me, reaching out to place a hand on my forearm. I looked around the room. Tony was holding Pepper close, his arm wrapped around Pepper's waist as she looked at me teary-eyed. Clint and Natasha were on either side of me, Natasha hovering slightly as Clint stroked my arm. Rhodey, Maria and Steve were just looking at my neck and I hated it.

Bucky was the odd one out. I looked him right in the eyes, his staring into mine as well. He was the only person who was actually looking at me. His eyebrows were creased at me and I sensed that he had something he wanted to say. I would need to talk to him in private about it and all the other shit that went on last night to do with his memories. I would definitely need a conversation about _that_. The expression he wore, so grave and dark, sent a small shiver down my spine. I wasn't sure whether I liked him looking at me or not. I focused back on the others, looking at them as they stared at the choker.

"Would you stop it, please? Just stop with the sympathetic looks, I don't need this shit." The choker was thick, a size that I chose specifically because it covered up the mark of the collar. The only people that had seen it were Clint and Bucky, even though I didn't actually want Bucky to see it, but I forgot about it. Clint was like a father, Natasha like a mother and Steve like a brother. They would look after me like I was there own, but I think part of it was to do with Pietro being gone.

"Don't wear it." Maria suggested. Everyone turned to stare up her in shock, Steve even suggesting that it was a bit much to ask for, but I met her eyes. It was a challenge. I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of everyone. "We aren't afraid of our insecurities and you shouldn't be eithe-"

"Fine." I said, grabbing the material and ripping it away from my neck, exposing the fresh mark that was resting there. Pepper gasped slightly, tears forming in her eyes. I turned back to look at Maria. "Happy?" She raised an eyebrow, surprised by my reaction, but still nodded. I think she was proud of me somehow. I wanted to prove that I was stronger than they though and I think I did, even though I was probably one of the weakest of the group, but I didn't want them to know that. I placed my hand over Clint's, brushing it off as I retired to my room, forgetting to even get breakfast. I lost my appetite.

 **Bucky POV**

"Why did you do that?" Clint asked, angry that Maria had told Wanda to take off her choker. It was a high order that Wanda, to my surprise, met. I thought she was much weaker, but she exceeded my expectations.

"She needs to toughen up. She's not going to do that if we act like she's made of glass." Maria said, truthfully, to which I agreed. She wasn't going to get tougher if we left her be and she definitely wasn't tough. She was weaker than the team realised.

"She needs closure." Rhodey said from his wheelchair, pushing himself forward to join the group properly. "She's probably feeling a lot of guilt right now, especially from the Lagos incident."

"What she needs is a teacher, a proper teacher." Natasha said, folding her arms across her chest and taking a step closer to her archer. "Someone who can strengthen her mind as well as her physicality, that means not only training with Vision, Rhodey and Sam on a group basis, but with someone individually."

Steve turned his head to look at her and contemplated the idea. It was a look he had used with me before, I just couldn't piece when or where or what about. "That's not a bad idea actually." he agreed, stepping forward into a circle that the group had somehow made. I stood on the outside against the counter, not wanting to get involved. I preferred listening than contributing to the conversation. "If we introduced a main Avenger to the newest then training would progress quicker."

Clint brought up a problem though. "Tony doesn't train with people, Thor is nowhere to be seen, Steve, me, Maria and Natasha can train one of the four - Rhodey, Vision, Sam or Scott. We would need someone strong to train Wanda, but who?" I ate a spoon of cereal as I thought about it.

I wanted to stay away from as many of the Avengers as I could, but that didn't seem to be happening. I was planning on slipping away from the group at some point during their conversation. I had already moved two metres closer to the door without anyone noticing. However, I knew that I needed to repay her. The witch was going to be helping me get my memories back, which meant that I would owe her a debt. Talking about it this morning convinced me that it might be a good idea. If she needed to learn how to fight, then that could be my payment back to her. I wouldn't be able to give her anything else, so I didn't see a problem with it. "Me."

Steve immediately jumped in. "No. Why would you even want to?" I turned to the man, tensing my jaw at the control he had over me. He was often telling me what to do or telling people how or how not to treat me. He made all of my decisions, but he was not making this one. I took a small bite of cereal before answering him.

"She's helping me with my memories, I owe her. Training is the only reward I can give her. She even suggested it this morning on the phone." I wasn't useful for anything else and there was nothing else that I could give to her. I saw Steve's eyebrows frown a little when I mentioned the phone call.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Natasha chipped in, peering at me in thought.

"Nat, not helping." Steve said firmly, almost glaring at her.

"No, think about it. Wanda would be the only one who could stop Bucky if he does something incorrectly in training. That would mean that he might even be able to train other recruits one day or fight with us." she argued. I nodded and looked at Steve. It was the least I could do for the services she was giving me. If I trained other agents in the future, maybe that would get rid of some of the guilt in my head.

Steve pursed his lips and looked at me curiously. "She suggested it?" he asked sceptically and I nodded, stirring my bowl slowly.

"She seemed quite persistent on it actually." I said, taking a final bite of the cereal I had made for myself before taking it to the sink to wash up. I knew JARVIS could probably do it automatically from what I'd heard, but I preferred doing things the old fashioned way.

"Any objections?" Steve asked as I turned back around. I heard Clint suck in a breath, a hesitant expression on his face as he prepared to argue something, but released it a second later, obviously dismissing his argument. Steve looked at me.

"Okay, Buck." My shoulders tensed at the name, but I tried not to show it, rolling them off gently and releasing a silent breath to calm down. "You want to go tell her the new development?"

"Sure." I shrugged, moving towards the door. I would do whatever the others said if it wasn't too much. I didn't want to cause any more trouble than I already had.

"You might want to take her some breakfast too." he said, handing me the bowl that she hadn't finished eating her cereal out of. I accepted it off Steve and nodded, noticing the small smile he gave me. I let the right side of my lips snake up for a moment before leaving the room. Slowly, I was getting better, but I would never be Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend. I sighed and headed for Wanda's room, hoping to God that she wouldn't take the cereal and throw it in my face if I tried to talk to her. I had no idea why she would, but she was unpredictable at times. I certainly never thought she would suggest getting me to train her in exchange for helping to fix my head.

I reached her door and brought my knuckles up to it, gently knocking. I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door, but I certainly didn't know how to deal with what I met. She had been crying. Her eyes were glazed over with tears and I could see the red marks underneath her eyes that showed where she was been rubbing them off of her face. She sniffled slightly and put on a fake smile to try and conceal what was really going on. We both knew she was doing a crap job of hiding her upset.

 **Aaaaannnndddd thank you ever so much for reading. I really appreciate your reviews, so please drop me one and it would make me feel ten times better. Also, if I get hardly any reviews, I put off fanfiction for ages, so the chapters will genuinely come out quicker if you review. Thank you so much and I hope you have a great day!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Message to you all:**

 **Hello all! I know, I know - it has been ages since my last post. My first exam is on the 7th of June and my last is on the 23rd. I REALLY wanna get into University, so I promise I will post more after my exams. I thought you deserved one before the break though...even though...I've kinda been on a break for ages. Thank you so much to all the followers, reviewers, favouriters, EVERYONE! You are all fantastic.**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Howling2themoon - Thank you so much :)**

 **fitzsimmons27 - I'm very glad that you like it!**

 **WinterWitch4eva - I know I have been super slow on the updates, but I really appreciate your review. Thank you for your love of the story 3**

 **Forgotmypaszsword - Thank you so much! That name thing is a genius idea. I will definitely be using that in the future! Writing it down on my notes as we speak.**

 **dream2bawrtr - I had to double check that I spelt that right :P My God, thank you for reviewing every single chapter. I always do it with the stories I read, because I know how appreciated I feel when I get a review. I know the updates are slow, but my life is super busy at the minute and I'm writing four stories. Yeah, I really liked the emoji thing, I though it was funny too. Will he comfort her? You'll have to see ;) I really love you soooooo much for all the reviews you've given. THANK YOU!**

 **Previously:**

 **"You might want to take her some breakfast too." he said, handing me the bowl that she hadn't finished eating her cereal out of. I accepted it off Steve and nodded, noticing the small smile he gave me. I let the right side of my lips snake up for a moment before leaving the room. Slowly, I was getting better, but I would never be Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend. I sighed and headed for Wanda's room, hoping to God that she wouldn't take the cereal and throw it in my face if I tried to talk to her. I had no idea why she would, but she was unpredictable at times. I certainly never thought she would suggest getting me to train her in exchange for helping to fix my head.**

 **I reached her door and brought my knuckles up to it, gently knocking. I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door, but I certainly didn't know how to deal with what I met. She had been crying. Her eyes were glazed over with tears and I could see the red marks underneath her eyes that showed where she was been rubbing them off of her face. She sniffled slightly and put on a fake smile to try and conceal what was really going on. We both knew she was doing a crap job of hiding her upset.**

 **Bucky POV**

"Um..." I hadn't really planned on what to say to her, but now that I was standing in front of her, acting a little speechless, I felt stupid for not preparing something on the way. "I...brought you your cereal." _Seriously, Barnes? That's the best you could come up with?_

She smiled sweetly at me, but shook her head, blinking her eyes a little to try and clear the tears in her eyelashes. "That's very sweet of you, James, but I've sort of lost my appetite." She began to close the door, but I put my foot in it.

"Are you going against your trainer's advice?" I asked, turning my head slightly, a small smile etched on my face as I hoped that she would understand what I was implying. Smiling felt...odd. I didn't do it very often, but something about our repartee warmed my heart slightly. It was an odd feeling that I wanted to push to the furthest corners of the Earth to protect her, but also be selfish and keep it close. Pushing it away would probably be the best option.

Her eyebrow was furrowed and her face went through stages of realisation. Confusion, surprise, disbelief and then happiness. "They agreed?" she asked, taking the bowl from me. Her smile could light up a whole room and my smile dropped slightly as I realised that I shouldn't be tarnishing someone who could be so heart-warming. I wasn't good enough to be her...anything, not that I thought of her as anything more than a friend. She was hardly that, merely an acquaintance. Maybe it was better if it stayed that way.

She sniffled slightly, her nose being slightly runny from the crying. I frowned slightly. "Yeah, they did." She sighed with relief slightly with a smile. I stared at a corner on the floor asking myself why I didn't ask why she was crying in the first place. Of course I knew _why_ she was crying, but I wanted to make sure that she was okay.

She tilted her head, a curious expression on her face. "What is it?"

I looked back to her face, her cheeks still red, and noticed that she had put the...collar back around her neck. "I was meant to..." I frowned at my own foolishness for not checking on her like I was supposed to do. "Are...are you okay?" She bit her lip and looked at the ground. _Was I asking_ _the wrong thing? Was this the right thing to be doing? I hadn't talked to someone like this in so long._

She opened the door and gestured for me to come in. I'd been in before and didn't bother to double check if it was alright with her as it clearly was. Wanda's room felt out of my comfort zone. It was all...homely. Books and photographs and drawings and pillows. My brain didn't want to accept that I would be permanently staying in one place, not after HYDRA. It was a simple cell, not duvet or pillow, nothing but a slab on which to sleep. I had gotten used to it. I stood in the centre of the room, looking back on her as she shut the door and walked over.

She sat on the wooden swing thing again, the seat that had rope attaching it to the ceiling. As I predicted, it supported her perfectly fine. She sat on the bed, but I stayed standing up. She rolled her eyes at me and sniffled again, beckoning me over. "You don't have to ask permission or ask where to sit in my room, you know? You can just come and sit...wherever..."

I frowned as I tentatively walked over to her. I'd sat on her bed before, the one time she entered my mind, but recognising all the homely things around her room made me feel a more discomforted than last time. "I'd prefer asking permission if that's alright."

"Well you don't need to with me," she replied, smiling slightly as she tried to keep down the tears that were forming from her thinking about all the things that I _still_ hadn't started talking with her about yet. _Idiot_. Before we talked about what was wrong, I realised that she was the only person that had said I didn't need to ask permission. I think Steve assumed that I knew how to do things, sit without needing someone telling me where or when. It was foreign to me in a way. Not her.

"Is Hill the person that's upsetting you?" Hill was out of order in the kitchen, making Wanda take her collar off like that. If she needed to heal, then she should've been given the space to heal in her own way. Hill's methods made me trust her a little less. They reminded me of HYDRA.

She shook her head. "No, me and Hill are friends." I raised an eyebrow at that and she chuckled, understanding how that might be misconstrued in my opinion. "Really, we are. She just doesn't understand me occasionally. Hill was trying to toughen me up."

"So what is it?" She ducked her head slightly, but I could still see the tears falling from her face. Something in me made me want to reach out and swipe them away, but I restrained myself.

"I'm fed up," she began and I could tell that she was trying to keep her voice in control. She took a breath and looked right, towards the window, the tears on her cheeks becoming more visible than before. "Everybody, apart from Hill, is treating me like glass since we were rescued from the Raft and I don't want to be treated like glass. I want to be treated like..." She looked to me and drew her lips into a line before speaking. "...a warrior."

She wanted to make me think about what I'd said to her this morning on the phone:

 ** _"You're weak."_**

 ** _"I'm not weak, I'm a warrior. You'll learn the difference soon enough."_** _she'd said to me._

 ** _"Natalia is a warrior. You are not warrior."_**

"I'm fed up of crying, I'm fed up of losing and I'm fed up of not being strong enough to take down my enemies." She spoke with conviction, wanting her to know how serious she was. Lagos. She was talking about Lagos. Everyone had heard about the incident, it was published all over the newspapers. I felt what she felt, the feeling of being targeted by the public. We both still did.

"Well, I'm glad Steve agreed to me training you then." I wanted to help her. I'd never really wanted to help someone before, but it felt good to finally be helping someone. My whole life had been me destroying one thing after another. I didn't want to make anything worse. If she wanted to be trained, I would train her. I frowned, remembering how our conversation about training went that morning.

"Please forgive me for how I treated you this morning," I said, bowing my head in guilt. She wasn't a warrior, not yet anyway, but I knew saying that she wasn't hurt her. I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. The room was quiet and it put me on edge, made me want to fidget, punch something, do anything, but I couldn't stay in here with her. I put my hands together, feeling awkward apologising to her. "I didn't mean to say you weren't a warrior." I briefly looked up at her before getting up to leave. I hoped that my face was soft and that I wasn't scaring or upsetting her. I felt like I was doing that a lot to people lately.

I couldn't really read what he face was trying to communicate, but it wasn't happiness. There were no tears in her eyes, but she looked slightly sad. Perhaps I _had_ hurt her too much by saying that. It was obviously something that she wanted to be. She was still quiet as she looked up at me. "I hope I can help you enough to make you feel better." I had no idea what else to say to her and in the back of my mind I was thinking about the fact that her cereal was turning into mush every second I stayed. She deserved to have at least a good breakfast.

I was going to turn around, but she stood up abruptly. She paused where she was, seemingly stopping herself from moving forward. She was probably afraid to attack me. "Can I hug you?"

I certainly didn't expect that from her. Fight me maybe, tell me to leave, but _not_ to hug her. I was trying to think about the last time I had ever hugged someone. Maybe during the war? It was probably Steve, but not since I became the Winter Soldier. Human contact had usually been used in a violent way towards me. I frowned at her for a second, trying to understand why she wanted to give me comfort when no one had in so long.

She had this small smile on her lips with a slightly desperate look in her eyes to reach out and grab me. I could trust her enough to know that she wouldn't. We both knew that anything could trigger me and wouldn't want to risk it. "Is that okay? I promise I won't ask again." Her voice sounded worried that I would say that she couldn't or perhaps that I would just freak out by her question.

"Um...I...I haven't..." For some reason, I couldn't speak. It was like my mind wasn't understanding what she wanted to do. Why would a pure person like her want to hug a monster like me?

"I know." Routing through my mind must've allowed her to discover the lack of human contact I'd had. "Is it okay?" I didn't know whether I wanted it or not. Hugging just seemed so homely. Like Wanda and her room. _Would I be a good idea?_ I couldn't even remember what a hug feels like.

"Okay." For some reason, I found myself agreeing to her suggestion. She slowly came up towards me and held out her hands.

"I'm going to go from your hands and go up to wrap them around your shoulders, okay?" I nodded. I was glad she was talking through what she was going to do. It made me feel a lot safer. She was right in front of me, approximately 40cm away. That little smile still lingered on the corner of her lips, like it often did. I held my breath as her hands slowly made their way to the hand that was without metal. That's where she was starting.

The first contact felt so light, like she was hardly touching me at all. Her fingertips ghosted over my hands until she reached my wrist, her palm moving to cover my forearm with her fingertips wrapping round the rest of my hand. She could hardly get the half way around my arm, my body parts being much bigger than hers. I looked at her a second and relaxed a little knowing that she was focusing on the movements of her hand making it's way up the outside of my skin covering my arm and not on my face. She looked concentrated, but relaxed at the same time. I don't think I could deal with her looking at me when we were this close. Something about it made me anxious. When people were that close to me, it was usually to kill me. When she got to my elbow, she stopped and looked at my metal arm. That was the next step.

My metal hand was turned upwards and her fingertips touched mine. I heard her gasp slightly, probably because of the cold temperature of the metal. I went back to watching her hand move again instead of watching her facial expressions. When her palm was flat against mine, she gave it a reassuring squeeze. I gently returned it and heard her giggle quietly, the sound so quiet you could consider it a huff rather than an actual laugh. She followed the movements she made with her other hand and stopped at my elbow. My long-sleeved shirt was dragging against the metal plates I had, but neither of us bothered to fix it.

As she started to slowly move both hands up together towards my shoulders, I decided to pick my metal arm to look at. It was the most vulnerable to me out of the two, which was odd considering it was stronger and more advanced. As they reached my shoulders, she smoothly moved her arms around my back and moved in to hug me. Because of her height, her face was half resting in my shoulder rather than upon it. Her palms were against my back now and it made me tense for a few seconds. They were warm and gentle against me. It was strange.

For the beginning, my arms remained by my sides, not wanting to wrap around her just yet. The pressure against me was nice - the feeling of being pulled towards someone made me feel wanted somehow. I closed my eyes and tuned my senses into registering every movement that she was making. She was soothingly working her hand up and down my back, trying to calm me. I didn't need calming, but I think she thought that I did. Feeling someone hug me was intense, but incredible at the same time. _Was this what it felt like with everyone or just Wanda?_ She made me feel so emotive and I didn't know whether I liked it or not.I felt like sighing, being kept from human contact for so long and finally getting some relief.

"You don't need to do anything if you don't want to," she whispered, her voice so quiet and innocent. I could feel her warm breath against my neck, her fingertips pressing into me a little harder than her palms. It was surprisingly blissful. She said I didn't need to hug her back, but I wanted to. I wanted to prove to myself that a hug was no scarier than taking down thirty soldiers. I wanted to prove I wasn't a wimp.

Slowly, I brought my hands up, hoping not to scare her by being too quick. My skin hand touched her first, not wanting the cold of my other hand to shock her. She didn't seem disturbed by me touching her back. I wrapped my normal arm around her fragile frame, hooking my fingers around her waist when it felt right to. I was almost like an instinct to me, even though I hadn't done it in so long. I was thinking about it in my head like it was some sort of difficult art you had to master, but it wasn't. It was just an embrace.

She didn't make any fuss when my metal arm wrapped around her either, doing the same action that my normal hand had by resting on her waist. I suddenly felt quite protective of her. The hug felt important and her small body seemed very fragile and small in my arms. I didn't realise that I had slowly been hugging her tighter and tighter until she mentioned it, loving the feeling too much that I forgot that she needed to breathe.

"James, a little looser?" she asked and I quickly moved to step away, but she pulled me back. "Not too loose." A breathy laugh left my lips as I settled back into her arms, making sure to pull her up slightly so she had less pressure to push herself up on her tiptoes. I felt bad for squeezing her too tightly and made sure to keep my grip like it was originally, not pressing too hard. We stayed there for a few moments, just enjoying the way we both felt in that moment, wrapped against each other like it was normal. None of this was normal. I opened my eyes at that realise and tensed slightly. Over the time we'd been hugging, she'd made me forget about the monster I was. If I forgot about that, the Soldier would most likely be more vulnerable to attack if someone surprised him. If I kept my guard up, I would be prepared for attacks.

She must've felt me tense as she slowly released her hold on me, my arms returning to my sides as well. "Are you okay?" I asked, stepping back slightly so we were about a metre apart. I wanted to keep my distance for a second. I casually looked towards the doors and the balcony to make sure nothing was wrong. She didn't seem to notice.

She sighed with a pleased smile on her face. "Much better, thank you." She was looking up at me with something that seemed like admiration, but I must've been seeing things. Wanda's stretch of emotions were very vast after all. She seemed to be telling the truth which I was glad about. I...was glad? That I had made her better...That was an odd feeling.

"Good." I responded and hesitated for a second before pointing towards the cereal bowl on the table that she had left. "I'll leave you to eat your breakfast." I turned and walked towards the door, not knowing what else to say to keep up the conversation. Texting was more my style - I didn't have to spontaneously interact with people. Also, I could end the conversation when I wanted to and take time to think about what I was going to say. I was more of a planner.

"Do you want me to meet you in a bit for training?" she asked, causing me to stop in the doorway and look back at her. Part of me really wanted to quickly rush out the door, but even I knew that was rude. Wanda had been nothing but kind to me and I hadn't been the best listener. "You could talk with Steve about meeting me and then I could get to you through JARVIS?"

I nodded and replied; "Okay, I'll probably be in my room if you want to find me." She nodded and I smiled very briefly before shutting the door. I felt a little bit of relief getting out of her room. It wasn't that I didn't like it, I didn't, but I liked being on my own, especially after being enclosed in close proximity with someone. I sighed and made my way back to the kitchen. Undoubtedly, Steve would be there asking me questions about how my interaction with Wanda went. Punk.

 **Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm sorry if I went into too much detail about the hug, but I thought it was necessary and cute. I ship them so hard. Also, Steve calling Bucky may be a sign that he is getting used to Steve more...just a thought ;)**

 **EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME - I once again am sorry about the late updates. I have exams SUPER SOON and I...kinda wanna get into Uni, you know? I would love it if you could leave me a review, it would literally make my day so much. I'll write you a personal reply on the next chapter that I write. Remember that i am always up for listening to your suggestions for the story. Thank you for supporting me through this so far. I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE READ! I haven't read over this properly, so if there are any mistakes, please point them out to me! THANK YOU!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Response to reviews (I was honestly over the moon that I GOT SO MANY!):**

 **LovelyAmber - my goodness! Thank you so much! I'm really glad you think that my writing is realistic. Woah, I honestly appreciate your review so much! Thank you! Can't wait to see what you think of future chapters!**

 **WinterWitch4eva - I know, the hug was so cute! It took me ages to write but I thought it was worth it for it's adorableness. Yeah, I like doing pairs slowly otherwise you miss all the cuteness! Hopefully you'll like this one too!**

 **Witch of evil - Love you too! In our family we say FLY (F***ing Love You) so FLY to you if you don't mind swearing! Haha! Anyway, glad you enjoyed the chapter.**

 **Fitzsimmons27 - Yeah, he needs lots and lots of hugs! God, they are just so adorable aren't they!**

 **Lilleybelle - The hug was just so beautiful. Yeah, I think she's going to be the one doing a lot of reintroducing! Thank you so much! I think the exams went well Can't wait to see what you think of this chapter!**

 **SlytherinAvengerPrincess - I know, the emotions are high! They are just so adorable, I had to put a hug in their. They are so careful with each other! Glad you loved it and I can't wait to see what you think of have this one.**

 **Nana723 - I really appreciate the view first of all! Second of all, thank yooouuuuu! I'm really glad you like the story! Big hugs! :)**

 **Katesthefirework - must say, that is a very interesting name! Aha! Yeah, I thought alternating the POV's would make it more interesting! They are such a cute couple, aren't they? Really glad you liked it and I can't wait to hear what you think of this one.**

 **AngelfromBeyondBelow - Thank you! The training session is going to be awesome...hopefully, I'm responding to this review before I've even written this chapter yet but hopefully it's good! Haha! Please tell me if it lived up to your expectations!**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - Short and sweet, but I like it! Thanks for the review!**

 **Dream2bawrtr - Blooming hell, that name is difficult to write on a phone! Hehe! I knoooowwww! The hug was friggin' adorable! Yeah, the fluff for this chapter was high, but I am determined to make it higher! Oh my goodness, I'm actually moved by how much you love this chapter! Awwww, honestly, your reviews make me so happy and how often you review and what you say, it just brightens up my day so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

 **This huge number of reviews honestly made me so happy! Thank you so much for being so supportive of me. 10 reviews! That's insane! It honestly made my day! I love you all! If you all review again, I would be OVER THE MOON! THANK YOU!**

 **Bucky POV**

Steve and I ended up waiting in the training room at 9am for Wanda to come in. Steve was there just incase anything went wrong. Even though I had given him a glare, wanting time to train Wanda by myself, I didn't trust myself either.

"And you are sure you want to do this?" Steve asked me for the fourth time in the past ten minutes. I looked at him with a deadpan expression and he put his hands up as if he were proclaiming his innocence. "Just checking."

"HYDRA ain't in me no more, pal." The friendly term seemed to roll straight off my tongue without realising it and I noticed my accent strongly sounded like a Brooklyn one. He smiled slightly and I tried to not feel bad about how I wasn't that old version of Bucky, failing miserably and feeling very bad about it indeed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just care about Wanda," he said and I frowned at him. He immediately added "I obviously care about you too, but I think that you'll be able to do more damage than she will."

"That's not why I'm frowning..." I said, looking at Steve suspiciously. He opened his mouth to ask me why, but Wanda walked into the room. I was frowning because I didn't realise he cared about her. Did he care about her as more than a friend? I didn't know what to think of that if he did. I wanted him to be happy, but for some reason part of me wanted to protect Wanda and I didn't know why.

 **Wanda POV**

"Who trained you before me?" was the first question he asked as I came to a stop in front of the pair. Not even a hello. At least Steve had given me a small smile.

"Agent Sanders, but we primarily focused on my powers and how to stop people with that rather than physical training," I explained to him, trying not to feel intimidated by his large demeanour. When it came to action, he definitely changed the way he was. I felt like he didn't see a difference, but I definitely did. His jaw was tighter, his muscles more prominent and his eyes more focused, if that were possible.

"Don't use your powers when sparing with me. Anything can happen that might require you to rely on strength rather than that ability," he said before looking me up and down once more. He definitely felt like a leader to me, but I knew he would never actually lead. He was part of the team, not it's captain. "Can you throw a punch?" he asked and I scoffed, feeling bold and immediately going for a hit to the face. I knew his hand would catch me in time and I wasn't scared of him...perhaps his super fast reflexes scared me a little, but I wasn't really scared of him as a whole person. "Good," he replied and looked like he was analysing my body. I felt slightly uncomfortable as he looked at me, but it wasn't like he was a pervert. It felt like a medical assessment of my body. He was a very intense character, but I didn't mind.

"Have you sparred with anyone?" he questioned and I shrugged.

"Natasha a few times." Natasha was definitely a worthy opponent. Her thigh hold was definitely as bad as the rumours said, not that anyone who had experienced the full brunt of it had actually survived. She was one of the most talented women I had every met, if not the most talented. Clint and her were two crazy ex-assassins that I would never want to get on the bad side of.

"How many times have you won?" _So many questions._ We were pacing around each other like a predator stalking it's prey. Unsurprisingly, I felt like the prey. I was much smaller than him and he was more powerful, but I wasn't scared because I knew that I would be able to stop him with my powers.

I raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding right? It's Natasha we're talking about here." I saw the small smirk of amusement on his face before he briefly glanced at Steve who was standing behind me. That look of slightly amusement was taken over by a stern expression.

"Let's see what you've got," he challenged and prepared himself to fight, raising his fist in a readied stance. I copied him, much like I did with Natasha, waiting in anticipation for his first attack. We both knew that I wouldn't move first.

He immediately lunged forward, expertly swinging his fist towards my face. I narrowly avoided his attack and went to kick his stomach, quickly thinking of a move to attack him. It failed, of course. He quickly intercepted by grabbing my leg and using my body weight to propel me across the mats. I grunted and tried to ignore the bruises that I knew would form as I pushed myself up to fight again. James was already charging at me, a determined look on his face, and I put up a shield, not being able to stop myself from the automatic reaction. I didn't even feel him hit the shield and when I looked up, I realised that he had managed to stop himself before making impact.

"I said no powers," he said, his gruff voice actually making me feel more attracted to him than afraid of him. Odd.

"Sorry, it always happens," I responded shyly, curling into myself slightly. I didn't like myself in my shy moments. Usually I was confident, but when I became embarrassed, I always felt self-conscious.

"Why?" he asked with more sincerity than when he last spoke. James' emotional states could vary from sincere to angry within the span of a millisecond, something that most likely made him an excellent spy for his cover work and for situations like interrogations. He was the perfect soldier, but I didn't really see him as that, more like a person with problems that would be able to recover if he worked for it. Even though I could see he was dedicated, I wasn't sure whether he would be up to becoming the Bucky that Steve used to know.

"It's just a reflex," I replied, briefly looking up at Steve who was studying us tentatively before looking back at James.

"You need to learn to trust me." His voice had returned to it's gruff state and I turned my nose up at it slightly. I didn't like the gruff side of James that thought he could push people to their limits to get them to work. It was a good technique, but it certainly wasn't healthy. He was not going to push me to trust him and I wouldn't let him if he tried.

"Like it's simple," I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest as I scowled at him slightly. We began to circle each other again as he smirked at me.

"Did I say it was?" he question with a smug grin, something that did pull out a small smile from me. Playful James was definitely something I could get used to. It seemed like he might be getting back some of the boy from Brooklyn, not that it would be likely to fully get that person back, but part of it could be possible.

"Do you trust me?" I asked as we came to a stop to ready ourselves for another sparring session. I had completely forgotten about Steve who was only standing about 10 metres away from us, ready to intercept our fight if he needed to, not that he would. I was too busy playing with Bucky.

"No. And I know you don't trust me," he said matter-of-factly as he assumed his starting position, fists at the ready again. I enjoyed having banterful conversations with Bucky, feeling as if other people didn't hold the same humour as he did. I hadn't really seen this side of him at all during my stay, but I liked it. I made a mental note to ask Steve if he was like that with any of the others.

"Wouldn't touch you with a barge pole," I snarkily replied, looking him up and down like he did to me. I saw his smile and could've sworn I heard him laugh, which seemed like a rare occurrence for the sniper. It was a shame as he actually had a pretty beautiful laugh that he probably didn't even realise. I would have to tell him one day. There was a playful look in his eyes that I knew my eyes reflected and it made me happy that he was getting some joy from this, even though I felt like my body had already taken quite a pounding from only one round.

"Now that's just rude," he teased before running up to begin sparring again.

The games that I was playing with Bucky were very painful ones at that. I groaned in pain as he slammed me down to the floor for at least the ninth time. I had fought valiantly, but had never managed to actually get the upper hand. I had assumed he wasn't fighting to his full potential, which made me feel even worse about my fighting style. I stayed there as I felt a shadow come over me, opening my eyes to see James standing there with his hands on his hips. "I'm done," I told him simply and let my body relax into the floor as I conceded our match.

I was tired. My hands and knees had taken most of the impact from the fight, falling down onto those the most. I had put up a fight, but it was definitely time to stop before any bones became broken and beyond repair. I had a sprained ankle at most, which wouldn't take long to heal, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch. I saw the tiny half proud smile that Bucky wore on his face and was tempted to punch it right off when I realised that he would intercept me before I even stood up and that he kind of deserved to be proud.

"I'm done," I whispered again, shutting my eyes as I lay against the mats, obviously giving him the message that I had given up and was ready for sleep, even though I was pretty sure it was still the morning. When I thought about it, I wasn't even sure. We had been sparring so long it might have turned into the next day.

"You givin' up that easily?" he asked with a teasing tone. I didn't need to look to know that his lips were pulled up in a smug smirk like they had been for the past...half hour we had been sparring? I guessed it had been half an hour. His Brooklyn accent was becoming more and more prominent as he spoke. When he was a HYDRA agent, they must have instructed him to change his accent in order to mask where he was from. Hearing it made my toes curl, in a good way. I liked hearing the accent come from his lips because it sounded so natural and free.

"Yup," I replied, popping the 'p'. I didn't know when I had become comfortable to be sassy with him, but I enjoyed it. All we had talked about so far was serious stuff, which I didn't mind, but it was nice to see a different side to him. "You're a super soldier and I'm shattered," I replied as an explanation as to why I was currently sprawled out on the floor like I had been run over by a bus.

"Hey," he said, catching my attention. I opened one eye to see what he wanted. I was quite comfortable on the floor, but he was offering his hand out to me. _We need to trust each other, right?_ I smiled as I accepted his hand and he easily pulled me up, his bicep muscles hardly making any effort to pull my fragile and light body off of the floor. "Are you hurt?" he asked, checking my body again for any damage.

"My ribs hurt slightly, but I think they're fine," I said, shrugging as I went over to get a drinks bottle, my body craving some water.

"Take your shirt off and I'll check you over." I almost choked on the water I was drinking when he said it, having to quickly take the bottle away from my lips as I swallowed. I raised my eyebrows at him, as did Steve.

"What?" he asked. It was obvious that he meant not disrespect, but I don't know why he would be so forward. Was he joking? He looked so serious about it though... "Is that not..." he began with a confused expression. I'd never seen James blush, but I notice his cheeks tinge red as embarrassment set in. Steve cleared his throat and gave him a sympathetic look.

"That's not appropriate, Bucky," he said quietly, moving a little closer to me. James immediately noticed the movement but didn't say anything as his eyes went back to focusing on me, but not directly at me. I felt so bad for James, not understanding how modern culture worked. I guessed that it wasn't even modern culture, just culture away from HYDRA.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with embarrassment and his eyes diverted away from me. "I was taught we were just bodies," he whispered, most likely just to himself, but we both picked up on it. He wasn't himself, not after what HYDRA did to him. Who would be? I wondered how I would ever get him to feel like he was normal in a world that was so alien to the life he had been leading. I also debated in my mind whether Steve had even settled in yet.

"Buck, you don't need to think like that anymore. It's okay to..." Steve cut his speech short when James started to quickly walk away, going straight to the doors to leave. Steve made a move to go after him, but I stopped him.

"I'll go," I said to Steve, holding up my hand as I ran after James, not waiting for Steve's permission to tell me it was okay. I got out the doors and looked both ways, noticing the dark outfit James was wearing before I actually noticed him. He was striding towards the elevator and I began to run towards him in order to keep up. His head tilted to one side as he heard me and he seemed to quicken his pace, but I wasn't going to let him go without talking to him first.

"James!" I called, ignoring the looks that some of the agents were giving me as I ran towards the elevator. James quickly got into the elevator and went to press the button to shut the doors, but I stopped him before he could. "JARVIS, hold the lift." I saw James visibly sigh as the elevator door waited until I was in the lift before shutting. I mentally thanked JARVIS for stopping James from escaping my grasp.

"Trying to escape me?" I asked, pressing the button to the very top floor. I was standing in front of James so he didn't feel vulnerable as we took the elevator up to the roof. He didn't reply to my question, but I felt his presence shift behind me as he shifted his weight from one side of his body to the other, a sign that he was uncomfortable.

When we arrived at the rooftop, he was the first one out. He quickly began walking to the nearest edge and I ran forward. "Please don't jump down, I just want to talk." I knew that he would be able to survive the impact of a fall from the top of the building, even if it was 10 floors high. His super soldier abilities insured that. I saw him roll his shoulders before turning around, a stern look on his face. The teasing James I had spoken with ten minutes ago had completely disappeared. This was more like the soldier look I had seen him wear so many times before.

"What do you want to ask?" he said, sounding impatient as he took a seat on the bench that leaned against the edge wall of the building. The rooftop itself was beautiful, a small swimming pool surrounded by benches, flowers and deck chairs so that people would be able to come up in summer and relax. It wasn't very warm on the rooftop, but it wasn't freezing either. The sweat from the workout with James made me a little chillier though as the sweat was beginning to cool quickly from the wind.

"Why did you think it was appropriate to ask me to do that?" I asked as I sat down next to him, curling my knees to my chest as I leant against the back of the bench. He leant his elbows against his lower thighs and took a deep breath before putting his head in his hands. His eyes were tightly shut and I could feel the fear resonating from his body.

"We were taught that bodies were built for the purpose of completing a mission, just like a weapon has the function of killing," he began to explain, his voice surprisingly steady for the topic we were discussing. I didn't like how he could remain so calm when talking about a subject so harsh. "To complete the mission and kill the target, you would use your body to manipulate the target and the weapon to eliminate the target." I could hear in his voice how repulsed he was by his actions and I knew by how he had described it that he had obviously slept with targets in order to kill them. "In order to complete missions, soldiers would get injured along the way, which was why it was programmed into my brain that a body is just flesh, tissue and bone no matter which sex that soldier is. Repairs are needed to any soldier in order to keep them functioning. Sexual desires are completely banished so that the soldiers can stay focused."

It was like he was reciting from a book or some kind of HYDRA bible. I was happy that he understood how twisted HYDRA's ways were, but I knew he was still under their influence, mind control or no mind control. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched for a second before relaxing under my touch. No wonder a hug was such a big deal to him. He had probably never hugged someone in his life apart from Steve and that would have been years ago. I stretched my hand across the expanse of his back until it reached the other side before I slowly brought my other arm around him, allowing him to see exactly what I was doing so he could stop me if he wanted. As I hugged him, I lifted one of my hands to play with the hair at the base of his head, hoping that it would soothe him slightly. It seemed to relax him as I felt his muscles become less tense, but not completely off-guard.

"You will never have to follow those rules again," I whispered, placing my forehead against his shoulder and I felt tears build up in my eyes. How could someone live like that for so long? "You will never have to use your body in that degrading way again, okay?" I whispered, wishing that my voice didn't sound so fragile. I was meant to be supporting him and being strong, but I just felt so upset and angry that someone had been so cruel to him. From what I had gathered, James was completely innocent and deserved better. Much better.

I felt a warm finger and thumb gently hook my chin and lift it up, allowing James to fully see my face, which was streaming tears by that point. I looked at his face and felt myself tearing up even more. He was so beautiful and they had tried so hard to hurt him. I hated it. I hated HYDRA. They hurt James and they hurt me. My sobs were quiet as I tried to mask the pain I felt, but there was no use hiding it. Even if I wasn't crying, I knew that James would be able to see straight through me.

"Don't cry," he whispered, something that I had never heard him do before. His voice sounded so delicate and sweet that it just made me cry even more. I saw him freeze for a second as his thumb gently brushed along my jawline and his fingertips ghosted across my neck, making me shiver slightly. He looked at confused as he did earlier as he watched me, our eyes solidly locked this time. I hadn't quite noticed how beautiful he was until that moment. He had such an angelic face that accentuated his eyes and pink lips. I shut my eyes as his hand travelled along my face, slowly coming to a stop as his hand rested against my cheek. I couldn't tell if the movement was 'real' or not, but it felt real. All that talk about bodies being bodies had me confused as to whether he was doing this for me, whether he meant it or whether he had seen it somewhere and was just copying it. It was all so confusing. I would talk with him about it, but not in that moment.

"I'm sorry," I replied, my voice cracking slightly. This was meant to be about him and his problems, but now it was just about me. He shuffled forward and moved to scoop my legs, placing them over his. He pulled my body closer to him and cradled my head in his chest as he moved one of his hands to stroke my hair. This felt so affectionate for him and must've been a big step for him to do something this intimately. It felt really odd. I was pretty sure it was fake, because someone who's mind was so warped can't have suddenly developed feelings for someone they only met the other day.

"It's okay," he said, whispering quietly again to me in a tone that made me feel incredibly relaxed and safe with him. It was odd how I had become so attached to one person, caring about them a lot more than I had intended to. It wasn't a lie that I thought James was very handsome and kind, but I didn't really know him well enough to say that I fancied him or not. I cared about him a lot, but I always grew attached to people very easily, not that I had ever had a boyfriend while in Sokovia. Pietro would've bitten their heads off I did.

"I'm really sorry for what's happened to you," I said after a few minutes, feeling my tears and sobbing die down so that I could actually talk properly. He didn't say anything as his flesh hand slowly stroked up and down the length of my back in a soothing fashion. Why was he taking such a good care of me? That was a question to be asked another time. In that moment, I felt safer than I had in a while.

 **I hope you thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I know it's only short of 4,000 words, but I thought I would give you an update and it kind of finished nicely here. Please give me a review to tell me if you want the pace picking up or whether you would like a slow burn? I love to hear what you guys think of my story. If you reviewed last time, I would love you to review again. I have been writing for like the past FOUR HOURS, so if you could give me a review to read tomorrow that would really brighten up my day. CHEERS!**

 **Also, I've only just finished school, but my mum has cancer at the minute and is losing control of her left side, so I've been using so much of my time helping her out with that. Please don't get angry for me posting late! I really do try my best and I will be much quicker with the next update.**

 **Also also, I haven't proof read this as it is 01:48 in the morning, so if there are any errors, please point them out to me. Thank you!**

 **Review if you can :) I would really appreciate it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Response to reviews:**

 **nana723 - Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad the slow burn is good for you! Thanks for giving support about my mum, your comments meant so much to me. 3**

 **AngelfromBeyondBelow - I'm glad you liked the training and how I write, that's so kind of you. About the slow burn and the history, I just thought it would be right considering all the stuff they've been through, yeah! What you said about my mum and results was lovely, thank you**

 **dream2bawrtr - I get so hyped for your reviews! I love you! Yeah, my mum's doing okay, much better than before. I'm so glad you loved it. Yeah, the sparring was kinda cute ;) I'm so happy you feel that way about my writing. Honestly, you are one amazing reviewer. Thank you!**

 **LilleyBelle - Playful banter is on the up :P Thank you so much for your kind words about my mother by the way, I really appreciate it! 3 Your review made me smile very much!**

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 **AUTHORS NOTE: I know this is shorter than usual. I promise that the next one will be longer. I am really sorry, I just felt like the ending was right.**

 **James POV**

As soon as I heard the click from across the roof, my head shot round to see who was intruding on our moment, my body tensing. Wanda immediately sat up, obviously alert to the door opening as well. It was Steve. Of course it was Steve.

He tentatively looked around the door, spotting us both on the bench. As he walked towards us, I stood up, automatically stepping in front of where Wanda was sat, feeling this urgent need to keep her behind me. "What?"

"I..." he began, briefly pausing to look at the way I was positioned in front of her. "I just came to see if you were okay,"

"I'm fine." I was fed up, annoyed with acting like it was okay for him to do this. I didn't want a personal watch dog all the time. Steve, more than anyone, should've known that I could look after myself. I looked after him for the whole of his teenage hood as well as myself.

"Bucky, I ju-"

"DON'T CALL ME BUCKY!" I shouted, angrily striding towards him. I was at my limit with him. I wasn't the best friend that he once knew, I can hardly remember that person. I was different to the memory he had of me, something that obviously disturbed him. I could see the fear in his eyes, the disappointment, and it made me feel shit about myself all the time.

I blinked when I realised how close I had actually gotten to him, my hatred blinding my willpower to stay still. "My name is James and I don't need a bodyguard," I said in a much calmer voice, but through gritted teeth. I looked at the floor for a few seconds, taking a few breaths to relax me before heading for the elevator. I heard quick steps behind me that I could tell were too light to be Steve's running steps and didn't mind that Wanda was coming after me.

She got to the elevator just in time before the doors shut. I knew they should've opened as she came towards me, but I'm glad JARVIS let her in before shutting the doors to keep a certain someone out. As soon as they shut, I had Wanda's arms wrapped around my middle, her hands smoothly stroking up and down my back. Her hold was loose, but still made me feel _held_ by her. However, I wasn't concentrating on that, I was concentrating on how loud my breathing sounded in the near silent elevator.

I relaxed, Wanda's hands helping me for the most part, and my breathing quickly went to it's normal rate again. "I'm sorry, he's...always checking up on me and sometimes I can't stand it," I said, hoping she would understand where I was coming from.

"He's only looking out for you," she argued and I sighed, pulling away from her hold. Her hands stayed close to me, resting on my hips with the most hesitant of touches.

"And I'm aware of that, but are the morning calls really necessary? The constant hourly check ups? Assessing me while I train you? As well as that..." I shook my head, feeling embarrassed to say what I was going to. "when he tells me that it's 'okay not to understand things'.".

"Maybe I should talk to him," I shook my head, but she persisted. "Then what alternative? I know you don't want to talk to him, so what else do we do?" I wanted her to be wrong, but I knew that she was talking reason as always. That was ironically one of the things I liked about her.

"I'll talk to him, ask him to leave you alone for a few days," she offered, moving her arms away from my hips to place them on her own. "It's a good alternative to having him bug you."

The elevator doors opened and she was first to walk out, brushing past me gently as she did. "It would make him feel better if you said that you could report on what I was acting like, reassuring him that I was okay," I said as I followed her into the living room. She stopped where she was and turned back to look at me, a small smirk gracing her lips.

"You agree with me?" she asked with a smug tone of voice. She looked pleased with herself, like she had accomplished something incredible. It was adorable. Fuck, she was adorable.

"Maybe," I teased quietly, not looking at her eyes as the thoughts went through my head. I felt shy, but also angry. I nearly snarled at the feeling of compassion in my chest, the feeling being so foreign. My cheeks felt hot as I heard her walk away, towards the sofas. I didn't know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

I shook my head and walked towards where she was sat, legs crossed neatly with her hands in her laps, her beautiful soft fingers interlocked. "Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked, her voice very soft and harmless. She turned her head to the side, watching her watch me as I came to sit next to her.

"Go ahead," I replied, relaxing into the corner of the sofa and leaning my arm against the arm rest. Everything was so soft nowadays and I had gotten used to sinking into all the furniture.

"Did you have any...relationships before HYDRA change you? If you don't mind me asking," she questioned in a hesitant voice. I felt a smirk pulling at the corner of my lips.

"You want to know how many people I've slept with?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it like that," she said, blushing slightly. I didn't know why I was blushing. I didn't feel embarrassed, but in another way I did.

"I slept with five women before I was sent off to the army," I frowned, thinking over my memories, before shaking my head. "Wait, three before, two during and then...I don't really know how many after that, but I can't remember any experience I ever had with any of them. Doing anything this time around would be like doing it for the first time."

It was like a blank canvas for me, completely. Sex was foreign and the idea of...doing it genuinely scared me. How could I trust someone that much to touch me, let alone have sex with me? I was one messed up person. "What about you?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck as I glanced over at her. She looked at me sceptically and I smiled at her. "If you don't mind me asking."

She chuckled slightly, but looked nervously at the floor, her eyes shifting around the floor. "If you really want to know, I haven't slept with anyone."

 **Wanda POV**

I was embarrassed. Most people lose their virginity at eighteen. I wasn't much older, but it still felt like I was different compared to everyone else.

"Waiting until after marriage?" he questioned and I shook my head.

"No, I just haven't found the right guy yet," I said, leaning back against the cushions of the sofa. Pietro wouldn't let me out of the house that much, let alone speak to a guy of all people. We didn't even have friends who were girls there. Well...I didn't.

"Oh okay," he replied, looking out at the window to give him something to do. Our conversation came to a silent lull as I stirred the pasta. I didn't need to but I had nothing else to do and we couldn't just stand there.

"Can I ask you something else?" He turned his head at me and frowned for a second, before letting it dissipate. I even wondered afterwards as to whether I had imagined it.

"Yes," he said, looking nervously at me. I smiled to reassure him that he wasn't in trouble, but he only seemed to relax a little. I could tell by the way that his shoulders relaxed and his jaw became less tense, only the small things. There was still an aura around him that made him seem not quite relaxed.

"Hugging me in the way you did on the rooftop, did you see that from a movie or something?" I asked boldly, making sure I didn't hesitate or sound afraid of the question in the hope that he wouldn't be. His face didn't change, the man seeming emotionless, but soon his expression morphed into one of intense thought. He was obviously focusing on his past.

"I had a memory come back to me. A girl in my apartment was crying for some reason and that's how I held her. It just felt..." He cleared his throat and I realised that he wasn't actually going to finish his sentence.

"Right?" I asked, supplementing something for him to finish his sentence with.

"Yeah," he answered absentmindedly.

"Okay," I responded quietly. It was just a memory.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped. I didn't take joy in holding you like that if that's what you're wondering," he replied anxiously, almost sounding robotic in the process. Didn't take joy in it?

"You didn't take joy in it?" I asked curiously.

"No, apart from that I was glad that it stopped you from being upset and was a comfort to you, ma'am." For some reason, the addition of 'ma'am' made his sentence made him sound more Brooklyn than ever.

"Me too." I said, watching as his eyes flickered from my eyes to the floor to the window and then back to me and then back to the floor again. The tension between us felt so awkward and I was racking my brain to think about what could settle it. "Have you ever played Monopoly?"

 **James POV**

We had been playing this game for the past two hours and some how I was winning. I didn't know how, the only sign of that being from the sad pout Wanda had on her face.

She rolled and moved her ornament, which she had chosen to be a shoe, to the 'GO TO JAIL' square. She groaned and moved her token across to the appropriate space.

"That's five times that you've landed there, isn't it?" I asked, smiling at her with fake innocence. She glared at me, but I could tell from the small upturns of her lips that she wasn't actually made.

"James Buchannon Barnes, I hate you so damn much right now," she said and threw the dice at me. One of the clinked against my metal arm and dropped onto the board.

"Ow," I deadpanned, picking both die up and rolling them in my hands. I couldn't help but smile at how cute she was being. She was stubborn and obviously didn't like losing. _Was she like this with all games or was it just Monopoly?_

"Maybe if the dice hurt you that much, it should be your new sparring partner,"

"I've got a good one already," I told her, hoping it would make her feel better for not beating me in training to day. I hoped that she wouldn't take it personal. Not many people did beat me when it came to sparring.

I saw her cheeks tinge pink as she took fifty pounds from her money and placed it in the middle, forfeiting her turn in order to get out of jail. I inwardly cheered as I realised I was finally getting the hang of the game. I also inwardly cheered at making her flush, but I didn't know why I cheered in my head about that.

As I took the dice, I saw the embarrassed look on Wanda's face turn into a shy one as she held her knees to her chest and kept her eyes on the floor.

"What's wrong, Wanda?" I asked, trying not to get distracted by the number of W's used in the interrogative. Her eyes flitted up to watch me and I smiled, in which I hoped was a soft smile so she wouldn't feel threatened.

"You think I'm a good sparring partner?" Her voice was quiet and shy and I tried not to smile at how sweet she was being. There was something about the way she looked so innocent that made me want to tell her that everything was fine and that there was nothing wrong with her, even though I knew she thought otherwise.

"You're great," I said, nodding to show I was serious. "Nobody beats me, so don't take it personally."

I immediately regretted saying what I did as she glared at me, before lifting her face away from the cover of her knees. "We'll see about that," she said, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap.

I chucked and shook the dice in my hands, trying not to think about how cute she was when she tried to act big.

 **2 hours later**

"My God, you're still here?" Me and Wanda had been in the living room for the past four hours, trying to beat each other at Monopoly. How was the game lasting this long? I looked up at the person who had asked the question: Tony.

The billionaire and I didn't have the best relationship, especially since he found out the truth about who really killed his parents. However, he did eventually understand that I was under the influence of HYDRA's programming and couldn't control my actions. After Steve and I fully explained the situation to him, he seemed to cope a lot better with the situation, especially after I shared how close Howard and I were during the war time.

The game went on for a further five minutes before I looked at how much money each of us had left. I was going to win. I knew that it was based on luck but I still had a 500 dollar bill on my cash stash. So, I decided to do something that would probably save my life and make Wanda feel better.

"I'm done," I said, putting my hands up to plead my innocence. "I can't do this anymore, you win."

Wanda stared at me in surprised, her hair slightly tasseled from where she had been playing with it every now and again with her fingers during parts of the game. "What?" She asked, looking gobsmacked that I had actually submitted.

"You win," I said simply, holding out my hand to shake hers. She still look amazed as she shook mine, mouth open slightly as she stared.

As she pulled away, she put her hands in the air and shouted "FUCK YEAH!"

My eyes went wide at Wanda swearing, something that I had never seen her do before, but I couldn't help but laugh at the girl. She was fantastic. A perfect mixture of funny and serious at the perfect times.

I looked over to Steve who had been observing our game for the past hour while he sketched something. His eyes were wide, almost shocked that Wanda had used such a rude word. I hadn't minded him being there, even after the argument we had that morning.

"Wanda!" He scolded and she couldn't help but laugh when she looked over at his serious face.

"Sorry," she said, laughing to herself, not looking sorry at all. She turned to me and I tried to ignore the curious look she had on her face as I started packing away the multitude of hotels we had placed on the board. "What happened to 'nobody beats me'?" Her voice went deep and rough when she repeated the words I had said many hours ago.

"Is that supposed to be an impression of me?" I asked skeptically, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. I didn't actually sound like that, did I?

"Just answer the question," she replied with a smirk.

"Wanda Maximoff, you are the first to beat me," I admitted, smiling at her as I folded up the board and put it in the box. She took the box from me and stood up.

"Woah that is something to put on my CV," she said, walking to put the box back in the games cupboard on the other side of the room.

"Good game?" I knew Steve was trying to sound innocent with his question but it wasn't working. I had known the guy for too long and even though we weren't on best friend terms, I still knew his question meant a lot more than it seemed. I was angry at him still for earlier, but decided to put it behind me. I would deal with it later. I was good at compartmentalisation.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at my fellow super soldier. He laughed and closed his sketch book, putting his thumb over the top cover.

"I just mean that you two seem to be getting along nicely." It didn't sound suggestive, but I saw the cheeky look in his eyes. He was checking up on me, again. I sighed and decided to answer his question regardless. Something about me felt forgiving for the jerk, but I didn't want him checking up on me after our game. Wanda would talk to him and it would all be okay.

"Yeah, Wanda's..." I took a long time to choose the right word so that Steve wouldn't be too suspicious of our relationship but also wouldn't think we were getting too close. Wanda and I were friends, that was all, and I wouldn't want Steve thinking any different, especially if that thinking lead to giving me a different partner. "...good." I settled on finally. Good was...good.

I looked curiously at his sketch pad, finding a sudden interest in that instead of talking about mine and Wanda's relationship. It felt too personal to discuss with anyone else. "What were you drawing?"

He shrugged, picking up his coat, and I knew he wouldn't answer my question seriously. "Oh nothing," he said with a smirk. "Just two bored idiots playing Monopoly."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically and he chuckled as he walked towards the kitchen, leaving me in the living room by myself as I awaited Wanda's return. Thinking about it, I wasn't sure it Wanda was even coming back from putting the game away. Surely she wouldn't just abandon me after that?

My queries were answered when she bounded through the door with the biggest grin on her face and came to sit down next to me on the sofa. "You look happy," I told her, noting the way her grin hadn't stop since she had re-entered.

"I just beat the unbeatable," she said as a response and nudged my shoulder, making sure not to be too rough with me even though she could be. I tense slightly as she slipped her hand into my own, her slender fingers making their way around my palm.

"Was your conversation with Steve okay?" she asked. I took a breathe as I felt her thumb stroke my skin. Her fingers were ticklish against my skin, my hand shaking slightly from her touch. I felt her eyes on me, but I was focusing too much on the way her hands held mine.

"Yeah, but he was checking up on me still. Is it still okay for you to talk to him later?" The words came out rapidly, like I had no stop button until I reached the end of my question. I was too focused on our hands to focus on my words.

"Yeah, I told you it's fine," she replied, her fingers squeezing my hand tightly. I felt my heart flutter in my chest and immediately stood up as if it were an automatic reaction. She looked up at me with concern.

"We should probably...go and do some more training," I suggest, feeling my jaw become tenser as I spoke. She huffed a laugh and shook her head, pulling a fake sad face. I struggled to not smile at the amusing sight. I liked her playful side.

"I agree, but my muscles do not," she said, dramatically. She pushed her face into the sofa cushion and groaned, letting her body dramatically fall off of the sofa and be dragged down to the floor by gravity. She was splayed out, like a starfish, on the ground and I couldn't help but smile at her.

She was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. As she opened her eyes, I walked round so I was standing in between her legs. "Let's get some food instead then," I offered, also offering her my hand to help her up and she smiled, extending her palm for me to take.

I grasped onto it and lifted her up, a little too quickly as she stumbled forward slightly. One of her hands immediately went to my chest to stop her from toppling any further forward. "Thanks," she mumbled as she pushed away from me and started to walk towards the kitchen. I subconsciously smiled to myself and followed her out of the room.

 **Hey, I know this is short. It isn't because I've done it late - I just thought it was a nice place to end really.**

 **For those who were interested, my mum has made a lot of progress. Her left hand side has dramatically improved after the limited time her body is supposed to heal, so my mother has literally conquered the impossible. We are moving to Brighton as I am going to Sussex University soon, which is exciting! Cannot wait to go! We are all moving out there in order to be close to family for mum's sake. Thank you for all the wonderful support.**

 **Please give me a review for this chapter if you want, I always appreciate them and reply back to what you have said. Thank you muchly. YOUR REVIEWS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Response to reviews:**

 **dream2bawrtr - Thank you so much. I know, I thought it would be cute for him to let her win. I don't think Steve will ever like people swearing around him. That's so much :) I'm really glad you enjoy my story so much. I'm sorry for updating so late!**

 **fitzsimmons27 - Thank you for the kind words about my mother. Thank you for being so lovely to me! I love them so much! Writing about them is such a joy!**

 **Sarah - I'm so sorry for the long wait, my life has been sooooo busy at the moment. Oooo, talking about Pietro? I shall write it down! Thank you for the suggestion.**

 **AngelfromBeyondBelow - Oh my gooodddnnneesss, your review was so long! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Woah, I love how in depth you have gone! I am loving the comments you're giving to me. Haha! Monopoly is always competitive. I really love the idea of them being together, but I also love Wanda and Vision together and don't mind them in the MCU.**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - Thank you my deeaarrr!**

 **James POV**

 _Wanda Maximoff, one of the newest known additions to the Avengers, has not been seen since the news of her torture in the prison known as the 'Raft'. Will we ever hear her side of the story or will it remain a myste-_

The television in the kitchen switched off and I silently thanked Clint for doing so. Wanda didn't need to hear what Everhart was saying. She seemed like an utter bitch from what I had seen. "Thank you," I heard her mumble from her spot beside the oven, waiting for the pizza that we were going to share to cook. Wanda had the option of what we were going to eat, promising that next time we would get my choice. I think 'spinach and ricotta pasta' was on one of my lists.

Steve picked up a rice pack from the fridge and left, not without sparing a glance at me. I quietly growled, part of me hoping he would notice my frustration with his constant need to keep tabs on me. I was glad that he was leaving us in the kitchen to make our food though.

"Pizza for lunch? Not exactly a healthy choice Maximoff," Clint teased, poking his tongue out at the young woman. She glared back at him.

"Like you can talk, you eat a shit tonne of food." I was getting used to the slightly foul mouth that Wanda had. She wasn't a big swearer, definitely not as bad as Stark, but it didn't bother me. Part of me almost liked her more for it.

"I'm eating the pain away," he said, dramatically. The toaster pinged and Clint grabbed the slices that came out of it, spreading it with Nutella. I definitely knew it was Nutella, the spread being too famous for me to miss in my years of hiding.

"Unbelievable..." she muttered, shaking her head as she watched the archer leave. He winked at her as he took a bite of his toast and walked out of the room. Clint was a nice person - dedicated and strong. He stood for what he believed in. I'm not sure whether I could be like him as I didn't have a strong belief. My belief in God was long gone now and there was nothing tethering me to the Avengers apart from the need to help people. Perhaps I could use that to push myself.

"Are you sure you are okay with pizza?" Wanda asked as she pushed herself up onto the countertop. It was only then that I really noticed how small she was. She had strong muscles, but the move almost looked effortless. There wasn't much to actually push up onto the countertop.

"Pizza is fine," I reassured her for the twelfth time. The frown on her face slowly disappeared as she nodded, looking back to observe the pizza. I took a moment to really look at her. She always had a natural appearance, never wearing a lot of makeup, if any at all. She was genuinely beautiful,

"Do you fancy sparring in a bit?" I asked, feeling my body itching to do something. I never felt like I could relax, always needing to keep myself busy and do something. I saw her looked at me with slight disappointment.

"I have to meet Natasha and talk to her about what I'm going to say to the press. She said it would take a while." I nodded, feeling slightly solemn about missing time with her. I enjoyed sparring with her. She was an easy target, not strong enough to fight a proper battle with assistance from her powers, but I liked teaching her new skills and helping her. It felt good to help someone after so long doing nothing.

"Perhaps later after our session?" she suggested with a glint of hope in her voice. I looked up at her and smiled softly. She was very kind to me, always. She hadn't been the first to show me kindness since I had been here, but I felt like hers mattered the most. She always seemed like she meant it, not being patronising or overly sympathetic. I liked that about her - she was honest.

She checked on the pizza, moving her head away to avoid the steam that rose from the oven. She looked over her shoulder at me, her hair flicking round to one side of her neck as she did. "I think it's done," she said, grinning as she grabbed a large plate and slid it out of the oven.

As I went to grab the cutlery, I asked her a question that had been on my mind. "Why pizza?" It wasn't a very important question, but I had wondered why the prospect of pizza had her so excited.

"Electricity in Sokovia wasn't very good," she explained, getting a pizza slicer from one of the drawers to cut it up. I smiled at the way her accent strengthened when she spoke. It seemed to do that when she spoke about her old home.

"I cooked pizza whenever I had the chance as it was one of my favourite foods before the experiments began. I cook it as much as I can now that I have freedom." Even though she referenced the darkness of her past, she swiftly moved past it, eyes barely tinged with sadness. They still tinged though.

"What are you going to do in the meantime?" she asked, putting four slices of the pizza onto my plate. I stared at the slice, feeling quite foreign around the food. I'd had pizza before, but I didn't let myself have it often. It was really unhealthy for the body, a food style that I wasn't conditioned to eat. I saw it as a delicacy as pizza was a very tasty food.

"I haven't got anything planned." _Like I ever do._ "I'll go to the gym, probably," I added, ignoring the cutlery I laid out as I picked up a slice of pizza with my fingers. I was glad to see that Wanda used her fingers as well to eat. My eyes widened as I watched her take a bite of the pizza, eating about three-quarters of the slice. Wow. I smirked at her...boldness?

"D'you know what?" she asked, still chewing the pizza slice. She noticed me smirking at her eating and paused for a moment, before putting a hand over her mouth to finish her mouthful. She raised one finger as she spoke."I'm making a rule," she stated, crossing her arms and I refrained from smiling at how sweet the image was. She was short, not incredibly short, but short enough to look a little funny when crossing her arms. "I banning you from the gym until our spar session later."

"Oh yeah?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow, challenging her, but she stayed firm with her decision, crossing her arms tighter across her chest. I failed to ignore the cleavage that was bunched together caused by her arms crossing her chest. I didn't look for more than a millisecond or two, finding it just another aspect of the human body. Men were meant to find it sexy and stimulating, but I didn't quite feel that yet. It was still just a body to me. It was one of the many qualities that I wished hadn't changed over the course of becoming the Winter Soldier. I viewed people differently, their physical forms only being used as a weapon for completing a mission. I tensed my jaw, pushing the thoughts from my mind as I focused on what she was talking about. Being attracted to people wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities.

"And I want you to do something for me," she said softly, looking up at me with wishful eyes, her hands now on the table. She was fiddling with her delicate fingers, picking at the red nail varnish that was slowly flaking away.

"Which is?" I prompted, raising an eyebrow and hoping the suggestion wasn't going to be too wild.

"I want you to write down a list of things that you love, indulgences that you used to allow yourself, but haven't allowed yourself in a long time. Then I want you to go and do one of those things." That seemed tame enough. Being who I was, I didn't have time for self-indulgence. I used to procrastinate when I was younger by bunking from school to do things I enjoyed, Steve coming with me for most of them.

"Just one?" I could probably think of more than one thing to do, but it wasn't the quantity of ideas I was worried about. The lifestyle I had been forced to have never allowed me to relax, not even for a second. I hardly slept and kept a regime. Ever since Wanda walked into my life, she had been changing the timetable I had. It was odd to have someone do things spontaneously rather than stick to a routine as routine was my life. I had a feeling that the mind games and playing Monopoly would only be the start of it.

"I want you to make a long list," she instructed me. "Only do one for today, okay soldier?" she asked in a teasing tone, the corner of her lips smirking up into a smile. She bit her lip and I could tell it was to keep herself from smiling even more. There was something about the look on her face that made me want to smile back at her. I felt part of me automatically quench the feeling that rose in my chest.

"Okay, Maximoff," I replied, putting my hands up and widening my eyes. It was odd to feel comfortable with someone that I had known for such a short amount of time. Lately, I had been feeling guilty for feeling closer to Wanda than I did with Steve. Perhaps that was just because of the memories that were lost in my brain.

 **Wanda POV**

I looked down at my watch and felt the smile on my face fade. _Shit._ "I'm going to be late for Natasha," I said. I felt bad every time that I left him, not knowing whether it was because I felt sorry for him or I missed his company. Most likely, the answer was both. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

He looked up at me and I saw a little disappointment in his eyes. _Not helping me leave you, Soldier._ "You'll do the list, right?" I asked, hoping to distract his mind away from me leaving.

"You cooked a meal for me, I'll make a list for you," he reasoned with a shrug. He turned back to the table like he was grumpy with me for some reason. I had shit to do.

"You're not doing it for me," I insisted with an irritated glare. He turned his head sideways to look up at me and glared back at me for a second before showing a small smile to me.

"Fine," he said and then turned back to stare at a spot on the table in front of him. I took that as my signal to leave. I'd kept close to him recently and he was probably adjusting to that, so I let him have his space when he was giving signs.

I sighed as I made my way towards Natasha's office. I knew we were going to talk about Lagos and the thought of discussing what happened was scaring the shit out of me. She was going to be disappointed and I hated disappointing people. Part of that was from HYDRA, the training and not achieving goals they set. The one person that never expected anything from me was Pietro.

Before I could delve any further into those thoughts, I arrived. Good thing too. i didn't need a nervous breakdown or anxiety attack before a conversation with the smoothest woman on Earth. I knocked on her door, checking my watch to make sure I was on time. I breathed out. I was one minute early.

The door opened and there she stood, the Black Widow. She was in her suit, the curves of her body clearly displayed by the skin tight material. I was jealous. I was thin and lanky, whereas she was strong and muscular. I felt like a twig that could easily be squashed by any member of the team. I felt like the weak one, even though James opposed that idea.

"Maximoff, come in," she said politely, holding the door open for me as I walked in to take a seat. One thing about Natasha is that she was a blank page, barely any emotion to create her. Her smile could be genuine...or not.

"Thanks," I mumbled quietly and took a seat opposite the desk. I breathed quietly so that she wouldn't hear me as she walked to sit down.

"Are you coping?" The question stumped me a little. From experience with Natasha, I knew how she didn't care much for other people, apart from Clint. She was probably asking to do a small psych evaluation on me.

"A little shell-shocked still, but I'm managing," I answered as smoothly as possible. Her eyes didn't move, but I could tell she was analysing me. That's how I always felt when Natasha was watching me and I could never relax.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," she replied as she moved some files on her desk. They were newspaper articles and after looking at them briefly, I noticed one word that frequently occurred - 'Lagos'. "Have you been reading the news?"

"Yes."

"And what do you think of it?"

"Not a fan." I hadn't read that many articles, not wanting to upset myself. My mind was still heavy with guilt from the deaths I had caused. 26. There were 26 dead, innocent human beings who were on my conscience, as well as Pietro.

"Me neither, that's why I would like it to change," she said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. "Now, I would like you to tell me what you would like to happen, then I'm going to tell you what is going to happen," she asserted, folding her arms over her chest.

"What?" I queried, confused as to what she was talking about. Her eyes rolled in her head and her lips twitched in annoyance.

"How would you like the Lagos situation to be dealt with in the press and how would you like your foreseeable future with the Avengers to pan out?" she clarified, her face expressing the boredom she felt. I could tell that she didn't want to be there, but that was no different to a lot of situations Natasha was involved in.

I didn't have time to think about what I wanted while I was in custody. I had already given up on my life, feeling little emotion at all, if any. I never thought I could truly feel depression after my time at HYDRA. I was wrong. It felt so odd to feel so numb again.

After seeing some news reports, I had started to think about what I wanted. I wanted people to understand the truth, how I had been held captive by the government. Perhaps telling the public about my torture would ease my conscience about the guilt I felt over the deaths I caused.

"I don't want the media to blame me for the situation, even though it's partly my fault. I'm not very comfortable with talking in front of people. My...anxiety might be quite bad. Maybe...another Avenger could explain what happened or security footage? With my future, I want to help people and staying with the Avengers seems like the best way to do that."

She nodded once, understanding what I was saying. Her wooden personality unnerved me, which I'm sure she knew. That was the persona of the Black Widow after all. "This is how things are going to work," she announced. "You are going to do a press conference tomorrow at 11am where you will have time to explain what happened to you. We will show footage of what happened i-"

"I-i'll...be doing the conference?" I questioned, the thought of doing it by myself making my anxiety creep up my spine. I clenched my jaw as I felt my chest tighten, forcing the feelings of apprehension away.

"Yes," she answered, simply. "As I was saying, we will show footage of what happened to you in the facility as you talk. As for the Avengers, you are correct. Until you are MIA, die or retire, the Avengers will support you as long as you want to be with us."

"Okay," I agreed, clearing my throat as I sat up a little taller. "What do I need to say?"

"I'll give you a script. You can adapt it as you please, but I will need to check it before you go on air," she replied. I imagined it - the cameras, the press, the loud build up of questions. They would tower over me like giants and I wouldn't get out without being crushed.

"Will you be there with me?" She might not be there _for_ me, but it would be useful to have her there with me. I had seen the interviews that she had been involved with in the past and I understood how well she could deal with the press.

She nodded. "If you want me there, I can be there physically and verbally if you feel there are questions you don't want to or feel like you can't answer," she proposed, clasping her hands together as she spoke.

We sat in silence for a few moments as I thought about what to say. I would consider her suggestion over later, but for now, I wanted to get out of her office to get on with my day. I didn't like talking about business for too long. "Was there anything else?"

"Yes," she said, moving her chair forward slightly. "I would like you to read over some of the worst things people have said about you." She collected the documents on her desk together and slid them over to me. "Come up with responses to the types of questions that people will ask you." She stood up from her chair and walked to the door, not leaving any room for arguments. _That's the end of that conversation then._

She opened the door for me and I smiled politely at her as I walked through it. I didn't expect anything else to be said or done, but she quickly grabbed my arm. I drew in a breath as soon as she made the contact, bad memories rushing through my head as I felt her hand gripping me. It was light, but the connotations of torture were still there.

I painfully and quickly forced the thoughts out of my head to look at her in question. She drew her lips into a thin line before her eyes flickered to the floor and she spoke. "I didn't mean to sound cruel." Her voice was quieter than usual and I knew that this was a side of Natasha that was rarely seen - the vulnerable side.

"You and I share similar pasts," she continued, her eyes coming up to meet mine. Her gaze seemed much softer than when we were having our conversation in the office. "I want you to know that I'm like this because of my history and that it's not personal. The unemotive feelings I possess are conditioned."

"Like Barnes?" I questioned, knowing that they had a similar history.

She nodded. "Exactly, though his conditioning was less intense than mine."

I frowned at her statement, not realising that they went through different experimentation. She noticed my confusion and explained what she meant. "They didn't remove my memories, only subjected me to feeling numb." She was speaking like it was normal and it sickened me. What we all went through wasn't normal. "HYDRA's conditioning made him forget his memories, but not his emotional states. His emotions of anger would allow him to complete missions, so they didn't need to change those, only his head when he remembered after a certain number of months. The Red Room was a different division that focused on the person's emotions. Keeping a level head was the priority for the Red Room, as well as seduction. That's why I don't usually exuberate emotions."

"I understand," I replied, nodding at her explanation. It was new information to take in, knowing that they had different treatment. I didn't know which was worse, having to re-learn memories or re-learn emotions.

I felt guilt stir in my head again. Perhaps I shouldn't have pushed him like I did when I suggested hugging him. _'He wasn't complaining'_ I reasoned in my head. I nodded and Natasha and she nodded back to me, both of us coming to an understanding in that moment.

I walked away from her door, planning to go and speak to Steve. I was slipping the documents into my jacket pocket as she called out to me. "Watch your back with him, Maximoff," she warned. I stopped where I was, but didn't bother to turn around. "We may not always be here to have it."

I looked round to see the door close, but no traces of her. She had retreated back to her office. I didn't know exactly what she meant, but I didn't like how she said it. She warned me like he was a burden or he should be something I stay away from.

I knew he was dangerous, but her warning only made me want to get closer to him in order to fix him. That wasn't the only reason why I wanted to stay close, however. I enjoyed his company.

I was still standing in the corridor as I thought to myself. "Steve," I reminded myself under my breath in order to get me moving. "JARVIS, where is Steve?"

"He is currently in his office, Miss Maximoff," he answered, causing me to roll my eyes.

"My name is Wanda, JARVIS? W-A-N-D-A spells Wanda, not 'Miss Maximoff'," I replied with a slight smirk. I didn't hate the AI, but I hated being called by my full name. Natasha was the exception as I would never tell her to do something.

"Of course, Wanda," he replied, his manner always polite. As I knocked on the door to Steve's office, I wondered where the origin to the name JARVIS had come from. JARVIS...Jam And...Raddish...Very...Ignorant...Stark? My train of thought was cut off when Steve opened the door and smiled when he realised it was me.

"Wanda? What a pleasant surprise," he greeted, polite as ever.

I smiled back at him. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something concerning James?" The smile on his face quickly dissolved into a half-concerned frown. Bless him, Steve was always overly concerned for others.

"Is he alright?" he asked quickly, looking down each end of the corridor as if to check if he were there.

"He's fine," I assured him. "I just needed to talk to you." He didn't seem convinced but allowed me through the door anyway. His desk was much neater than Natasha's, the desk completely clear apart from a bundle of post-it notes, a stationary pot and the computer screen. I didn't sit down, not wanting to make our conversation too formal. I felt like more of a friend with Steve than I did with Natasha.

I perched on the edge of his desk as he walked to stand in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest, much like Natasha earlier. Maybe it was a spy thing? The only difference was that Steve didn't have a bountiful supply of cleavage that seemed to become endless when he did the action. "What is it?" he prompted, the concern on his face not fading since I had mentioned James.

I took a breath before I told him the truth. "I think it would benefit James if you kept your distance from him for a while." My words hung in the air for a few moments, a silent and tense space between us that made my stomach churn. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"What?" he asked, his voice filled with undertones of anger. I took a small breath in and focused on getting the point across rather than feeling afraid of Steve.

"James is healing at the moment. I am providing him with answers by helping his memories return to him, but pushing him and constantly watching over him is not going to help with the situation," I explained. Steve huffed a breath as he stared at me. I could see the recognition in his eyes, not that he necessarily wanted to feel it. He knew that I was telling the truth and that he was in the wrong with what he was doing.

He looked towards the windows of the room that overlooked some of the training grounds and walked towards it. "I know," he admitted quietly, perhaps not even meant for me to hear it, but I did. He knew that he what he was doing was wrong, but couldn't help himself. James was practically his brother, but he wasn't actually doing what was best for him.

"So why do you watch the surveillance footage of him?" It was a guess, but I knew the position of power that Steve was in. He would've undoubtedly looked at the cameras to make sure his best friend was doing okay. Even though it wasn't a physical looming presence, the stalking still wasn't healthy for Steve.

He turned himself round to look at me, eyebrows pushed into a hard frown. "How do you know about that?" he asked, a slight blush forming on his cheekbones from embarrassment.

"I didn't. It was just a guess." I could tell he was a little angry at me, but the smallest smirk appeared on his lips that made me realise that he was a little impressed with my deduction skills.

"I hate you," he grumbled, shaking his head in annoyance. I just smiled back.

"No, you don't," I corrected, pushing off of the table to face him. _Back down to business._ "His recovery is important to both of us, but he can't recover unless you give him the space he needs. Let him come to you." What I was asking wasn't going to be easy for Steve, but I believed that he had enough willpower. He nodded, but his gaze didn't move from their space on the floor between us.

"I'm sorry," he confessed, looking up to my eyes. He obviously felt slightly guilty for pushing his best friend in this way as he only wanted the best for James. "I didn't mean to hurt him." His voice sounded pained and he was mumbling his words. I stepped forward to put my hand on his shoulder, rubbing my thumb across part of his collarbone in an effort to support him. He held too much weight on his back, too much guilt. Steve never gave himself a break and I knew that he never would. I was worried that James was the same.

"You don't need to apologise to me or him for what's happened. It's done now and I think it's best if you just let him have space now." He simply nodded again and I thought it would be best to leave the conversation at that. "I'll see you at dinner?" I asked, sliding my hand from his shoulder and taking a step back.

"Of course," he replied, sounding a little distracted, but I knew he would be fine. "Thank you," he added, giving me a small smile. I smiled in return, not really knowing what to say in response. I wasn't very good at accepting compliments. I left his office and zipped up my jacket, feeling the documents Natasha had given me pressing against my side. I sighed to myself as I walked towards the bedrooms. It was time to read through the shit storm that had occurred in the media over the past week.

 **PLEASE ALL READ:**

 **Dear readers,**

 **I feel so loved by all of you that follow me and be aware that this isn't me saying I'm never writing again, don't worry. This is an apology. Recently, not going to lie here, I have been through a ridiculous amount of shit, including moving into University on my own and coping with being away from my ill mother. I'm constantly worried about her. I promise that I am going to try and update more often.**

 **Posting a chapter on here is a really accomplishing feeling and knowing that people read it is amazing. If you don't review already, please review because it gives me so much motivation to keep writing. I have 72 followers, which is fucking insane by the way! Thank you to all 72 of you, because you keep me going at times when I can't keep myself going. Fanfiction is honestly such a big part of my life, so thank you so much for reading my romantic tales that are 100% not realistic, but are 100% enjoyable...hopefully anyway :)**

 **Today, tell someone that you love them, whether it be a family member, a friend or the person you've had a crush on for the past three years (like any of us would have the balls to do that). LOVE YOU ALL!**

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	9. Chapter 9

**I know, I'm late. I've been focusing on my mental health recently, so sorry for not updating, but I'm not pressuring myself to write. I know it makes for better stories.**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **AngelfromBeyondBelow - Thank you so much. I'm glad you like the dynamics. Yeah, I like that there is a mix in dynamics between them. I agree, I like to believe that she is openminded to James' situation and knows that there is nothing that he can do to hurt her physically, because she can always stop him. I'm glad you think she provides good support. Awwww, I love how kind you are. Thank you for always reviewing. I would love to see what you think of this chapter.**

 **Sarah - I'm really glad you liked the story. I appreciate the review. Can't wait to see what you think of this.**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - I feel Natasha is a very cold person sometimes and even though I don't highlight this in my story, I highlight it in my others. Thank you for the review though.**

 **James POV**

Wanda hadn't been gone for too long, but it was nearly time for our session. While she had been gone, I wrote down things I used to enjoy on the list. I didn't know where to start, most of my memories from that time very faint, so I took to the internet and researched the types of things that occurred in the 1920s.

I clicked on the first article and had to take a breath before reading. The life I was going to read was meant to be behind me. Whenever I was brainwashed, it taught the Soldier to live in the present. I ground my teeth and told myself to stop being so weak.

 _Economic, political and technological developments heightened the popularity of jazz music in the 1920s, a decade of unprecedented economic growth and prosperity in the United States._

I shut my eyes and did my best to set my mind back. I could hear the faint rhythm of...something. It was a piano and in the background were clarinets. Perhaps I was making the piece of music up...perhaps not. I picked up my pen and wrote 'jazz music' down in a notebook I found in one of my drawers when I got here. I read on.

 _Professional football and basketball were minor sports. North Carolina followed most of these trends, although professional boxing and horse racing events were not widely held in the state because of their association with gambling. Baseball was very popular in North Carolina in the 1920s._

Even though I wrote 'baseball' and 'boxing' on the notepad, I decided to change my search the 1930s instead of the 1920s. I was born in 1917, but I would've been too young for 1920's trends.

 _Radio and motion picture technology allowed access to new sources of entertainment. Movies were very popular, often attracting 50 million viewers to theatres per week._

I wondered whether that was what I did each week, go to a cinema with a new dame each week. 'cinema' was the next one on the list.

 _Listeners enjoyed music, baseball games or other programmes on home radios. More than 12 million households owned a radio by the end of the decade, according to the History channel._

The last radio I listened to recently was I had stolen from the police. Modern music was played frequently on radios and I hated how it sounded. I added 'listen to the radio'.

 _Telephones also became more readily available in homes across the country, as chatting with friends or family on the phone became a pleasant pastime._

Part of me remembered the way that it sounded, how an old phone would ring in its shrilling bell tone rather than the modern quieter ringtone or song.

 _The invention of the Model T Ford triggered a car manufacturing boom during the late 1920s, and other models quickly followed. Travel by car quickly became a hobby of the 1920s, as people were able to pursue their own interests in the privacy of their own vehicle. There were more than 23 million cars in America by the end of the 1920s. Most were owned by middle- and upper-class_ families _reports._

There was a faded memory in the back of my mind. I heard the echoing sound of a woman introducing the show.

 _'Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Howard Stark!' she announced._

 _Stark jumped onto the stage, a large smile on his face as he waltzed across the floor. He gave one of the assistants his hat and brought her in for a kiss in front of the whole audience. Some people whooped and the rest applauded louder, his lifestyle being accepted by the world._

 _He wiped his lips with a handkerchief as the ladies walked across to the side of the stage next to the car._

 _'Ladies and Gentleman, what if I told you that in a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all.' People gasped as the assistants removed the wheels of the car. 'With Stark Revideent Reversion technology, you'll be able to do just that,' he said as he flicked a switch._

 _The car whirred and slowly began to rise. "Holy cow..."_

I gasped and clenched the table as the memory stopped. It was more like I stopped the memory. I couldn't remember how long it had been since a memory had lasted that long.

"Holy cow..." I whispered to myself, repeating the phrase I had said all those years ago. I remembered. It was now clearly stuck in my mind, every single detail. The bright redness of the car, the one shining light down on the stage and the green and blue colours of the backdrop. Steve and I went to the 1943 Stark Expo and I saw a car begin to fly.

Howard Stark and his wife were two of the only people that I do remember killing. Perhaps it was due to the friend I ended up having with him during the war. I sighed and decided to discuss it with Wanda now rather than end up tormenting myself about the situation. I went back to searching the internet.

 _Prohibition - or the ban on alcohol - was perhaps one of the most defining moments of the 1920s. The ban had such unexpected consequences that consumption and production became one of the decade's most notorious hobbies. When alcohol usage became illegal in America on January 19, 1920, supporters hoped the ban would encourage buyers to instead spend money on food, entertainment, clothing and hobbies. However, the ban on alcohol made drinking even more popular, and many Americans went to great lengths to find ways to obtain or make their own alcohol. Former saloons turned into underground speakeasies, and people from all classes began co-mingling in secret to enjoy recreational drinking._

I hadn't been drunk for so long that I had almost forgotten the feeling. Someone mentioned that there was elixir he had that had allowed Steve to get drunk. I had never seen him drunk thinking about it. I didn't know if I wanted to drink that much or not. I wrote down 'get drunk?' on the paper and made sure that the question mark was large.

 _Women felt less dependent on men than in previous generations, and many began to dramatically shift their style of dress and choice of hobbies._

I was glad that women were independent. Women deserved just as many rights as men did. Wanda was a good example of someone who was independent. She wasn't dating anyone, at least to my knowledge she wasn't. She had shown to me that she could stand up for herself. It was almost inspiring to know a woman so empowering. Unlike Natasha, she had a heart. I didn't believe in souls, but she seemed to had the purest of all the people I'd met. She was kind.

 _The term flapper was used to describe women comfortable with flaunting not only political_ _freedoms but more provocative styles of dress and movement. Young single women increasingly frequented dance halls or nightclubs._

I remembered the movements of dancing but also felt like it was a completely foreign field to me. I couldn't remember a specific example, but I remember the feeling of a woman pressed against my chest, their hands around my neck and shoulders...their lips pressed against my neck. I shut my eyes, the feeling that really was foreign return to me. I hadn't experienced arousal in so long, not since before the experimentation, but I recognised it immediately. It was an old feeling that wasn't current. It was difficult to explain how I felt.

I ground my teeth as I felt electricity in my chest. It spread through my body and suddenly I had a memory flash before me. A woman was beneath me, both of us on a bed. I was wearing boxers and she was in her underwear. I could hear the sounds of her girly giggles and moans as I kissed down her naked neck towards the valley of her breasts. Her skin was pale and smooth against my fingertips. It was like every feature was blurry apart from the feel of her skin and general shape of her body.

I felt a sadness in my chest, a feeling of missing an old life, but I also felt my blood rush down to somewhere in particular. I almost gasped to the surprise of having that feeling back, not having felt it in so long. I picked up the pen and scrawled down 'dance with a dame' before I paced towards the shower.

I pushed the dirty thoughts out of my head knowing that I didn't need that distraction in my life. I coped without while being the soldier and the two years of hiding. I didn't need it now. I turned on the cold tap and began running the shower. "Dammit," I whispered, stepping in to cool my body off as well as my thoughts.

It felt like I was remembering past feelings, not current ones. I couldn't feel that way towards anyone because of the programming I had been through. Bodies were bodies and sex wasn't enjoyable for me, not that I'd had it in a while.

 **15 minutes later**

I grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped around my waist, looking in the mirror at my body. I quickly walked out before I thought about it too much, but the thoughts started in my head. _You're a monster...the scars on your skin, the way the metal is seared into it...you're disgusting..._

I growled and went to get some boxers. I wanted to stay shirtless, knowing that if I put on a shirt that my metal arm would get irritated. I pulled on some boxers and trousers, using a black belt to tighten them.

I sat back down and held the pen in my hand, trying hard to think of any hobbies I used to have. I hoped that they would spring from my memory instead of having to search for them, but nothing was coming to mind.

Picking up the notebook to get some ideas from what I had already written down, I noticed a small flower drawing at the bottom. It was a doodle really, a simple flower, a daisy, but it seemed like a familiar drawing. Perhaps it was something that I used to draw when I was younger, but it gave me an idea.

I picked up a pencil from the desk and found a scrap of paper in one of my drawers to test my skills on. The paper was slightly crumpled, but I didn't bother getting another piece. I set the led onto the page and thought of something to draw.

I looked around the room and saw my gun perched on my bedside table. That seemed like a simple enough object. I turned back to the paper and began to draw, not needing the object in front of me as it was burnt into my memory.

I worked up from the magazine and then worked up. Grip. Grip safety. Magazine release. Trigger guard. Trigger. Slide Stop. Rear Sight. Barrel. Front Sight. Muzzle. I was shocked at how quickly I managed to draw it. It was detailed but rough around the edges.

The pencil felt natural in my hand like an old habit returning to me. I must've drawn a lot back in the day. I let my hand glide across the page, a different idea coming to me. I drew the memory I had of Howard Stark.

I drew him how I remembered him, smirking and arrogant. I drew him standing alone, arms crossed, lips pulled into a smirk, hip cocked slightly, eyes confident, but hair not quite perfect. Everybody viewed him as perfect but during the war, he was scruffier than that.

The public didn't see him beneath the bunker where he would be slaving away on projects, similar to Tony. It was obvious that the genius worked all day tinkering with technology. He and his father were one in the same, not that Tony seemed to realise.

The Howard Steve and I saw in the bunkers was someone who barely slept and never had his hair combed straight like he did for the cameras. I briefly looked at the photo and saw that I had only completed the outlines of the picture, his facial features and clothing outline complete, but I didn't want to add any more to it in that minute.

Going over the things I had researched in my head, I remembered going out dancing. Steve was on the sidelines, by himself as always. I always felt bad for him, but he didn't want to dance with just anyone. He wanted to dance with the right person. Someone like Peggy.

I remembered a red dress worn by a curly brunette girl I'd met. I think I must've preferred brunettes back in the day as that was the only colour I remembered from the past.

It was almost automatic. My hand flew across the page and within twenty minutes I had sketched the upper body of two figures, faces close with their eyes locked. It was a memory.

I would've continued drawing it, but there was a knock at the door. _God, please don't be Steve._

I went to answer the door and was relieved to see Wanda standing there. I almost felt the tense energy release from my shoulders. "Hey," I greeted, moving back to leave the door open for her to walk through.

"Heya," she replied as she shut the door behind her. I walked past the mirror and realised that I wasn't wearing a shirt. _Shit._

I hadn't even noticed. How had I not noticed? I didn't even think about how my arm was on display. "Sorry," I mumbled, rushing over to the drawers to grab a shirt without checking for her reaction. I didn't need to see that.

When I looked back at her, she was at the desk, looking at the sketchbook. I drew in a breath, worrying she would judge me on my drawing skills. I wasn't that good of a drawer but it was something I enjoyed.

I felt a little relieved at the smile on her face. She glanced up at me before looking back at the page. "You're so talented," she said, picking up the sketchbook to examine it a little further.

I still kept my face straight as she examined my work. She noticed and her smile fell. "Sorry," she apologised, placing the sketchbook down on the desk again.

"It's okay," I told her, hoping she knew that I didn't mind. I did a little, it was a private memory, but I didn't mind sharing it with Wanda. She wouldn't betray my trust.

"It's a memory?" she pondered, folding the sketchbook cover down so the drawings were concealed in the book. I debated talking to her about it but decided that sharing a memory might be nice to do, for both of us.

"I used to dance with all the dames. I was the strong soldier and Steve was the breakable boy," I said, moving towards the window.

I looked at her as she walked over to me. She had a cute smile on her face. I felt comfortable with her, more comfortable than any other women in the tower. She was the one I felt like I could trust the most. It was difficult not to grin at how sweet she looked like that. "I like that accent,"

"What?" I asked, confused about what she was saying. I was speaking normally, wasn't I?

"Your Brooklyn accent, it's nice," she explained to me. Thinking back on the way I said it, I realised that I had used a Brooklyn accent. I hadn't used my original accent in ages. Maybe it was a good thing I was picking it up again. Wanda seemed to think so.

I let a small grin form on my lips. "I like your accent too, doll," I replied playfully, exaggerating the Brooklyn spin I put on my words. I watched as she laughed and rolled her eyes at my antics.

Her laugh was heart-warming and the look on her face as she did was beautiful. Her eyes were shimmering with laughter and her cheeks were turning red with embarrassment as she did. I couldn't tell whether it was what I said or the chortle of a laugh she gave. Whichever one, it didn't matter as I couldn't help but stifle a grin.

"Tell me more about these girls," she said, waving her hand at me to elaborate on the memory.

I raised an eyebrow. "You really wanna know?" I asked and she nodded in reply.

"The girls used to flock around me like I was some kind of prize, but I never slept with people that I didn't honestly care about. I haven't-" I stopped myself for a second, wondering if the words would sound weird or if Wanda would think I was weird. "I haven't felt _that_ way in a long time." I knew earlier I felt turned on, but that wasn't the same. I didn't see that as intimacy. It was just a memory and it wasn't even towards anyone.

"What do you mean?"

I pulled my hands away from her and moved away, watching as her confused eyes grew with depth. "The bodies...thing. When I asked...you to take off your clothes, I can't...I didn't..." I almost growled at the way I could speak the words I wanted. They just couldn't seem to come off of my tongue. Every way I phrased them in my head sounded wrong. _'I can't find attraction'_ or _'Women don't turn me on'_ or _'I don't understand the concept of intimacy'_ all seemed strange.

"You haven't felt intimately connected with someone in a long time?" she suggested and I nodded in agreement with her. But it was much more complicated than that.

"It's not just that," I replied, putting my head in my hands as I mulled my thoughts over. "It's like the...attraction I had for women is barely there anymore." She seemed to listen to what I said, not judging me or interrupting me - just listening.

She took my hand and led me over to the bed. I knew better than to argue with her and just let her bring me to sit down.

"I'm going to tell you a story, but do you promise not to laugh?" she asked as we sat, but I didn't miss the warning look in her eye. I nodded seriously and let her explained, leaning my forearms against my knees as I listened intently.

"When I was fifteen, I dated a boy named Usif. We dated for two months - nothing serious, but he was the first relationship I ever had. He dumped me and I found out that he had been cheating on me with another girl in my class. I was broken hearted, thinking that I wasn't good enough, and completely closed my heart to the idea of love. Obviously, I wasn't in love with Usif, but I thought I was at the time. Anyway, it didn't bother me again until I was eighteen. This guy in my class was extremely sweet to me and it was an escape from my brother at the time. The relationship didn't last, but he made me believe that there isn't just one person for someone and you can't be completely closed off to the idea of love. I think you just need to find your reason to be with someone, whether it be from experimenting with dates or doing nothing for a while and waiting like I did."

I mulled over Wanda's story in my brain. If Usif was still alive, I was going to find him and make him pay for how he treated Wanda. Secondly, she may have had a point. I hadn't had the chance to develop personal connections with anyone since I had been back with the rest of civilisation. Maybe I did just need time and that need to be with someone could come back?

I looked up at her and frowned. "Is he still alive?" I asked, my voice gruff and deep.

She shook her head and I heard a sigh leave her lips. "James, things happen," she told me, reaching her hand up to place it on my shoulder. My metal shoulder.

I tensed completely, my shoulders becoming tight and tense. I didn't mean to have that reaction but it was automatic. The only time people touched my shoulder was to either put me down for programming or fight me. I wasn't used to it being in a comforting way.

"Bad things shouldn't happen to good people," I told her, looking at the ground as I concentrated hard to not flinch away from her hand contact.

"I could say the same to you." I looked up at her beside me and noticed the sympathetic look on her face. It wasn't her fault she had no idea how difficult the position of her hand was for me. "I know it's difficult for you," she said, rubbing her hand back and forth on my shoulder as she nodded.

"What is?" I asked, my eyes switching from watching the movements of her fingers on my shoulder to her eyes.

"This," she replied, her other hand coming to join the other on my metal arm. They were now gently clasped around my bicep, but I couldn't help the wince that escaped my expression. "It's okay," she whispered, her delicate fingers running back and forth against my metal arm.

I could feel it, but it just felt almost like a fake interaction between my arm and her skin. She smiled warmly at me and continued to stroke me. "Bad things shouldn't happen to good people," she said, repeating the same thing I had said to her. "But we have to deal with the life we are given."

I liked her optimism, it was one of the things that made up Wanda's personality. "You shouldn't feel shame or embarrassment, James." That was the problem...I did feel shame. It wasn't normal. Nobody had a metal arm.

Her voice was soothing and smooth. "Shut your eyes," she whispered, her hands slowly moving their way down my arm to hold onto my fingertips.

I kept my eyes focused on hers until they finally stopped at my wrists. She squeezed slightly, which made me focus back on her face. "Do you really think I'd hurt you in that way?" she asked sweetly, tilting her head to the side to question me. I tried not to smile as I shook my head. I really did trust her.

I took a breath and shut my eyes, feeling the way her fingers made the soothing motions again. She had an odd, powerful control over me and it slightly scared me. Something that scared me more was when she started to manoeuvre my hand and lift my arm into the air.

I took a breath in to show how I wasn't comfortable, but she shushed me. "Hey, hey, it's okay," she whispered, stilling her hand for a moment while I calmed down. I took another breath and started to feel relaxed again. She obviously noticed and took it as a sign to keep moving again.

"I won't let anything happen to you," she whispered. It was then that I felt contact. Something new and soft. It took me a minute to recognise that it was her cheek I was feeling, her hand placed on the top to keep it. My hand was encased between skin, a comfortable blanket for the metal. It felt so abnormal to be doing so.

"I promise," she whispered, stroking my hand again. My shoulder blades were tight, worried about how the weapon I had was being comforted in such a delicate matter. If this was HYDRA, I would be able to snap her neck within a second.

I opened my eyes and my heart sank. I saw a teardrop fall down her cheek, her eyes shut with my palm pressed against her face. _Shit, I'm making her cry._ I couldn't imagine how scared she would be. I had my hand on her face, the same hand that had to strangle throats, punched through chests and twisted arms. Gritting my teeth at the memories, I started to pull my hand away.

Her eyes flew open and nearly startled me as she pulled my hand back to her cheek. "I'm not scared," she told me, shutting her eyes again. I was surprised to see a smile form on her face as she stroked the back of my palm. "I'm happy," she said, her tone sounding so tranquil that I was almost tempted to shut my eyes myself.

"Are you okay?" she asked, not opening her eyes. God, she looked so peaceful. Before I could stop myself, I brought my other hand to the other cheek. Her eyes opened wide as I held her face in my hands, one metal and one flesh. In that moment, I wasn't thinking about the Avengers or HYDRA or anything else, I was just thinking about her. She grinned widely before clamping her lips together, but I could tell she was just doing so to contain her excitement. It was probably the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

"Yeah," I answered, stroking her cheek with my flesh hand, not wanting to hurt her with the metal one. She nodded and smiled lightly as she shut her eyes. I took the lead and shut my eyes as well. I didn't know what compelled me to do it, but I felt so safe with her. I didn't want to leave her side, even though I knew I would at some point over the next hour. I didn't want to though.

I slowly leaned my forward to rest my forehead against hers, my hands still touching her cheeks. She gasped quietly, probably trying not to scare me off. I could feel that the temperature of her forehead was slightly colder than the temperature of her cheeks. We were close. I could feel the air from her lips echo between us, her warm breath brushing against my cheek.

"I promise I'll try not to hurt you," I whispered softly, feeling my lips and mouth suddenly grow dry as I realised how close our lips were.

"You won't hurt me," she said firmly, stating it as fact. I almost groaned at that. She was convinced I was a good person and she was wrong, but I wasn't going to bring that up while we were like this.

"I can't promise that," I said a little louder, hoping she would get it in her head that I had the power to hurt her. She said she could stop me with her powers, but what if she couldn't? What if I overpowered her or scared her so much she wouldn't fight back? I wouldn't want to hurt her that way. If I ever did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Wanda was one of the kindest people I had ever met and she deserved the happiest life the world could give her.

"I know."

 **I know, I know, it was all James POV. I haven't really read over this, so please review if there are any mistakes. Thank you so much for reading. I love how much you guys like this story. Thank you so much! Been working on this for the past seven hours, so please drop a review if you can. Thank you 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Please don't hate me. Read the end bit for an explanation on why I haven't updated for like...four months?!**

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 **Wanda POV**

"Uhh," I groaned, being pinned down on the mat. Again.

James and I had been sparring for half an hour. I lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and sighed. "Come on..." James blocked the light above my head, casting a shadow over me. Sighing, I looked up at his face cut from god and couldn't help but feel a little disgusted with myself. I was covered in sweat and most likely sporting a double chin from my position on the floor.

"Wanda?" James said, raising his eyebrows at me. I shook my head a little and blinked, snapping myself out of the daze. I didn't want to put myself down about it, at least not right now. I pushed myself to stand and James stepped back to let me. "What was that about?"

I shook my head and put my fists up. "I'm just annoyed I'm not getting this," I lied.

He frowned as he shook his head. He reached forward and took my hands, pushing them down to my sides. "Don't look for movement, look for openings," he said softly. "Openings are where you want to punch, but don't lose focus of other openings when you punch. Be alert to what I do and pay attention to my movements. Everybody has a favourite fighting style, so look for repetition."

I nodded and stepped back slightly, going over his instruction. 1) Openings 2) Be alert of his body. I hadn't thought about the openings thing before he mentioned it. My last trainer was more focused on my abilities, which meant I didn't really need to think of openings, more the movements made and how to block them.

I took a breath and brought my fists back up. He raised an eyebrow as if he were asking whether I was ready, but I immediately pushed my fist out. He immediately dodged my attack, moving his head smoothly away to the side to avoid it. He did everything so elegantly, unlike my own body movements in battle. His body was so different to mine - his face, his body, his hair, everything. He didn't understand how beautiful he was.

He batted my arm away and stepped forward. I noticed his arms rising to attack, but noticed an 'opening' as Bucky called it. I immediately kicked him in the chest, shocking him slightly as he stumbled backward. I was concentrated on the fight, pushing myself to focus on surprising him with punches.

I sprinted forward and tackled his waist in a split second. I slammed him to the ground, pushing past his strength, and pinned him. My hands were clasped tightly around his wrists with my legs locking him waist between the mat and me. I was breathing heavily, watching as his eyes looked up at me with slight bewilderment.

I smiled at him for a few seconds before I pushed myself off of him to stand. He slowly stood up and I saw his lips begin to pull into a smirk. "Where did that come from?"

I shrugged. "I take instructions well," I quipped back. I couldn't contain my grin as I aimed for another blow to his face.

 **An hour later**

"It was so intense." Natasha and I were speaking in the living room, away from the boys who were in the kitchen with Maria and Pepper. I was speaking to her about earlier this afternoon, reliving the moment that James told me he would try not to hurt me with our foreheads together. "For a minute, I genuinely thought he was going to kiss me."

I didn't know how I would react if he did that. Would I have kissed him back or not? He wasn't thinking clearly at the minute, perhaps a little clearer than a few weeks ago, but not clearly. I didn't know how I felt about it all, but Natasha knew how to feel about it.

She barely raised her eyebrows. "That's a bad idea."

I gave her a look that said 'well, duh!' Obviously, I couldn't form a relationship like that with James. He was too troubled to sort that out as well. Even if we did, I could turn into a lifeline for him, which would make him lose his independence. Thinking about it though, James was the most independent person I'd ever met. He was perfectly capable of surviving alone and did for two years, not that it was a good idea.

"Have you read through the bad press yet?" Natasha asked, uncrossing her knee to smoothly stand up in one motion. I wished I could do that as gracefully as she could. I wished I could do anything as gracefully as she could.

"Not yet, but I will later on," I explained, standing with her.

"Make sure you do," she said with a polite smile and walked into the kitchen with me. Natasha didn't mean to be rude, it certainly wasn't her intention. I knew she was only pushing me because she wanted me to be prepared for the interview tomorrow. I sighed and followed her.

"Woah, nice outfit Maximoff," was the first thing I heard when I entered the kitchen. Sam.

I rolled my eyes at him as I went to get a glass of water. "Piss off, Sam," I replied as politely as I could. I had no time for that today. As James and I had just finished another workout, I was still wearing my sports bra and leggings. The training session was definitely a success, especially as he didn't ask me to take my top off this time.

"I mean it! Don't she look good, Barnes?" I saw the slight look of panic flicker across his face as he looked at me. I knew Sam was messing with him slightly, but handling this might actually do him some good, so I left James to answer.

"Yes..." he said, holding my gaze for a few seconds before looking back at Sam. I noticed the small blush on his cheeks. Mentally wincing, I told myself it must be difficult for him. Things weren't as...tight in his day. He probably didn't notice that type of thing though, his opinion on attractiveness completely distorted.

"See! Take the compliment!" Sam said, throwing his hands in the air like I was crazy for not thinking I looked good. I filled up my water and decided to ignore Sam's banter, rolling my eyes. He wasn't being creepy, he wasn't like that. We had grown to be friends during our training as new Avengers before the Accords happened. It was nice to meet some people who were going through the same sort of situation I was.

Rhodey announced he was serving up as I moved to sit next to the spare seat with James, but Natasha got there first. I didn't argue, knowing that she was doing this as a little extra reminder that I wasn't to get close to him. Instead, I moved to sit next to Clint who immediately put his arm around me for a side hug.

"There's my favourite Avenger," he said as I squeezed a hug back to him. I think my favourite thing about Clint was that he was essentially normal compared to everyone else. He didn't have any superpowers, he wasn't an unemotional bitch and he really did have a heart. He was slowly turning into a father figure for me.

"I thought I was your favourite," Sam said with a pout.

"Excuse me, it's obviously me."

"There is no competition. It's me." Natasha said with such a definitive tone that it almost scared me.

"Dinner is served," Rhodey said, placing five large glass dishes of cheese and potato bake on the table that would usually be way too much for a usual family. All of the dishes were for everyone, but everyone knew that Steve practically had one for himself, needing the strength to sustain being a super-soldier.

I was worried about James as he was a super-soldier too. He ate less because he was partly punishing himself though, not because he wasn't hungry. I noticed Natasha take his plate and serve him practically half of one of the dishes. At least she was helpful with that.

Dinner was mediocre. I wasn't too focused on the conversations being had and I didn't input much. I was too busy thinking about tomorrow. What if there is a huge protest outside with people wanting to put my head on their pitchforks?

I felt a hand on my back, stroking me. I looked at Clint and he smiled, stroked me once more and then returned to eating food. Once we finished, I collected some of the plates and loaded them into the dishwasher. Clint and James joined me, closely followed by Nat.

"You okay, chick?" Clint asked and I nodded.

"Mmm-hmm" I hummed, but even I didn't believe me. I sighed as I washed one of the plates and placed it on the dishwasher rack. "I'm just nervous about tomorrow."

"Don't be. As long as you're prepared, you'll be fine," Natasha said smiling for a second before leaving the three of us to it.

We all watched her walk away and I noticed Clint frown. "What's up with her?" Thank goodness it wasn't only me that noticed she was being a bitch to me at the moment.

"I don't know," I replied, placing a piece of cutlery in the dishwasher. "She's getting on my nerves though," I added, shoving the next piece of cutlery in its place with a little more anger.

Clint dried his hands and smiled at me. "I'll talk to her," he said, quickly running out of the room as well. Once he was out of earshot, James spoke up.

"What's Natalia done?" he asked in a calm tone, unlike how he sounded yesterday when he found out someone cheated on me in my youth. However, the pair of them obviously had history and she seemed to be the only person to get into his heart. Maybe they slept together or something? Perhaps had a relationship whilst he was in HYDRA?

I shook my head. "Nothing. She just arranged this public interview for me tomorrow and told me to research the bad press written about me in order to prepare for questions they might throw at me."

I finished stacking the dishwasher and shut it, crouching down to set the wash. "Oh," was all James said. I couldn't even tell if he meant it sincerely or angrily or calmly. He was so difficult to read sometimes.

"Yeah, it's not her fault," I told him, pressing the buttons to start the wash. I stood up to look at him. "I know she's looking out for me."

"What's making you nervous?" he asked, placing his hip against the side and crossing his arms. The start of this conversation felt more like an interrogation, which made me feel a little nervous.

I released a deep breath. "They could be waiting outside with pitchforks, they'll definitely be asking intimate questions as I haven't had the chance to ever be interviewed before, there will be people judging me in their masses. If I make one mistake the whole world is going to see. Can you see why I'm nervous?"

James stared at me for a moment before nodding and looking to the ground. I didn't realise until I'd finished speaking that I had raised my voice at him. "Sorry," I said, noticing how I had made my voice quieter for him. His head didn't move from where it was focused on the ground.

I took a step towards him and he looked up when I got only a few feet away from him. His metal hand was placed on the side and I slowly placed my hand on it, watching for panic in his eyes. Even tough they widened slightly when I first touched the metal, they seemed reasonably calm the rest of the time. Bless him, I knew he was pushing himself to not look agitated by me touching the metal arm.

"I didn't mean it," I told him softly, threading my thumb underneath his and gently clasping his hand.

"You didn't hurt me," he said, turning his palm to face up. I held his hand a little tighter and his fingers slowly, very slowly, folded against mine. Our hands were together, one of metal and one of flesh.

"I don't like seeing you upset." My heart felt like it was going to melt at his words. He was honestly the sweetest man in the world, though the world may not see him that way. He was talking about not liking to see me upset, but I had just shouted in his face. I think I partly triggered his anxiety, but he didn't mention it.

"Tomorrows just a big deal to-"

"I forgot my-"

I pulled my hand away like I was touching fire. I immediately regretted doing so. I could feel the anxiety in James spike, not needing just my powers to detect it. The look on his face made me feel ever so guilty. Clint was at the door but paused when he saw us.

He didn't linger long, noticing the expressions on our faces. "...phone..." he said after a pause that felt like it stretched on forever. He smiled at James and I before quickly picking it up and dashing from the room.

"Let's train," he said and walked straight out of the room. _Dammit_.

I chased after him but decided to stay quiet until we had gotten to my room with more privacy. He decided to stay standing once we entered, still not feeling comfortable enough to sit straight down on the bed.

"Look-"

"It doesn't matter," James said, going to stand by the window. I noticed that he got like this sometimes, not knowing what to do himself. The lack of social interaction during his training with HYDRA had a part to play with that, I bet. He would walk to the biggest window or the darkest corner of the room to stay away. I found it strange but didn't judge him for the way he reacted.

"Yes, it does," I argued, walking towards him. He turned, probably hearing my footsteps. He looked hurt and I felt so guilty. "I didn't want him to see us like that because Natasha said that she doesn't want us getting close."

I didn't want to look at his face, but I knew I needed to in order to show how I was telling the truth. He looked at me in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out what I'd said. "What does that mean?"

"She means..." I pulled my lips into a thin line as I considered the best wording to say what I needed to. "She means that she doesn't want us to get too close and be sexually involved with one another." Rip it off, like a band-aid. "Which isn't anything that I'm looking for, but I just thought I would let you know that that's why I don't want anybody thinking we are more than what we are just in case Natasha finds out."

"Why does that matter to you?" he asked, without leaving a second to process what I had just said. His question had an easy answer that I didn't want to say, but he seemed to read my mind. "Does she scare you?"

I scoffed, even though that was 100% the reason why it mattered. James did not look convinced by my reaction at all.

I rolled my eyes. "I know I shouldn't be, but she's kinda my boss," I said with a shrug and moved to sit down on the bed, hearing the soft duvet cover crumple as I did.

"She can't tell you who to like," he replied, still standing up. He folded his arms over and I noticed he shook his head quickly. "I didn't mean me..." he said, a small blush flaring on his cheeks. I raised an eyebrow at him as he began to stutter.

"I didn't m-mean that about me directly, but...I just..just mean...in general that she can't tell you who to be interested and who not to be interested in." he clarified, waving his hands around. He was staring at anything but me and I didn't blame him, because I would've probably done the same in his situation. He reminded me of Steve in the same way he dealt with it, with me - a woman. I laughed in my head but was secretly quite nervous.

"I wasn't even thinking that about...the way you said it," My goodness. I clasped and unclasped my hands and tried to get ahold of myself. _What a pair of fumbling idiots._ I sighed. "I didn't think you implied that at all, James. It's fine." I hadn't done boys, at least not after HYDRA. I had kissed a few people at parties, but nothing more.

He was quiet for a second, his cheeks still a flavoursome shade of rouge, before he gave a nod and came to sit down next to me. "Good, I'm glad we are on the same page."

 **James POV**

She nodded and pulled her legs beneath her. "Did you find the list helpful?" she asked in her sweet voice.

I nodded and undid the laces of my shoes, noticing she had no shoes on. "Yeah, it was a really good suggestion..." I faltered slightly as I realised I hadn't done what she asked. "I didn't end up doing anything on the list though, not yet."

She looked at me as she slipped off the final shoe. "Was sketching not on the list?"

Thinking back on it, it wasn't there. I did enjoy sketching, earlier today showed that. "Yeah...I guess that would count. I'll add it later on," I replied, slipping off my last shoe and mimicking the position she had slipped into with her feet tucked underneath her.

"That's good," she said, placing her hand's face upwards in front of her. "Now for the fun part of tonight."

I scrunched my nose up at her choice of words. She frowned slightly. "What?" she said, clenching and unclenching her hands as if that would make mine would magically pop into them.

"I wouldn't describe it as fun," I replied as I reluctantly slipped my hands into hers.

"I feel like you will find this session to be fun," she said with a smile. What is she up to? I liked it when Wanda acted mischievously around me. It was a fun part of her that I was beginning to really enjoy being around. I think I just enjoyed being around her in general. She was different to the others, but perhaps it was her background of Sokovia that did that to her.

"So, I was talking with Steve," she began and I rolled my eyes at her. "Hey!" she scowled, a small smile on her face. "Steve is a nice person."

"Sometimes," I said, shrugging. She shook her head, but I noticed the way her chest moved and could tell she was laughing. All the man needed to do was give me some space. It was difficult for Steve. He was always protective, even before he became 'Captain America'. When we were younger, he would get himself into fights and try and defend me, take all the punches, but he would never physically be able to stand his ground. Poor kid.

"As I was saying," she said with a slightly stern look as she restarted her sentence. "I spoke to him and talked about your memories. I think I should let you know that yours are quite scattered," she admitted, pouting a little that showed she was a little shy and nervous about my reaction. "I guess that you already knew that."

I nodded and looked down at the duvet. "I had a feeling." Gee, I was a mess.

Wanda smiled and lightly squeezed my hands as if sensing I was self-deprecating. "Well, because of that scattering I think it would be a good idea for you to have a base. It's an area that we can go to when I am exploring your mind that is safe for you. It won't contain memories and you can relax there."

I looked at her a little skeptically. "That sounds a little complicated to create." A base for myself? What does that even mean?

"It's not that difficult, trust me," she said, squeezing my hands again and smiling. "You ready?"

I nodded and shut my eyes. I didn't know whether creating 'a base' was a good idea or not, but what else did I have to lose? I felt her delicate hands press softly against mine as she began telling me what to do.

"Think of a place you feel comfortable whether it be back in the 1940s or recently. Picture it in your head, what the place looks like, how it feels to be there, how it smells, how you would be dressed. Let it overwhelm your senses until you feel like you're there."

I cleared my mind and tried to let myself think of somewhere like that. I couldn't think of somewhere on the spot, so I eliminated environments where I wasn't comfortable. That meant not at the Avengers Tower, definitely not during my time at HYDRA and nowhere whilst I was on the run. That only left one period of time.

"Have you thought of it? If not, take your time and tell me when you do," Wanda whispered sweetly to me.

"I have it." I sat up a little straighter, feeling my lungs expand and released with calming air.

"Good. Now, I want you to focus on all of those feelings in that environment - the objects in that place, the smell, the sounds, even the temperature. Envision as much detail as you can and then when you feel your senses recognise that environment, open your eyes."

The furniture was always ratty and old, not one piece matching the others. The cushions were embroidered, the memory vivid in my mind. The room was made out of bricks. On one side, a fireplace that was nearly falling apart lit with the smallest flame. Some firewood was always beside it along with a desk table. The door was wooden with small chips on it. There was an unused gramophone in the corner, polished without a speck of dust remaining. One armchair was positioned on the right-hand side of the fireplace with the sofa opposite it.

I could hear the sound of cars outside and children playing as people usually did outside this place. The crackle from the fireplace could barely be heard. The smell of fresh air filled my eyes and the scent almost forced my eyes to open up.

Wanda was standing there with a small smile on her face. "Where are we?" she asked, looking around the room. She walked forward and let her fingertips grace the top of the couch. The way she was touching my memory was similar to the way she touched me - with caution and delicacy.

"It was my house," I said simply. I think she could understand what time period we were in by the decor.

"From the 1940s? You must've been so young," she said, walking over to the gramophone.

"Yeah, I was," I replied, walking over to the painting of me as a five-year-old with my mother beside me that always sat above the fireplace.

"And you feel comfortable here, yes?" she asked, the 'yes' at the end of her sentence somehow highlighting her Sokovian accent more than usually. Her accent was original and beautiful.

"Absolutely," I said, allowing myself to slump into the armchair that my sister usually sat in.

"Who lived here?" she asked, walking around the rest of the room. The fact that my childhood peaked her interest made me smile as it showed she was genuinely interested in me as a person.

"My mother, father and sister lived her when I was younger. My sister, who was older than me, moved out a few years before I was recruited into the army." I explained, letting the familiar feeling of the armchair sink in.

"What were their names?" Wanda asked, turning her head to me.

"Winifred and George were my parents," I said as she walked over and took a seat on the sofa near me. I think they were good parents, at least the records always state that they were. "Rebecca was my sister."

Wanda lifted her hand out and placed it on my forearm. After following her hand movement, I looked up and noticed the sympathetic look on her face. "It must be difficult without them." I'd seen Rebecca once or twice, but I hadn't been to visit her in a while. I couldn't think about that right now.

I grimaced, not really wanting to reply to her words. How could I? I just stood up, letting her hand slip from my forearm, and faced her. "What's the point in this 'base' then?"

Clearly seeing that I wanted to move on from the subject of my family, she nodded and stood with me, explaining the idea around my 'base'.

"It's a place to relax if the memories get too much for you. They are practically made of glass, very fragile, so dealing with them can be too much to deal with at once. This would be a way to escape, but not go back to the 'real' world. We can sit here on the couch and look at your memories," she explained.

"Sounds simple now that we are here," I replied, looking at the room. It was the spitting image of my living room, one of the only things I could remember because it filled so much of my childhood. However, part of me couldn't trust my own thoughts. I felt like some of the room elements had to be fabricated from imagination rather than my real memory.

"Nice clothes by the way," she said. I looked down at my outfit noticing that my clothes had changed. I was now wearing a white shirt that was slightly too big for me tucked into some black trousers. "You can change my outfit if it would make you more comfortable," she suggested.

I noticed that she was still in the sports bra and leggings that she was wearing before we merged our minds. Not exactly appropriate forties attire. "I don't mind," I replied, not wanting to be impolite.

"It might help you," she suggested with a shrug of one shoulder. I nodded in agreement with her. It put me off that she was so different compared to the rest of the room. "Close your eyes and picture the type of outfit that a forties women my age would wear."

I did as she asked and thought. When I opened my eyes again after a few seconds, her clothing had changed. She was now wearing a white blouse tucked into a long, knee-length skirt. She was wearing red lipstick and a light touch of makeup. Her hair was put into a bun at the back of her head, which was strange to see as I usually saw it in a ponytail or let down. "Your hair looks nice like that," I blurted before I could stop myself.

I saw her blush and look down at the floor, laughing nervously as she wore her new outfit and fiddled with the material of the skirt. "Thank you," she replied with as much confidence as she could muster.

 **I understand that it's awful that I never upset, but like writing a book, the author takes their own time to write it and this is just me taking time when I have it out of my university schedule to do so, so I'm begging you not to get angry that I don't update as much as other authors. My mother can't walk and I've been stressed with University, so I'm sorry for not updating enough. Believe me, if I could write fanfiction all day, I would. However, I want to tell you now that I am planning on writing much more over the next few months.**

 **Please take the time to review and creating this story isn't a piece of cake :P I am planning for many many MANY chapters, so please have faith in meeeee! THANK YOU DARLINGS!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Response to reviews:**

 **DarylDixon'sLover - Thank you so much for the review :)**

 **Heh309 - I have already explained to you personally how beautiful your review was, but here I am saying it again. Thank you so much :) I seriously appreciate the comments so much and the ideas :P**

 **James POV**

We sat on the sofa as she spoke about my memories. "Wait, so I have two options?"

"Yes, you can either choose to sit here and think of the memories like we have in the past or we can go out that door..." she said, gesturing to the front door. "And physically see the memories as those glass boxes that I talk about. Touching each one enables us to see the memories together."

I nodded and looked at the front door. "I want to see how jumbled everything is," I admitted, standing and offering her my hand.

She looked at me nervously, taking my hand to stand up. "Are you sure you want to see that?"

I nodded again and lead her towards the door before I could change my mind. I needed to see the mental state I was in, whether I wanted to admit to myself how bad I was or not.

I decided to let Wanda open the door, not knowing if she had more instructions for me. She was more experienced with this than I was. I was still unsure whether I could fully trust her with my mind or not yet. I knew I was dangerous, there was no telling whether one little trigger would cause my brain to collapse, and I didn't want that to hurt her.

She put her hand on the door handle and opened it for me. I stood at the entranceway for a moment, looking out at the grey mess that was my memory storage. A grey smoke surrounded the floor and, if we ventured out, would most likely reach my hips. Glass boxes were everywhere, scattered across the room. Some were on the floor and many were cracked or broken.

"I'm guessing it's not supposed to be like this?" I asked, watching as she stepped into the mist that swarmed around her. I took that as a sign and stepped out with her. I felt like I almost needed to protect her, but then I realised that I would only be protecting her from myself. How could I ever protect anyone from myself ever again? It was certain that no one would ever be safe around me again. That idea of getting married and having children in the 1940s faded with my memories.

"No," she said with a concerned tone. She bit her cheek as she looked around at my mess of a brain. "A normal person's memories are stacked in rows like...in Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix." I nodded, even though I had no clue what she was going on about. "The mist is always in people's brains, but it's only on the ground and not this thick or dark."

I reached up to touch one of the glass boxes, a fractured one, and I heard Wanda shout, but it was too late.

 _The image was a complete blur and my hearing felt muffled. Slight pieces of colour came into the frame, but not many. It was like I needed glasses to see what was going on._

 _"Pick on someone your own size!" I heard my own voice say and squinted to try and see what was going on, but everything after that was muffled and impossible to make out._

Suddenly, I was back in the grey misted room of ominous boxes with a very angry looking Wanda. A pain shot through my head and I shut my eyes, putting a hand on my head where it hurt.

"Idiot," she scolded and I seethed through my teeth at the pain. It wore off after a few seconds, but there was still a dull ache in the back of my head.

"I'm sorry." I opened my eyes and, thankfully, Wanda was looking less angry, more concerned about the pain.

"Are you okay?" she asked and I nodded, bringing my hand back to my side. The pain was wearing off, but my hearing was still a little funny. I shook my head trying to get my hearing back. It just hurt my head more. "I thought you would have the sense not to touch anything in here."

"I must be more stupid than I look," I replied, looking at the box that I had touched. It seemed to twitch and I got the impression that it was angry at me for some reason. Could a glass memory box be angry? Perhaps my memory was angry at me for poking it.

She chuckled to herself and nodded. "I guess you are," she said and looked closely at the fractured memory I had looked into. "Poor thing." That just made me think that my memories did have their own emotions. I suddenly thought about how crazy all of this was - the memories, the mind control, Wanda's abilities. I put those thoughts away for another time, not wanting to freak out.

She put her hands on either side of it and held it between her with her red energy. "This'll take a few minutes," she said, her fingers flickering slightly as the energy twitched.

"What are you doing?" I asked out of curiosity. I felt a small sting in the back of my head. It was hard to remember that we were standing in my head with memories we were currently changing.

"I am reconnecting the memory," she answered, her brow furrowing as she worked.

"How does it work?" I didn't want to interrupt her, but she didn't seem that bothered by my questions.

"The memories aren't actually stored in the way that we are viewing them, in the glass boxes and the rows. I usually arrange the memories to look like this, as boxes on shelves rather than have them scattered everywhere because that would be _really_ confusing."

I felt bad for Wanda. My brain seemed to be a very confusing thing to sort through. I felt guilty.

 **Wanda POV**

Man, he was curious. It didn't bother me, but he was just very curious. I actually quite liked it about him. He wanted to know the intricacies of things, how things worked.

"Long-term memories, the ones we want to locate, are stored in the brain as groups of neurons that fire at each other. They repeat the way they were fired the same way that occurred during the original experience. When you were...taken in by HYDRA," I said, hearing a slight growl in my voice. I hated how he was tortued like I was. "they forced your brain to lose the pattern those neurons were fired in. I am just triggering your neurons to fire the way that they used to."

"How did you learn all of this?" he asked. I chortled, wondering if he would ever stop asking questions. My laugh fell short as I thought about the answer to his question.

I stared at the memory I was fixing, watching at the damage slowly repaired itself with my powers. I wriggled my hands, my wrists really starting to feel the drain from using my abilities. "HYDRA didn't only force my powers upon me, but they taught me how to use them."

I didn't look back up at James as I continued to talk, deciding to change the topic away from the name of an organisation that sets my tongue on fire every time I say it.

"However, another way to get them back is by going over memories you already know, which could trigger other memories to reawaken. Piecing memories together is one way of completing memories you have completely forgotten, but many may come to you naturally through recalling them or through recognition, which is just deja vu."

"Is it that simple for each memory?" he asked, watching as I used my powers. This time I really did laugh.

"Definitely not. Some of the really broken memories will take hours to recreate, but this one only has one tiny crack in it and shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

He nodded and continued to watch me. I hoped that he found the facts I was giving him interesting. I didn't want to bore him.

The fact that HYDRA taught me those facts made me irritated to know them, but also made me feel like they gave me an advantage that I could one day use against them if they were to rise up again. I had no doubt that they were still out there, but I was paranoid.

Thinking of HYDRA made me wonder whether he knew the specific details of how he lost his memories but decided to fill him in. It seemed unfair for him to not know what happened to him.

"The fear conditioning that you went through broke down the beta-amyloids, which are molecules required for a normal memory system." He didn't seem bothered that I brought HYDRA up and decided to continue with the facts. All he did was look up at my eyes. We stared at each other as I told him what he needed to know and would eventually find out anyway if he hadn't already. "However, HYDRA overloaded your brain with their ideology and facts about how to be a skilled fighter. All of that information caused there to be high levels of beta-amyloids in your brain, pushing some of your memories out."

"They're irretrievable," he quickly concluded and I nodded solemnly, looking back at the glass memory I was close to finishing. I watched as the glass became clearer on the outside, the greyness only remaining in the centre as it slowly shrunk. My heart ached at the thought of losing all of my memories, my childhood, my Pietro. I did lose some memories, but not all. "How did you figure all this out?"

I shrugged as I finished the last section of remaking his memory. "HYDRA wanted us to understand what I would be doing and what I was going to do to other brains. They made me overload people's brains with information and create too many beta-amyloids." I closed my eyes for a second and breathed out. "They did the same to me too." I opened my eyes as I felt the memory become whole. "There," I whispered, gently easing my powers away.

It was balanced in front of us, a clear glass box - a complete memory. I smiled at my words. All we had to do was hold hands and view the memory together. I was about to speak, but James spoke first. "They did that to you?"

I frowned. "What?"

"They tortured you in the same way they tortured me?"

Had he not realised that? I feel like he didn't understand what happened to me at all, even though we were both controlled by the same organisation. Maybe the base he was located at was run differently than the base I was.

"Yes, I was," I replied and cleared my throat, resting my fingers against the material of my 1940's skirt. "Our country was in rebellion. Our government was lying to us and my brother and I wanted to change that by being freedom fighters. Strucker said that he was recruiting volunteers to be part of experiments to help us win," I said, shaking my head. "He said we would have to wait our turn. Little did we know that the waiting list shortened as each person that endured the experiments was killed."

I looked at the ground as I continued to explain, trying not to think back to how it felt to be in that cold, dark room. "When we finally got there, we were immediately subjected to fear conditioning with electric chair type torture." Looking back up at James, I noticed his expression change in one of anger. "James..." I whispered, avoiding the cube to stand in front of him.

He shut his eyes and shook his head. "You didn't deserve that."

I shrugged. "None of us did," I whispered quietly. I swallowed my throat and looked at his memory. "Give me your hand and let's do this."

He followed my instructions and put his hand into mine. "You don't have to do anything except squeeze my hand twice if you want to leave. When the memories over, I'll make us leave anyway, but if you want to leave before, squeeze me twice, yes?"

James nodded, looking at the glass memory. Part of me couldn't tell whether he was really listening or not. His face had gone into a deep frown since I mentioned that I was tortured about HYDRA. Maybe that was a bad idea...

I slowly brought my hand up to the memory, giving time for him to stop me, but he didn't. I touched the memory and we were suddenly transferred into the body of James.

 _We both saw things from James' perspective all those years ago, no other perspective for the memory to be seen from. He was walking down some kind of street in the forties, but I had no idea where I was._

 _His head turned down an alleyway and suddenly he surged forward. "Hey! Pick on someone your own size." I easily noticed it was Steve. I had read his file during my time at HYDRA as we all had to learn of the super soldier programmes._

 _James punched him hard and the asshole beating up Steve ran away. "Sometimes, I think you like getting punched," James said._

 _Steve shook his head. "I had him on the ropes," he said, picking a sheet of paper up from the ground._

 _"How many times is this?" James said, realising Steve had an enlistment form in his hand. He scanned over it and chuckled. "Oh, you're from Paramus now? You know it's illegal to lie on the elistment form. And seriously, Jersey?"_

 _Steve smiled at James and shrugged. He looked over what James was wearing. "You get your orders?"_

 _James looked down and I recognised the dark green army uniform that sergeants wore in World War 2. "The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."_

 _I could see the disappointment on his face. "I should be going."_

 _James slapped Steve on the arm and brought him close. "Come on, man. My last night! Gotta get you cleaned up."_

 _Steve looked up at him, confused. "Why? Where are we going?"_

 _I felt James grin. "The future." James opened the newspaper and saw the main headline - **World Exposition of Tomorrow, 1943.**_

The memory finished and I brought my hand away from the glass box.

"I remember what happened afterwards when at to the Expo," James said. I nodded and smiled at him, hoping he didn't think I was being sympathetic.

"Perhaps that's why the memory wasn't completely damaged then. It could've been because you had that memory of the World Exposition in your head?"

"Perhaps," he agreed and turned around to look at the other memories. "Jeez, I'm a mess..." he muttered to himself, wiping his hand down his face.

"A mess we are going to fix." I hoped speaking so optimistically helped him. I tried not to look at the memory we just fixed. It was so bright compared to the mist and the other boxes. "Let's go find another one to fix," I suggested and he nodded, walking over to me.

After five minutes, I had found another memory and was nearly finished with it. "This is going to take so long to fix, isn't it..." he said, looking around the gloomy room.

I shrugged, trying not to be the voice of gloom. "We'll get through it. Eventually." James had lost so much already, not only through his memories but physically too. He lost all the commandos to the war and old age. There was no one to truly relate to but Steve who James wasn't a fan of currently.

Steve needed to back off, but I understood his protective instinct. He thought he had lost James, then he came back as HYDRA, then he was lost for two years before he came back again. It was complicated, to say the least. Steve had time to make friends over the years ever since New York, but James was currently living with only a few allies. He must feel so alone.

The box between my hands was a little more stable than the previous one and took a shorter amount of time to fix. "I don't know if I'm worth all this," he told me truthfully. Steve mentioned that he said something similar on the helicarrier on the way to the old HYDRA base during the 'Civil War' as the media called it.

The memory was restored, so I slowly allowed my powers to dissipate. I put a hand on his arm and shook my head. "You should never think that about yourself," I chided, looking up at him. He wasn't looking at me, only straight ahead. "James, look at me." He sighed and turned his head. "What happened wasn't your fault and it is my absolute pleasure to help fix you. I'm not doing it for Steve," I muttered, stroking my thumb against his skin.

I could see the slight confusion in his eyes like he didn't understand why I cared for him. "You are my friend, James. You've become that for me and this is me, helping out a friend."

"But I'm not-"

"You're teaching me how to fight, remember? Not that I wanted anything in return for what I'm doing for you, because I want to help you." I just wanted him to realise that I wasn't doing it for myself or for Steve or anybody else. I was doing it because I wanted to help him and him alone.

"You're too kind," he complimented. I shrugged and quietly murmured thanks. I didn't really like compliments too much. Putting my hand in front of him, I smiled.

"Ready?" I asked. He gave a small smile at me and nodded, slipping his hand into mine. I reached out, a little quicker than last time, and touched the glass memory box.

 _"We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery," James said as they approached the bottom of a wooden staircase that led to some brick wall apartments._

 _"I know, I'm sorry. I just...kinda of wanted to be alone," Steve replied as they began to walk up the stairs. Young Steve looked so skinny and his voice was fragile. He genuinely looked like he was going to break at the simplest touch._

 _"How was it?" Steve shrugged at his question as they reached the top of the staircase._

 _"It was okay. She's next to Dad." It took me a minute to realise what had happened to Steve. He had lost both of his parents. I_ _t made me think of my own family, my own parents. He was more similar to me than I thought. I viewed Natasha and Steve as my guides on how to be an Avenger._

 _James' head looked up which gave me a better view of the apartments. The doors were very close together, so I imagined the rooms inside were quite small. I remembered Steve saying something about having little money in the forties._

 _"I was gonna ask..."  
_

 _"I know what you're gonna say, Buck," Steve interrupted. "I just..."_

 _"We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It'll be fun." Steve was searching his pockets for his keys, the oversized coat he was wearing almost swamping him. "All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash."_

 _James walked back a little and kicked a brick to the side, revealing the key that Steve was probably looking for. He handed the key to Steve who looked a little embarrassed. "Come on..." James coaxed._

 _I could feel the want James had to stay with him. I imagined James being a devil and guardian angel to Steve, getting him into as well as out of trouble they were muddled in._

 _"Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own." Steve was so kind and caring, he never wanted anyone to fuss over him. Steve was selfless._

 _"The thing_ it _, you don't have to." James gently slapped his hand on Steve's shoulder. I could feel how weak his bones were from his touch. "I'm with you to the end of the line, pal."_

 **James POV**

The words echoed through my ears. "End of the line," I whispered, sitting on the couch back at the 'base' of my memories.

"What?" Wanda asked, frowning at me. I turned my head to her and shrugged.

"Something Steve and I would say," I explained, breathing a deep sigh. "We would both say that we were with each other until the end of the line. A stupid saying we had."

"Can you remember anything else you two had?" she asked softly, her hands folded neatly together against her 40's skirt.

"What do you mean?" I asked, watching as she fiddled with the material in her fingers. I found it rather cute.

"Are there any more back and forth sayings you would have?"

I shrugged, trying to remember the thing that we would say back and forth. "I would call him something and he would call me a jerk, but I can't..." I frowned as I tried to remember. Suddenly, it clicked like a puzzle piece fitting in. "Punk. I would call him a punk. We said that to each other at the expo."

Discovering small thing about my memories seemed like milestones to me. The problem was there were so many milestones, I knew it would never end. The puzzle would never be fully complete. But the smile she had on her face was rather rewarding. Her dimples were showing and she had a beautiful, proud look on her face. "Good."

Eventually, we walked back through the door and left the memories alone for the day. I looked around the living room that was around me. So old yet so fresh in my mind. I didn't think I wanted to stay longer than I had. "Can we go back please?"

She nodded and held out both of her hands. "Sure." I clasped her hands and shut my eyes. Next minute, I was back in Wanda's room lying on her crisp sheets and sitting beside her with our hands still held. She was in her original clothing - a sports bra and leggings.

I was so interested in the talents she had. It was simply incredible that she managed to produce a room from my thoughts and use it as a 'base'. She was just incredible.

"Is there anything else you can teach me and my brain to do?" I hadn't meant for the words to come out so quickly after we had finished, but they just fell naturally from my lips.

"One step at a time, my young padawan." I frowned at her, not understanding what a 'padawan' was. She shrugged. "Steve showed me these movies called Star Wars the other day. It's a nickname from that."

"Oh..okay," I replied, not really knowing what to say as a reply.

"We can watch it tonight if you would like?" she offered and I nodded.

"That would be good." However, from the expression on her face, I could tell something was the matter. She was worried, most likely about the interview tomorrow night. She smiled at me, but I could tell she was hiding her feelings. "What's wrong?"

She frowned, trying to cover up. Lying didn't seem to be her speciality. "What do you mean?"

"Is it tomorrow?" I asked, though I fully knew the answer and so did she. Wanda pulled her hands away and tucked herself into a sitting position, her legs folded together. She stared down at the bedsheets and bit her bottom lip.

"I can't say the wrong thing. The whole world is going to be watching me. It's a little bit more than nerve-wracking." She moved her head a little closer as if someone was in the room and she had to be quiet."I'm not Natasha. I can't put on an identity and think up witty comebacks on the spot. I'm can't make a cover story."

I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to help, but I only had one idea. "We can go over the news together. We'll figure out what you say. I've lied my whole life and if you need to, you will be able to as well."

She shook her head. "That's the thing," she said, looking me straight in the eyes. "I don't want to lie." Wanda was too pure for a place like this, so were many people in the Avengers Tower. But Wanda was the purest by far. She had a good heart with good intentions, wanting to do what was right by her people from the beginning. I couldn't, wouldn't mould her into a liar like me.

"Then don't. It's your choice." I spoke truthfully. She didn't smile, but she didn't seem as uncomfortable as she did before. She should be able to speak her mind to the public without being judged, but that was never going to happen.

"Okay," she said, a small smile on her face as she stood up, heading to fetch her laptop. Every movement from her was so graceful, even when she was using her powers. Yes, she was strong and powerful, but she always did it with grace.

 **I only got two reviews on the last chapter. If you have a moment, then please take time to review, even if it is only a few words. Thank you for reading my creation:)**


	12. Chapter 12

**WARNING: SLIGHTLY MORE MATURE IN THIS CHAPTER! But only slightly**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Heh309 -** Thank you so much for such a detailed response! I love how you like the way he admires her. Yeah, I think its good for them both to share. I will try and add something in their about a fandom one day. ;) Thought I need to watch GOT. I know! Its a crime that I haven't yet! Haha!

 **SlytherinAvengerPrincess -** Yes indeed, he is a precious cinnamon roll! Such a previous bean! Yeah, they are both quite similar. HE IS SUCH A GENTLEMAN! Im glad you've fallen in love with him! Hehe! I already have! Please review again, I really appreciate it SAP (Just a nickname :p)

 **Guest -** Thank you so much. I'm glad you are enjoying the slow build. Yeah, I agree, I wanted to build a foundation for them to work on.

 **Guest -** Im glad you are in love with them! Haha! Yeah, I want to hug the little chickens too! Im glad you want me to continue writing. I really enjoy it and the reviews are really helpful, so thank you.

 **Tanithlipsky -** Thank you my darling! Short and sweet, but thank you still :)

 **China2009 -** I am updating right now :p I'm so glad you love my story, it takes a long time to think of what I plan out for the characters

 **Bakerella -** I really appreciate your review and thank you for loving my writing! I wish I could write 24/7, but sadly I get quite busy with other things :(

 **Shelia Uwmaki -** Beautiful name, if that is your real name! I'm so happy that you like them together and that I can create two characters with good chemistry. YOU ARE NEVER TOO LATE FOR THIS SHIP! Haha! Thank you for liking the flow of the story, just thank you so much for reviewing!

 **This is a bit of a slow read at the beginning that just recaps the events of Lagos, so don't feel bad if you skim over. The next chapter will be more interesting and pure content filled like usual :)**

 **Wanda POV**

"Jesus..." I said, scrolling through the hate comments of yet another YouTube clip. We had been looking through them for about two hours.

 _"Let's fill in on the details of the attack first and where it all began._ _The Attack on the IFID Headquarters, recently named the Lagos Catastrophe, was an open confrontation between the Avengers and former HYDRA agent Brock Rumlow in Lagos, Nigeria."_

James and I were watching an overview of the events by Christine Everhart or 'the broadcasting bitch' as Tony would often refer to her as. I never delved into why.

 _"During the Battle at the Triskelion in DC two years ago, Rumlow barely escaped with his life, but gained severe facial scars and was subsequently hospitalized. Several months later, he assaulted his nurse and successfully escaped from the hospital where he was staying. There has been a manhunt ever since."_

I could feel James tense next to me when they showed Rumlow's face. I was going to place my hand on his, but I could only reach his metal one and decided against it. I didn't want to trigger him. I smiled at him hoping he would find some comfort, but he didn't seem to notice me.

 _"Recovering items from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s research and development labs, Rumlow set up an arms sale in an attempt to draw HYDRA out of hiding. Upon learning of their arrival, Rumlow opened fire on them as a way of telling their superiors he was no longer a member of HYDRA. Taking up the alias "Crossbones", Rumlow went on the run and subsequently aligned himself with a faction of foreign mercenaries, unaware that Captain America and the Avengers were trying to track him down."_

 _"Seeking to draw out the Avengers, Rumlow_ travelled _to Nigeria and planned to steal a biological weapon from the Institute for Infectious Diseases in Lagos. Captain America, however, uncovered Rumlow's plan and the Avengers set towards Lagos. This was the beginning of a plan that resulted in the deaths of over 26 people and cost 14 million dollars in property damage."_

Why did she even need to mention the property damage? The deaths were surely far more important. She was just doing her job, I guess.

 _"The team has been analysing the cameras in the area at the time. Upon arriving in Lagos, Scarlet Witch and Black Widow decided to go undercover while Falcon positioned himself on a rooftop overlooking the city."_

"Why is she saying my name like that?" I said, pausing the report and staring at the presenter.

"Like what?" James asked and I frowned at the newsreader. Tony was right, she did seem like a bitch.

"Like she hates me. She hasn't met me. I thought newsreaders weren't meant to be biased," I said, sitting up against the headboard of the bed.

James raised his eyebrow up at me. We were sitting on my bed searching through articles and press talks on the 'incident'. "I think you're overthinking it. She isn't saying it in a weird way." he replied.

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking at Everhart's facial expression. She didn't seem very happy. Perhaps she just hated her job. He nodded and pressed play himself to allow the video to continue.

 _"A truck had driven through the entrance of the IFID and Rumlow's mercenaries started firing at several security guards stationed outside the building. As poisonous gas flooded the complex, Rumlow searched for a bioweapon in the facility._ _Converging on the building, the Avengers took down several of the mercenaries while Falcon used his new technological toy, Redwing, to find Rumlow before informing Captain America. After using her powers to lift Captain America onto the third floor, Scarlet Witch focused on venting the gas out into the open air while the others dealt with the remaining mercenaries."_

 _"Rumlow left the building, only to be intercepted by Black Widow. He started to enter the centre of_ Lagos, _but was followed by the team. Black Widow located the mercenaries and found the bioweapon. Captain America subdued Rumlow and confronted him. However, Rumlow activated a suicide bomb attached to his vest. Before it could explode, Scarlet Witch contained the explosion and pushed it up towards the sky. However, she moved it too close to a nearby building and inadvertently destroyed it, killing twenty-six people, eleven of them being relief aid workers from the African nation of Wakanda, which is why the Wakandan authorities were involved."_

 _"Now that we are all caught up with the events, let's discuss. In the studio, we have Will Adams, Jackson Norris and Whitney Lee."_

"Oh boy..." I sighed, waiting to hear the verdict of the panel. It was like being a performing monkey waiting for the approval of the judges.

 _"Who do you guys think is to blame?" Everhart began._

 _"Here I see a few answers to that question - the government, the Captain and the witch." Adams began. People around the table nodded, but not Norris._

 _"I don't believe it is between those three. Captain America is the leader of this team, which means he is responsible for the team's decision." Norris argued._

 _"You wouldn't hold the chief of police responsible for a reckless act of one of their officers, you would hold the officer directly responsible for their mistake," Lee said._

 _"Are you suggesting Scarlet Witch is to blame?" Norris fired back._

James and I were silent as we listened to the answer from the rest of the panel.

 _"Yes, I think she is directly responsible. She obviously still doesn't have control of her powers. Until she had that control, she should not be allowed out into the field. She wasn't under control of her powers when she was fighting in Sokovia and that exploded." Lee answered, her lips smacking shut at the end of her sentence._

Some of the panellists laughed at that. I shook my head.

 _"But she saved many lives and she was trying to control a bomb. You ever tried doing that before?" Norris added._ I was beginning to like Norris.

 _"Think about how many lives were lost," said Adams._

 _"She is certainly a volatile individual who needs to be taken control of and held responsible for this incident."_

 _Everhart railed the argument back in. "President Matthew Ellis held a press conference where he pledged his support towards apprehending the people responsible. The Accords have recently been scrapped, but people don't want to forgive and forget. Someone needs to be held accountable, surely?"_

 _"It's certain that public opinion is dividing following the incident."_

 _"There is a rumour spreading that Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross said and I quote '_ _What legal authority does an enhanced individual like Wanda Maximoff have to operate in Nigeria? What's the opinion on that?" Everhart asked._

 _"Ross makes an excellent point, what authority does she have? What authority does Stark have?"_

 _"Look, I feel we are straying from the point," Lee said angrily. I didn't like her attitude. "People died, someone is to blame. It was Maximoff's fault."_

 _"I agree, she killed people. I think we need to fully understand the impact that has. Families will be without children, parents and siblings because of her mis-"_

 _"Wanda Maximoff doesn't deserve to be congratulated for her hard work if she's going to have a huge downfall like this."_

My goodness, the arguing just kept going on and on.

 _"My opinion is that she should be locked up again."_

 _"Do you think Raft treatment was just?"_

 _"No, that's not what I meant. That is not at all what I meant."_

 _"It kind of sounded like that was what you meant."_

 _"No, it's not. They should be locked away like any other prisoner if they have abilities they can't control. Then the learning process can take place. These aren't humans we are talking about. They are inhuman. She is inhuman."_

 _"I'm wondering how much control she has in general? How safe are we from her? The Avengers protect us, but they are her family. Whose to protect us when some family members fight us?"_

 _Everhart began to speak again. "There have been many death threats directed towards her, some saying it was her intention to blow up that building."_

 _"Whether it was intentional or not, Wanda Maximoff needs to answer for he-"._

I closed the tab. I couldn't hear anymore. "I think I've got the gist now," I said, shutting the laptop lid and pushing it away. I slid down the bed to stare up at the ceiling, James shuffled himself higher to sit against the headboard next to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure? That's a lot to take on."

I nodded. "I'm done thinking about it," I replied, shutting my eyes. I was too tired to watch any more critiques.

 **James POV**

I frowned down at her, watching her wavy red hair around her like an ocean. How did it always look so perfectly wavy? Did it take a lot of effort to make it that way? I could see her breathing slow down over the minute she lay next to me. "Are you falling asleep on me, Maximoff?" I teased, nudging her slightly with my shoulder.

"No, I'm just shutting my eyes, Soldier." She was definitely falling asleep. She had a tiring day, to say the least, and the next was going to be even more so. She was much stronger than she seemed and had a tough heart. She was surrounded by so much death and hatred growing up and I admired how her for it, something that I had only realised over the past few days. Even though she was strong, she looked so little and fragile next to my big frame.

"Can I say something?" I asked, not wanting to disturb her from 'shutting her eyes'. She nodded but didn't open her eyes. I didn't know what came over me to say it but the past few days had made me realise how rude I was to her in the beginning. I completely misjudged her.

"You're one of the bravest people I've ever met," I said honestly. My words came out quickly and a little clumsy, but she definitely heard what I'd said.

I saw her cheeks begin to blush, but she was still frowning at the same time. "I like it. It's not true, but I like the sound of it." I wasn't sure what to say in response to that and decided to not say anything else. We were quiet for a few moments. HYDRA hurt her so badly, but she was recovering extremely well. Her parents were killed when she was ten and then there was her brother, the other half of her life, who was torn away at still such as young age. She was incredibly strong. I only managed to get through everything, because my brain is switched off in some places.

"I'm so worried about tomorrow," she said, resting her head against my side. I tried to ignore the fact that she was leaning on my metal arm. I didn't want to ask her to move. Sighing, I saw the troubled look on her face. I just wanted to comfort her. She had been hurt badly in HYDRA and I didn't want her to be hurt anymore, especially by the public. They had no idea what she was going through, but they would tomorrow. Hopefully, she would have the strength to reveal the truth.

I had my arm resting against the headboard and brought it down to rest on her shoulder. As soon as I placed it down, I realised that it must've been cold, but I couldn't exactly take it back off his shoulder. She didn't seem to mind, quite the opposite in fact. I stroked her shoulder and she moved her head closer a little, or I thought she did. I couldn't let her sleep without reassuring her.

"People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You have to fight back and say 'No, this is who I am!' If you want people to look at you differently, then you have to make them. Tomorrow, tell them the truth. I don't have that opportunity, neither does Natalia, but you do. You can tell them the truth."

She was quiet for a few seconds before her arm was quickly wrapped around me. She was hugging me tightly. Her head was pressed against my chest and I blinked as I tried to relax. I was slowly getting used to her touching me. However, any touch would make me nervous, even hers. Her delicate hands were pressed against my stomach and I could feel the very tips of fingers pressing into me. Nobody had touched me this intimately in a while...a long while. I didn't let it affect me though.

I took a breath and forced my body to calm down. I was good at that. My heartbeat slowed and I felt her grip loosen. I could feel her feather light breaths through the material of my shirt as well as her thumb stroking the side of my ribs.

"How about we watch the film another day?" she asked in a very quiet and lazy voice. She was obviously very tired, but I wasn't sure how to leave. Did I just wait there until she got off me?

"Okay," I replied and within a minute of replying to her, she was asleep. Great.

"Wanda?" I asked in a hushed voice, looking down at the woman cuddled up against my chest. One of her legs had been brought up against me and was settled between my legs. _Well, I'm not moving any time soon._

I spent the next half hour thinking about how to get out of this situation. I didn't want to wake her up, especially knowing that she had her big interview tomorrow. I couldn't just slide out from underneath her. Also, waking her would be bad as she would be nervously worrying about tomorrow all night. Now that she was asleep, I only wanted her to sleep.

Instead of whispering 'Wanda', I whispered another name. "JARVIS?"

For a second, I thought he wouldn't reply. Perhaps my voice needed to be louder, but then I heard the A.I whisper to me. "Mr. Barnes?"

I sighed in relief. "Could you turn the lights off?" I asked, reaching for the laptop that had slid off of Wanda's lap and onto mine with my flesh hand. It was then that I realised my metal arm was the one around Wanda, this metal arm that had strangled people to death was now cradled around this beautiful, fragile woman. JARVIS shook me out of my thoughts as I put the laptop on the bedside table.

"Of course, Mr. Barnes," he said and I watched as the lights dimmed.

Thankfully, I was comfortable in the bed with Wanda and the pillows were behind my head. My back was a little uncomfortable, but I had slept in worse positions. I could put it to the back of my mind. Wanda was in a better situation than I was. People were confused about who I was, my past and the crimes I had or had not committed. I knew the public would need publication to clear my name, but that would put the Avengers in too much danger. My location would need to stay a secret. For how long, I wasn't sure.

I was glad she was sleeping. She would need the rest for the interview. Part of me wanted to be there with her, but that wouldn't be possible. I knew I would be hidden in the Avengers Tower until the press had died down.

I stroked Wanda's shoulder with my fingertips and held her a little closer. I realised then that this had been the first time in a long time that I had slept in the same bed as another human being. It was circumstantial, but I realised that she felt comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed as me. I didn't think anyone had done that before. In her sleep, she moved her arm further around me. I hissed slightly as her leg raised a little higher too, cuddling me like I was some kind of bear. She moaned a little and murmured something, but I couldn't understand what she muttered. I cleared my throat and tried to ignore her touch. I felt nervous and my body felt like my blood was tingling. It was a few seconds later that I could feel my dick harden slightly.

"Shit," I whispered, staring up at the ceiling. I hadn't been hard in so long and desperately tried to get the feeling of Wanda off my brain. It was difficult, especially since she was right up against me, but after a few minutes it went down and I felt relived that I wasn't going to be up all night trying to distract myself. I knew I only became hard because of the close proximity between us. I didn't have romantic feelings towards her, but she was definitely becoming more of a friend than when I first met her. I really enjoyed her company and she was one of the only people that I wanted to find out more about. There was something about her that intrigued me.

Once my 'situation' had calmed, I felt my body become stiff and cold as I realised that I would never be this intimate in a romantic way ever again. Perhaps it was the memories coming back that allowed that particular thought to arise. Every person knew about my past. It wasn't like anyone would ever want to be so close to me.

I looked up at the ceiling and stared into the dark. I could hear Wanda's breathing as she slept soundly. It was ridiculous how quickly she fell asleep, much quicker than me. She snored slightly, but it didn't bother me. I felt monstrous sleeping in the same bed as her. She was the opposite of what I was. She was beautiful and delicate and I could never be as good as her. I shut my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

 **Wanda POV**

I creased my eyelids as I woke up, feeling a slight headache coming on. Maybe I had been using my powers too much. I definitely needed some water and an ibuprofen. I moved my hand on the mattress to push myself only to find it was much higher than usual...and tougher. I froze as I heard a voice coming from the 'mattress'.

"Good morning." James' voice sent shivers down my spine. He sounded gruff in the morning, his voice a little deeper than usual. His tone was smooth and mellifluous. To be honest, it was hot and I felt my lower stomach heat up, but that wasn't what I was trying to focus on. It took me a few seconds to try and think about how I got to bed that night.

I opened my eyes and saw him lying beside me with my hand on his chest and my leg drawn over him. He was starting to become quite the distraction.

"Morning," I greeted, slowly bringing my leg back beside me. I really hoped I hadn't made him feel uncomfortable with me sleeping on him. I moved my hand away, perhaps a little too quickly. "What happened last night?"

"You were really tired after going through the online reports and fell asleep," he answered, not acting like it was a big deal at all. I had only ever slept in a bed with two men, one of those was my brother. It was kind of a big deal to me. Maybe I was overreacting.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, pushing myself to sit up next to him. I could feel the birds nest that was piled on my head as I did.

He shrugged. "You needed the sleep." I raised an eyebrow at him. He did that for me?

"Weren't you uncomfortable?" I would've been in his position. He was so kind and sweet, not that he would understand that.

"Surprisingly, quite the opposite," he admitted in a shy, quiet tone. He sat up next to me. His voice had adjusted now and sounded like his quiet, yet booming sounding, self. "Should I make us breakfast?"

I shook my head. "It's okay," I replied, but then the reminder struck me. I had the interview today.

I looked at the clock - 07:06. Natasha said the interview was at eleven so I had plenty of time. It didn't stop my nerves though.

"How about..." James began, standing up from the bed. "You have a shower to ease your mind and I will go and prepare breakfast. Sound good?"

I looked down at what I was wearing - the sports bra and leggings from last night. Maybe a shower was a good idea. "Sounds good," I echoed and watched as he left the bedroom, stopping at the doorframe to throw a small smile my way.

I flopped back on the bed. What had I gotten myself into? Was I the type of person to sleep with a guy in my bed now, even if it was accidentally? But another part of my brain argued that I was comfortable enough to fall asleep next to him. I shook my head. It was like that, it was an accident, not that I minded him being in my bed. He was surprisingly comfortable for all that muscle. I didn't need to properly check him out to note that he was rather buff. A blind person could see it.

I pushed myself to stand, though I really wanted to stay in the warmth of the bed. It wasn't as warm now that James had gone. I walked into the bathroom and took a second at the doorway to look at it. I was still adjusting to how big the bathrooms were. It was practically the size of the bedroom my family and I used to share in Sokovia.

I stripped down and grabbed a towel before I could look at myself in the mirror. I knew there were still scars there and I hated being reminded of my failures in combat. I quickly hopped into the shower and washed.

It would've have been a quick five minutes, but turned into ten when I spent the last five minutes staring into space thinking about the interview. I quickly got out when I remembered that James was cooking breakfast for me. I stepped out of the shower, wrapped in my towel, and exited the bathroom, but nearly darted back in when I saw James walk into my room.

His eyes flickered over my body, quickly examining what I was wearing. I noticed how he hesitated to talk, but spoke regardless. "Breakfast is ready," he said and pointed towards the direction of the kitchen. I honestly could not tell if he was nervous or not.

I nodded and grimaced slightly, holding the towel a little tighter when I felt myself blush. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," he said as he awkwardly averted his eyes and walked back to the kitchen.

Grabbing some clothes, I tried to stop the blush rising on my cheeks as I felt a little embarrassed with myself. I decided to change in the bathroom incase James unexpectantly walked in again. I looked at my towel in the mirror and realised that it was rather short.

I shook my head and slipped into a matching set of Calvin Kleins that Pepper had bought me a few months back. I could never afford luxuries like that in Sokovia, let alone so many pairs of underwear that were in my drawer. They were very comfortable though.

I put on an oversized t-shirt but felt too hot to put on the joggers. I looked at myself in the mirror and touched the ends of the jumper.

"It's not too short to be a dress," I said to myself and shrugged, bending down to pick up the jogging bottoms. After putting them back in the drawers I had, I made my way into the kitchen, being greeted with the lovely smell of eggs. "Mmmm, what's cooking, good lookin'?" I asked in an American accent.

He quietly chuckled, but I didn't fail to notice the small red tint resting on his cheeks. Maybe I should stop with the flirting? I didn't mean to do it, it was just kind of...happening. Perhaps I hadn't had attention from a guy in so long that it's just all coming out in one go. I subconsciously bit my lip to restrain myself from saying anything suggestive. I walked over to him.

"Scrambled eggs with..." I was looking at what he was making when he stopped speaking. I shifted my gaze to look at him and his eyes quickly looked to my face from wherever they were looking. It took me a second to remember what I was wearing. "With peppers and bacon," he finished, turning back to the saucepan of eggs that was looking very delicious.

"Looks delicious." I went to take a seat at the island bar I had in the centre of the kitchen.

"I hope you didn't mind me using these ingredients?" He asked, looking back at me.

I smiled and shook my head. "Didn't need them for anything else." That was actually a lie. I was planning to use the bacon and peppers to make one of my mother's special pasta dishes this evening, but James didn't deserve to be told off for that. I could order more food within an hour anyway.

 **James POV**

I had only seen a few people were such little clothing. One of those people was Natalia on a mission in a nightclub. However, I was in no place to judge Wanda. She was comfortable and probably not worrying about accidentally flashing me, but the interview today. I was also aware that women nowadays tended to cover themselves up less than in the 1940s. It was probably a good thing as people were too prude back then, in my opinion. I didn't allow my mind to delve into how I felt last night. It was completely inappropriate. It would not happen again.

I didn't fail to notice her beautiful appearance. She would've been successful as a black widow, not that I would've wished that upon her or anyone. Wanda didn't deserve to be hurt any more than she already had.

I grabbed two plates whilst Wanda filled up two glasses of water for us to drink, placing them on the table coasters. I took the eggs off the heat when I heard the toast pop. I quickly buttered the toast and placed an equal serving of eggs on each plate. Well, perhaps 60:40. I needed more as a super soldier then she did.

I was taking the plates over to the table when I noticed Wanda wince and reach for her water. "Are you okay?" I asked, putting the plates down as she gulped her water.

She took the glass away and nodded, giving me a small smile to reassure me that everything was fine. "It's just a slight headache, but it's going now."

We dug into our breakfasts and the memories of 'home' came flooding back as they usually did with breakfast.

 _"James, don't be greedy. Share equally with your sister."_

 _I scooped up some of the eggs and plopped them onto my sister's plate. "Good boy," my mother said and sat down with us._

"Oh my goodness, this is amazing. How did you know how to make this?" I saw her face light up in delight.

"My mother used to cook it for our breakfasts many mornings. It's one of the only memories I have of her."

"And we will find more," she said with an enthusiastic smile before returning to eat her meal. For how often she said she was a bad person, Wanda was very optimistic and it was one of the things that made her such a good friend. She made me see the 'light' in myself that I was apparently blind to.

Once we finished our food, I decided to leave her to get ready for the day. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" I asked for the third time after finishing the washing up. I just wanted to make sure she didn't feel alone.

She rolled her eyes at me. "For the last time, I'm going to be fine." I could see the small smile on her face. I was glad she wasn't too annoyed at me, but I knew not to ask her anymore. I didn't want to annoy her.

I nodded. "Do you want me to visit you later?" I asked, but she shook her head.

"I'll come to you after the interview," she assured me and walked me to the door. I felt bad for leaving, but I wouldn't go against what she wanted.

"Don't let Natalia be too harsh," I warned as she opened the door for me to leave.

"I'll try not to." I worried about Wanda. No matter how strong Wanda was, Natalia would definitely be able to manipulate her. Hopefully, she wouldn't though.

 **WOW! WOW! WOW! Thank you SO MUCH for the multitude of reviews. It really motivates me to post quicker. If I get as many reviews as I did last week, I will literally post in 7 days! IT JUST MOTIVATES ME SO MUCH! I really appreciate your support :)**

 **On another note, my mother seems to be doing better! I did volunteering at a Macmillan centre in Sussex the other day and it just made me feel so good! I just want to help out so much more though! But yes, mum's walk is improving slightly. The brain tumour doesn't seem to be growing, but glioblastoma is a type of brain tumour that just keeps growing back. If anyone ever needs to chat about ANYTHING, whether it be about cancer, a brain tumour or your home life, just send me a message and I will gladly chat with you about it :) Honestly, feel free to send me a message.**

 **THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! Fanfiction really allows me to stretch out my imagination. Thank you for your support and please review if you can**

 **Abstract0118 xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Response to reviews:**

 **Guest -** Thank you so much for reviewing, I have no idea who you are so if you don't want to make an account, just leave a letter or a made up name or even like a Guest 1 at the bottom of your review so I know who you are. Thank you for writing such a long review as well, I honestly really appreciate comments back in such detail. Yeah, I think it would've been natural for him to get hard during that type of proximity, like you said, especially since he's been kept from that for so long. Yeah, I trrriiieedd not to hurt her in this chapter. Hopefully you'll like the way she reacts to Nat giving her shit. Hahahaha! Yeah, I don't think she'll be listening to him in the future on that type of thing :p 3

 **tanithlipsky -** Thank you muchly :) I'm glad you liked it

 **SAP -** This is the future of everything. You will definitely be known as SAP from now on! Yeah, I thought it was interesting to put in because it doesn't only show a true male's reaction, but it kinda does show that he is becoming more human like you said. Yeah, it wasn't Wanda's fault. I feel so bad for her :( Poor lil' chickie.

 **StarWarsandDisneylover -** Thank you SO MUCH! I'm glad it's one of your favourites, that really means a lot to me. Yeah, it is quite difficult to keep up with, but I don't mind. I really enjoy it and I try not to let people pressure me :) I just write when I feel like it.

 **DarylDixon'sLover -** Thank you for always supporting my storriieess. Honestly, I love seeing your name pop up. Yeaaaahhh, if you're hoping Nat treats her kindly, you won't find it in this chapter. Perhaps in the future ones though ;P

 **Heh309 -** Thank you for another review :) Love getting reviews from you. Yes, they are FREAKING SWEET! And yeah, bless him for getting all excited! Haha! He's only human after all ;) Really appreciate the review, so thank you. I've picked up how many times you've reviewed, so thanks for the continued support

 **Wanda POV**

"Shit..." I muttered, shutting my eyes and leaning my head against the wall. I wasn't ready for this. I really wasn't. I knew I would force myself to do it anyway, but I was struggling to think straight. Half the research from last night had gone out of my head and I was still distracted by thoughts of waking with James this morning.

"Maximoff, get it together." Natasha was really starting to piss me off. I wanted to slap her.

"Easy for you to say," I snapped back.

"No, it's not. I did this exact same thing three years ago, so shut up and get your act together."

I turned around to give her a piece of my mind but she was already walking away from my dressing room. She slammed the door behind her. I sighed and turned to the huge mirror, trying to let the anger towards her diffuse a little. "Get it together," I whispered to myself, repeating Natasha's words.

A member of staff quickly popped their head in. "Five minutes until you're on. I'll wait outside for you, Miss Maximoff." I barely saw the man's face who had told me the information before they had disappeared.

I stood up and brushed off my dress. I didn't know what I was brushing off, but it felt like something that needed to be done. I was wearing a smart black dress and my hair had been professionally positioned in a tight ponytail. I hated it because it hurt my head and it didn't look like me. My hair was usually styled in a messy bun.

However, Natasha had clearly stated that I needed to make a good impression. I tried not to fiddle with the mic on my dress as I scratched an itch on my neck. I heard a knock at the door and took that as my queue to leave. I nearly fell over my heels as I reached the door handle, but managed to recover. Let's hope that doesn't happen on stage.

The man standing outside escorted me from my room to the stage door. I could hear the muttering of the audience, the camera members talking amongst each other and the presenter shuffling her papers together at her desk. I could also feel the excited energy in the room. It relieved me that nobody was currently scared.

"Everhart will ask you a few questions," the man explained. I read his badge - Derek. "And then the audience will be allowed to ask a few questions."

"What will she ask me?"

"Just this and that, some stuff about your childhood."

"ONE MINUTE TILL SHOWTIME!" I heard someone shout from beyond the stage door, obviously the producer or director.

"One piece of advice I will give you is that you need to be prepared," he said at the same time as texting someone on his phone. He only looked up for the last sentence. "No question is off limits with this woman."

"Great," I muttered back, but he was too interested in his phone. I noticed the countdown on the wall which was now at 20 seconds.

"It's going to be fine," Natasha said from behind me. I spun around, forgetting that she was even meant to come on stage with me. She would be assessing the questions asked and guiding me if I said something wrong or if a question wasn't appropriate.

I nodded and turned back to the door. "Maximoff, you'll be on first to be followed by Romanoff."

The countdown reached zero and the 'ON AIR' sign lit up red. I breathed out and calmed the red energy inside me. We did not need an incident right now. "And I would like to welcome to you our guests today - Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff." Derek opened the door for us to walk through.

"Camera on door," he said into the mic, whatever that meant. "Go!" He ordered, looking at me like I was stupid. I hadn't been given many directions so I didn't think I was being stupid.

Natasha nudged me slightly and I nearly stumbled onto the stage but managed to recover and walk sensibly over to Everhart who was smiling sickeningly at me.

"Wonderful to meet you," she greeted with what seemed like every single tooth on pearly white display. She was practically gleaming with all the falseness - makeup and personality.

I smiled nonetheless. "Pleasure to meet you too," I replied and returned the hug she offered to me. Natasha greeted her the same way, though I think they had met before.

"Now, let's get down to business. Recently, the press hasn't been awfully positive about you," Everhart said, clasping her hands together.

"You could say that," I answered with a shrug.

"I would like to know your side of the story. What happened in Lagos?"

"That's very down to business." I didn't like this woman. Not one bit.

"I don't like to mess around."

"As most people know, we were chasing Rumlow. He managed to escape the facility and make his way into the town to escape with a chemical weapon. Romanoff thankfully stole the weapon back," I said, smiling at Natasha, even if it was the last thing I wanted to give to her right now.

"Rogers and Rumlow," being careful to use Steve's last name. Natasha told me not to show any attachment to anyone in particular. "were fighting in the city centre. He released a grenade and I contained it. However, when I..."

I stopped for a moment. Natasha had told me backstage just to breathe and consider carefully what I said before I said it. "When I forced the bomb away from civilian life, it grew stronger, the explosion powerful against my forcefield. I pushed it as far away as I could, but the result ended up being disastrous. However...I understand how my actions affected people. I understand why people hate me and, from the bottom of my heart," I said with tears in my eyes as I looked at the camera and addressed people directly. "I'm sorry."

There was silence in the studio. "I don't expect to be forgiven, I don't expect people to move on. But I'm training to improve myself."

"The team will only be stronger now," Natasha added. I didn't think I was very good at this, but I was glad Natasha was with me...no matter how much she was pissing me off outside of this interview.

"Well, I'm sure everyone is relieved to know it's going in a positive direction," she said, looking down at her notes. "I would like to delve into your childhood a little. Can you tell us about your family?"

My fake smile dropped a little when she said that. It was difficult to talk about something so private. "My parents, Erik and Magda, died when I was ten in Sokovia. We were having dinner." I decided to push myself through the interview and get all the facts out in one go. If I thought about what I was saying, I knew I would break down. "A mortar shell hit our apartment building and killed them as well as trapping my brother and me in the house. A second shell hit the house, but it didn't go off. Pietro and I were trapped for two days staring at the shell not going off."

I decided not to mention the fact it was a Stark Industries bomb. I didn't want Stark to have bad press for that. "Because of that experience, we grew up hating America and took part in many protests against the Avengers, thinking they were a bad force. Obviously, I don't feel the same way now," I said, hearing the audience laugh at that.

"When we got to eighteen, Sokovia was practically a war zone. Foreign forces were constantly invading our streets and my brother and I became desperate to fight against them. HYDRA approached us, not that we knew their real agenda." Some members of the audience mumbled and groaned when I mentioned HYDRA.

"They exploited us and..." I briefly looked around the audience. "...tortured us. They used a weapon Loki brought to Earth that caused the battle of Manhattan to give us abilities. My brother has super speed and I have my abilities."

"And what are those abilities?"

"Telekinesis, telepathy and energy manipulation. This red energy," I said, lifting my hand and letting the power flow over my fingers. There were a few gasps in the audience, but I kept calm and focused. "It's called psionic energy and I have the ability to manipulate it in order to fight enemies. Romanoff has taught me how to mask my accent and blend in as well as training me in fighting."

"What happened after HYDRA had captured you?" She knew exactly what happened to me. The way she said it, the way she looked - she knew.

"Pietro and I fought with the Avengers against Ultron on Sokovia and...well..." _Just say it and then the hard parts over with._ "He was protecting Barton when he was shot with twelve bullets to the chest." The room was silent again. "He died protecting a member of the team that I practically see as a father figure."

Natasha coughed. That was the signal that I was verging away from the point of discussion. "It was difficult getting over Pietro's death, I don't think anyone can just get over it, but the Avengers have really supported me with the pain I was dealing with. They are like a family to me."

The presenter nodded and smiled at Natasha and me. "But doesn't that conflict with your missions?"

"Families can fight, but if we have any issues, we make sure to iron them out smoothly," I answered, hoping it was the right thing to say. Natasha didn't cough, so I saw it as a good sign.

Everhart nodded and turned to smile at the camera. "Now we are going to turn to our audience members" _Shit._ "who will be asking a few questions."

I looked at the audience who had their hands raised. The presenter pointed to someone and a member of staff gave the viewer a microphone. "Charlie Griffon, NBT News. Do you plan on doing anything to provide support to the Lagos community?"

"Wanda only mentioned to me only last week that she was planning on being part of the cleanup team to help with the damage,"

"And I'm planning to visit the casualties in the hospital in Lagos as well." The reporter didn't even smile at me as he wrote down his notes.

Before I realised, the mic was passed to someone else. "Hello." I heard a shy voice from the crowd speak up. I looked over to see a child standing in the second row. "My name is Alex," the youngest person said. _Oh my goodness, this boy is adorable._

"Hello Alex," I greeted, trying to sound as sweet as I could.

He grinned back at me. "Um...my question is which Avenger is your best friend?"

I could help but smile at that. "I could never choose my favourite Avenger, they are all such wonderful people," I said, not wanting to seem like I had favourites. "Who is yours?" I asked, wanting to know his opinion. He was obviously a fan.

"I like Hawkeye," he beamed, smiling. It was then I noticed the Hawkeye shirt he was wearing.

"He's very skilled indeed. There's no way I could be an archer, that's for sure," I replied, spurring a laugh from the audience. The young child smiled and I was tempted to ask Clint to get the child a signature from him.

"Another question?" Everhart asked the audience. Hands went up again. She pointed at someone with her perfectly immaculate nails. God, she made me want to throw up. My own outfit made me want to throw up.

"Miss Maximoff, do you have full control over your powers or is it something for us to be worried about?"

The questions went on for a further half an hour and by the end of it, I was shattered. I couldn't cope with it for much longer.

"The torture on the raft left scars on my neck, which is why I wear this," I said, placing my fingers on the choker around my neck. "The government thought they were doing what was best for me at the time," I said, lying through my teeth. The government were pieces of shit that could go to hell for torturing me the way they did.

"And that's all we have time for on WHIH World News. Miss Maximoff and Miss Romanoff - thank you. I've been Christine Everhart and I'll see you tomorrow at 10," Everhart said, concluding the interview. The outro music played as the audience members clapped.

The interview surprisingly went well. I didn't make any slip-ups that I can think of and I don't think I insulted anyone. I knew I was a little nervous, but I didn't think I was too bad.

Everhart nodded to us and left, hardly looking at us as she did. _Well...what a delightful woman._

Natasha and I left the building and were sitting in the back seat of the car together. "Did I do okay?"

Natasha just looked at me. "You did okay." Oh, here we go.

I stared forward at the passenger headrest in front of me. "Just okay? What did I do wrong?" I almost saw her take a deep breath.

"You were too emotional for a professional interview. You went into a little too much detail about Clint, you used the first name for some Avengers, your body language was off sometimes and you were a little cold towards the presenter. I think you could've dressed better in order to impress the public."

At that moment, all I could feel was rage. "Stop the car, right now." The driver looked at me for a second, confused, but stopped the car anyway.

"We're nearly at the gate," she argued, but I shuffled to the car door. I could see the Avengers facility immediately ahead, but I didn't care.

"Natasha," I warned, sliding out of the car. I popped my head back in to say what I had felt over the past three days. "JUST FUCK OFF!"

I slammed the car door and used my powers to quickly shoot up into the air. I saw the car roll forward towards the entrance of the facility as I felt above the Avengers Tower. I didn't want to be near anyone, so I flew right to the edge of the field, floating just above the trees.

 **James POV**

Why hadn't she come to see me? I had seen the interview and, even though she had made a few mistakes, overall she did well. I found out some things I didn't know before, like the fact that her favourite colour was red.

Worried and thirsty, I was about to walk into the kitchen when I overheard a conversation. "She just needs time to cool off."

"Seriously, Nat, you could've phrased it nicely or given some constructive criticism, you know?"

"Could've phrased what nicely?" I interrupted, walking into the kitchen to see Clint and Natalia talking to each other.

Clint sighed and shook his head. "Natasha criticised her interview and she got mad."

"Where is she?" I asked, trying not to get too angry at Natalia for insulting Wanda. Deep down, I knew she wouldn't have been nice.

Natalia shrugged and I glared at her. "Natalia, where is she?"

"I don't know, she flew off somewhere," she said, waving her like she didn't care.

Wanda was missing, hurt, and most likely alone. Great. "JARVIS, do you know where she is?" Clint asked. There was silence in the room and we all stared up at the ceiling. "JARVIS?"

"I am afraid Miss Maximoff has restricted me from telling you her exact location, but I can confirm she is still on the premises."

"I told you she just needs time to cool off and she'll come back," Natalia said, giving Clint and me a glare as she walked out of the room.

"God, she can be such a bitch," Clint muttered, grabbing a mug and shoving it in the coffee machine. "I can't believe she would say that to Wanda, especially _after_ the interview. There's something wrong with her."

"There's something wrong with her alright," I commented, storming out of the kitchen. Natalia had no right to be rude to Wanda.

I went back to my room and looked out of the window, trying to clear my mind. How could Natalia do that? It wasn't Wanda's fault all of this happened to her. Natalia kept pushing her and pushing her like she was some kind of pet Black Widow project, but this wasn't the Red Room and this wasn't HYDRA. My face dropped a little at those true facts. The Avengers facility wasn't HYDRA. They wouldn't hurt me that way. The same couldn't be said for the government however.

It took me a second to see it, even thinking that I had imagined it, but I noticed a small glow of red in the distance near the trees. Afterwards, I realised that there was someone floating within the red.

"Wanda..." I whispered and immediately ran out of the room, not thinking to take anything with me. I walked through the rest of the tower acting calmly. Steve noticed me and I could almost see his mouth open to ask me where I was going, but he stopped himself.

"Hey," he greeted with a smile.

"Hi Steve," I replied, walking past him towards the elevator. Things were still a little awkward between us since Wanda and I told him to get off my back, but it was for the best. We would reconcile soon enough.

When the lift reached the bottom floor, I calmly exited and went towards the door. I noticed some people staring at me as usual, but I ignored them as well as the television screen that was showing Wanda's interview. People were so nosey.

I took the long route around to where Wanda was, not wanting to cause suspicion by heading straight to her. It took me about fifteen minutes to get to her, the red light getting more and more distinct.

When I was twenty metres away, I slowed my steps down and kept my eyes on her. I didn't really know what I was doing, but she helped me when she began to float down from where she was perched from high above me.

I stopped ten metres away and watched as she descended to the ground. The tips of her feet lightly pressed on the ground before she put the heels of her feet down too. I couldn't quite see her expression from where I was standing, but I had no doubt that she was upset.

She didn't keep her eyes off me as she stood there. "You can come closer you know," she said in a quiet voice. Her hands together by her waist. She looked awkward, which was the body language she had when I first met her. I didn't expect it from her now that we had gotten a little closer, but I wasn't one to judge. My moods could change on a daily or hourly basis.

I stepped towards her and gave a small smile when I saw her eyes were a little puffy. "I don't mean to intrude..."

"You haven't intruded," she said, shaking her head. She looked up at me with a shy expression on her face. "Did Romanoff tell you?"

I nodded. Her expression saddened when I did. "So...what happened?"

Wanda sighed and gave a sarcastic smile. "I had the interview, she told me I was crap and I told her to 'just fuck off'" she explained, using her fingers to quote herself at the end.

I raised my eyebrows and breathed out. Wanda had a worried expression on her face. "Good for you," I replied with a smile. I was actually quite proud of Wanda for telling Natalia to fuck off. She needed someone to be annoyed with her, not that Natalia would care. It wouldn't even bother her. Natalia deserved to be told off by Wanda.

Her face turned into a smile when she realised I was impressed instead of angry. She looked at the tower with a loathsome scowl. "I'm so pissed at her. She was winding me up for the entire day."

"Just don't think about it right now," I said, looking at her sullen expression. I didn't want her to be sad.

 **Wanda POV**

"It was nice to come for some air," I said, looking around at the trees. Nature always calmed me and the fresh air always calmed my spirits, though my anger for Natasha was taking longer to diffuse. I looked back at James. His spirit calmed me. I think his time in HYDRA, all those centuries spent in and out of being frozen, affected every single part of his being, but somewhere inside his soul was calmness. His meditation must've helped him. I hoped that I was helping him too.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said. He was always so worried about offending me.

I shook my head. "It's fine, it's nice to see your face," I replied, smiling at the ground at my admission. It was nice to see him after the shitty interview I had done with the shitty presenter and the shitty Avenger sitting beside me who was supposed to be my friend. As a friend, Natasha was supposed to support me and perhaps she thought she was doing that, but saying the things she did wasn't the way to go about it. I looked back up at James and smiled, no longer feeling embarrassed about finding his face nice to look at, though it was. It really was.

"Do you want to join?" I asked, rising off of the ground a little. I wanted to show him what I experience, the wonderful feeling of flying and being free. I felt that he didn't see much freedom around here. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Up...there?" he asked, pointing towards me and then the sky.

I laughed at how cute he was being. His surprised expression amused me and I could help but grin at the way his eyes buldged out of his head a little. "It's not that scary," I reassured him, floating around in a small circle.

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say," he remarked with a small laugh. I didn't know why it struck me in that moment, it must've been the way the light hit his face, but the way his beard lined his face made him seem really striking. Without a beard, I imagined he would look much younger, but more like a young adult. I had a strong inkling to fly down to the ground and touch it with my fingers, running my nails through to see how it felt.

I had never kissed a man with a beard before, but my mind wondered if it would get in the way of doing so. Would it feel scratchy or smooth? I imagined him kissing my neck, which would undoubtedly tickle me. My mouth had suddenly become rather dry when I shut it and I realised James was staring up at me a little confused. I reminded myself not to daydream, especially about things that were very unlikely to happen.

James wasn't complete, not in his eyes anyway. I knew that he would only torture himself over being with someone, consider himself a monster compared to them. It was unlikely he would ever be with a woman again, which was sad to think about unless he changed his attitude. I let my thoughts dissipate as I got back to doing what I had planned.

 **James POV**

Wanda seemed to be caught in her thoughts, but only for a few moments. I imagined her mind was full of comments from the press review and pressures from Natalia, so when she shut her mouth, gulped and then looked down at me, I ignored the distracted look in her eyes. As soon as she saw me, she sobered.

A smirk formed on her face and my expression fell as I felt myself lightly being pulled away from the ground, a sea of red energy pooling at my feet. "Wanda," I warned, looking up at her and giving her a stern look of concern.

She smiled softly. "Trust me..." I looked at her questioningly, but she kept bringing me up. _'The Avengers_ isn't _HYDRA and neither is Wanda'_ I reminded myself.

It wasn't like standing on a floor, even though it was solid. It was very odd. The platform was steady, but as we rose it was difficult for her to keep the platform straight. She seemed to be keeping control quite easily though. "Holy cow..." I whispered. There were only a few things I hadn't experienced as a superhuman and flying was one of them.

We stopped only five metres from the ground. "Do you want to go higher or stay here?" she asked, not seeming bothered by the height we were at. _Don't be a wuss, Barnes._

"Higher is fine," I replied but was fascinated we were even five metres from the ground. I had seen Wanda use her powers only a little apart from our telekinetic meetings.

"Don't look down if you're scared," she said in a teasing tone. I glared at her playfully.

"Who said I was scar-" Before I could finished my sentence, she pulled her powers from underneath me. I was falling through the air, admittedly not that fast, but it was still enough of a shock to scare me.

A yelp came from my throat when I initially began to fall, but it stopped shortly after when she caught me two metres from the ground.

When I opened my eyes, I quickly realised that I was hovering over a few people. "Uhh..." I was stuck with what to say and froze. There were about thirty or fourth people standing below me, staring up like I was a pig that has sprouted wings. I hated having attention on me. I wondered whether that was the same with 'Bucky' in 1945. Probably not having seen the display of the commandos in the World War 2 museum and heard stories of his 'luck with the ladies'. I mentally scoffed at the notion.

"Sorry!" Wanda shouted, lowering herself to my level and rotating my body with her powers to stand up. I was solid on the platform again.

"Don't mind them," someone said from the back of the group. It was then that I realised Steve was taking the recruits on a running session. "Keep moving, agents."

The agents stopped gawking at Wanda and I floating in the sky and sprung to action. Steve smiled at us as he jogged past. I was glad he didn't stop to talk. Wanda and I were busy.

Wanda looked at me and smiled. "Shall we continue, yes?" she asked. I nodded and watched the ground below us slowly shrink away. We rose higher and higher until we reached the top of the treeline. My eyes looked down as she created a red platform of energy spanning no bigger tha metres. I followed her lead as she sat down and stretched her pale, long legs.

We both sat in silence for a while, watching people running around the large area of grass and listening to Steve and Rhodes bark out orders to different groups. It had been two years since a commander had given me orders and that was HYDRA. How far I had come since then...

I had been homeless and squatting and searching for scraps of food to eat and cheap, dirty blankets to cover myself in, the last memory I had being dragging Steve out of that river in DC. My memories of him were nothing compared to now. The past two years had been spent researching myself, the Howling Commandos and Steve to see the previous life I had led. Apart from serving the Avengers, I didn't know who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I just knew I had to get better, though that in itself was a struggle.

"You okay?" I turned my head and watched her frown at me.

"Yeah...it's just..." I didn't know what I wanted to say or how to say it. I looked at her worried features, looking somehow elegant even in her anxious state. She reminded me of Natalia a little, beautiful without effort. They changed Natalia, modified her to look better, but Wanda could've gone in there without needing any sort of adjustment. I wondered whether she had adjustments to her body during her time in HYDRA, but she had never said anything.

"Frightened being up this high?" she asked with a smile.

"More like fascinated," I replied, looking at the horizon. I turned to the trees and watched the way even the tops of them swayed. It was breezy being at the top of the treeline, but I didn't mind it. It felt freeing.

I could feel her eyes on me. "What's wrong?"

"I never said anything was wrong. If anybody should be asking that question, I should." I lay back down again and looked at the sky, watching the clouds as they passed above us. I turned my head to look at her. "Do you want to talk about her?"

She contemplated it, I could see it in her eyes. "To be honest, I really don't," she answered and laid down next to me. I heard a sigh pass her lips as she shook her head. " I know I will just get annoyed."

I focused on the clouds. "Okay," I replied simply. Wanda had such a calming presence and I think it was one of the things that attracted me to her. She didn't push me like Steve or judge me like Natalia. I simply liked being around her.

We stayed there for an hour, hardly talking at all. We just said comments now and then to each other about cloud shapes we could see in the sky and I occasionally heard Wanda spitefully whisper 'fucking bitch'. This was her way of letting it out.

 **Thank you so much for all of the reviews :) I read every one and always reply back with each new story post! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **I think that Wanda and Bucky having thoughts about each other is naturally even if they are only in a friendship. I think it's something that people just think about even if they are friends, you know? Like, this is the real word, y'all. Goodness, I'm saying y'all even though I'm British. It sounds strange in my head. Aaaaaanyway, hope you enjoyed it :) And I'll post the next chapter next week hopefully!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I've been trying to publish every Saturday, which I know was meant to be last week, but I've been moving into my new apartment and I went back to Devon for a few days to be back in my real house for a while.**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Bethypie1998 -** HAHA! I love that you just bingeread this, I do that all the time. They will kiss...at some point. Mwhahahaha! I would love for them to just kiss right now, but as you said, you need that slow burn doll ;) Look at me, acting all American when I'm BRITISH (never saying doll again)! Hehe! Anyway, yeah, here's your update! You've only had to wait a week, whereas everyone else has had to wait two, so count yourself lucky! I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter and it's good to know I've raked in another reader :)

 **Guest** \- PLEASE LABEL YOURSELF AS SOMETHING, even if it's cheesecake or something! Haha! I never know which guest is reviewing but it's the one that started their review with **'Wonderful! This is getting better and better'** Yus, you gotta carry that ship strong! Yeah, slow burn and angst is so nice to write. I am so glad that you love my work. I'm glad you think they are fun as well and that you couldn't stop reading - stoooowwwppppp, you're too kind xx Honestly, thank you so much. It's really nice to have such a kind person like yourself reviewing my work so thank you!

 **Guest** \- PLEASE LABEL YOURSELF AS SOMETHING, even if it's banana or something! Haha! I never know which guest is reviewing but it's the one that started their review with **'Wow this is a really really good story so far.'** I am so glad that you think so. I really try and put a lot of effort in you know? Yeah, it's rare that you find a Wanda and Bucky ship nowadays as she is kinda booked for like marrying and having babies with Vision now (well I guess they are both dead so I guess not. Whoops!) Thank you for the review!

 **tanithlipsky -** Thank you so much :) Two verys is a VERY big compliment! xxx

 **SAP** \- Hell yeah, Wanda got fiesty. She's fed up of nat's shit. HAHA! Yeah, she can get on people's asses, but I hope you like the first part of this :) :P YEAH I KNOW! WANDA DROPPING BUCKY HAD TO GO IN THERE! I genuinely thought of it on the spot and was so proud of myself because it's so funny! She's such a little minx really Wanda is, so cheeky :p Nat is definitely pushing her to be tougher, I'm glad you got that vibe. Haha, yes, my own writing makes me fangirl so hard toooooo. Haha! I will take 'lslgjaklfjafka' as a compliment. Thank you! hehe!

 **DarylDixon'sLover** \- Are you as scary as you PP, because I always get a little intimated when I see it like you're actually like Winter Soldier in real life and really scary and if I don't write the right content you're gonna kick my ass? Or did I just overanalyse? Anywho, thank you for the review and yes maybe Clint will kick Nat's ass. Maybe we will never know. hehe!

 **Wanda POV**

"Well, I'm not apologising first." I folded my arms and leaned back against my chair. We were both sitting in the kitchen with the Captain standing at the table end. James was standing in the corner, observing the situation. He didn't need to be with us, but it was nearly time for our training anyway. He probably wanted to make sure a fight wouldn't break out between me and Romanoff. Clint was probably in the same corner for that reason as well.

I was looking directly at her, but her gaze was on the table. "Clint told me what you said, Nat," Cap said, shaking his head. "What's going on?" She looked up at Steve with a tired expression on her face. Was this a joke to her?

She then stared directly at me, which almost made me squirm. Natasha was the definition of intense. I tried not to let her intimidate me, but she just had something about it. It was probably what made her a good Black Widow and interrogator.

"You don't need to apologise for anything," she began, clasping her hands together at the table. "Recently I have been letting my morale slip. I promise I'll try and be more careful in the future," she said, nodding to me and pushing her chair out to stand. That wasn't going to cut it.

"No, 'trying' isn't good enough!" I barked, surprising myself with the noise level of my voice. I saw Steve's eyebrows raise, but Natasha's face didn't change. "We're not done here. Sit down."

For a moment, I thought she wouldn't follow my orders, but she did. She slowly took her seat again and pulled herself back to the table. I needed to let out everything I had been feeling. She needed to know exactly how her words made me feel. "You made me feel like shit. I never want to be forced to feel that way by you again."

She was actually listening to me, I could tell by the look on her face. Her eyes were on me and her body was leaning forward slightly. She looked a little upset to my surprise, her lips looking drawn down more than usual. "I don't want to be angry at you. I like it when we get along."

Natasha and I did get along. We watched movies, had girls nights in with Pepper and went for coffee, but recently she was being a real pain in the ass. "But if you keep treating me the way you do, then I don't want to be your friend."

She nodded as I leaned forward to lean my arms against the table. It felt more intimate and personal to be there rather than be rudely against the back of my chair. "This isn't even about the team, this is about you and me. I don't want to just be co-workers, I want to stay friends."

She sighed and looked down at her hands before focusing on me again. "I know I haven't been myself recently," she admitted, tilting her head to the side. I noticed her eyes flicker up to Clint and then back to me again. I didn't know whether they had some personal issue going on between them, but I was pretty sure they were secretly dating. There was a bet going around - I would be £50 richer if they were together. My mind focused back on the situation when she spoke again.

"I don't want you to feel that way because of me. I'm sorry." Over the entire time spent with the Avengers, I had never heard Natasha say 'sorry' and mean it in a way that wasn't sarcastic. I knew she meant it this time. "I promise I'll treat you better." The room was silent for a few seconds. She actually meant it. She was looking me straight in the eyes and I knew she was giving me nothing but the truth. I was thankful for her honesty and she knew it by the small smile I let show.

"I'm glad you two have sorted this out," Steve said, smiling at the both of us. He was such a dad to all of us.

"Yay," Clint cheered and I laughed at his excited nature. Clint was the 'real' dad to me. "Now hug each other and say that you love each other very much." I rolled my eyes at his suggestion. He was good at lightening the mood - everyone in the room was smiling. Even James had a small smile on his face, which made me happy. His smile was so beautiful, even though he didn't know it. A lot of him was beautiful actually.

"Shut up, Clint," Natasha joked and stood up.

I stood up too and walked around the table towards her. I saw her smile before I brought her into a hug. "Shut up, Nat."

She hugged me back, her hands only loosely around my ribs. My grip was a little tighter. I loved her really, but all families had their problems. We just had to work through them.

"Thank you," I whispered, closing my eyes as I kept hugging her. She knew that I had forgiven her. I was glad we were getting past it because I didn't need drama with her on top of the rest of my life. She shouldn't have said that things she did, but she apologised and an apology from Natasha wasn't heard all that often.

After we pulled away, everyone cleared out of the kitchen apart from James and I. Clint smiled and nodded at me as he left with Natasha.

James glanced at me once the room was empty. "Training?" he asked and I nodded.

 **James POV**

She went for a kick to my side that I narrowly avoided by ducking underneath it. Wanda was quick, but not very powerful. The kick wouldn't have hurt that much. HYDRA trained her abilities, not her muscles. Natalia had been focusing on her strength more, but only over the past year and I doubted Wanda went straight into a high protein diet with 5 hours cardio training immediately. I knew for a fact that she wasn't doing that currently going by the state of her body and her fighting power. "You need more strength behind your attacks."

"I'm...trying," she grunted, aiming for my face with her fist, but coming 20cm shy of it. Whilst her hand was returning back to protect her face, I lunged forward, rotated my body to the left and used my leg to sweep her to the floor, ending in a crouch. I quickly stood up again, watching as she got up from the floor. She shook her head with a slight smile. She wasn't annoyed at me, more at herself for not concentrating on my legs.

Her eyes were now so focused on the movements my feet were making than she didn't notice the light punch of my fist that pushed her backwards. I only wanted to punch lightly with her, not wanting to damage her. "Eyes up," I instructed as she got up from the ground. She was better at sparring than I thought but was still very weak. Her muscles were shapeless and her small frame definitely wouldn't intimidate her enemy. She was skinny, not strong. Her bones stuck out more than they should, which made me want to ask how much she ate. I knew that would've been invading her privacy though.

She quickly stood back up and swung her leg out to hit my side. The hit was sharp and fast. I moved backwards, but she kept advancing towards me with punches and hits, some of which she missed. I was glad she was getting the hang of it. I decided to let my defences down and fight a little easier for her. She wasn't going to learn how to defend herself against me at my full power.

She grabbed my arm and tried to take me down using a move of Natalia's by attaching her legs around my neck. The idea of the move is to gain enough momentum to take the enemy to the ground, but she didn't have enough speed before performing the action. She ended up around the back of my neck, sitting on my shoulders.

"Fuck," she quietly swore, realising that neither of us were going anywhere. I tried to keep my chuckle quiet as I heard her swear. I was giving her a shoulder piggyback, which was also quite amusing.

"Don't stress about it," I told her, bending down to get her off my shoulders. She went to the edge of the ring and put her arms on the top band. Looking around the room, I noticed that there were a few people sparring and training. Happy was training with Stark, Pepper was working out with a personal trainer and Clint and Natalia were sparring together, but there were about thirty other normal agents scattered around the room too. I didn't know anyone apart from the Avengers.

I turned back to Wanda who was starring at the closest wall. I walked over to her to try and make her motivated to keep going. I leant against the side of the ring, facing her and watching her face as it looked straight ahead. "I weigh 260lbs, you can't weigh more than 132lbs." She nodded, but still looked at the floor. "It's not a surprise that you can't beat me." She didn't say anything.

I sighed and slowly brought my hand up to her face. I didn't want her to panic or think that I was sneakily going to attack her. I touched her chin and lifted it so that she looked me in the eyes. She didn't believe in herself enough, which was a shame. She had potential.

Her face was so fragile and delicate as if I squeezed her face enough with my hand it would break. I had to clench my jaw when I realised that I knew from experience it was possible. I let go of the hold on her chin as she turned to face me, both of us with our sides to the ring bands.

 **Wanda POV**

What was he doing? When he tilted my head upwards, I realised how close he was to me. His eyes were a beautiful shade of blue that I hadn't noticed before now. I had to take a deep breath as I was stuck staring at him. He didn't realise how delicate he was. I knew he realised I was delicate and fragile, but I saw him in that light too. He was breakable and I wanted to protect him from the forces that would try to hurt him. He didn't deserve any more shit in his life.

"You may not feel strong enough now, but you will be," he muttered with a small smile. His smiles were always small, but I didn't mind. It was sweet how shy he was. I liked his introvert nature - unnerving, calm, thoughtful and with a will to do right. I was lucky to have him around me.

"But I keep getting things wrong," I argued, tilting my head to the side. I hated that I wasn't strong enough. I definitely needed to work out more with Natasha or James or whoever would let me train with them.

"That's only because you've learnt how to fight without your powers." He pointed behind him to the other side of the ring. "Your lead up was really good," he said, referring to my constant stream of attacks against him.

"You were holding back." It was obvious he was, even from the first day he was holding back. But each time I trained with him, he seemed to hold back more and more. It made me feel like my victories weren't actually victories, but James just letting me win.

"But you won't be facing super soldiers in the field," he said with a shrug. He folded his arms across his chest. He seriously needed to wear something less tight or at least leave some breathing room for his biceps. Steve did too. It was unfair that we were surrounded by enhanced, muscly men, especially when they looked like James. _Not the time, Wanda._

"We might," I argued, getting back to the point at hand.

"Steve's never had to apart..." I saw his face drop slightly when he said that. "Well, you know what apart from." I couldn't imagine the guilt James must've felt when he realised that he had fought his supposed best friend. However, James was right. Steve had never fought another super soldier apart from the Winter Soldier. "Besides, even if you don't complete the end takedown in battle and you're sitting on the enemy's shoulders, you can strangle them from your position." I nodded and shook my arms as some form of subconscious preparation to fight.

"Let's go again," I said with determination, raising my fists to show I was ready. He smiled and nodded back, raising his fists too.

We performed the fight again and again until I managed to take him down. When I couldn't get the momentum to swing myself the whole way around, I focused on maintaining balance on his shoulders and pretending to strangle him with a wire or wrapping my arm around his neck.

I fell off a number of times, one time nearly ending up with me landing on my neck. Thankfully, James quickly spun around and managed to catch me before I could hit the ground. He caught me upside down, his hands grabbing around my hips. I squealed as he did, fully expecting to hit the floor. It hurt slightly, but I was glad my head didn't get crushed into the ground.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he lowered me to the ground. It felt a little like payback for me dropping him in the field above Steve and his running squad earlier that day.

"Yeah," I replied, taking a deep breath in. The fall scared me a little. "I'm okay." I stood up and faced him again with my fists up. He nodded but still looked a little weary as we began to fight again.

The final time I did it, I was tired of fighting but determined to finish properly. I ran up to him, power in my strides, and managed to hook my legs around his neck, spinning myself around the full rotation. I slammed him down, my feet overshooting a little which meant I landed on his chest rather than hovering over it. I didn't care. I had performed the move. I did it. There was a surprised and happy expression on his face as he looked up at me.

"HA-HA!" I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. I quickly brought them straight down and looked around the room. Everyone was staring at me. Natasha raised her eyebrow at me and I just sheepishly smiled in response before looking back down at James. I could feel heat form on my cheeks from embarrassment.

James was quietly laughing at me and I shoved his chest lightly. "Excuse me, soldier, but I just completed the move I've been trying to do for the past half an hour."

He smiled at me, a genuine smile this time. "And I am very proud of my student."

At that moment, I desperately wanted to hug him, but I knew that with an audience he would feel uncomfortable doing so. I wanted to properly celebrate though. I needed to think of some way to reward him. Perhaps cook him dinner? I laughed at him calling me a student and started to get off of his stomach, even though I was very comfortable staying there for longer. He was very warm.

"Hey," a voice came from the side of the ring. I turned around to see Natasha leaning against the ropes, Clint beside her playing on his phone. "We're going to go and grab some dinner. Do you want to come with us?"

I looked at James who had now pushed himself up to a stand. There go my dinner plans. To be fair, I didn't have anything decent I could make from the stuff I had in the fridge anyway. "Sound good?" I asked James and he nodded with a smile.

"They are serving lasagna in the canteen and neither of us is feeling up to cooking," Clint said, as we took our hand protection off.

"Alright," I replied. James didn't look so keen anymore.

 **James POV**

I had never been to the canteen before. I hadn't been to a canteen in a long time. I wasn't allowed outside the outer premises of the Avengers facility, which went all the way up to the front gates. It wasn't too bad. I had been confined to less.

As we walked towards the canteen, I felt Wanda's presence somehow, not physically but through her energy. I looked at her, wondering if she knew what she was doing. She simply smiled at me.

 _'Hey'_ I heard her small voice whisper. But...her lips didn't move. Instead, I saw them rise into a smirk, noticing my puzzled features. _'Are you okay with us talking like this?'_

I frowned at her, wondering what I was supposed to do to respond. _'Just think of it like sending a text message. You don't have to let me know your thoughts until you've edited what you want to say.'_

I nodded and thought about it for a moment before I knew what I wanted to say. _'Yes, I'm okay with us communicating this way.'_ She nodded, which I guessed meant she's understood my message. It wasn't too difficult to understand - I just had to think about what I wanted to say then imagine it being transferred to her mind.

Clint and Natalia had gained speed ahead of us, so Wanda and I started walking a bit quicker.

 _'Good. I could feel your nerves back there. Are you alright?'_

We went through a set of double doors. I knew exactly where we were and knew that I would have access to a window to escape in an emergency within 5 seconds if I smashed through the walls to my right. Taking Wanda with me would add an extra 2 seconds though. I would have to hold her with my flesh hand whilst breaking the window with my right. Or I could carry her on my back to reduce the risk of her getting hit with glass.

Facing the canteen shouldn't have seemed like such a difficult task to me. It was just people and they wouldn't attack me. It was obvious that everyone here was too scared of me for that. I didn't want people to be. I wished I could explain it to everyone, I really hoped that one day I could. Now wasn't the right time, not that people would listen.

I didn't want to tell her how anxious I felt. I didn't want to admit to her how nervous it would be with everyone staring at me. I just wanted to be normal for her.

I nearly stopped in the corridor as I analysed that last thought. I managed to keep walking. I wanted to be normal for 'everyone', not just for 'her'. That's what should've been my first thought. I stopped overthinking it when she began to talk again inside my head. I think she realised that I was too distracted by my own thoughts to reply.

 _'If it helps at all, I'm nervous too. This is the first time I've been out since the interview.'_

 _'Which you did excellently in.'_ I interjected, glaring at Natalia as we walked closer to the pair. I was still irritated by her criticism of Wanda.

 _'Still...'_ she thought over, trying to ignore my comment. She dipped her head and turned her body away from me slightly as we paced forward. We managed to catch up with the two agents and I gathered that mine and Wanda's conversation had ended there.

"I can't fucking wait for Lasagna," Clint sighed as we approached the canteen door. I felt anxiety eat it's way up my chest, but I didn't let it show. To anyone else, I would've looked like one of the calmest people in the room.

We got to the canteen door and I noticed Natalia give me a side glance. I would place a large sum of money, if I had any, on the idea that she was the one that suggested going to the canteen as some kind of test.

Anxiety continued to climb clench at my heart as Clint scanned the card to let us into the food hall.

 _'You can do this. I know you're scared, but you can ignore them.'_ I looked down at her small little face as she smiled up at me. ' _You may not feel strong enough now, but you will be...once you do this.'_ She just smirked at me and walked towards the door. I scoffed and shook my head. She had the cheek to use the same line I had used on her earlier in training.

In the beginning, when she met me in the airport, she was shy. She had slowly opened up to me since then. I like her slightly playful nature. Maybe it was because she seemed so innocent on the outside. In reality, she was cheeky and swore and not what I expected at all.

It wasn't until she coughed that I realised she was holding it open for me. "Sorry," I muttered, jogging over to the door to follow her in. I was confused when she didn't move from the door frame.

"After you," she said with a nod.

I raised my eyebrow at her. I didn't want to look at the number of people in the room. It was late and I could hear the noise from the room already. "You're joking, right?" I asked, really hoping that she was kidding. I could emotionally manipulate her to go first or even leave if I wanted to or physically manipulate her so she would go in front. Someone pushed past me, but I let them, only having to get closer to Wanda for a second in order to let them through.

"You'll easily see Nat and Clint." I looked down at her sceptically, wondering if she fully knew how people in the room would react. I bet she could feel their fear. My metal arm was out of its sleeve, which meant every single person would know who I was without a doubt. Her face dropped a little. "Unless you really can't, I don't mind."

I shook my head. Shit, she's going to feel back now. "No, it's okay. I'll go," I said and quickly entered the room, which was a huge mistake.

I walked straight into a woman who thankfully wasn't carrying her lunch, but some books that crashed to the floor. A gasp came from her throat from the shock.

"I'm so sorry," I apologised, immediately kneeling down to pick up the books that I caused her to drop. I could hear the room growing a little quiet as I picked some of them up, which didn't help the anxiety at all. Wanda kneeled beside me to help pick some of them up as the woman had quite a few - perhaps 9? It was odd that the woman hadn't reached down to pick up the books too. One of the books was called 'The Feynman Lectures on Physics' by Richard Feynman and Matthew Sands. She obviously worked in the physics department of the building.

I stood up and quickly noticed that the woman wasn't lazy at picking up the books, just very still and very afraid. My ears noticed that the room was now completely silent. The woman's eyes were focused on my arm, then my eyes, then back my arm. She backed away a few steps. She didn't look at Wanda at all, entirely focused on me. I could tell by the way that fast way that her chest moved that she was very scared, I didn't need Wanda to tell me that.

"Stay calm, alright?" That didn't seem to do anything. The woman briefly looked at Wanda as she placed the few books she had collected on top of the pile I had made in my arms. The woman's eyes went back to me.

It upset me to see that this was the effect I had on people. This woman, Freya going by the name on her badge, had never met me before. She had most likely seen the news articles like everyone else in the room. She judged me on the press and what they reported. I didn't blame her for fearing me. "I promise I won't hurt you," I said in the calmest voice I could as I lifted the pile of books towards her.

She looked at them nervously for a few seconds as if they weren't originally hers. Slowly, she reached out and slipped her hands underneath the set of books so that she avoided my hands that were around the sides of the books.

"I'm sorry if..." I was trying to apologise for scaring her, but she didn't stay after I said that first word. It was pointless to go after her, the girl was obviously shy. I shook my head and shut my eyes, a large sigh coming from my lips.

"We can go if yo-"

"No, it's fine." I interrupted Wanda, walking away from where we were standing. I made sure to check no one was in the way this time before I did.

 **I felt like this was a good place to end it, you know? I didnt' want to continue it from there and it seemed like a good point to end on. Also, it's 1am.**

 **IMPORTANT: This is a complete side note. If anyone has any issues they want to talk about with me whether it be girls, boys, work, uni, college, family, anything, just send me a message and I will reply within the day as I am constantly checking my emails. I'm 18, like I don't care if it's about sex or whatever you want. I feel like I'm quite experience with a lot of things, not just sex, but serious shit like university and money problems and death and illnesses, so whatever it is and you feel like you need to get it off of your chest or gain a new perspective on something, then hit me up. Also, by the way, if you want to know a good club in Brighton, then go to Revenge, because it's fucking brilliant.**

 **Also also :P Should I do a Q &A one day? I feel like that would be funny! Haha!**

 **THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! IT FEEDS MY SOUL! LOVE YOU ALL! ALL OF YOU FOLLOWERS AND REVIEWERS ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU GUYS FOR NEARLY 14,000 VIEWS LIKE OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE YOU ALL (have I said that already) AND YOU ARE AMAZING!**

 **Until next week, see you guys then**

 **Abstract0118 (Lucy)**

 **xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Look at me! Updating ON TIME! I am shooketh! Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter - it took quite a bit of thinking :)**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **SAP -** Haha! I love Clintasha so much. Yeah, I'm not a Brutasha fan. The Russo Brothers called it a 'Whedon' decision! Hehe! Thank you so much, I'm sure I'll rant to you about my life at some point. I love your reviews by the way, thank you so much.

 **Evelyn207 -** Yeah, she's such a small little bean - I feel so bad for her. Thank you so much for the review and yes, they ould be better because of each other.

 **DarylDixon'sLover** \- Yeah, I know. Poor Bucky, he's such a sweet boy underneath.

 **Bethypie1998 -** I really want them to kiss too and they willllll, but I do want to get them building a solid friendship first before they realise that they are hopelessly in love with each other! Haha! Yessss, he is turning into mushhh and I LOVE IT! Hehehe! Thank you so much, I really appreciate your support xx

 **James POV**

"Are you okay?" Clint asked. I was staring down at the lasagne I had been given by the canteen staff. It was actually a really good meal. The vegetables were good too - peas, carrots and broccoli. I was glad there weren't feeding the agents rubbish.

Natalia and Clint were eating the same meal that I was. Wanda had asked for a small portion of the roasted vegetable lentils they were offering. Part of me wanted to tell her to get a normal sized portion, but I held back.

We joined Clint and Natalia at their table and after a few minutes of silence, Clint asked that question. Was I okay? In reality, definitely not. I knew I wasn't alright. The people I had seen so far were all afraid of me and I didn't like it. It was good that people feared me, but this much? So much that a young agent can barely nod her head before scurrying off?

"It was not exactly how I wanted the evening to start out," I huffed, piercing two peas with my fork and sticking them in my mouth. "But I don't blame them."

"Hey," Wanda said and placed her hand my arm. I felt her fingers squeeze around my forearm, rubbing it with her thumb. "Once they understand, they'll stop being afraid."

I looked up and saw her smile at me before she slipped her hand away to pick up her fork. She continued to eat as I looked up at the other two. Clint didn't seem to be interested, his focus being on his large portion of lasagne that wasn't as big anymore.

However, we had Natalia's attention. She was expressionless, which wasn't a surprise, but I could always tell what she was feeling. There was a small crease in between her eyebrows that shower her true emotion - suspicion. She noticed how I wasn't put off by Wanda's affectionate touch. I didn't let many people touch me. She went back to eating her meal, but something told me that she wasn't going to just let it go.

"Besides, they'll just have to accept the fact that you're on our side now," Clint said. He smiled at me with a friendly look on his face. I liked Clint, though I wasn't sure what was going on between him and Natalia. Perhaps they fucked every now and then. It was unlikely that she actually developed feeling for the archer.

He was a key part in Wanda's life, that was certain. They seemed to have a father-daughter type connection. I didn't want to get in the way of that, but Clint didn't seem to have a problem with me being around, especially going by what he just said.

"Thank you," I said, giving a small smile back at him. His statement didn't require a thank you, but we both knew what he was trying to say. He wanted me to feel accepted and I felt grateful for that.

Clint nodded in understanding and continued to eat his lasagne. "How was training?" he asked, though I was unsure to whom.

Wanda shrugged. "I did okay."

"Wanda, you did great. Do you think it took me five minutes to master that move? No," Natalia replied. It sounded like she was telling the truth, but she might've been trying to make up for her rude comments to Wanda earlier that day.

"She's right, you did well. You worked hard, so you'll need to stretch out later tonight though," I told her, cutting up a piece of lasagne. I heard Clint stifle a laugh at my words.

"Will you be the one to stretch her out, Barnes?" he asked with a sly grin. I could feel my cheeks redden as I glared at him. God, Barton was repulsive sometimes.

Natalia snorted slightly and I glared at her too. "Clint, you are absolutely disgusting," Wanda scolded, picking at her vegetables as her cheeks turned red too. I didn't need awkwardness between Wanda and I. We were just starting to become good friends and I wasn't going to let comments like that ruin it for us.

"You have your entire life to be a jerk, Clint, how about you take today off?" I asked, eating some more of the lasagne as I watched his jaw drop. Wanda laughed at Clint and stuck her tongue out. She quickly glanced at me, but immediately looked back at her food.

"James Buchanan Barnes, who knew you could be so cruel?" He asked, feigning hurt as he put a hand on his heart. The girls laughed as Clint and I fake glared at each other before grinning. I couldn't think of the last time I had been so care-free, let alone make a joke about someone being a jerk. The last time must've been with Steve in the forties.

 _'Buchannon?'_ Maximoff asked in my mind. I looked at her with a subtle glare. She smiled at me, finding out the new embarrassing secret of my middle name. I like how we bantered with each other and I was beginning to like doing so with Clint too.

 _'Not another word, Maximoff,'_ I warned before eating a piece of broccoli. Something else was playing on my mind that I needed to ask the group. _  
_

"I want to apologise to the woman that I bumped into earlier. Do you think JARVIS would be able to find where she is?" I asked, watching Natalia's surprised expression at my request.

"The library is your best shout," Clint said, chewing on his lasagne. My mother always told me never to speak with my mouthful. Obviously, his mother didn't teach the same lesson. "I've seen her in there loads of times."

"I'm sure JARVIS can tell you," Natalia mentioned and I nodded. I needed to speak to her and ask why she was so afraid. If I knew how she felt, I could understand how to fix the problem. It was time to start apologising and explaining, one person at a time.

"Anyone up for a movie later?" Clint asked. I was listening to the conversation the three of them were having but was more focused on the rest of the room. About 13 people were looking at me. Some with fear, anger and jealousy.

Steve didn't feel any of those emotions towards me, I knew it. I was beginning to realise that his overprotective nature was only because he was trying to protect me. I was broken and he was trying to fix me.

I think he realised that he wasn't going to have Bucky back, but if he didn't know he would. We needed to have a talk.

It wasn't his fault his best friend was taken away. Those years that he spent waking up and adjusting to the 21st century must've been difficult for him. He was completely alone apart from Peggy, who had aged considerably since the last time he saw her. She was dead. I remembered the way that she walked confidently throughout the base, not taking shit from anybody. I could hear her voice sometimes, but only remember her face from the World War 2 museum. I wish I could remember her.

Thinking about it, I didn't know whether Steve had found a dame or not. I remember Clint or Wanda mentioning something about Sharon Carter a week or so ago. He could've been engaged and I would have no clue, but I severely doubted that he had had time to completely move on from Peggy and find someone straight away.

All the time that we had spent apart, I didn't know what he was doing with his life apart from being Captain America. Perhaps that was his whole life. Part of me wanted to go back to a time where it was so much simpler - the forties. Yes, there was a war and famine, but I had a family, a best friend and happiness going by what the records say. I didn't have any of those anymore.

 _'Are you okay?'_ Wanda asked me through my head. I turned my head and noticed the frown on her face. She knew something was wrong. In reality, nothing was wrong. I knew I couldn't go back and had accepted that, but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it.

 _'Yeah,'_ I replied simply and scraped up the last few items on my plate.

After we finished eating, we got up and put our trays on the racks. As we walked out, the room grew quieter again and I could feel the numerous eyes on me. I decided to go to Freya's immediately.

We all returned to the Avengers floor, joining Rhodey and Sam in the living room. Natalia and Clint decided to join them, but Wanda and I went back to her room. I knew she had the intention to spend an hour training my mind, but I had other plans.

She sat down on the bed and crossed her legs, looking peaceful as she patiently waited for me to sit next to her. Wanda had a certain glow to her that made it impossible to look away, but I didn't move towards her.

"Is everything alright?" She asked with a frown as she realised I wasn't moving.

"Is it okay if I go and speak to Freya first? I don't want to delay with the apology," I explained, clasping my hands together. I felt awful about the cafeteria incident and needed to apologise. I hoped Wanda would be okay with delaying our session.

She looked confused for a moment before realising who Freya was. "Oh...um, okay. I mean, of course. Perhaps you can find me in the living room when you're done?"

She seemed a bit flustered, but I wasn't bothered by it. I nodded and looked up at the ceiling. "JARVIS, do you know where I can find her?"

"The woman in question is currently in her room - C16. I can give you directions if you wish."

I smiled politely at the A.I but stopped as soon as I realised it couldn't actually see me. "Thank you."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Wanda asked, getting off the bed and making her way to the door. I followed her, watching her red curly hair sway elegantly behind her. It was rather distracting when I thought about it. Sometimes I could pick up the sweet scent of lavender from it, but that could've been from a perfume or body soap she used. I shook my head and decided to stop thinking about it.

"Uh...I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll get JARVIS to call you if I need you." The truth was, I wanted her to come with me. I didn't want to be alone when facing Freya, but I knew that I had to do this by myself. It was like I had set myself a task - I wasn't going to keep others around to ease the stress of it. I wanted to do it alone.

She shut the door behind us. "James," she said, touching my forearm like she had in the canteen. The corridor was empty and everything was silent. My super soldier senses could hear the faint sound of a movie playing from the living room.

"You know that I'm always here for you, right?" She asked, tone shy as she placed her other hand on my other forearm - the metal one. I tensed when she did, but after a few seconds, it felt more soothing than threatening. She seemed to accept me, even though I had a horrible attachment to my arm and a monstrous history. She didn't understand the horrible things I had done.

"And I you," I replied, looking her straight in the eyes. I wanted her to know that I had her back. We weren't just two enhanced individuals anymore. We were friends. It was nice to have another friend beside Steve.

She slowly brought her fingers up my forearms, exactly the same as the first time she hugged me. This time I felt more confident. As her fingers reached my shoulders, I reached forward, slipping my arms around her waist and enveloped her in a hug. It was a little awkward and clunky considering how big I was compared to how small she was.

I felt her freeze for a moment, probably taken back by how forward I was being, but she giggled a little and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you," I whispered, pushing my head into her shoulder. I smiled when I noticed that she had to push onto her tiptoes to hug me.

"For what?" She asked. I could feel her fingertips at the base of my neck, her thumb stroking it and tickling the hairs there. It was nice though.

"For being a good friend," I said, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation of hugging her. Apart from Wanda, I couldn't remember the last time I hugged someone that wasn't before becoming the Winter Soldier.

We stayed there for a few more seconds before I slowly pulled my hands away. She followed my lead and pulled back too. There were two women in this tower on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Wanda was hugging me whereas Freya was running at the sight of me.

We walked to the living room and said a brief goodbye before I headed for C16, wherever that was. I went to one of the Stark Pads on the wall and JARVIS gave me directions. My memory was excellent so I knew I wouldn't forget them.

I ignored the looks people gave me as I headed to the accommodation section. People parted to make a path for me to walk through like I was an ambulance with its sirens sounding. I wasn't important so I didn't understand what everybody was making the fuss about.

C13...C14...C15...and there is was. C16. Other doors had colourful collages on the front but hers didn't. It was professional and neat.

I knocked on the door and waited for a reply. I noticed how a girl from the opposite side of the corridor had opened her door. She was staring at me, her lips parted, and her eyes were looking me up and down. Was she checking me out?

My thoughts were distracted when a voice came through the intercom. "Who is it?"

I cleared my throat. "It's me. The guy from the cafeteria. I knocked you over and your books went everywhere."

I was met with silence. I didn't know if she hadn't heard me or if she was just ignoring me. Nevertheless, I stepped closer to the speaker. "I really am sorry. I was hoping you could open your door and have a conversation with me about it."

More silence.

After a few moments, I considered giving up and took a step backwards. But her door clicked.

The door slowly opened and the same woman from earlier was standing there with her head shyly poking out. She reminded me a little of a meerkat.

"Hey Freya," I greeted. I smiled, hoping I would seem less creepy for knowing her first name. She was looking at me with a worried expression on her face. Was I smiling too much? Was I being weird? I decided to dampen how energetic my smile was. Did she find my smile intimidating? My smiling anxiety really needed some work.

"Sergeant," She said in the mousiest voice I had ever heard. She reminded me a little of Steve before the serum when it came to meeting people of the opposite sex. I was pretty sure this was to do with my huge metal arm and criminal record though.

"Call me James, please." She nodded and I continued. "I really wanted to apologise for knocking you over like that. I wasn't looking where I was going properly."

She was barely looking me in the eyes this time, unlike in the canteen when she was transfixed on me. "It's...okay. I s-should've been...looking where I was going."

My heart clenched at the sight of her. She was a petite woman, but sweet. Petite and sweet. It was obvious that she didn't like interracting with people, so being afraid of my can't have improved her confidence. "No need for you to say that, ma'am. It was entirely my fault."

She looked at me for a second before averting her eyes. She nodded. "Is that everything?" She asked, inching the door a little closer.

I could've, and probably should've, just walked away, but I was curious. "I just have one more thing to ask, if you don't mind."

She nodded and opened the door a little wider. I noticed that her room, the small portion I could see of it, was just as immaculate as her door. She obviously liked her personal space and I felt bad for invading.

"Why did you run?" I asked, but then shook my head. "I know why you did, it's kind of obvious," I said, gesturing to the arm. "But I am interested in knowing your particular reason for being so afraid."

I could see her chest rise and fall a little faster. "If you don't mind," I added, hoping it would calm her a little. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"I've heard stories about you..." she said, sounding a little bolder than before. Her eyes met mine and she gulped. "I've seen you kill agents similar to me. I understand what happened to you and I'm sorry that HYDRA did those things, but..."

"It's still scary?" I asked, tilting my head. Her eyes were solely focused on the ground now. I saw her head nod and her red cheeks darken. "I'm scared of myself and what I can do too," I told her, hoping it would bring some kind of comfort to her.

She looked up at me with those shy eyes as if to say 'do you?' Even though the question wasn't asked, I still nodded. "I'm sorry that I scared you."

She shook her head and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry too." I felt like I was having some kind of breakthrough with this woman. She was letting her shy self peel away. Just a little.

"For what?" I asked, wondering what she had to apologise for. I was the one who bumped into her after all. I hoped her books hadn't been damaged from the collision.

"I shouldn't have run. It was rude of me," she explained, bowing her head as a physical apology.

"I've gotten used to it," I replied with a shrug. There would always be somebody afraid of me - good or bad - because of my past. Though, I realised that can't be changed. The past was the past.

"You shouldn't be," she said with a small smile. I smiled when I realised she was implying that people shouldn't be scared of me. She was definitely an introvert, kind of like me, and I appreciated how strong she was being by speaking to me. I nodded my head and she nodded hers as a form of goodbye.

She shut the door after that, leaving me standing outside thinking about what had just happened. Before I could mull over what had just happened, a woman spoke up, distracting me.

"Girl problems?" It was the woman who was staring at me from when I first approached C16. I rolled my eyes before turning to face her.

"I was rude to her," I explained, noticing she was still in the same position that I left her in. She was wearing a crop top that was way too low. Her breasts were almost spilling out of it. She was wearing blue jeans that scooped up her curves. Her brown hair cascaded down the front of her chest. She was beautiful, which was a shame as her personality seemed rather...overbearing. She was chewing a piece of gum as she, very unsubtly, looked down at my crotch and then back to my face.

"Didn't think you could ever be bad, Sarge," she argued with a slow tone. A smirk grew on her lips. Sarge? What was this, the 1940s? She reminded me of Natalia a lot - exploitative and sexual.

"If you ever need someone to talk to," she said with a wink of her eye. "My door is always open." She tapped her door with her palm - C17 - and slowly turned around. She accentuated the sway of her hips as she slipped inside her room.

Fuck. I know it was rude of me to look at her ass as she walked back into her room, but my eyes just went to it. I was more focused on her curves than anything. I hadn't stared at a woman in a long time unless occasional glances at Wanda counted but those felt different, more precious than wasted glances on cheap women. I hadn't looked at Wanda in a sexual way, not that I could remember. Wanda was more important than C17 or even Freya and didn't deserve my eyes prying on her body...even though part of me wanted to.

However, that part of me was someone who hadn't been laid in years, not that I could properly remember any of the men or women I had slept with. The part of me that wanted to have sex was only just coming back, but I didn't know how long it would be until I was ready for something like that. HYDRA had forced me to sleep with people and I never wanted to feel like I was having sex with someone that didn't mean something to me.

I groaned in frustration and headed back to the Avengers floor. There was only one place I was headed - Steve's office. If he wasn't there, I would look in the gym. I didn't want to ask JARVIS. I would rather memorise the building and search around for people rather than rely on technology.

When I arrived, I took a deep breath. The past few days between us had been a little tense. It was time to face the music. I brought my hand up and gently knocked three times.

I heard the strong "come in" boom from his voice. I opened the door and noticed he was deep into some paperwork.

He looked up at me and his face dropped a little. "Buck..." he said and I subconsciously winced at the nickname. Steve shook his head and tried again. "Sorry, James."

"I can come back another time if you're busy," I suggested, trying to put the name mishap behind us. I didn't want to bother him with small unnecessary things. I imagined that the next few weeks would be difficult with him adjusting to calling me by a different name.

"No, not at all," he said, pushing his papers to one side. He was obviously looking into something that required his attention but decided to talk to me instead. I almost smiled at his eagerness to spend time with me.

I nodded at the lie he told and shut the door. "What can I do for you?" He asked, linking his hands together on the desk, and I took the seat across from him.

"Well, I just came to say..." I began, realising that I hadn't really thought it though. What was I saying? Oh yes. "I want to get to know you better."

He raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. "Uh...are you sure? If you want to wait a little longer, you can. You can take as long as you need."

I nearly rolled my eyes. Steve was such a mother hen. "I think I'm ready to give it another go."

I saw Steve smile rise on his face. "Great." It made me happy to know that Steve was pleased. I think I needed Steve. He was an integral part of my life growing up and if I had him as a friend since we were young, I think he deserved to keep that friend in his adult life, especially considering everyone else from that era was dead.

"I think we both know that I'm not the same person," I said honestly, looking down at the table. I felt a bit stupid coming into his office to discuss the issue, but his room felt way too private and the rest of the time the team was around. "But hopefully, we can build up that friendship again?" I said, more as a question than a statement.

Steve tilted his head and smiled at me. "I know you're not the Bucky I grew up with." His voice was soft and gentle like he was afraid I would walk out if he spoke too loud. "but I don't think I'm the same Steve either."

I nodded and looked up at the man. _I'm with you until the end of the line._ The phrase echoed in my head as he smiled at me. Steve and I had pretty shit lives in all honesty. I 'died', was taken captive by HYDRA and used as a weapon to kill people. Steve was bullied, 'died', woke up in a time he didn't understand and was forced to be the American hero that he went under the ice being. We had both been through a lot and needed to talk to someone with shared life experience, which was only each other.

"Did you want to maybe...grab a beer and talk later tonight? I have training with Wanda," I said, shifting in the seat. I didn't like where I was, feeling uncomfortable in an office. It felt like I was a child that had been called into the headmaster's office.

"Perfect. Say, 9pm? In the kitchen? We can find somewhere more quiet to go," he said with a smile.

"Sure," I replied, getting momentarily distracted by the sketch hung on his wall. He had drawn a circus monkey while he was in the war. He had shown me and seemed very excited explaining to me how Peggy Carter had talked with him about it.

When I looked back at Steve, he had a small awkward smile on his face. He always did that when he wasn't sure what to do. "I'll see you later then," I said, standing up and walking immediately to the door. Steve smiled, watching me shut the door.

I began to walk down the corridor to the Avengers lounge. "Well, that wasn't awkward..." I muttered sarcastically.

 **Thank you for reading this! I am so glad I managed to knock it out on time. By the way, with Bucky looking at the girl in the corridor - everyone has urges. Everyone on the Avengers team would've looked at a girl with a beautiful bod, even our saint Captain America. :P**

 **Sorry there was no Wanda POV, but that will all come with the next chapter.**

 **Please give me a little review of how this chapter was, how I can improve next time or any suggestions you have. I really appreciate all the comments you give :) THANK YOU!**

 **Much love,**

 **Abstract0118**


	16. Chapter 16

**Response to reviews:**

 **tanithlipsky -** Thank you so much for the review

 **Evelyn207 -** His urges definitely won't ruin their relationship. I just wanted to put it in there to show that he is a human being and even having his mind brainwashed wouldn't change that primal need. Thank you for reviewing :)

 **SAP -** Yassss, in my mind she stormed in and fucking tore the girl to bits! HAHA! Yeah, Clint is such a babe, just you wait for this chapter! Yeah, I will include the Buchannon teasing at some point. Thank you for offering for me to message you, really appreciate it. Thank you.

 **Bethypie1998 -** Thank you so much :) I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, this is definitely a Wanda POV chapter, James will probably be the next one.

 **Wanda POV**

"John Bender is the best character. You can't make me change my mind." I was watching Rhodey, Sam and Natasha debate their favourite character from the movie we were currently watching - 'The Breakfast Club'. Is this what kids were like back in those days? I hadn't been to school as I was educated by my parents, but if that was what it was like, I wouldn't have wanted to go. It seemed like a bitchy, two-faced nightmare **.**

"You're wrong. Caretaker Carl is the best one," Sam argued, folding his arms across his chest. He could be such a big baby sometimes. They continued to argue about it, not caring that much about the movie anymore. Clint came and sat next to me as the debate continued.

"Maybe we should try and make our escape now while they are distracted," he suggested with an exhausted breath. I quietly chuckled to myself as I watched the three Avengers bicker. He turned to me. "On a more serious note, how are you and Barnes doing?"

I angled my head to look at him, raising one of my eyebrows. "Are you talking about the sex life you suggested us having earlier or are you actually concerned for our relationship?"

He grimaced at me, shaking his head. "Yeah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that. I saw an opportunity of an innuendo and took it." He shrugged and leaned back against the sofa. I leaned back to with a smile on my face, letting him know that I wasn't offended by it.

"It's fine," I said, voicing the truth. I knew that Clint meant the joke in a harmless way, but it did make me feel quite awkward sitting next to the poor man. James couldn't remember the last time he even had sex and I felt sorry for him. It must be difficult for him to comprehend all the things he's done without remembering them. There were so many memories that we needed to uncover and I bet money that we would have more embarrassing moments together. "As for James and I, we are doing well. He seems to be opening up a bit more."

I saw Clint smirk and open his mouth to say something sexual again, but I held up a finger. "Don't," I warned him. We both looked at each other with a grin and laughed, which caught the attention of the others.

"What are you guys giggling about?" Sam asked with a suspicious frown on his face, thinking we were laughing at him or keeping a secret.

"The film," I said, pointing to the screen. Some of the students in the scene were getting high and playing air guitar. The film was rather amusing actually. I needed to watch it from the beginning at some point.

Everybody settled down from the argument and leant back on the sofas to watch it again. "Has he hurt you at all?" Clint whispered, not wanting the others to hear. There was a seriousness in his tone that made him seem much darker than usual. Clint was fun, loving and cared about everyone, but when someone pissed him off he would become a completely different person. His eyes would darken and an angry persona would take over. I didn't like seeing him angry. I placed my hand on top of his.

"You don't need to worry about me, Clint. You know that if he ever does attack, I can defend myself." He nodded and linked his fingers with mine, squeezing my hand. His grip was firm, but never too tight. "And no, he hasn't hurt me yet."

"'Yet' doesn't exactly reassure me," he replied, staring back at the screen. "Maybe I should speak to him."

"Umm..." I didn't know how good of an idea that was. It had taken this much one on one time with James to get him to trust me just a little, so I didn't know how he would feel about a lecture by Clint on how he shouldn't hurt me. "I'll talk to him and voice your...concerns, yes?"

He looked back at me and nodded. "Okay." Like hell I was going to voice Clint's concerns. James didn't need to know how Clint was worried about us spending time together. It might push James away from me and that was the last thing that I wanted when we were just building up our trust.

Clint's expression softened as we continued to watch the film, our hands still held. The archer did scare me sometimes. He would love you and tease you, but when it came down to it, Clint would take a bullet for any of the Avengers. That was a fact. His loyalty was neverending. It was what I loved about him.

I snuggled up against his shoulder as the movie continued. Nobody would ever tease Clint and me about being as close as we were because everybody knew that I admired Clint as a father figure, not a lover. That right was reserved for Natasha, or at least we all thought it was. I doubted Natasha would have the same opinion.

It was nearly the end of the film when I felt James' presence. I turned around and saw him lingering in the doorway of the living. Facing Clint again, I smiled. "I have to go, I'll see you in a bit," I told him, giving him a side hug. I felt him turn his head and press a kiss into my hair as I squeezed him tightly.

"Be safe," he whispered. I never wanted Clint to leave me. He was one of the few things keeping me sane recently. I remembered a moment we shared together back on the Raft.

 _I was pulled back into my cell by the guards after being subjected to an interrogation by Ross. He didn't seem to understand that I had no idea where the others were. My body felt weak from the large number of electrocutions I had received over the past few days. The two guards pushed me into my cell and I fell to the floor. Sobs were threatening to bubble up from my chest, but I forced them down. I couldn't stop the tears though._

 _I sniffled as I turned myself around to face the front of the cell. The guard was still there._

 _"Stand, inmate," he barked, watching me from high above. I looked into his glaring eyes and wondered whether he had any compassion in his heart...at all._

 _"I said stand, witch!" I manoeuvred my body so I was on my hands and knees, but I took my time. As I rotated, pain spread down from my neck to the bottom of my back. Three of my fingers were aching, broken from the muscle contractions my hand had made caused by the electric current_

 _I got to one knee when he spoke again. "Too slow," he taunted and I didn't get the chance to look up at him before I felt the electricity course throughout my body. I couldn't scream anymore, barely being able to talk from the abuse that my vocal chords had received._

 _I couldn't see or hear anything, the electricity overwhelming all of my senses. My whole body felt like it was on fire and I squeezed my eyes tight, hoping that the pain would end soon. I was spasming on the floor for about 5 seconds when the pulsing stopped. I blinked as I tried to get my vision back._

 _My heart was beating at what felt like an impossibly fast speed. I tried to get my breath back, but I was gasping from the shock. A headache I had was turning into a ridiculously painful migraine. The skin on my neck burned from the torture, the most painful part of my body._

 _The guard said something, but his words sounded muffled to me. After a few seconds, my hearing came back, but when I looked up the guard was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief._

 _I shuffled myself over to the see-through cell door and looked over at the others who were all focused on me. "Hey." It was Clint. It was painful and took a few seconds, but I managed to turn my head to look at him._

 _Clint had that dark look in his eyes again, an expression that I usually saw whenever they tortured me. He was very protective of me and I knew he would never stop protecting me. I felt a tear stream down my face. All I wanted was a hug from Clint at that moment. He was all I needed. If he weren't here, I would've gone completely insane._

 _"I promise you, we will get out of here," he said and I could hear the way his voice broke. He was crying too and I wanted to reach over and wipe the tears away, but I couldn't. We were trapped. "I promise."_

I pulled away from him and saw the sweet smile on his face. "Thank you," I whispered. I could feel my throat tighten as my emotions threatened to spill over.

He frowned. "For what?"

I smiled at him and put a hand on his cheek. Feeling my eyes fill up with tears, I blinked and hoped they wouldn't spill onto my cheeks. I could see from his expression that he was worried, but I smiled. "For being a good dad."

His bottom lip dropped a little and he was still for a few seconds, but eventually, his lips pulled up into a smile. "Anything for you, Wanda," he whispered, pulling me back into a hug. We were ignoring everything in that moment - the stares from James and the confused looks from the others. It was just us and I would be okay with that for the rest of my life. He became the dad I needed and it meant everything to me. I wouldn't be here without him.

We pulled away from each other and I laughed nervously. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so serious," I said, raking my fingers through my messy, unbrushed hair.

He chuckled to himself. "Don't worry about it," he replied with a smile. His eyes flicked over to the side of the room and back to me. He nodded over to James. "He's waiting for you."

I nodded and pushed myself to stand, smiling back at Clint. I was so fortunate to have him in my life. He winked at me before turning back at the screen. When I walked over to James, he frowned at me. I wanted to reach up and brush the frown away with my fingers.

"Are you okay?" he asked, immediately concerned about my conversation with Clint. I nodded.

"I'm good," I sighed with a smile and tilted my head to the side. "Actually, I'm really good."

He looked a little confused at my reaction. "But you looked like you were crying."

I smiled at James as we walked towards the bedroom dorms. "In a happy way," I clarified, pushing the double doors open.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," James' soft voice spoke. Bless him, he never wanted to offend anyone, ever. I had never met such a kind person, which was ironic considering his past.

"You didn't." He kind of did interrupt, but Clint and I practically finished our conversation when he came in. I wanted to re-watch the film anyway, so I didn't need to see the ending. "You went to see Freya, yes?" I asked, my Sokovian accent slipping through. Natasha had pushed me to adopt an American accent, but I prefer my native tongue. It was one of the few ties I had to Pietro. I knew my grammar was incorrect, but nobody cared in the Tower.

"Yes, I did," he replied as we approached his door. "I think it went well."

I smiled at him as I opened the door. "Good." I was glad that she didn't run away as soon as she opened the door. He didn't need that after her reaction in the canteen.

"But," _Oh dear._ "this other woman. She..." He shook his head and laughed to himself as we entered my room. I could almost feel him cringe.

I smirked at him, wondering what he had to be embarrassed about. It peaked my interest. "What happened?" I asked, suddenly very curious about what happened on his visit to C16.

"She hit on me." There was a slight blush to his cheeks and his body language was a little awkward. I sat down on the bed and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What did she say?" I asked, feeling something in my chest telling me that I didn't want to know.

"She told me that I could come and visit her any time I wanted to." He almost looked afraid of her suggestion when he said it. James had probably had many offers like that in his life. I wondered how many times he had taken them up on those offers.

"Well, was she cute?" I asked, tilting my head. I was happy for him. He was getting attention from women, which must've been nice for him.

"Yes and no?" he said, sounding very confused.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Physically she was attractive," he said, looking at the floor when he spoke. "But I didn't like the clothes she was wearing and her personality didn't seem great," he replied with a grimace.

I smirked at him. "So...you want her without her clothes and not to talk?" I teased, raising an eyebrow and faintly chuckling at the suggestion. Thankfully, he understood that I was teasing and rolled his eyes. I laughed to myself as he shook his head at my antics.

I don't know why I asked the question, but something told me it wasn't just because it wanted to know how he was doing. "Do you want to sleep with her?"

His eyes widened a little at my question. "No, absolutely not," he said with a _very_ certain tone, his pink cheeks turning to red.

"Do you have that urge though?" I asked as he nodded, grimacing again. He didn't seem too embarassed by that question though.

"I think those feelings have come back, yeah." He didn't seem overly happy about it. I would've been over the moon if I had been sexually suppressed for so long.

"That's great," I said reassuringly, but he didn't look so sure.

"Not particularly," he replied. I frowned as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"Why not?" I asked, glad that he was opening up to me about these things. I can't imagine that he'd had this conversation with Steve.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Who's going to want to have sex with an ex-HYDRA assassin who's killed a number of S.H.I.E.L.D and could kill you within 3 seconds?" he asked, shaking his head. "I don't understand why that girl hit on me either."

"Are you joking?" I asked. He looked at me with a slightly blank expression. I had the temptation to tut at him but stopped myself. I didn't want to be rude or sassy about it. I had to be honest and tell him the truth because he needed to take me seriously when it came to this topic. "You're gorgeous. People don't just focus on HYDRA you know, they know that you are a different person. Plus, she probably has a metal arm kink."

"What?" he asked, obviously confused about the last bit of that sentence. He was already blushing from when I called him gorgeous, but I saw the red darken when he realised what I meant. His face dropped. "Oh." I immediately knew that my comment was one that could've and should've been left out of the conversation.

"I was joking," I said, laughing at the situation, but it came out very awkward and sounded forced. My mind was on his metal arm now, great. I imagined in my head how it would feel against my skin. My imagination went off the rails then.

In my mind, James had pushed me up against the wall and kept my hand secured about me with his metal hand. His lips were attacking my neck and licking at the sweet spots. Suddenly, my thoughts changed and we were on the bed. His right hand was on my hips and I suddenly realised that my top was off.

One of his metal fingers glided up my stomach. In my mind, I laughed as he kissed down my chest. "James," I moaned as his tongue teased my right nipple. It felt heavenly in my head. I gasped and bucked my hips up as he circled my left nipple with his cold finger.

"Fuck," he groaned and I shut my eyes. His fingers slowly drew their way down to my lower stomach. I decided to put a stop to my imagination _right_ there.

"Anyway, s-should we get to it?" I asked nervously, crossing my legs and bringing my hands out that were shaking slightly. I needed to distract myself.

He stared at me with furrowed eyebrows for a moment before sitting next to me. Hopefully, he would think I was shy rather than nervous. I held out my hands and he clasped them. I pushed my mind away from the metal arm thoughts again.

We shut our eyes and entered James' living room that we used as a base, which had become much easier with practice. I was still in my forties outfit and he was in his wartime uniform. _Man in a uniform, really?_

I couldn't help but feel attracted to him in the outfit. I knew that I was only horny because I hadn't masturbated in ages, something that I would definitely need to do either tonight or tomorrow. The close contact between James and I didn't help. I decided it was time to push aside all sexual things related to James. Thinking in that way would allow me to get ahead of myself and that wouldn't be good. I could not see him in that light.

We walked through the door and soon enough we were walking through his memories. The smoke was still there, but as we walked towards the first broken memory, I noticed that it wasn't as thick as before. "The fog's thinner," he noted and I nodded.

"It's a good sign," I replied, walking up to a memory that seemed particularly broken. I held it between my hands and frowned at it.

"This is one that you obviously want to be pushed out," I said. It was more of a warning. This most likely meant that the memory wasn't a good one.

He looked at me with troubled eyes. "Are you sure we should fix this one?" he asked, looking down at the memory. I could see the disgusted look on his face, worried about what it was.

"You know we need to repair them all," I said, reaching out to place my hand on his upper arm. "No matter how painful."

He paused for a moment before nodding, accepting the inevitable. We both know that he needed to get through this.

I closed my eyes and allowed the energy to flow through me and towards the cube. I slowly breathed in and out, trying to keep control of the energy. It was difficult to manipulate my powers, but I managed to repair the cube. It took a while to repair the memory, perhaps 15 minutes. James waited patiently.

I sighed when I was done and put my hands on my knees, feeling a huge relief to be finished with it. I took a deep breath in and out before standing up straight again. "Thank you," James muttered. "You don't have to put yourself through this, but you do anyway." He almost phrased it like a question, like he didn't understand why I was helping him.

I smiled at him in response and held out my hand to him, showing how I was ready to enter the memory. I saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath. He was scared, I could feel it. The memory was very broken before I set to work on it. In reality, I was worried about what lied inside too.

We touched the cube and the memories took over.

We were in a dark place, the air thick and murky. After a moment, I realised we were in an alleyway. We saw the Winter Soldier preparing his gun. I had no idea what he was doing, but I knew that James did.

James was staring at his face, analysing the person before him in disgust. I wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder, comfort him somehow but stopped myself. He didn't need to be triggered.

The scene changed and we were walking down a small corridor. Small creaks sounded as the Winter Soldier moved across the wooden floorboards. I held my breath and watched his hand clasped around a door handle.

James' breath hitched as the door was opened. We followed him into the room as he brought up his gun. The memory was moving very quickly.

A couple, who couldn't have been more than 50 years old, were sleeping in a bed. The woman was wearing a silk nightgown, facing the ceiling. She was beautiful, her face looking very peaceful. A silver wedding band was secured around her left ring finger. I looked to the man who was on his side, snoring slightly. Both were blissfully unaware of the danger that was standing next to their bed.

The Winter Solider brought up his gun to the sleeping man's head. I felt James stiffen next to me when the shot was fired, quiet and clean through the man's head. Before the wife could awake, the Winter Soldier shot her too.

I could hear James' heavy breathing and immediately knew that this was more than just a regular mission. The Winter Soldier turned and walked back through the door. James ran after him and I quickly followed. The identical bodies paced down the short corridor before going through another doorway.

I rushed after them and stopped at the doorway, a hand on each side of it.

"Buck?" A girl was on her knees, crying, with her hands raised. She was small, perhaps in her twenties, with dark hair and fair cheeks. The Winter Soldier was not phased by the way her lip trembled or the way she cried.

Even though he didn't seem hesitant, he hadn't shot her yet. He was staring at her, watching the confused expression on her face.

"James, what's going on?" I asked, turning to him, but James was frozen. He was crying, shaking and completely lost for words. His hands were clenched, watching the horror before him.

His mouth was open, chin jittering as he watched a version of himself threatening a young woman. I could hear the fast pounding of his heart. There was a moment of silence before the shot rang through the air.

"NO!" James shouted, lunging forward to take down the Winter Soldier.

Suddenly, we were out of the memory and back at the base. I decided that we couldn't stay with the memory - the risk of him harming it was too high. James fell forward, hitting and ground with a thud. I stepped forward to help, but he stood up just as quick as he fell.

"Get me out of here!" he screamed up at the ceiling of his old living room. I immediately took us back to the tower where he pulled his hands out of my grasp.

"JARVIS, soundproof!" I shouted as James punched one of the walls. I gasped and scrambled away to the other side of the bed, putting a barrier between us. I had never been scared of James until now. His eyes were full of rage, his body tense and taught. My powers picked up the fast tempo of his heart.

He punched the wall again and again until there was barely any of it left. I could see the pipework that surprisingly hadn't been broken. I guessed that Stark had protected it somehow. His fist left large holes in my bedroom wall and I wondered how long I would be able to keep it a secret for.

"Miss Maximoff, should I get Captain Rogers or another team member?"

He turned around to me with darkened eyes when JARVIS spoke. He almost looked ravenous with the heavy breaths that were forced from his trembling lips. He obviously hated himself and what he did.

"No, I have the situation under control." I looked down at the ground and bowed my head, hoping that he wouldn't hit anything again. I hated that sound. It reminded me of HYDRA when their agents would come to punish me. I knew that if I cried or told JARVIS to get someone that James would never let me near him again.

I took a breath before I raised my head. I felt the temptation to delve into his mind, my powers bubbling under my skin. Clenching my fists, I managed to restrain myself. He didn't need to be operated on like a HYDRA asset. I wanted him to get over the panic himself.

The angry expression had disappeared from his face. The upset expression that replaced it almost made me feel worse. James had never been upset in front of me, which is what made seeing him this way so peculiar.

I could see the turmoil and anger inside his head, his eyes giving away everything he was feeling. I could feel the way he mourned for the people I was certain were his family. I could hear the sound of his shaky breathing.

"Oh god," he whimpered, falling to his knees. I hated seeing him so vulnerable. Perhaps it was because he was never this way around me. He had never broken or snapped, cried or trembled.

I immediately rushed over to him, gathering him up into my arms. He put his head into my shoulder and I stayed there as he cried. It was agonising to listen to. How could I help? How could I make his pain go away? The point was that I couldn't. There was nothing I could do to stop this man from the self-destructive path he was setting himself onto.

I stroked his head and waited. He needed me and I wasn't going to abandon him when things got too much, which they clearly had. The couple in the bed must've been his parents. The little girl may have been his lover or sibling. I would ask him, but only when he was ready.

His entire body shook and I grasped him tighter. His arms were already quite tight around my own body, his palms, one hot and one cold, pressing against my clothed back. I could feel tears prick at my eyes. I didn't want to be weak, but I just let them fall.

We stayed like that for fifteen minutes, both of us crying. His breathing had calmed and he had stopped crying. He pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely. I shook my head and put my hand on his very warm cheek.

I didn't want or need to say anything. Saying 'it will be okay' was pointless, because there was no telling what would happen. Saying 'it wasn't your fault' was useless, because he would never believe it. So I remained silent, watching as he looked up at me with bloodshot eyes and slightly puffy cheeks. He looked incredibly vulnerable and I wondered whether he had trusted anyone else to see him this way. Maybe Steve.

"It was HYDRA," he began, pushing himself next to me and leaning against the side of the bed. I joined him. "It was early days, maybe two months after my first brainwashing." He cleared his throat and hung his head low. "They wanted to test my loyalty."

I watched as his hands clenched. I quickly reached out to put my palm over them. I didn't want him to freak out like earlier and punch another wall to pieces. He didn't look up at me, but his clenched fist loosened. The room was silent as I waited for him to continue.

"They instructed me to kill my mother, father and sister." He shrugged and pulled his lips into a line. "So I did."

My heart clenched. They had forced him to kill his family? I had to watch my parents die in front of me, which was bad enough, but killing them myself was something that I couldn't even bare to think about. No wonder he had so much guilt playing in his mind. I didn't blame him for getting so angry.

He had murdered his own flesh and blood, him being the Winter Soldier, not James. James had done nothing wrong and it was not his fault.

"They instructed _him_ to kill your family so _he_ did. He did those things, not you" I corrected, wishing James would stop blaming himself. He didn't deserve the mountain of guilty he buried himself under.

"But I didn't stop him."

"You can't hold yourself accountable for that. You were..." I held my breath for a moment as I forced myself to say the word. "brainwashed." I hated the thought of him being tortured by HYDRA. It made my blood burn.

"I still did it thoug-"

"If it were the other way around and I was brainwashed, forced to kill people against my will, would you blame me for those deaths?" I asked, hoping that turning the question on its head would give him a different perspective on his situation.

He sighed and shook his head. "I know I should forgive myself and that technically it's not my fault, but my brain just can't-I can't..." His voice trailed off and I shuffled closer. We didn't need to talk anymore and I knew he didn't want to.

I placed my arm around his middle, hugging him sideways and leaning my head on his shoulder. He didn't need to blame himself, but from what he said, I understood. He wanted the guilt to go away and he wanted to move past his demons, but he couldn't. Perhaps he never would.

He slowly placed his arm around my shoulder, tentatively touching the bare skin there. I liked his touches. They were calm and calculated, never forced or rough. He was tender. I almost laughed at the irony - ten minutes ago he was punching a wall.

I hummed in content, hearing his heart beating strong in his chest. Frowning, I looked at the wall that had taken a rather brutal beating by James. Hopefully Stark wouldn't find out, but if he did, I hoped he wouldn't be too angry with me. I decided that I would try and fix it myself. It had been a while since I had done DIY, probably since Sokovia. I tried to help out the best I could when our building was partly destroyed, but I couldn't do much at the age of ten.

I sat up, pulling my arm away from James' stomach. He had a blank expression on his face that wasn't telling me anything. I wanted to protect him and keep him safe from the press, the Avengers and anyone who was deemed a threat to him. I just wanted him to be safe, he deserved that after everything he had been through.

I didn't think through what I was doing, but it just...happened. I leaned forward, slipping my hand around the back of his neck. His eyebrows furrowed, confused and slightly alarmed. I ignored him, closed my eyes and brought my lips to his forehead. It was lightly covered with sweat drops, but it didn't bother me. I knew it was from the stress of revisiting his worst memory. I shut my eyes as I held the kiss a few seconds longer than I probably should've.

When I pulled away, his expression was still one of confusion. Bringing my hand up to his face, I smoothed my thumb over his eyebrows. I wanted to make his pain and anguish fade away just as simply as I pushed his brow to relax.

"We should sleep," I said, pulling my hand away from his face and pushing myself to a stand.

"Okay," he replied simply, standing up with me too. His eyes went to the hole in the wall. "Uh..."

"I'll deal with it tomorrow," I told him, waving my hand at the broken bits of plaster. What a mess...

"Okay," he said again. He seemed to say 'okay' an awful lot, but I doubted that he actually felt okay most of the time. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

I nodded and watched as he headed to the door. He didn't turn back as he opened and shut it. I hated that it was a relief when he left, but it was. I was rather tired.

I breathed a big sigh and placed my hands on my hips, turning to my large broken wall. "Fuck my life," I whispered to myself, ignoring the mess. I took off the sports bra and leggings, leaving me in my pants alone to sleep in. I flopped onto my bed and scrambled under the covers, feeling incredibly tired from working so hard to fix James' memory.

"Lights off, JARVIS."

 **Thank you so much for being such a lovely set of followers. The number of people that follow me grows every day and I really appreciate the support.**

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 **Abstract0118**


	17. Chapter 17

**Response to** **reviews:**

 **SAP -** Yeah, I know the parents thing is shitty, but I feel like its something HYDRA would do in order for him to prove his loyalty. Sorry your heart broke :P

 **Bethypie1998 -** Yeah, their relationship is really cuttteeee! I like how Wanda and James are working together, its really sweet. Hopefully you like this chapter tooooo :)

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 **DarylDixon'sLover -** Cheers my dearrrrrr :) Hope you like this chapter

 **James POV**

The sound of a bird hitting my window woke me up. I didn't sleep heavily. It took me a while to get to sleep last night. Wanda's light kiss had kept me awake for a couple of hours before I managed to sleep. The whole evening was difficult for me to get my head around.

Even though the memories were only remembered yesterday, it was as if i had also known since it had happened, since I killed them. I killed my parents and my sister. I have killed hundreds of people, but none of those had ties that personal.

I shook my head and threw the sheet off of me. I didn't want to think about it. They were dead and I was over it. I went to the oversized window that Stark had fitted into every room, watching the skyline begin to get brighter. I glanced at the clock. It was 4:26 in the morning.

I changed into workout gear and headed to the gym for my morning ritual. I started with a half an hour jog, followed by a half hour cycling machine and boxed until I got bored or tired, which rarely happened.

I tightly wrapped my knuckles, securing them in the white bandage material. As I began boxing, my mind couldn't help but drift back to my family.

I felt that I had already come to terms with it, which I knew would surprise Wanda. Some part of me knew that I had done it, but I put it to the back of my mind like everything else that happened over that time period. I had killed my family, but the time for mourning wasn't now. When my mind is better, yes, but not now.

I punched the bag again and again, feeling my biceps work. Stark had fitted in extra strength punch bags for people like Steve and I so we would break them. Thor had his own extra extra strength one, not that I had seen him recently or at all.

When it reached 6am, Steve entered the gym. He waved over to me when he entered and I waved back. We seemed to be on good terms since our discussion yesterday. I knew that he would stop pestering me. If he didn't, I would consider leaving, but there was something, or someone, that would hold me back. She wouldn't allow me to leave without a fight. It was a nice comfort.

"How was Wanda yesterday?" Steve asked, slipping on his own boxing bandages. I frowned at him.

"It was fine, why?" I asked, pretending to focus on the punchbag. My main focus was on why Steve was asking me. Had somebody heard about or even heard the damage I had done to Wanda's wall last night? Did JARVIS tell someone?

Steve shrugged. "Just wondering how the whole process was going for you," he replied casually with a shrug. I relaxed, knowing that Steve would bring up if he heard something. He didn't seem suspicious of me, so I didn't mention it. I didn't know whether Wanda had wanted to make a cover story for the incident anyway.

I needed to go and see her. The wall needed...serious repairs and I wasn't just going to let her do them. I decided that I would spend the day fixing my mistake.

"It's going okay." I aimed a kick to the side of the bag. "I think it takes a toll on her though. She gets quite tired from it."

I could almost feel Steve's curiosity peak at that. Sure enough, when I turned around his eyebrow was raised. "How does it all work them?"

I huffed a laugh and shook my head. "I don't know pal, I just see what she creates."

"And what does she create?" This time around, it didn't feel like an interrogation from Steve. I even slipped up and called him 'pal' without realising. He sounded genuinely interested in my wellbeing. He was before, but it didn't feel friendly. Instead, his questions felt hostile.

"You really wanna know?" The word 'punk' came to lips, but I pushed it back down. I didn't want to call him that yet.

He nodded eagerly, forgetting his hand wrappings and turning to face me. As he crossed his arms across his chest, I started to explain.

After ten minutes, he seemed to get it. "So you have a base, which is your old living room in the forties with that fireplace. Then, when you walk out of the door, you are surrounded by glass boxes that contain your memories. Yours are broken and scattered in thick smoke, whereas mine would usually be stacked with thin smoke?"

"Have you ever seen Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?" Steve nodded. "Wanda said that the glass boxes look like the orbs in the...magically ministry, whatever that means." A small 'O' shape came into his lips as he began to understand what it was like. I needed to remind Wanda later that we still needed to watch it.

"Ah yes," Steve realised, looking off to the side in realisation. I turned back to the punch bag and continued to work out. Steve and I spoke briefly during our workout, but not often. It was nice.

"I'll see you at breakfast," he said after he finished. I nodded and he smiled back at me before heading to the door. It was good that we were on better terms, even if we weren't fully friends yet. I still wasn't sure if we would even be that way with each other again. Looking back on the memories I had with him made me feel sorry for him.

I saw Natalia, Wanda and Clinton out of the corner of my eye - they had been there since 7am. I didn't imagine Wanda being an early riser, but there she was. They were just sparring lightly, but there seemed to be more talking than actual training. Perhaps Clint and Natalia were becoming her tutors. Part of me didn't want to share her. I cleared my throat and shook my head. She wasn't mine.

It was nearly 8 now. I decided to work out for fifteen more minutes and then head to the kitchen. I brought my fists back up to start boxing again.

Punching and kicking the bag relieved something in me, probably my anxiety. I was so passionate about it because I loved fighting, the sensation of punching again and again. If I stopped boxing, I wouldn't know what to do with myself right now. it taught me to be disciplined and patient. I could box for hours on end and not realise where the time had gone.

"Barnes?" A sharp voice called from across the room. Agent Maria Hill was standing in the doorway. She was wearing a black and blue pantsuit with blacked heeled boots. Her arms were crossed over her chest, a serious look on her face. She didn't seem to have many faces in the first place. I remember reading about her in HYDRA as a possible threat.

I remember that she was born in 1982, joined the US Armed Forces and then later joined S.H.I.E.L.D when they realised her potential. She was considered to be one of their best agents. Fury picked her out of the agents and promoted her to Deputy Director. Hill jumped ship to work with Stark when the battle of DC happened. She must've been who Steve was communicating with at the time.

Fury was someone else who I researched. He joined the US army when he was young, similar to Hill, but obtained the rank of Colonel before moving to the CIA. He worked as an undercover agent for S.H.I.E.L.D who had picked him out, again similar to Hill. He was involved in many projects including The Avengers Initiative, Project T.A.H.I.T.I, Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S and Project Insight.

She didn't need to say anything else from where she was standing. I walked over, unwrapping my bandages from my knuckles as I did. They were sore and scuffed, but that was the price of training.

Wanda was watching me carefully as I walked towards Hill who was holding the door open for me. I nodded at her in thanks as we stepped outside the room, ignoring Wanda's gaze.

She got right to the point. "I am sure you are aware that Wanda recently made a television appearance answering questions the public wanted answers to."

I nodded. "Yes." Quick, short answers were something that I realised Hill preferred rather than long, rambling sentences. She liked to be blunt, almost curt.

"I would like to know if you believe you would be ready to answer those questions yourself."

I frowned at her. I couldn't imagine that turning out well. Was I even ready to answer the questions they would give to me? I would bet money that I barely knew the answers myself. I could imagine it. I would sit there while people stared down at me, asking questions on why I killed hundreds of innocent people. It would be, simply put, a fucking shit storm.

"I don't think I'm ready for that," I told her seriously.

"Tell me when you are," she quipped and walked away. I watched as she quickly strutted to the door and disappeared through it within a few seconds.

"Thanks for the great conversation," I muttered sarcastically to the empty air and went back into the training room.

I needed to research what the press had published about me, just like Wanda had, but after I fixed her wall. I internally winced from the memory of last night, which wasn't helped when I walked back into the training room to see Wanda pinned on the floor by Natasha. My mind flashed back to how I repeatedly punched the wall in her presence. She must've been terrified.

My mind drifted. It could've gotten that bad yesterday with my knee against her throat, just like Natalia was doing. I could've killed her. Something told me that Wanda wouldn't let me keep her distance.

Natasha got off of her and helped her up, smiles on both of their faces. I was glad they were getting on again, though I would have to talk to Natalia seriously if she treated Wanda that way again. It was not acceptable.

I sat down on the floor next to the punch bag and took my phone out of my pocket. I checked up the local news reports:

 _Boris Johnson Brexit article offers 'no new ideas', Downing Street says_

 _UN Treaty would protect high seas from over exploitation_

 _UK and Russia trade blows at the UN_

I scrolled through a few of them, catching up on big stories in the media, especially the political ones. I liked to keep tab on things. Each time I woke up from the ice, HYDRA updated me on political situations in the world and taught me how to use new technology so I wouldn't fall behind on social missions, such as being undercover. Using technology in the present day felt more like muscle memory than actual memory of performing technological tasks.

After ten minutes, I decided to leave. I stretched on the floor for a few minutes, putting my legs into a V shape and pushing my chest forwards to the floor. I couldn't reach all the way down but I was rather flexible.

Leaving for breakfast, I picked up my stuff and headed to the door. I wanted to go and speak to Wanda, tell her how sorry I was for last night and how I would fix the wall today, but Natalia and Clint were busy with her. I didn't want to disturb their time together, especially as Clint and Wanda seemed like father and daughter. Her and Natalia almost seemed like sisters, bickering and bitching a little bit before becoming friends again.

I was hungry when I arrived in the kitchen having been up for three or four hours. Stark was in there with Rhodey, Steve and Sam. Stark gave me a nod as I entered, but it was a stiff one at that. I didn't blame him for how he was acting. I killed his parents. That isn't something I would expect him do easily forgive.

We ate breakfast whilst listening to the radio, which wasn't all that interesting until a certain Avenger's name came up.

 _"Wanda Maximoff, a woman who we all know to go by the alias of Scarlet Witch, gave an interview yesterday answering the questions we all need to know,"_ the news reader stated. All our heads slowly turned to the radio on the dashboard.

 _"Miss Maximoff,"_ a female voice said. I could hear the faint clicking of camera shutters and general hubbub in the background, so I assumed it was from the interview. _"Who do you think is responsible for what happened over the past few weeks?"_

 _"I think in a way we are all responsible. I am responsible for not being able to control my powers properly. The government is not responsible for being able to allow us freedom to perform actions to save people and-"_

 _"But your actions still kill people."_

 _"Did you know that during the attack on Manhattan in 2012 our entire species would've ceased to exist if it weren't for Miss Romanoff and her fellow original Avengers team? When Ultron invaded, the same outcome. When Crossbones would have attacked if he weren't stopped, the same outcome."_

 _"But stark created Ultron,"_ she argued back. " _It's his doing."_

 _"Only because he wanted to make the world a better place,"_ Wanda stressed. _"Stark only wants to protect the human race, take that from someone who knows him personally. Why do you think he stopped his weapons industry and changed his company to defend and protect the Earth rather than attack it?"_

There was a moment of silence. _"Next question,"_ the interviewer said firmly.

"She's really growing on me," Stark quipped. I rolled my eyes.

"She did really well," Rhodey added, collecting his omelette-less plate and taking it to the sink.

"Thank you," a voice said from the door. I turned around to be overcome with worry. Wanda was standing there with blood dripping from her forehead. It was only just missing her eye as it dripped down it. Did Natalia hit her too hard?

"Are you alright?" I asked, quickly standing up from my seat to inspect her wound. I placed my hands on either side of her face and frowned at the damage. It looked like she's hit the ropes or the floor and got a burn that managed to rip the skin.

"I'm fine, Barnes. Stop your mothering," she tutted, but patiently stood there as I looked at the injury. It was red and sore.

Clint came in with a wet cloth and placed it on her head. She smiled at him. "Thank you."

He nodded and then smiled at me before sitting down at the breakfast table. "Can I get you some breakfast?" I asked, walking to the island table with her.

"It's fine, I'll get it myself," she answered with a smile. I watched as she tottered off to the toaster. She pulled out a slice of bread and put it in the toast She did everything one handed, the other hand pressing the cloth to her wounded forehead. I grabbed a plate for her and she smiled sweetly at me.

"Thanks," she replied and took the plate from my hand.

"Look," I began in a hushed voice, stepping closer to her. The others didn't need to hear our private conversation. "I want to spend the day repairing that wall. I am so unbelievably sorr-"

"Zip it, Soldier," she said with a stern look in her eye, but an amused smirk on her face. One part of my brain registered how my heart beat a little faster when she spoke and looked at me like that. I found it attractive but I didn't know why. I felt a smirk twitch at the sides of my lips.

"If you really want to, we can both work on it together," she said. I opened my mouth to speak again but she put a finger up to silence me. "No exceptions, Soldier."

I huffed. I wanted to show how sorry I felt for making the dent, but Wanda was too stubborn to allow me to take over the job of fixing the damage I had created in the first place. Looking at her, I saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. She was trouble. I could feel it in my bones. Even though Wanda Maximoff seemed like an innocent little girl, she wasn't. Part of me should've been scared, but I was too intrigued to care. She enticed me, but in a good way.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied with a slight drawl, my roots coming back to me. it happened without me noticing sometimes. I noticed the slight red blush that rose on her cheeks, but she quickly coughed and walked to the fridge to get something, most likely for her toast.

Turning back to the table, I noticed that everyone was eating, apart from Natalia. She was staring directly at me, not even discreetly anymore. We definitely needed that chat.

 **Wanda POV**

Making toast with one hand was more difficult than it seemed. Putting the butter on was the most difficult challenge, but I managed it with my right as I held the cloth to my head with my left.

It didn't seem entirely necessary, but the others would undoubtedly get annoyed if I took it away. It was sweet how concerned they all were, especially James. He practically jumped out of his seat to see if I was alright.

I felt Natalia's eyes on the both of us when we were talking, which was odd. I thought that we had settled our fued. I shook my head as I put the knife down. I would speak to her later on.

I joined everyone at the table as we listened to the radio. Clint smiled at me as I sat next to him.

 _"Miss Maximoff, do you believe-"_

"God, turn that trash off will you?" I asked. Tony quickly got up to turn it off.

"There's been a lot of positive reports about you, you know? If it makes you feel-"

An alarm sounded in the kitchen and my eyes went to the ceiling. "Mission alert!" JARVIS blared through the speakers.

"Rhodes, Sam, you're up. Get in your suits and meet me on the roof." Maria announced through the speakers. The two men high fived and stood up. "And hurry up," she added, sounding very impatient. The men ran out of the room to put their suits on.

"No mission for me," Tony muttered, sulkily. I rolled my eyes and picked up a slice of toast to eat. _God, I love food._

"Stop moaning, Tony, and eat your god damn eggs," Clint replied, chuckling to himself. I itched a spot behind my ear and then slipped my hand down to my neck. I fiddled with the choker hanging around it. My fingers slipped underneath it and brushed over the scars that had caused me so much anxiety. I needed to get over it, but I just wasn't ready yet.

I looked at James. Bless him for being so upset over him breaking the wall. He didn't deserve to punish himself. We would fix the wall together.

 **Sorry for this chapter being much shorter than usual and that Wanda's POV was so short. Her POV will continue in the next chapter. Love you all lots and please review, because I love you much and much.**

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 **Abstract0118**


	18. Chapter 18

**Response to reviews:**

 **Guest (Ana) -** Thank you so much. They are definitely little gems. I'm really glad you like the way I portray them.

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 **SAP -** Your review strikes again :P I know, he is so sexyyyyyy. Haha! His gentleman roots are going to come out very soon, I promise.

 **Guest -** Yeah, I know. I've been having a bit of writer's block, so it's been quite difficult to have the motivation to write. And thank you for the 100 reviews congratulations. Can't wait for 200 :P

 **DarylDixon'sLover -** Oh, I'm sure they will get through this. They are a POWER COUPLE!

 **Wanda POV**

"JARVIS, give us the rundown of what's happening," Stark said, drinking a sip of...something that I couldn't identify. It looked like coke.

"There are four robbers on the run in the centre of Manhattan. Mr Rhodes and Mr Wilson were chosen specifically because of their flying capabilities." I didn't question why I wasn't chosen. We needed to let the press die down before I went on any missions again, especially ones right in the centre of the city. However, someone did question the A.I.

"And why wasn't I chosen?" Stark asked, throwing his arms out to the sides. A small portion of his drink slipped out of the glass and onto the floor, but he didn't notice.

"I think you know why, Sir," JARVIS said in a hushed voice. He almost sounded sympathetic.

Stark muttered something to himself as he poured his drink down the sink and left the glass there. He didn't say anything else as he walked away, leaving us with no explanation. I looked around the room, seeing everyone's confused expressions. Natasha was the only one who didn't seem to be. "Shit," she whispered and shook her head.

"Do you know what that was about, Nat?" Clint asked, looking to his partner. Why couldn't Stark go on the mission with the others? It did seem a bit odd. Had he done something?

She walked over to the sink to pick up the empty glass he had and brought it over to Clint. "Smell it," she instructed. Clint looked at her sceptically before following her order. He inched his nose towards the glass and sniffed. He sneered, immediately pulling away from it, before gravely looking up at Natasha. I didn't like it when Clint got worried.

"Whiskey," he concluded and Natasha nodded. I looked at the glass and frowned at the small amount of liquid left in it.

"Whiskey?" I said again.

"It's an alcoholic drink," Clint explained and I shook my head.

"I know what it is, but why is he drinking it?" The room was silent as the others looked at each other. Even James seemed to know what was going on. I frowned at them all, not like being left out of the loop. "Well, are you going to tell me?"

Clint sighed, pulling his hand down his face as if to take of some kind of mask. "Stark is, at least we thought, a recovering alcoholic."

I looked at him and then back at the glass. "Oh," I whispered, watching a drop slowly slide down the inside of the glass.

"It's been kept out of the papers, played off as his playboy and carefree party attitude if it was questioned, but it's actually a serious problem for him. Drinking in the mornings is what he used to do," Natasha said, picking up the glass and taking it back to the sink. "It's definitely a warning sign."

"Do you think Potts knows he's back on it?" James asked. I was surprised he got involved in the conversation, but I was glad he did. To me, it showed how he was becoming more social. I liked how he felt comfortable enough to be involved in a conversation with the others. I remember when I knocked into him in the kitchen and he barely said a word. Thinking about it, I don't think he said a word at all.

"I don't know, but she needs to," I answered, thinking about how Pepper would take the news. Poor woman, she had to deal with so much and he would definitely need regular help from his problem.

"We need to talk to him," Clint said, but Natasha shook her head.

"We'll wait for Rhodes to get back. He's the closest to him. Tony will just feel attacked otherwise," she explained. "For now, we just need to subtly observe what he drinks and not say anything."

"Why does he have alcohol when he could have coffee for breakfast?" Clint asked, shaking his head with a confused look on his face.

"You're more addicted to coffee than Stark's addicted to alcohol," Natasha pointed out, pulling the rim of the glass she had to her lips.

"Nobody asked for your opinion, Nat. Coffee is heaven sent. When you're having a bad day? Coffee. When you're having a good day? Coffee."

"When you're on a diet?" Nat questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Still coffee, because drinking doesn't count as calories,"

"I don't think that's-"

"I'm not listening," Clint shouted as he paraded out of the room with the cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand.

"That man will die of a coffee overdose, I swear," Nat muttered to herself, watching him leave, and took a bite of her cereal.

I went to my pocket to check for new reports. I needed to see whether the press reports had been good since the interview.

 _Crap_. "I left my phone in the gym," I groaned and pushed myself to stand. "I'll be back in a minute," I told James with a smile and scurried out of the room.

I don't know why I told him. We seemed to spend so much time together that all I did was tell him I'd be back in a moment if I left. Pietro was the last person I was that close with - we were practically attached at the hip. Part of me could never accept what had...happened to him, but most of me had come to realise that I would spend the rest of my life without him. I had to push myself to keep happy as my therapist said.

I shook my head, not wanting to think about that anymore and headed for the gym. _Phone, phone, phone..._

 **James POV**

"So..." Natalia said, turning her head to look at me. This couldn't be good. "You and Maximoff huh?"

I raised my eyebrow at her. The Black Widow. I remembered her face, a much younger version of herself, but apart from that, she was nothing but a threat to me. I knew her background, her endless list of kills that was nearly as long as mine. Nearly.

"What about me and Maximoff?" I asked, focusing to look at my food instead of her. She had been acting off with me all week and the first thing she asks about is me and Wanda? What was wrong with her? Perhaps she was jealous, but I didn't get what off. She didn't seem the jealous type either.

"Come on, Barnes. We both know there's something going on between you two." I could tell she was smirking from where I was was, not needing to look at her to know how smug she was.

"There is nothing 'going on' between us," I answered sternly. Whether she meant sexually or romantically, the answer was still no. I thought she was attractive, sure, but she was a friend and only a friend. I wanted to keep it that way as I didn't have many friends.

"You can't fool me, Barn-"

"Who am I to you?" I asked sharply, staring her straight in the eyes. The amused expression she had fell from her face. She stared sceptically at me and frowned. "I want to know how you know me because you do don't you," I replied with certainty. It wasn't a question. She had called me Barnes too many times like it was a common name she called me. Not only that but the way she had been acting over the past few days wasn't normal.

"Do you not remember?" she asked with a frown, almost looking disappointed. I shook my head and she sighed. Silence was the soundtrack of the room again. Why was she acting like this? What did we mean to each other?

"I remember your face and I don't remember many, so that must mean something," I replied. Did we train together at some point and I couldn't remember it? There were so many questions. She looked at me in silence for a moment.

"We were both sent to kill each other," she explained, picking her drink up and taking a few gulps from it. That wasn't too much of a surprise to me. I knew it would've been something along those lines, but she was keeping something from me, I could tell. She wouldn't be this affected this much simply by being scared by me. Someone normal would, but not her.

"What happened?" I asked, frowning at her. "Obviously you're not telling me the whole truth."

"Get Wanda to find the memory you lost." She wasn't looking at me anymore, her eyes focusing on the rest of the room. "I don't think you'd appreciate it coming from me," she continued as if hearing me question why she couldn't tell me right now.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with frustration, wondering why she was being so cryptic. I was almost growling now, irritated with the childish game she was playing. What did she have to hide?

"I'll talk to you after you find it. You won't understand otherwise," she replied with a short, bothered tone. I wasn't her student or child, but she was treating me like it. I was a little pissed off at Natalia. I had gaps of information in my head and she had the answers, yet she wouldn't give them to me.

"Great, thanks," I replied sarcastically. I snatched my bowl, placed it in the sink, almost smashing it in the process, and walked out of the room. I couldn't deal with her confusing bullshit right now. I needed to figure out how to fix Wanda's room. I sighed, knowing that it would be a pleasant distraction to what was going on. Like Wanda mentioned once, forcing a memory to re-emerge wouldn't help me get it back. I had to be patient. She was better at doing that than me.

 **Wanda POV**

"Nat?" Phone in hand, I ran towards the spy who was walking out of the kitchen. She stopped mid-stride and turned to me, rolling her eyes as she did.

"What is wrong with people today? First Barnes, now you" she huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You spoke with Barnes?" I asked, raising a suspicious brow at her. I wasn't an idiot, I had seen the way she acted around him. They had to know each other somehow and I assumed it was from an old mission or they had read each other's files. James didn't seem to know who she was from what I could gather.

"Yeah and there's something that he doesn't remember," she said, looking around the room to check if there was anyone around. She had a grave expression on her face, which began to worry me.

"Uh...what does he not remember?" I asked. "Was it important?"

She grimaced and I knew it was bad. I could feel in my bones that I wouldn't like what she had to say. "We slept together."

My eyebrows shot up. "You what!?" I exclaimed, shouting rather loudly. Natasha clamped a hand over my mouth and tilted her head in a way that suggested I should shut up.

"Just let me explain..." she replied in a hushed tone. She gestured to the sofas and I walked over, trying not to jump to conclusions. First of all, when did they sleep together? Was it recently? No, it was during his time in HYDRA obviously as Natasha said that she couldn't remember. Second of all, how did it happen? Wouldn't they both have been controlled by their superiors?

Natasha calmly sat down on the sofa next to me, turning to face me and placed her hands in her lap. She seemed reasonably calm, but I doubted I looked the same. I felt annoyed at Natasha, but I didn't know why.

"It was a mission for both of us, to sleep with the other in order to gain information. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but both of us are rather attractive individuals and would be able to manipulate the other." She was right. Nat was modified to be beautiful and James just was naturally. I was glad nobody else had the power to read minds as Clint would tease me for thinking James was beautiful.

"The KGB, the organisation I worked for at the time, leaked enough information for HYDRA to track me down, so we knew he was after me. The KGB and HYDRA weren't friends at the time," she said with the roll of her eyes. I didn't know much about politics, so I didn't really know what she was referencing to.

We didn't receive much information about the outside world whilst we lived in Sokovia. The Avengers were well known in Sokovia, but not for a good reason. Stark's bombs killed many of our people and him joining the Avengers shifted our anger, targeting their organisation. I hated them since I was ten years old, but look at where I was now. Nat's voice brought me out of my deep thoughts.

"We pretended to like each other. I took him back to my hotel room and nearly undressed fully when I put my knife to his throat." I frowned as I listened to her story, not liking how it was going so far. They were forced to do such awful things. "On missions, I always tried to use sex as little as I could. I wasn't completely brainwashed like Barnes was. The Soldier would go to any lengths to kill or torture whoever he needed to."

I stopped myself from grimacing. James didn't deserve to be forced into that mindset. "He was told to kill me during sex so I would be distracted. I had other plans." It would be interesting to see what the Black Widow was like before the Avengers, given that James would be okay with allowing me into his memory. I didn't really know how we would deal with a memory of such...delicacy, but this wasn't the time to figure that out. I wanted to listen to what Nat had to say.

"I taunted to him, told him that I was sent to kill him. I didn't realise that he had a knife to my stomach until I felt it jabbing my side," she said with the roll of her eyes. I could tell she was thinking of how reckless she was during the confrontation. "He said he was sent to kill me too. We sat there for a while, each person's knife to the other's skin. We knew that if one of us made a move to kill the other, we would both die. So we sat there."

Her eyes almost looked clouded over, her memory filling her mind. "I remember our conversation," she added with a blank expression. "I asked him if he was here of his own will and he told me that it didn't matter. I told him my story, how I was taken when I was five and forced to work for the KGB, how it wasn't my fault I was like this either. I was going to die, so I didn't see the point in keeping secrets, even if he possibly knew them already. I said his name, his real name."

I frowned at her. "You knew it was James?"

She nodded. "I couldn't tell Steve. It would hurt him too much."

"It hurt him anyway," I commented, feeling a bit of anger slither through me. Steve found out at the last moment about James. The information she had could've saved him a lot of pain.

"I know," she said with a guilty expression. It was rare that Natasha was guilty, but in this case, it seemed so. She continued to talk. "I told him my story and he told me how he couldn't remember his. Eventually, we both put our knives down." She smiled slightly. "I don't know what came over us, but I think we saw something in each other. We were so desperate for each other. I could see it in his eyes how he wanted me."

I grimaced, but she was too distracted by the memory to notice. I didn't want to be a prude and tell her not to describe the memory in such detail as the information could be significant to finding it.

"At that moment, our assassin lives didn't matter," she said with some amount of bliss to her tone. She blinked out of the memory and her eyes hardened for a moment. Her eyes looked at me again. "It was just sex, but the difference was we both knew that we needed something more intimate than another kill. Even though the order originated from our organisations, we made it our own. We realised we were both the same, taken from our homes and brainwashed by our owners."

I didn't feel angry about the situation anymore, only sad. They were both ripped from their lives and forced to work for terrible, terrible people. They found happiness in each other and I had to respect that. I just wished that James could remember it.

"Once we both climaxed, we lay in bed together and figured out what we were going to do next." I cringed at the word 'climaxed'. It seemed too sexual for James to be that way. I mean...I could _imagine_ him being that way, but him _actually_ doing it was a whole other ballpark. "We agreed that to stay alive we needed to act like we wanted to kill each other. I broke his arms and he broke my ribs, but other bruises and injuries were left too. That's the one and only time we'd encountered each other after one distant meeting where he shot through me to hit a target. I never saw him again until Steve and I encountered him in DC."

I stared at her for a few moments, processing everything that she'd said. I couldn't believe she had slept with James. I didn't really want to think about it. "That's..."

"Unexpected?" she asked, but I shook my head.

"Interesting," I supplemented, still a little perplexed by her answer.

"You're not surprised?"

"I knew something serious had happened, but I didn't...realise just how serious." When Nat said they had a memory together, I definitely expected it to be...well...not what she had described. I hadn't been brainwashed or kept in an organisation that controlled me for a long period of time, so I couldn't judge them for what happened.

"We needed each other for an hour, we needed to escape from our hell, so we did," she said, shrugging. Her face

"Do you understand why I want him to find the memory rather than have it told by me?" she asked. I didn't like that we were keeping things from him. I felt guilty for knowing more about his life than he did himself. The memory would need to be found today as my conscience wouldn't be able to carry it.

"Yes," I answered. "Is there anything, in particular, that might help me find the memory?" I couldn't just go on the fact that they had sex. Well, I could, but I didn't want to be searching for that image or try and find times he felt sexual pleasure. I didn't want to be intrusive, not after everything Nat had just told me.

"I don't know. He said he remembers my face?" she guessed. Natasha did have an exquisitely beautiful face. Her lips were beautifully shaped, plump and perfect for kissing. Her body was slim, but not too slim. She was muscular and had curves for miles, her hips being particularly curvaceous. It made you want to grab them, perhaps that's why she was so good at seduction. Maybe it was all in the hips.

She could make any person desire her. Part of me wondered what it would be like to have sex with her. Passionate I bet, but she would definitely be the type to be in control. Just because I thought about it didn't mean I would actually do it. I wasn't gay, at least I thought not? Maybe I was. Who cares?

I shook my head and got my thoughts together. "He calls you Natalia, doesn't he? Did you tell him that?"

She nodded. "He only knew me as the Black Widow before that. He asked for my real name after we had sex and I said 'It's Natalia. Natalia Romanova.' Hopefully, that'll help you find it."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "I have to try," I replied and stood up to leave.

She caught my wrist as I stood. "Your devotion to him is sweet." I noticed the small smirk on her face and suddenly felt uneasy.

My cheeks reddened at her implications. "Stop it, Nat," I muttered and pulled my arm away from her, wanting to get away from her silly words.

"He's excellent in the bedroom by the way," she called after me. I quickly spun around to glare at her, but I realised I must've looked more surprised than annoyed going by how high my eyebrows felt on my face.

Nat!" I scolded, feeling heat rush through my cheeks.

"What? You were thinking it," she said, smirking before swiftly moving out of the door.

"God," I whispered, walking towards the bedrooms. The problem was that I had thought about it. As soon as she mentioned that she slept with James, even before that, I wondered what he would be like in bed. Only once or twice, but that can do a lot for the imagination. "Fuck my life," I muttered, walking down the corridor to James room.

Yes, I liked James and thought of him inappropriately sometimes, but that didn't mean I loved him or wanted to be with him. It was a friendly and harmless relationship. That was all.

 **I'm sorryyyyyy, please forgive me. I've really been struggling with life recently. My mum's scan results came out the other day (the tumour hasn't grown but isn't gone, which is okay, but it really stresses me out and just because it hasn't grown doesn't make me happy about it) AND my boyfriend broke up with me the day before the scan results were going to be released. Soooooooo, it's been a difficult week.**

 **So...I would appreciate a review. I love you guys muchly and seriously love writing so much. I love getting away from my life for a bit and imagining my own little stories. Thank you for supporting me.**

 **ALSO, this will find resolution in the next chapter! HAVE FAITH FOR WINTERWITCH! (i love them so much...)**

 **Abstract0118**

 **xx**

 **P.S. I KNOW THIS IS ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER, BUT I WANTED TO END IT HERE BECAUSE IT FELT RIGHT AND THE NEXT CHAPTER CAN BE COMPLETELY ON RESOLUTION!**

 **P.S.S LOADS OF WINTERWITCH FEELS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER**


	19. Chapter 19

**I know this chapter hasn't been uploaded in a while, but it's rather long, so please review it if you can. I took me a while to work through it if I'm honest! Thank you for reading and PLEASE ENJOY :)**

 **Response to review:**

 **jesseort1382** \- Your support about my mother is very kind of you 3 It's difficult, but she's been a little better recently. Thank you for the review, hopefully you will enjoy it.

 **tanithlipsky** \- Thank you my darling :)

 **SAP** \- Hahahahahaha, yeaaaaa the Natasha and James thing will be sorted within this and Wanda is okay with it...hopefully :P Thank you honey, you have been so very kind about my mother. Yeah, the James I dated it an asshat. Haha! Hopefully I will have time to message you next week or something to have a chat about life? Dunnnooo, I'm so busy recently. And my week has gotten much better since last time I updated.

 **BigBangVIP -** Thank you for telling me to stay strong 3 And I appreciate your review. I'm glad you thought it was funny!

 **Bethypie1998** \- I feel much better this week actually, thank you. I'm glad I've made this chapter a little longer than the last one. I'm glad you thought it was good anyway :) Winterwitch feels are on their waaayyy :)

 **DarylDixon'sLover** \- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

 **James POV**

I was staring at the hole I had made in Wanda's wall, wondering how I was going to fix the mess I created when I heard the door open. I panicked for a moment until I saw her face. I didn't want someone thinking I was in here without her permission.

"Hey," she said sweetly, walking in with a small smile on her face. She didn't seem surprised to see me standing there. I smiled back quickly before returning to look at the wall again, not sure what to say. I was about to ask her whether we could sneak some supplies into the building, not wanting anyone to know what I had done, but she stopped me getting the chance to.

"So I spoke with Nat..."

My eyes immediately went back to her, making it feel like some kind of table tennis game between her eyes and the wall. The small pout she wore on her face showed that she was definitely concerned about something. I guessed that Natalia had told her about the memory already.

"Did you now?" I replied, moving to sit on her bed behind me. My mother would roll in her grave for sitting on a woman's bed without asking, but Wanda wasn't bothered by that type of thing anymore, not that we were friends now. She seemed to hate it whenever I went to ask her for permission, so I stopped asking.

"She has a memory that she wants me to find," she explained. I sighed and pulled my legs up underneath me, preparing myself.

"Does she now..." I knew we were both talking about the memory now and so did she. Her eyes were glued to the carpet floor as she stepped closer, a guilty look on her face.

"She's given me a description of what happened and some things from the memory specifically that might help me locate it, but it might take a while."

I held out my hands as if to tell her I was ready. She seemed to get the message, nodding and making her way over to me.

As she sat down on the bed, I shut my eyes, awaiting her hands to clasp in mine. However, that isn't what happened. I felt a light tap on my palm from her delicate fingertip. I opened my eyes to be greeted with a frown on her face, one that didn't quite suit her right. Wanda's frown was an expression that I didn't like to see on her.

"Just...be careful, okay? Tell me when you need to leave." I didn't question her warning, half knowing that what I was going to see was going to be difficult to view. It couldn't be worse than what I already remembered from HYDRA.

I nodded. Satisfied, she shut her eyes. I did the same.

Once again, we were standing in the living room I used to call home. Wanda was wearing the standard 1940s fashion once again. This time she was wearing a blue dress that stopped just above the knee. The sleeves were long and patterned with a series white swirls. The material covering her chest was tight and went all the way up to the beginning of her neck. It clenched in at her waist and then puffed out. I remembered some of the girls I used to dance with wearing dresses similar to it. Perhaps it was where the outfit came from, somewhere in my subconscious. I looked down - I was still in my army uniform.

I looked up at Wanda again to see she had disappeared, only to realise that she was now over by the door, holding it open and waiting for me to walk through. Quickly following after her, I stepped through the door and she followed, entering the terribly clouded mist of my mind. I turned to Wanda.

"What happens now?" I was curious as to how the search was going to happen. She gazed around at the memories.

"I will try and locate the memory by briefly tuning into each one. Nat and I figured out that you calling her Natalia must be something you picked up from your time together," she answered, sounding a little bit spiteful, Natalia's name sounding particularly forced from her mouth. I pushed back the curious frown that was threatening to form on my face.

"It might take some time," she added, apologetically, and shut her eyes.

I was about to say that she could take all the time she needed, she was helping me after all, but she seemed to begin concentrating on searching my mind. She actually looked quite peaceful doing so.

Red mist dispersed from her fingertips, pushing out towards the greyness, bringing her hands up in front of her. She slowly twisted and twirled them, controlling her powers. Her eyebrows flinched at moments, but she was practically still throughout the search. It took at least twenty minutes, but I was content watching her. She was stunning.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open. The once brown orbs had become red, her powers fully taking over her body. "This way," she instructed and began walking in the direction of where her red energy was now being focused. I followed behind her as we walked through a series of memories.

She brought her hands down as we approached the memory. "This one," she said, pointing to the glass box in front of us both. I noticed the red had now faded from her eyes as had the energy that was surrounding her fingers.

The memory didn't seem that broken, very clouded. "Why is this one different to the other ones?"

She looked down at it, almost with a sympathetic face, before glancing up at me. "The cloudiness of this memory shows how it's one that you have forgotten, not one that you wanted to destroy," she explained. My eyes went to the box, analysing it as the mist inside it swirled. It held the answers to Natalia's origins, to me at least.

Wanda immediately set to work, trying to fix the damage and remove the cloudiness. It didn't take her very long, realistically about 5 minutes. The time seemed to go very fast to me, my mind worried about what the memory was.

"Remember to clench my hand twice if you want to be brought out of the memory." Wanda brought her hands down, her gaze focusing on me. She didn't need to tell me to be careful, that much was obvious from the look on her face. She held out her hand and I peered down at it. It was so small and dainty, yet managed to do such powerful things like fixing my memories or taking down an enemy. She was more powerful than any enemy could predict and that would give her the element of surprise in battle.

I brought my hand out to hers and clasped it. Nodding my head at Wanda, I signalled that I was ready to take whatever came into my mind. She brought her hand hesitantly up to the memory and touched it.

 _The sound at first was overwhelming, a sound, almost pulsing. It took me a few moments to realise that we were in a club. We were looking at it from the Soldier's perspective again. I could tell he was the one in control._

 _He was walking through the club, heading in a very specific direction - the bar. He was approaching a redhead that was definitely Natasha, but she was speaking to someone else. He took a seat next to her, £30 already in his hand to pay for something to drink, not that it would affect him._

 _In his peripheral vision, Natalia was looking at him. More specifically looking him up and down._

 _"Hey there," she greeted, which turned the soldier's head. She was wearing a red, tightly strapped dress that barely covered anything._

 _"Hey," he repeated back to her with a small smile. She had a large smirk on her face as if she knew she was attractive. Her eyes and body language oozed sex. Both the soldier and I knew she was trained to do that._

"Wanda, can we observe please?" I asked. Even though I was looking out from James' point of view, our voices could still be heard in the misted room, like it was in the back of our heads.

"Sure," she replied.

 _Our perspective changed and we were a few steps away from them both, muttering things to each other, getting closer and closer. I looked at Wanda in the club. We were still wearing our outfits from the 1940s. She gazed up at me._

 _"How come I am remembering what's happening even though I'm not experiencing it in first person right now?" I asked, knowing it was quite a difficult question to process. I knew what was going on as it was unfolding before me, even if I couldn't hear it._

 _"Everything that you are seeing right now is being remembered in real time in your head. You could stand on the other side of the room for all you wanted," she explained and I nodded, somehow understanding what she meant. I decided to take advantage of the situation and took a drink from someone's hand, gulping it down in one. God, I hadn't had alcohol in so long._

 _The man still had his hand out, pretending he still had the glass there. I frowned but didn't question why it worked out that way. Fixing my memories was complicated enough. "Are you meant to be drinking?" Wanda asked._

 _I turned to her and smiled slightly. "No," I answered, watching as she shook her head at me in disappointment. I was remembering my conversation with Natalia whilst Wanda and I talked. Nothing important was happening though, just boring, fake words that built up the character's we had brought to the club with us._

 _"Buchannon, you rebellious man," she replied with a smile. I frowned._

 _"I thought we were never mentioning my middle name again..." I reminded her, thinking back to how desperately she wanted to take the mick out of me when she first heard the name._

 _"That was all you, Soldier," she replied, turning around to get a cocktail that a woman was holding. She took a small sip from the glass and sighed. Smiling, she took another gulp and then another...and then another._

 _"Slow down, doll," I joked, taking the empty glass from her and reaching past people to place it on the bar. I froze for a moment, not realising that the words had just slipped out of my mouth. We were still wearing out 1940s clothes and it felt odd being so in a club environment. If she did notice the nickname, she didn't seem to be affected by it._

 _"You don't think you could keep up with me?" she teased as I pulled away from the bar. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, showing a slightly cocky side to her that I hadn't really seen before. I liked how she joked with me and didn't treat me like I was made of glass like so many other people. Unlike the other Avengers, she was fun._

 _"I'm a super soldier who's incapable of getting drunk. Try me." Her confident expression suddenly morphed into one of disappointment, knowing she would lose any drinking competition she suggested._

 _"Seriously? Never?" she asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow at me. I shook my head, laughing a little to myself._

 _"Steve mentioned something about a special Asgardian_ beverage I co _-" I stopped myself, hearing the words come out of my mouth. My eyes shot over to where Natalia and I were leaving the bar._

 _"James? Are you alright?" she asked. I would've been overthinking about how sweet her voice sounded if it weren't for what I just remembered._

 _"I asked her back to my room." I felt a little spaced out from what I had subconsciously heard myself say. I pushed through people, rushing to follow them out the side entrance to the club. They were a little ahead of me, but I was remembering the route that they took as I tried to catch up._

 _"James!" I heard Wanda shout from behind me, but I was busy following the Soldier and Natalia._ _He had his arm around her waist as she giggled, leaning into him or should I say into me. The entered a hotel that was practically next to the club. It looked run down and cheap, but obviously, it was a good place to hide if you needed to keep your cover low._

 _"Double bed, sweetheart?" I heard myself ask in my head as I watched them through the glass doors of the hotel entrance._

 _"Oh, I think so," Natalia replied, seeming to piss off the young receptionist at the desk._

 _"Room 48," the receptionist said, a small amount of disgust in her voice. I walked through the door of the hotel, holding it open for Wanda as she came up behind me._

 _"Thanks for waiting," Wanda scoffed as she came to stand next to me and watch the couple._

 _"Sorry," I quickly replied as they stepped into the lift, followed by the two of us._

 _As soon as the elevator door had shut, they started violently kissing. I was slightly taken back by the feeling. The memory came to my head, remembering what it was like to feel the soft kiss of a woman against my rough lips. "David," Natalia groaned as the Soldier pressed her against the wall. I watched in curiosity as I watched myself grope her. My hands slid over her wide hips and plump ass._ _The Soldier grabbed her by the thighs and hoisted her up in the air. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he started biting her neck._

 _"James?" I almost forgot Wanda was with me as I looked at the Soldier, slightly disgusted that I would allow myself to do that to someone. How far was this night going to go?_

 _Wanda's voice sounded sweet, too pure for the scene going on before us and the dirty hotel we were stuck in. She was too pure. "Are you alright?" she asked as the elevator door dinged and the Soldier let Natalia down, the woman smoothing down her short dress. They both stepped out._

 _"I'm okay," I replied, observing the concerned look on her face as she stared at me. I didn't have time to look after Wanda or question why she was so worried for me._

 _I followed the pair to room 48, watching as Natalia fumbled slightly with the keys. 'David' kissed lightly against her shoulders and made his way up her neck, Natalia giggling as he did. She managed to get the door opened and they stumbled in, nearly falling at the door as they did. I could feel the Soldier pretending to be drunk as he shut the door. I looked at Wanda who was close behind me and she gestured to the door handle, not looking at me. She was telling me that it wasn't over yet._

 _I stared at the closed door for a few moments, wondering whether I really wanted to go in and see what was happening, though I could see it in my head anyway. He was taking off her top and she was unbuttoning his shirt. Underneath the shirt wasn't one metal arm and one flesh one, but two, pink flesh arms. HYDRA must've used cloaking technology._

 _I lifted my metal arm, frowning at the difference between the Soldier and me, before I opened the door and walked in, watching as the Soldier started to make his way down her neck, squeezing at her hips. She was only dressed in underwear, whereas the Soldier was shirtless but still in his jeans. I saw Wanda wince beside me and was about to tell her to leave if she was uncomfortable when Natalia flipped the Soldier over and placed a knife to his neck._

 _"Stop," she commanded from above him. I could almost feel the smirk that came onto his face._

 _"So the Widow finally comes out to play..." the Soldier teased, smirking up at her._

 _"I think we've done enough playing, don't you think?" Natalia asked with the tilt of her head. I remember not feeling scared in the slightest when she did that. Not only did I have a weapon pressed to her stomach, but I wasn't afraid of dying. It was part of the mission and I was HYDRA's tool to completing it._

 _"No," he said, pressing a knife into her abdomen. "I don't." Wanda was frowning as she observed the scene before her. I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. If only I had her power._

 _"Mexican standoff, huh? We both know that if one of us strikes to kill, the other will too," Natalia said without showing the slightest bit of fear either. The woman had a beautiful face, body, everything, but she was manufactured that way, like a doll. She was injected and sculpted into a beautiful human being. I couldn't help but look to my right at Wanda as the others talked._

 _"How will you know that if you're dead?" the Soldier asked as I stared at Wanda. She was naturally gorgeous. She had soft, wavy brown hair that cascaded down her shoulders like waves. Her skin was smooth and lightly decorated with freckles, making her look very youthful. Her lips looks so perfect. If only I was kissing her instead of Natalia._

 _I squeezed my eyes tightly, tilting my head away from Wanda incase she saw, and pushed the image out of my head. I shook away the image of my hands cupping her face as our lips locked. It could never go beyond my mind. Being with Wanda or anyone else would never be a reality._

 _"Because we are the same," Natalia said, catching my attention._

 _"I am nothing like you," the Soldier growled back, pushing his face closer to hers._

 _"Don't kid yourself Barnes, we are exactly the same," she told him with a tired tone, which was ironic considering the knife pressed to her skin._

 _"You volunteered yourself, you kill for fun." I heard Wanda suck a breath between her teeth when he said that to her. I hated the harsh tone of the Soldier's voice, scorning her choice to volunteer, not that it was the case._

 _"Is that what HYDRA told you?" she asked, tilting her head at his with curiosity._

 _"How do you know I work for HYDRA?"_

 _Natalia smirked at him. "The KGB aren't the only people who leak information." Her expression grew sour as she told him the truth._ _"_ _I was forced to work for HYDRA."_

 _"Bullshit," he muttered to her._

 _"Ivan Petrovitch killed my parents and took me. It wasn't a house fire, it was murder," she said spitefully. The Soldier raised an eyebrow in suspicion and Natalia just rolled her eyes._ _"You think stoves just accidentally set alight?"_

 _"So what, I'm meant to let you go? Sorry, but that isn't going to work out for me," the Soldier said, tightening his grip on the knife._

 _The Widow stared at him for a few moments, each assassin frozen where they were._ _"What were your family like?"_

 _The Soldier creased his eyebrows for a moment. "I don't see how-"_

 _"If these are going to be my last few moments alive, surely my killer can spare a moment to tell me about himself?" she asked, somehow making the sentence sound sexy despite the context. "Though I already know a bit about you, Barnes."_

 _He face went blank for a moment, eyes scowling at the woman above him. "How do you know-"_

 _"It's obvious, I don't get how other people haven't seen it," she interrupted, sounding like a complete smart ass._ _"You fell..from the train with Steve Rogers. HYDRA took you in, experimented on you...tortured you, just like my institution did to me." Her words were soft and sympathetic._

 _The Soldier took a breath and harshly pushed it out through his nostrils. "They changed me."_

 _Natalia nodded and brought her face a little further away to give him space. "Did you ever want to get out?"_

 _He grimaced slightly. "Between the brainwashing, yes."_

 _"Are you brainwashed right now?" she asked. I could tell she was wondering if he would reply truthfully or not._

 _"He's half activated, I can sometimes keep control of him. Sometimes, not so much," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. I could see how troubled he seemed, the confusion in his eyes. She could see it too._

 _"So you won't kill me?" she asked, looking down at the Soldier who raised an eyebrow._

 _"Are you going to kill me?" he asked in return. I could feel the way he liked her body on top of him, the weight against him._

 _She smiled at him, a delicate smile rather than the smirk she usually put on. "You're like me. I don't think I could kill someone that has experienced the same things I have," she explained with a sad smile._

 _"Lower our knives on three?" the Soldier suggested when he realised he wasn't getting anywhere. She looked him up and down, watching him from above. I remember smirking as she looked at my body, watching her eyes go over me and feeling satisfied by it._

 _"One..." she whispered, allowing the grip on her knife to slacken._

 _"Two..." he whispered back, licking his lips as she brought her face closer to his._

 _They didn't get to three, immediately throwing their knives away after two and latching their lips onto each others. I_ _t was forceful, almost harsh as if they were desperate to breathe and kissing was the only air they could find. The Soldier began to turn them over so he would dominate her, but she pushed back and remained on top._

 _"Not my style." He smirked at her as she pinned down his hands. She started assaulting his neck with kisses, licks and bites, making him groan. I was starting to feel uncomfortable and I'm sure Wanda was too._

 _"Please Barnes, I..." Natalia whispered, moving up from him neck to be face to face with him. She gave him a light, long kiss, barely gracing his lips. "I just want to feel something. Don't you?"_

 _She almost sounded desperate, but I could feel how desperate he was to touch her too. He had found someone who was like him - broken and abused. They were perfect for each other._

 _"Absolutely," he replied breathlessly. She smirked as her hands floated down his chest, lightly touching his skin._

 _"Wanda I want you to leave now please," I said to her, almost feeling like it was an order. I didn't want her to witness it._

 _"Are you sure?" she asked, reaching for my hand. I immediately pulled my hand away and stepped back. She looked a little hurt at my action, but I think she understood. I hated that she was in the room now._

 _"Do you really want to see this?" I asked_ _incredulously, pointing to the couple on the bed. Natalia was now unbuckling the belt the Soldier was wearing._

 _Her eyes widened at the scene and she looked back to me, forcing a small smile onto her face. "I'll be back at base." Suddenly, she disappeared, leaving me to the memory._

 _I turned my back, blocking out the noise and what was going on behind me. But I could feel every movement inside his head, every single touch she made I felt._ _They fucked, hard and fast, but slow and compassionate at times too. The whole act confused me. It felt sickening and fascinating at the same time. I remembered entering her for the first time, fucking her as hard as I could and cuming inside her._

 _God, it felt good, but I stopped myself giving into the sexual emotion he felt. I didn't want to get a boner as Wanda might see it once I had left the memory - that would just be embarrassing. When Natalia and the Soldier were finished, they were panting, their limbs wrapped around each other. I turned back around and watched them in bed together, both of them relaxing after their...exercise._

 _"What's your name?" he asked after a while, stroking his fingers against the top of her arm. She was nestled within his arm, lying her head on his chest._

 _"Elizabeth," she said sweetly and innocently, looking up and batting her eyelashes at him._

 _He rolled his eyes at her high jinks. "Your real name. It's only fair seeing as you know mine."_

 _I watched as she considered it for a few seconds. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" she asked seriously, looking him straight in the eye. He knew she took the matter seriously and nodded, staring straight back at her._ _"It's Natalia. Natalia Romanova."_

 _She placed her head back on his chest and stayed there for another ten minutes. I remembered the warm feeling after sleeping with her, Natalia's soft, naked body pressed up against me. The escape from hell didn't last for very long._

 _"To get out of this alive, we're going to need to at least look like we tried to kill each other," the Soldier pointed out._

 _"Do you have any spots that heal the quickest?" she asked, pushing herself up to look at him. He moved away from the bed and began to get dressed. It was odd watching myself in the scene, getting dressed and observing my mannerisms._

 _"Right arm, it's the real, flesh one. You?" Natalia began to get dressed too._

 _"Ribs," she answered as she finished pulling up her dress._

 _"Thank you for everything," the Soldier said. Natalia turned around to him, fulling dressed and ready to fight him._

 _"No problem Barnes," she replied, smiling at him. He smiled back too before taking a deep breath. Natalia nodded at him and the two started running towards each other. I squeezed Wanda's hand twice and we were brought out of the memory. I knew they would beat each other up and then she would leave. I could revisit it in my own time if I wanted to._

We were back sitting in the bedroom again. "Are you okay?" Wanda immediately asked. I didn't know what to say.

"Um..." I looked up at her. "Yes, I think so." It was news, rather big news, but I didn't want to make it a big deal. We'd slept together to escape our horrid lives and I didn't blame myself for doing it. I don't know what I would've done if I had raped her. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

How was I supposed to act around her now? Ignore it like it didn't happen? Part of me wanted to hide away and never see her again, but the other wanted to reach out and talk with her about it. What happened to her afterwards? Did she want it as much as she seemed to?

"What do you want to do?" she asked, softly stroking her thumb over my hand. Unlike Natalia, Wanda cared about me. I understood that I had begun to care about her too. If I was free to go where I wanted, she would be the only thing besides Steve keeping me to the compound. It scared me how quickly I had developed the need to protect her.

"Let's fix your wall," I said, standing up. I offered her my hand, pulling her to stand up.

She smiled up at me. "Thank you," she whispered as she let my hand go, leaving me feeling slightly cold. Wanda and I stood beside each other and stared at the damaged wall for a few moments.

"Where are we going to get supplies to fix it?" she sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "JARVIS, any ideas?"

"There are some materials in the basement that I can get brought up for you?" he suggests, sounding more than willing to help out with our secret plan. Ironically, he seemed to prefer the other Avengers over Stark, his creator.

"Don't worry, we can get them ourselves," Wanda said, heading for the door. I quickly followed her as we headed to the elevator.

"Are you going to talk to her?" she asked and I could tell she was worried about stepping over the line. It was personal, but Wanda knew a lot about my personal life anyway. Sometimes I wondered whether she knew too much.

"I think I'll have to," I replied, pressing a button to call the elevator. It was nice to have someone to talk to about all the shit that was going on inside my head.

A few minutes later, when we arrived at the basement, there were a few people already down there, getting on with jobs. We slowly walked out and briefly gazed around the room.

"JARVIS?" Wanda asked the ceiling, drawing a few people's attention. I heard a small gasp from the echoey basement, but most people seemed to gulp quickly and turn back to what they were doing. I noticed one person at the back salute.

One woman was looking directly at me - the woman who was living next to Freya's room, the one who invited me in for 'chats' when I needed them. I hoped that I would see Freya again as she was quite sweet. She waved at me with a smirk on her face and slithered behind a bookcase. I rolled my eyes.

"On your left," he answered. I rolled my eyes, hearing Steve's voice in my head. I remembered that during the 1940s he would say that phrase whenever he overtook me during training, which was often after he was given the serum.

"James?" I heard Wanda call over to me. I turned my head to her, snapping out of the memory. Rushing over, I noticed that it hadn't taken her long to find the stuff we needed. She picked up the plaster and loaded it into a large trolley by the door.

In the space of 15 minutes, we had everything we needed and pushed the trolley into the elevator, barely allowing us to fit in it too.

"We should've asked someone else to get it all," she said, her cheeks red and hair a little messy. She worked up a sweat from the heavy lifting, but my enhancement meant I was barely out of breath.

"You wanted to do it yourself, Maximoff," I told her with a smirk. She glared at me with her lips slightly scrunched into a pout.

"Shut up, Soldier," she quipped and pressed the button back to the Avengers floor. As the lift ascended, I could tell there was something she needed to say. The pout had stayed on her face but she looked less angry and more in deep thought. Her eyebrows had creased together showing her discomfort too.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hoping that she would actually tell me instead of saying that everything was fine.

She turned her head slightly to the side as she looked at me. "Do you mind me calling you Soldier? Would you prefer if I gave you a different one?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." I had never told her or shown that I didn't like it, at least I thought not. "I don't mind," I said with a shrug. I don't think I would be able to tell her off for calling me Bucky.

The lift doors opened and I helped Wanda pull out the trolley. "What are you doing?" someone asked from behind us. I looked across the room to find Clint with his arms crossed over his chest, one of his eyebrows raised at us.

"Uh..." Wanda began, looking back and forth between the trolley and Clint. "Art project," she supplied. Clint rolled his eyes with a smirk on his lips.

"Fine, don't tell me," he said and walked away, his bow strapped across his back. Wanda watched him leave as I moved the trolley fully out of the elevator doorway. As we made our way towards Wanda's bedroom, the trolley wheels making a small squeaking sound, I thought of Clint and the relationship he had with Wanda. The archer was incredibly skilled and definitely had Natalia's respect, which was difficult to get. It was a little intimidating, seeing how close the two of them were, but he looked after her. It was clear how she was a little dependent on him.

"I don't like that you're lying to him," I admitted as we entered her room. Trying to get the trolley through it was a little difficult, but we managed to squeeze it through the doorway.

"Clint knows I'm doing something suspicious, he's always good at figuring things out eventually," she replied, laughing quietly to herself. Her laugh was beautifully melodic and had a way of bringing a smile to my face.

"How come you're so close with him?" I asked, the words coming out before I realised. I didn't want to overstep the line, but I was curious as to how they grew so close.

She smiled, leaving the trolly to the side as she sat down on her bed. I could tell this was going to be a long story.

"When we were fighting against Ultron in Sokovia, I had a panic attack," she began, seeming composed as she spoke. "Clint calmed me down, explained that he was working with a bow and arrow in the field and how stupid it was for us all to be there." I smirked at that. Clint seemed to be a down to earth guy who told it how it was. I liked him for that. He didn't paint the picture to look more elegant than it was. If things were shit, he would say so.

"I was blaming myself for everything, but he told me that it didn't matter who's fault it was. What mattered was fighting against the problem we were faced with. So I did, because he made me focus on what was important." I walked over and took a seat next to her on the bed as she talked.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but hesitated for a moment. Her eyes looked to the material of the bed instead of me. "When Pietro died, I fell apart," she said quietly, almost whispering her words.

"I wouldn't talk to anyone, I would break everything around me with my powers. Clint was the one who took Piet from the battle and made sure nobody else touched him out of respect. Seeing as he was the closest to us out of all the Avengers, he was the one who brought me food everyday, spoke to me to keep me company even though I didn't talk back. But one day I did. I think he was talking about his dad, saying how he couldn't remember him. I remember whispering his name and he went 'yes, sweetheart?' And I told him how I didn't want to be alive anymore, not without Pietro."

She was brave to admit what she was telling me. I could tell she was desperately trying to hold back her emotions by the strained sound of her voice. "We just sat there and he hugged me, because what else are you meant to do with that situation. He told me to carry on, for him. And I have. After that, he's always been there for me, especially with everything from the Raft. He's been my rock."

She looked up at me with a smile. It was a forced one, but it was still a smile. "I'm glad you haven't been alone," I said truthfully. I took her hands in mine, but this time it wasn't to fix my memories - it was only because I wanted to.

"James, I don't want you to be alone either. You have been for so long now," she replied, squeezing my hands gently. I admired her compassion, but shook my head.

"I can cope on my own," I told her. I stopped myself from looking to the wall next to me to acknowledge the wall I had damaged.

"You don't have to," she argued, reminding me of the memory where Steve said something like that. She smiled at me, genuinely. "I want you to know that I have your back whenever you need it. Your relationship with Steve is your business, but I want you to know I'm here. Always."

I smiled back at her, watching her kind eyes look to my lips and back up again. "Thank you," I whispered, holding her hands tightly. "I'm here for you too."

She squeezed her hands around mind again before taking a deep breath. "Are we fixing this wall, yes?" I nodded, pulling out the bag of plaster from the trolley.

 **Sorry if there are any mistakes, please let me know if there are and I will correct them.**

 **Thank you so much for reading this chapter. Your support honestly means the world to meeeeee 3 Love you all! ALSO WE GOT 17,000 VIEWS! HELL YES!**

 **Abstract0118**

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	20. Chapter 20

**I actually really love this chapter...I hope you do too.**

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 **Wanda POV**

We had managed to find a number of newspapers to lay on the floor so that we didn't make a mess. Everything else we needed was found in the basement and currently in the trolley. We applied the PVA to the wall, mixed the plaster with the cold water and applied it to the wall.

It took a while to build up the layers, but we needed to make sure the wall would be secure. We had both changed into clothes we didn't mind getting damaged or stuff spilt on. James was wearing a black shirt and jeans - he said he didn't really have scrappy clothing. I wore a pair of blue dungarees that I loved to do arts and crafts in, not that I did it that often. Sometimes I would spend hours and hours working on a painting. I really enjoyed painting sights that I remember from Sokovia, but it was mostly landscape portraits.

I sighed when we realised we were finished and I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead, trying to get rid of the sweat that was there. I bent down to put the tool I was using on the newspaper covered floored when I heard James laughing to himself.

I stood up and put my hands on my hips, looking up at him. "What?" I asked with a frown, wondering what was so funny.

"You have paint on your forehead," he answered with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and rubbed it off with my fingers.

"We are definitely going to need showers after this," I murmured to him, watching as he pushed part of his loose hair behind his ear. I giggled when he did exactly the same thing as me.

"You have it in your hair now," I told him, walking over to pull the hair out from behind his ear to try and scratch it away. He took ahold of my wrist when I brought it up and shook his head.

"I'll shower later," he replied, letting go of my wrist to put the hair on each side of his face behind his ears. I noticed how it had grown rather long, not that I minded. To be honest, he looked rather sexy with long hair. It reminded me of a viking, which made him seem even more attractive somehow.

"I can cut your hair if it's annoying you," I suggested, bringing my hands back down to my sides. My eyes examined the beautiful brown locks he had. I liked that he hadn't conformed to the usual short hair style that most guys had.

"Do you know how to?" he asked with a skeptically look on his face. I almost rolled my eyes. Such little faith.

"I used to cut Pietro's hair all the time." I did...once or twice. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad. James and Pietro's hairstyles were practically the same. I only needed to do a trim for James anyway.

"Is something wrong with it?" he asked with a frown.

I leant my head to the side as I thought of the best way to put it. "It's looking a little..."

"Scruffy?" he supplied as an answer and I nodded, thankful he said it instead of me. I didn't want to insult him or make him feel self conscious.

"Maybe?" I replied, wondering whether there would be enough hair product in his room. What type of product did James Buchannon Barnes use? We would most likely need to do it in my bathroom rather than his.

"I want to keep it long, but...does it look okay?" he asked, looking to the ground as he spoke. Bless him, he was so cute.

"Do you mean does it look good?" I asked and he nodded. I had to stop myself from smirking. "I think you look very handsome with long hair."

His eyes shot up to look at me. "Really?" he asked quietly, sounding incredibly incredulous. I noticed the small red blush that tainted his cheeks. It made me smile when he blushed, because it showed his emotions.

"Ya" I replied quietly, turning my head to the side to try and find what made it look so good. "It's a great look for you. It...accentuates your cheekbones," I added, feeling the heat rise to my own cheeks. He was actually stunningly beautiful. His piercing blue eyes and gorgeous smile genuinely made me want to melt inside. If he wasn't an ex-assassin slash man on the run slash side-Avenger then he would definitely get a job in the modelling business.

"Thank you, doll." Immediately, his facial expression dropped from one of bashfulness to embarrassment. He grimaced and shook his head, practically bursting to apologise, but I walked over and put a finger to his lips.

"No, I like it," I told him, slowly pulling my finger away. One thing that I noticed from the memory we visited was the nickname he gave me, the same nickname that he had just repeated - doll. I didn't know what that name meant in the 1940s, but it was sure sweet to be called that. I then realised that we were very close and took a step back. "It's a cute nickname."

He looked at me in surprise, almost shocked. "Are you okay with me calling you that?"

"I don't mind," I said with a shrug. I really, _really_ did not mind. "Shortening my name to Wand doesn't really sound right."

I noticed the small smile on his face that he was trying to keep to himself, but failing to do so. "Doll it is."

I smiled at him, watching as he put his hands together, not entirely sure of what to do with himself. "Let's go and cut your hair."

"Your bathroom?" he asked and I nodded, taking off the dungarees to wear the jeans and tank top I was wearing underneath. James wasn't covered in that much plaster from fixing the wall, so he didn't need to change clothes.

"How about you have a shower and get back changed again, then call me in when you're ready?" I asked, watching as he walked towards the bathroom.

He simply nodded and entered the bathroom. As soon as the door shut, I walked back past the plaster materials to lie down on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling and huffed.

Natasha and him had slept together. They needed each other. I'm glad he told me to leave during the memory. I probably would've asked to anyway as I didn't want to invade on their intimate moment.

There was one thing that bugged me. Natasha was this powerful woman who wanted to dominate James, was sexually powerful and in control. I didn't feel that way. I hadn't had sex, because I hadn't found the right person. I only wished that I was as confident and powerful as Natasha was. Perhaps she could teach me, if that were even possible. The way she manipulated people, made them feel a certain way, was inspiring, as well as dangerous.

It wasn't long before James called me into the bathroom. I had forgotten that his hair was shorter than mine and therefore took a shorter time to wash. I walked in to find James sitting on the side of the tub, fully clothed. He looked rather sweet with his hair wet, like a drowned puppy. A very big drowned puppy who would bite your head off if you teased him about it.

"You're going to have to take your shirt off," I instructed, walking to the sink. I bent down and opened the cupboard underneath to find some scissors that would be appropriate for cutting his hair with. Obviously, I couldn't just use regular ones.

"Shouldn't you at least take me to dinner first?" he teased. I felt my cheeks heat up even though I knew he was joking.

"James," I scolded jokingly, pulling out a pair of scissors and a comb from the cupboard. I stood up and shook my head, looking at him with a smirk. He smiled back, the most gorgeous smile, and I felt the compelling urge to hug him. It would be awkward with him sitting on the tub, so I would've pulled him up and hugged him right there, but I didn't think it would be for the best.

"Shirt, please," I requested, standing above him. He was looking directly at the floor. I suddenly realised that taking his shirt off probably makes him uncomfortable and I knew why. It was the scars. He was ashamed of the scars and didn't want me to see. I couldn't see him going through all that pain.

"How about...I show you mine and you show me yours?" I asked, putting my hand up to my neck. I tapped the choker material around my neck and saw him frown. "I'll take this off if you allow me to see your arm," I explained, watching as his frown disappeared. He actually looked a little frightened of me, perhaps because he knew it was a big deal to me.

I went to the back of my choker and undid the clip, listening to the click as I unfastened it. I closed my eyes as I brought the choker away from my neck to show him my scars. I rarely looked at them in the mirror by myself, let alone allow someone else to see them. The other day, when Hill got me so angry, I showed everyone the scars. But I wasn't angry this time.

"I know it's difficult and you probably haven't let anyone see you like that by choice in a while, but it might be good for you to show someone," I suggested, staying on my side of the wall. I knew that if I took any steps closer he might freak out. If I were in his situation, I would be the same. "It might help me too," I added quietly, forcing myself to look at him. If I looked at the floor, he might feel the need to not look at me either and feel enclosed.

Fortunately, that didn't happen. He didn't say anything when he did it. He crossed his arms over and put his fingers around the bottom of his shirt. Very slowly lifting it, the scars were revealed to me. He brought the shirt further and further up his chest until he was completely shirtless. He put the shirt on the floor below him and looked down at it.

I took a step towards him and he didn't seem to tense any further by it. The first thing I noticed was the metal arm. It was pretty difficult to miss. The arm itself was actually rather beautiful, the silver reflecting some of the light in the room and having a smooth outline. I nearly cringed at the way his shoulder still seemed to be red raw from the fusion of the metal with his skin. I couldn't even imagine how painful it was to be operated on in that way.

The rest of his upper body was also like a machine in a way. His muscles were rather big, but not too big. Thor's muscles were way too big in my opinion, but James' were less bulked up. His pecs seemed solid and his abs were the same - built from a lot of hard work. His flesh arm was the same size as his metal arm, the muscles from both being very impressive. I was a bit overwhelmed by how attractive he was.

The scars were the last things I actually noticed. They marred his body, some much bigger than others, and decorated most of his skin. Some scars were obvious - bullet wounds, knife slices, etc - but some were inflicted by weapons that were unrecognisable to me.

I grabbed a stool from the corner of the room and brought it over to sit in front of him. "You shouldn't be ashamed of the scars or the arm, James." I brought out the comb and began to work through his hair. "Your body is beautiful with or without them."

"I don't see it that way," he replied solemnly looking down at the ground.

"Do you think my scars stop me from being beautiful?" I asked, knowing that he would find it difficult to get out of that trap. He would never insult me or anyone for that matter if it was about their beauty. He pouted in annoyance and shook his head.

I smirked, feeling proud knowing that my point was partly proven to him. He stayed silent after that. I continued cutting his hair and waited for the next topic of conversation to arise, which didn't take long.

"Do you think you're beautiful then?" he asked, which made me stop mid-cut.

"What?" I asked, pulling the scissors and comb away from his hair, though I fully heard what he said. I didn't want to leave them so near his body if we were having a serious conversation.

He didn't seem surprised when I stalled. "I said 'do you think you're beautiful'?"

Beautiful. A word that I had always struggled with. Pietro had said it to me, some of the girls I was friends with at school, maybe a few boys too, but did I think of myself in that way? In truth, no. I wanted James to think that I did and I wanted to say 'yes, I do think so', but there was something stopping me from it. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but I held back.

"Uh..." I began, but stopped, trying to figure out what to say back to him. "Beauty...is dependent on the someone's tastes. Each person has a different definition of beauty because everyone has those different tastes," I explained, knowing that I was bullshitting. By the look on his face, he knew it too.

"That wasn't the answer to my question, Wanda," he replied, almost sounding a little disappointed. Maybe it was because he knew the truth. Maybe he understood that I wish I could've looked like Natasha or Pepper. They were both stunning.

I gulped nervously, something that I didn't think was loud until I heard it in my head. Did he hear it? He had better hearing than most people. I suddenly felt rather anxious about it all and took a breath to calm myself down, though it usually wasn't that easy. "No," I replied simply, forcing the word out.

I pulled my hands up to begin doing his hair again. I avoided meeting his eyes and focused on the task at hand. "I mean, I'm not ugly but..." I'm not beautiful. That's what I would've said had I not been such a chicken and admitted to how I was feeling. It was difficult to feel beautiful when you were surrounded by people on the team and all of the stunning agents. It just made me feel shit being surrounded by stunningly beautiful people.

He slowly reached up and gently clasped his hands around my wrists, bringing them back down into my lap. I twiddled with the instruments in my hands. "Wanda," he spoke softly, running his thumbs over my wrists. "How can you not see how beautiful you are?"

My lips parted as I froze for a moment, wondering if his question was rhetorical or not. I sucked in a breath and licked my lips. He thought I was beautiful? I didn't need men's validation for anything, but it was nice to hear it from him. I knew that he would be honest with me.

I laughed a little, hoping we could just sweep the question under the carpet. I didn't like awkwardness or tension. "I don't know," I replied with a smile and tried to move my hands away, but he kept them in place. Not too harshly though. I looked up at him, which was a mistake, because I was immediately held in his darkened gaze. He almost looked a little upset with me, but I didn't know why. I sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I just don't see it."

He pouted, a little smaller this time. It was very cute when he did that. It indicated to me that he was either annoyed or in thought. He picked out the hairdressing implements from my hands and placed them on the side of the bath - there was plenty of room around the edges of it so that it wouldn't fall in.

He stood up, taking me with him and brought me to the mirror. My eyes immediately went to the scars on my neck before they quickly looked back up at James. He didn't say anything about it, but I knew he saw how my eyes had moved.

"Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?" he asked softly. ' _If only'_ I thought in my head as his words seeped into my brain. I didn't nod or reply, just stood there, not _really_ knowing if I did want to know what he saw. "I see a beautiful face with freckles decorating it like...lights on a Christmas tree," he began. I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult, but smiled nonetheless.

I felt a blush begin to form on my cheeks as he spoke. "Your eyes are so expressive and bright," he added, looking into them through the mirror as he stood behind me. I was caught, unable to move as we stood there.

"And every time I see you...it makes my day better. You make me feel better" he admitted, staring at the features of my face. I felt slightly breathless with the onslaught of compliments thrown at me. I knew I was a big part of his recovery and all, but to think that I meant that much to him nearly broke my heart, in a good way. If only he had any idea about how much better he made me feel. I had Clint and Nat and Steve, but they had people they were closer to. James felt like the first person I had been close to in a long time.

I slowly turned around to face him, almost feeling like I could cry and he looked at me. He shrugged at me a little, looking down at his feet. "That's...what I see," he said, sounding a little awkward as he took a step away from me. I wasn't having that.

I immediately flung my arms around his shoulder, scooping his head up onto my shoulder. One of my hands went into his half trimmed hair and I was thankful that he took the cutting tools off of my hands earlier. "You make me feel better too," I whispered, clinging tightly onto him. His arms came up around me, one cold and one warm like usual. Something about him made me feel so whole. He hugged me back, not too tightly.

"No p-problem," he replied, pulling away from me. My hands made their way down his arms hand settled around his. I looked up from where I was, a few inches below him, and noticed how even from my low level he looked gorgeous. I stepped back as I noticed his cheeks begin to redden. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

He sat back down on the side of the bath tub and waited for me to start chopping his hair again. I almost wanted him to add 'Doll' onto the end of each sentence. It really reminded me of his Brooklyn roots. Also, it was sexy as hell.

It didn't take long to finish his hair, especially considering it was just a trim. We didn't talk about anything after that conversation as it was rather a heavy subject. I was still buzzing after him calling me beautiful. "I haven't done much, but it looks a lot neater now," I told him, moving myself and the stool out of the way so he could have a look for himself in the mirror.

He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. It looked like a fun thing to do. Subconsciously, I ran my hand through my hair as he looked at the job I had done. "Thank you, it's perfect," he said with a smile, looking back at me and then the mirror again. I was glad he liked it, because if he hadn't, I don't know what I would've done. He didn't seem like he was lying to me either. I would've had to ask JARVIS to call in an emergency hairdresser.

I grabbed a towel for him to dry his hair with and he smiled when I passed it to him. My phone rang from the living room and I grabbed my choker, putting it on as I rushed out of the room. I didn't feel comfortable going many places or seeing many people without it. I rushed to pick up the phone. People rarely rang me, so it must've been important.

 **'Nat'** flashed on my phone with a picture of her face. She was sticking her tongue out, which rarely happened. Perhaps she was drunk, which also rarely happened. I picked up the call.

"Hey Nat, what's the matter?" I greeted, leaning against the desk.

 _"It's Thaddeus Ross, he's here,"_ she said, sounding slightly panicked. I hadn't seen Ross since the day I left the Raft. Looking out of the cell bars, I noticed him pacing back and forth two floors above me. With his hands behind his back, he stopped walking and looked down at me. We stared at each other for a few moments before he slipped away, probably back to his desk to do some work.

"Right now?" I started to panic slightly. Was he here to take me somewhere? I didn't want to go back to the Raft. Anywhere but there.

 _"He's coming up the elevator."_ I saw James exit the bathroom, frowning at me. I could tell he wanted to know what was going on. My hands gripped the desk a little tighter as my panic grew.

"Why is he here?" I asked as James walked closer to me. I took a deep breath in and pushed it out. My old therapist used to remind me to push all the air out of my lungs instead of quickly breathing in as it allowed space for oxygen to enter.

 _"Nobody knows specifically, but he's someone mentioned he might be here for James."_ My eyes immediately met the man in question. By the slight widening of his eyes, he had heard what Natalia said.

"We're coming," I said, immediately, putting the phone down and slipping it into my pocket. Grabbing James' hand, I ran to the door. "Did you hear?" I asked James, flinging the door open and running through it.

"I got the gist of it," he replied, letting my hand slip away from his.

"Everything is going to be fine," I reassured him. I was also partly reassuring myself. He just nodded, which didn't really tell me anything about how he was feeling. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but I would never abuse my powers that way.

When we walked into the living room, most of the Avengers were gathered in there. Obviously everyone knew Ross's arrival was imminent. Clint and Nat turned around to me. "Hey, what's-"

"Avengers," a voice boomed from across the room. Everybody turned to face the man standing in the doorway of the elevator with four security guards surrounding him. The General stepped out with the guards following him. Ross made a hand gesture and the guards stayed by the door as he walked forward. He looked at me, but only for a second before moving on.

"General,' Natasha greeted, her hands planted on her hips. He raised at eyebrow, still looking around the room at everyone. "If you're waiting for a salute, General, you are going to be waiting a long time," she added with a bit of bite to her tone. I had to stop myself from smirking. I loved it when Natasha was sassy. She 'puts the sass in assassin' as Clint would always say. The archer stood behind her with his arms crossed over his chest. I loved their relationship. It was like they were my Avenging parents.

Ross did not look impressed by Natasha and huffed. "I was wondering where Stark was."

"He's working in his lab. Why are you here?" Clint said, getting straight to the point.

"Straight to the point I see," Ross replied with a slight chuckle. His face became serious and he looked to James. "I'm here for the Sergeant."

"What's your problem with him?" I asked, folding my arms across me. We didn't have time for his bullshit. If he was taking James away, I would fight him until he begged for forgiveness. I didn't care. This was the man who abused me and kept me locked in a cage.

Ross glared at me, pointing his finger right at me. "Watch the way you act, you're still under observation." I hated his aggressive and patronising tone. Goodness knows how he had a wife. "Young lady, you could be back in prison with the click of m-,"

"Don't talk to her like that." Everyone's heads turned to James. He had taken a few steps towards me and was now directly between me and Ross. He was protecting me.

Ross didn't like that at all. I could see his eyebrows crease into a deep frown. "Don't tell me what to do, Sergeant," he said with his chest puffed. His authority seeped out with his words." I can still have her loc-"

"If you touch her again, I'll kill you," he threatened, stalking forward so he was a mere few inches from his face. I could feel the anger radiating from him. What was he doing? Was he trying to get himself killed? I didn't want him to get in trouble because of me. I was going to grab him and pull him away, but Clint pushed his hand out to stop me. I looked up at him. He just shook his head and lowered his hand.

"Are you threatening me?" Ross asked with the tilt of his head, which brought my attention back to the pair. The staring match between them reminded me of two alpha males going head to head, trying to assert their dominance. Ross was bigger, but James was stronger.

"Yes, he is." Natasha confirmed, stepping up beside James. They were a force to be reckoned with, but I wanted to deal with this myself. I suddenly felt courage spread through me and I stepped forward.

"I don't need you to defend me," I said, walking around James and Natasha to speak to him myself. It was nice having people stand up to me, but this was the man who had been haunting my nightmares for the past few weeks. I wanted to look at him face on.

He was much taller than me, which was slightly intimidating, but I remembered my breathing techniques to calm me. I could also kill him within a second. Unfortunately, I found that knowledge quite comforting. He was wearing a black suit, tailored perfectly to fit him. I couldn't imagine his upbringing was difficult or his financial situation. The General looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. I gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath.

"You tortured me," I began, trying to keep my voice steady. No matter how scared I was. My words would probably do nothing to hurt him, but I needed closure on the situation. "You made me think...I was going to die." I was being spiteful but I had good reason to be.

I looked him directly in the eyes as I reached around the back of my neck. My fingers unclipped the choker and brought it down. "You scarred me for life." Watching his eyes roam over the scars on my neck, I clenched my fingers around the choker and put them behind my back, trying to keep cool. He had no reason to arrest me and I didn't want to give him one. He looked back up at my eyes again, his face emotionless and unforgiving.

The room was silent as he stared at me, looking unimpressed. No apology, nothing. I reattached the choker around my neck, staring at his unnerved face. God, this man was such an asshole. "Are you doing this to anyone else?" I asked, knowing that I wouldn't get an apology and any kind of response to what I had said before.

Ross cleared his throat, stepping away from James, Nat and I and toward the other Avengers in the room. "I'm here to inform you that Sergeant Barnes is now a free man. It was proved to the court that none of the crimes he committed were of his own free will and do not deserve punishment."

I turned my head to James who was looking directly at Ross. James being free was the best news we could've asked for, but that didn't change the fact that the General was being a dick.

"Are you serious?" James asked, sounding slightly bewildered. He was finally free? I didn't get why he was held accountable for those crimes in the first place. He was brainwashed, mind controlled, and they still blamed him for it? It's disgusting.

"I will send over the forms of his release to Stark," he said and promptly walking back to the elevator. Clicking his fingers, his security guards followed him into the lift, one going to each corner. He turned back to us as one of his security detail pressed a button to the ground floor. Our eyes were locked and I could feel how enraged he was by our...interaction. He hated me and I knew it.

As soon as the doors were shut, I put my hands on my thighs and took a deep breath. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth like I was supposed to. I was not going to have a panic attack in front of everyone.

I felt a warm hand on my back. When I looked up, I saw James beside me. " _It's okay, doll. Just take deep breaths,_ " he said telepathically, stroking the bottom on my back gently. God, he was so sweet. Having that telepathic connection with him gave me comfort.

I nodded and kept my breathing steady. Sometimes it felt like there were hundreds of bats in my chest when I had problems like this. I was back to normal within a few seconds and stood up fully, looking around at the group. "I'm sorry," I said, looking around at everyone.

Clint came to stand next to me and gave me a little side hug. "Don't worry about it, happens to the best of us." I nodded and he let his arm slip away. Shame, I liked Clint's hugs. I smiled at him as Steve spoke up.

"Obviously it's your choice and I don't expect you...to make a decision now, but if you want to leave, we won't be angry." Even though Steve was saying he wouldn't be angry, by the tone of his voice he was definitely going to be upset about it. "But if you decide to stay," he said, sounding a little more optimistic. He smiled at James, probably hoping that he would side with that option. "Then we would be happy to have you, on the team or not."

It suddenly hit me that James might leave the compound which didn't help with my anxiety. I felt myself become a little breathless again, but tried to be as quiet as I could so that no one would notice. But he did.

James was staring right at me. I put my lips together, but couldn't help the rise and fall of my chest. He looked back at Steve as he considered the options he had. I didn't want him to stay because of me, but I also didn't want him to leave.

Everyone began to turn away to get back to their days. I was going to go back to my room to clear up the hair trimming tools when he spoke.

"I want to stay." I turned around, as did everyone else. He sounded pretty certain.

"Really?" Steve asked, trying to contain his happiness, but not doing a very good job of it. He had a huge grin across his chops as he stared at James.

James turned his head to me. "I can't leave Wanda without completing her training now can I," he said with a small grin. Relief flooded through my chest as I smiled at him. He smiled back for a moment.

"Besides," he said, his smile falling and a darker look replacing it. "I'm safe here. I can't go out in the world with my head the way it is."

Everyone nodded at his explanation including me, not really knowing what to say. It was safer for him to be here and we all knew that. Keeping him stationed here might not be safer for the Avengers, but protecting James would be worth it. He was an Avenger at heart, part of the team, whether he liked it or not. We would not abandon him.

As we walked back to my room, my conversation with Ross circled around in my head. He didn't answer my question about whether he was torturing anyone else the same way he tortured me.

I smiled at James as he held the door open for me, but my blood was boiling on the inside. I needed to expose him and show the world what he has been doing to people. He already knew about me, but said that his position was too high to be aware of the abuse his agents were putting upon me. Bullshit.

He blamed the agents for my 'experience' and apologised publicly. I needed to find someone who would be qualified and prepared enough to help me show his true nature. A hacker was what I needed...

 **Oooo, a hacker you say? Anyone got any ideas? :P Thank you for reading, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter :) I actually really enjoyed writing it! It was smothered in Winterwitch feels!**

 **Please feed me with a little review, I do get ever so hungry for them :P The next chapter is going to be set a few days after this, but it's a rather emotional one.**

 **Abstract0118**

 **P.S. I only had two reviews this week, I would really appreciate some more feedback. Thank youuu 3 xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry this has taken longer than expected. Kinda had a bit of a mental breakdown earlier this week. Yay. Love uni :) Tbh, I'm feeling so much better right now. I'm trying to get my eating and fitness on track :) Hope you guys are all good, if you need a chat, just message me.**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Kay -** Yaasss, all the feels in this story, even more so in the next chapter, so watch this space.

 **SAP -** I KNOW! I love writing about MARVEL characters and their ships because you can really direct where the story goes. Yes, I love the doll and Darlin', I am definitely keeping those in. Mama Nat and Daddy Clint are definitely precious - you'll see a bit more of that in this chapter.

 **jesseort1382 -** BLESS YOU! I love that the notifications from this story make you happy, that is my ideal goal! Thank you so much, I promise you something will happen soon, you just have to be patient. Slow burns are the best kind ;) Thank you for giving me so much feedback 3

 **Bethypie1998** \- I'm glad you love their moments together, they are very cute aren't theyyyyy :) Yes, he is free and staying with the Avengers. Boo-yah! Yeah, this is a tad emotional, but the next one is probably even more so...good luck :P

 **DarylDixon'sLover -** Thank you so muchchhhchchchchchchchchchch :) Can you see my excitement? Haha

 **StarWarsandDisneylover** \- Thank you :) I'm glad you like my chapters. They will be an official item soon, I promise.

 **James POV**

A few days went by since Ross came to visit. I was staying, because my head needed to get fixed. Yes, part of me was staying for Wanda and Steve, but I know that finding my memories was more important than keeping friendships.

Wanda and I had discovered more memories over the past few days, some good and some...not so good. We worked through them though, as usual. I hadn't seen her yet this morning, she didn't come out for breakfast. She seemed a little down last night but I didn't question it. Maybe I would see if she was alright later?

Natalia had been avoiding me for a few days or maybe she was just very busy. I wouldn't be surprised as she did help run the place. That time away from her had led me to where I was standing - directly outside her door, hand up ready to knock.

JARVIS had informed me that she had taken an hour to herself. I shouldn't have been intruding but I needed to speak to her about the memory.

I knocked three times. "Enter," she answered immediately. I breathed out as I opened the door to her quarters. She was at her desk with a pen in her hand, writing notes on what looked like paperwork. "Oh, hey," she greeted when she clocked her eyes on me.

"Hi," I replied with a short wave and shut the door behind me.

"I was wondering when you would come and talk to me," she said, shuffling up the work on her desk into a neat pile. She put it to the side and turned to face me.

"Why didn't you come to me?" I asked, walking a little further into the room. I didn't feel very comfortable in her room. Her living space was near and tidy, unsurprisingly having a theme of black and red. She had an entire wall of weapons - guns, knife, even a samurai sword.

"I didn't want to pressure you," she answered, bringing my attention back to her. At least her reason for not speaking to me had good intentions. She gestured for me to take a seat in the chair next to her desk. I slowly, with a bit of caution, walked over and sat down in the chair.

"So, we slept together?" I asked, getting straight to the point. I didn't want to get through awkward small talk and neither did she.

"I'm glad you remember now," she replied, crossing one of her legs over the other. She sat back against her chair and folded her arms over her chest.

"Do you regret it?" I asked. The question had been burning on my mind since I found out it happened.

"No," she said simply, looking me straight in the eyes. "Throughout our lives we were tortured and ordered around." She glanced up at me. "We got to be free for an hour."

I nodded, understanding that her reasoning was the same as mine. Neither of us deserved the torture we went through, but it happened. We wanted to feel something and I didn't feel guilty about it, even if the circumstances weren't great.

"Do you regret it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me. Her face genuinely looked a little worried.

"No, definitely not," I reassured her, shaking my head. She nodded and I could see the relief on her face.

"Good," she replied, resting her hands on the armrest of her chair. "Now, that that's over and done with, how's your head?"

I was glad we weren't talking about it anymore. I felt we both found out what we needed to know and could move on. I smirked at her question. "I've never had any complaints..." I muttered and she raised her eyebrows, looking a little shocked.

"Wow, the soldier has banter. Who knew?" she chuckled, standing up. She moved across the room to open a cupboard. "Seriously though, how are your memories doing?"

I grimaced and shrugged a little. "It's going to take a long time to go through them, but Wanda and I will get there in the end."

She nodded as she brought over two glasses, a bottle of vodka and some lemonade. "You're drinking this early? You're just as bad as Stark." I told her as she set the items down on her desk. She looked at the time - it was 10am.

"Firstly, 10am isn't that early for drinking. Secondly, we are drinking it, not just me. And thirdly, I'm Russian, which means I'm not an alcoholic as its practically a citizenship requirement to drink daily."

"But I'm not Russian," I argued as she poured some vodka into each glass.

"You speak it, that's good enough," she said, filling the glasses up with mixer. "So how is Wanda?" she asked, looking at me with concern.

"She's good though I haven't seen her this morning." I heard Natalia sigh quietly to herself. That concerned me. "Is something going on that I don't know about?" I prompted as she ran her fingers through her red hair.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Did she not tell you?" she asked, sounding a little quieter. Okay...now I was getting worried.

"Tell me about what?" The saddened look on Natalia's face wasn't helping my anxiety. Something was wrong.

"It's the anniversary of Pietro's death today." It was like a bucket of ice cold water was poured over my head. She hadn't told me, not that I expected her to, but it was a bit of a shock. We had become quite good friends recently and I thought she would want me there for her, but instead she felt the need not to.

I took a breath. I needed to respect her decision. If she didn't want to tell me, that was her choice. I wasn't angry, just a bit confused. What should I say to her? I'm sorry for your loss? I'm here if you need me?

"Are you alright?" Natalia asked, bringing her glass to her lips. I looked at my untouched glass and grabbed it, downing the whole thing. I don't know why I felt the need to as it wouldn't do anything, but I just wanted a drink. My friend was mourning her brother and I felt guilty for not being there even though she hadn't told me.

"Yeah," I murmured before clearing my throat and looking up at her. "Yeah," I repeated with more confidence. Natalia had a doubtful look on her face. "I'm just surprised she didn't tell me."

Natalia nodded. "Just tread with caution. I think Clint is spending most of the day with her."

I nodded back and sank into my chair as Natalia filled up both of our glasses again. She had finished hers too. "So what are you going to do for the rest of the day without your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," I told her, slightly exasperated with Natalia's teasing. I would never have a 'girlfriend', especially one as beautiful as Wanda.

"Could've fooled me," she said with a smile, bringing her glass up to her lips again. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"We are just becoming good friends," I told her honestly. I didn't want to mess up this new friendship with her. "Nothing more," I stressed, taking a sip of my drink.

"Okay, okay," she replied, putting up both her hands with forgiveness. "I'll stop teasing." She still had that mischievous look in her eye though.

Honestly, I didn't mind Natalia teasing me now that we were...friends? I liked to think that we could put our past behind us and try and be friends. We were two people who had a lot of shared life experience. I wouldn't want to be romantically or sexually involved with her again though. It would complicate everything. Also, I didn't find her attractive. Obviously she was beautiful, but it wasn't attractive to me somehow.

My mind went to Wanda. I wondered whether she would be alright with Clint. Hopefully I would get the chance to speak with her later. I'd never comforted someone who had dealt with a loss apart from Steve, but then again, that was an entirely different life.

"Seeing as your sparring partner is taking the day off, fancy a session with me?" she asked before downing the rest of her drink.

"Sure, but do you not have paperwork to do?" I asked gesturing to the large pile of documents on the desk.

She shrugged. "They can wait. Besides, I'll just give them to Clint later," she said with a smirk, grabbing the jumper that was hanging over her chair.

By the time we got to the training room, only a few people were in there. Tony was boxing with someone I hadn't seen before, supposedly a trainer. He was medium build, black hair, green eyes, heart rate at 134 beats per minut-

"Barnes?" I turned my head to Natalia who was looking impatiently at me. I stepped through the boxing ropes she was holding apart for me as I looked around the rest of the room.

The only other people there were Clint and Wanda. They were on the far side, looking at something on the wall. I couldn't quite see what it was, but it had a slight glint to it. I nearly laughed when I saw what Wanda was wearing - silky shorts and a hoodie that nearly engulfed her. She looked so cute. Her legs were longer than I thought, but then again I hadn't stared at them for so long. Part of me wanted to get close to her and stroke them, feel how soft they were. _Wait...what?_ I shook my head and pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. She was in mourning for goodness sakes. _I should probably stop staring now._

I held my hands in fists, protecting my face as Natalia and I circled around each other. "You sure you're going to be able to keep up, old man?"

I rolled my eyes and lunged forward with attacks, trying to aim for her stomach and face. The problem with Natalia was that she was quick and small and strong and tactile and practically the perfect spy. She dodged my punches with lightening speed and slid herself between my legs, swinging her body back around to knock a hit to my stomach.

I heard her laugh as she pushed herself back to a standing position. Before she was fully standing, I didn't hesitate as I swept her feet from under her with my foot. She hit the ground, rather ungracefully, a soft groan coming from her. "So...we're playing dirty, huh?" I let her stand up fully again before raising my fists.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Wanda hugging Clint. My mind went to Pietro again. I couldn't believe she hadn't told me. A near punch to the face from Natalia, that I only just managed to deflect, brought me back to the task at hand.

She advanced towards me with low round houses, side snap kicks and even a straight up heel push at one point, but I kept my distance as she moved forward. I stopped at moving and grabbed her ankle to catch her off guard. She was prepared for it.

She jumped forward, kicked my chest with both of her feet and managed to land on her hands to spring herself back up. I watched from where I was on the floor as she just walked away with a smirk on her face.

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself back up again. I was distracted though when movement caught my peripherals. Wanda and Clint were walking towards the door of the training room, away from the shiny...things on the wall.

I froze for a moment, watching as she walked away. This time I could see parts of her face, hear her heartbeat. She was unhappy, I could tell that much. Who wouldn't be in that situation? I wanted to run over and hug her. I'd never felt such a need to comfort someone else as much as I did in that moment. Perhaps it was because she had lost her brother, just as I had lost my sister, and we shared that sense of mourning. Maybe it was because I missed her company at the breakfast table this morning or the fact she was wearing the oversized hoodie that made her look sweeter than usual. But maybe it was actually because I-

Suddenly, I stumbled backwards, feeling immense pain in my cheek. I felt my cheeks reddened as I looked back at Natalia, feeling a little mortified. My super soldier abilities picked up on the snort that left Wanda's nose as she walked out of the room, obviously amused by what had happened. Natalia had a smirk on her face as she returned her fist to her hip.

"Getting distracted by your girlfriend, are we?" she teased, walking backwards with her head up as if to challenge me. I was not going to lose a fight with Natalia over Wanda. She was gone now, one less distraction. Now I just had to put up with listening to Tony's sarcasm and stupid one-liners for the rest of the session.

"Shut up," I muttered at her smug face and went to hit her right in the jaw. Irritatingly enough, she dodged.

After we finished sparring, two hours later, I was quite tired to put it lightly. Yes, I was a super soldier, but Natalia was practically up to the same standard. Fighting constantly for two hours was difficult, but she was a great opponent.

As we both grabbed drinks from the side of the room, I noticed Wanda and Clint sitting at the edge of the tree-line again, red tendrils surrounding them. Her abilities were absolutely incredible. Being able to hold herself as well as Clint that high and be in control was mind-boggling.

"Are you worried about her?" Natalia asked from beside me. "Because Clint is like a father to her. He can take care of her."

"I know," I replied immediately, not wanting her thinking Clint wasn't capable of doing that job. In fact, quite the opposite, he seemed like the perfect man for it. "I just wish I could take away her pain," I said quietly and partly just to myself. I would do anything to help Wanda.

"You can." I turned to Natalia with a frown.

"How?" I asked, thinking if there was anything that I missed. Tracking down the people who killed her brother would be easy and pointless because Tony was in the same room as me, but there was no way I was killing him. I had killed too many Starks already. Wanda deserved happiness, I just wasn't sure how to give it to her.

"Be there for her, distract her with a movie later tonight or have dinner with her. Do something to take her mind off of what's going on and she'll talk when she needs to. I'm pretty sure Clint has some stuff to do later and can't be with her, but nobody wants her to be alone today," she explained, drying the sweat on her face down with a small towel.

I nodded and looked back at the pair at the end of the field. I was pretty sure we still needed to watch that Harry Potter film...

 **Wanda POV**

Today was the day. I hadn't been thinking about it until yesterday. Things were going so well with James and the team that it slipped my mind. I tried not to feel guilty about it, but failed.

Three years. I was lying in bed still. I looked over at the clock - 9:30. Usually I would be up by now. I hadn't even eaten breakfast yet, but I wasn't hungry. There was a faint knock on my door.

"Wanda?" I heard Clint's voice from behind my bedroom door. Only Clint, Nat, Steve and James had access to my room. I didn't really trust anyone else.

"Come in," I answered, leaning back against the backboard of my bed. I was perched on my pillow with my duvet wrapped around my legs. I was wearing my sleeping clothes - a pair of silk shorts and a tank top. I didn't mind Clint seeing me. Any Avenger could see me in my outfit and I wouldn't be too embarrassed.

"Oh love," he cooed, coming over to sit on my bed. I shuffled over and he sat next to me, holding his arm out so I could snuggle up next to him.

"Everything is shit," I told him frankly, tightly holding onto him. I was sad, but felt more pissed off than anything. The world had taken my parents and my brother from me. It was unfair.

"I know," he sighed. "The world is a piece of crap and we're all gonna die."

I frowned and looked up at the archer. "Shouldn't you be encouraging me to stay positive?"

He shrugged and smirked down at me. "Just trying to be truthful darling." I rolled my eyes and put my head back on his chest. We were silent for a moment, listening to nothing as we hugged. I really don't know what I would do without Clint.

"They aren't here," he whispered, continuing to stroke my arm softly. "but the world is what you make it to be."

Clint, despite popular belief, was actually rather smart. Everyone knew he was banterful and compassionate, but usually it was seen that Natasha was the smart one and Clint was the goofy one. I think they dabbled in both areas.

I nodded at his statement and hugged him tightly. "Have you eaten?"

I didn't, couldn't, answer him. He knew I had eating problems in the past and I didn't want them to be a big deal now, but I never wanted to eat on Pietro's anniversary. Something stopped me from wanting to, which was odd because usually when I felt sad or guilty I would make as much pasta as I could.

"I'll take that as a no," he said, not sounding disappointed or angry, just observant. He tapped my arm and moved to get up, pushing me up too. "Come on, let's get some food."

I groaned and stood up. I grabbed a hoodie from the side and chucked it on. Nobody was going to question my outfit. Also, I didn't give a shit what anyone thought today.

We went into the kitchen and Clint fixed me up with some scrambled eggs. They were buttery and delicious, just the smell of them peeled up my hunger. I moaned in content as I finished them.

"Good?" He asked, drinking his second cup of coffee for that morning.

"They were lovely." I put my hand on his, stopping him mid-drink. "Thank you," I said after a moment. I wanted him to know how much I appreciated him. He was like the guiding light out of my shitty gloomy dark hole.

"Don't mention it," he said, picking up my hand and kissing it. I smiled as I picked up my plate and took it to the sink. I would do the washing up later.

"I have something to show you," he said with a smile on his face. I was immediately suspicious at that.

"That's your 'I've done something sneaky face'. What's going on?" I asked, folding my arms and raising an eyebrow with concern. The sneaky face could be either good or bad, but was always a surprise. I wondered what it could be this time.

"Come on," he said with the nod of his head to the door. I shoved my hands into my pockets as I followed him. We seemed to be heading towards the training room, but the only place I wanted to head was bed.

My thoughts went back on Pietro. He would be sneaky sometimes. He would buy me something that was way too expensive for us to be buying, saying that someone owed him a favour. He once bought me a beautiful dress that was worth about €30. He told me not to wear it in front of anyone but him as the other people in the town would get jealous and might try to take it. I never did wear it outside, but I would spend many evenings in it, lying on our creaky bed, dreaming about someone taking me out to dance in it. Of course, that never happened.

When we arrived at the training room, Tony was boxing with his trainer with Rhodey watching outside of the ring. They looked over when Clint opened the door. I could see Rhodey smile at me before turning his head. Tony gave me a little wave before getting back to boxing. They both knew that I didn't want to be disturbed.

Clint walked me over to a corner of the room where there were a series of rectangles on the wall. As I got closer, I realised they were plaques. "What is this?" I asked as we approached.

"This is the Avenger's commemorative wall. I pitched the idea to Hill last week to see if we could get it done for today," he explained, his eyes flickering over them all. "It's for fallen Avengers only. Thankfully there are only two names so far."

I looked to the first name - Phil Coulson. I remembered someone telling me he was a member of S.H.I.E.L.D. Maria Hill was Fury's right hand woman, and probably still is, and Coulson was Fury's right hand man. It was a shame I never got the chance to meet him.

My eyes went to the second plaque:

 _'Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver) - taken too soon'_

I glanced up at Clint as tears welled up in my eyes. "You...did this?" I asked, staring back at the plaque. It was beautiful. The small rectangular shape and light brown framing was so beautiful.

"He was one of us. He deserves it," he said whispering the last bit. Pietro meant something to Clint too. I could see the teary look in his eyes. He was right, Pietro did deserve it.

I threw my arms around him and squeezed him tightly. He brought his arms protectively around me and squeezed back. "I love you," I whispered, shutting my eyes and holding onto him tightly.

"I love you too," he replied, stroking my back gently. We stayed like that for a while, content and peaceful. I heard the door open and shut a few times and people grunting from their workouts, but I ignored it.

"Thank you," I told him, letting my arms fall away from his embrace. Clint was such a kind person.

"It was honestly no trouble," he said with a smile, staring back at the plaque. I knew Clint still felt a small amount of guilt over Pietro's death even though it wasn't his fault. It must've been difficult for him to witness.

I held his hand as we stood by the wall, just watching the plaque. Part of me found some piece knowing that his efforts were recognised through the plaque, defending Sokovia and being part of the team.

"Fancy a walk?" Clint asked, turning to face me.

I took a breath before answering. "That would be lovely." I felt the need to be up in the air and feel the wind on my face. Being up in the sky was bliss, even if I couldn't go that far. Flying just above the tree line allowed me to be away from the noise and see the landscape for miles and miles. I hoped that James would come with me again at some point.

As soon as that thought entered my head, I turned to leave and saw him and Natasha training on the other side of the room. Clint and I began to walk out when he noticed me.

He paused to look at me and suddenly I didn't feel so warm wearing my shorts and hoodie. Within that split second, Natasha landed a hit to his face so hard that he stumbled backward. I snorted a laugh as he tried to recover and refocused on the fight. "Why you laughin'?" Clint asked from beside me.

I turned to him with a grin. "James got distracted by me and Nat saw the opportunity to punch him in the face."

Clint looked over at the pair who were both now in the fighting zone before looking back at me. He smirked. "He doesn't get distracted by anything you know."

I knew that look. It was the same look Natasha wears whenever she teases me about James. Perhaps they spoke about us behind our backs. I shrugged, hoping that I wasn't going too red, as we exited the room.

"Would you stop? I get enough of this from Nat," I replied, pulling the sleeves of my jumper over my hands.

"You can't deny he's hot," Clint admitted, tilting his head sideways. I rolled my eyes.

"If you like him so much, you date him. He's not my type." That was an absolutely lie, especially considering I didn't have a type. James was fucking beautiful. Like, actually beautiful. He was visually stunning, but not just that - he had a kind soul. He was sweet, not that the rest of the world saw that. But the rest of the world wasn't seeing me in a good light either and I like to think that I'm a reasonably okay person.

"What is your type then?" he asked, pressing the button to call the elevator.

"I don't know, what's yours?" I asked to which I was met with complete silence. "So Natasha then?" I tried to stop the grin blossoming when he glared at me, but I couldn't help it. "Come on, you two are perfect for each other and you know it. I wish you would just marry already."

Clint scoffed at me, but I could see the blush rising on his cheeks. The pair of them were made for each other, no matter the rumours of her secretly liking Banner and Steve too. "What? Then we could adopt you and play happy families? I think we both know that world doesn't exist."

I hated the dejected tone of his voice. He deserved happiness and so did Natasha. I wished they would just wake up and smell the coffee. "Don't give up hope," I encouraged, opening through into the now open elevator doors.

We stood in silence for a few moments. I was waiting for him to talk, because I didn't know what else to say. If he didn't like her in that way, he didn't like her in that way.

"She would never marry me." Ha! I knew it. I straightened my thoughts and realised that Clint wasn't being his jokey self. I could see the saddened expression on his face, but there were no signs of pity.

"Why not?" I asked, curiously. He turned his head to look at me.

"Because she can't love anyone." The joking mood was definitely over. Natasha was a tough egg to crack, but I didn't believe she couldn't love anymore. And if she couldn't feel that way, Clint was definitely the person to reawaken that love.

"You don't actually believe that, do you?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest. "If you asked her out, I doubt she'd say no."

"If I asked her out, I doubt she's say yes. In fact, if I asked her out, she would probably kill me with her knives," he replied with a very concerned expression. He shook it off and shrugged. "Besides, I don't want to ruin our relationship."

The elevator doors opened as I huffed. "Fine." I gave up. They just needed to figure it out for themselves. Either Clint needed to get drunk and admit his feelings for Nat or Nat would need to get dr...actually...Clint getting drunk was the only option, because realistically the vice versa would never happen.

We ended up walking around the entire field, watching as trainees took part in bleep tests and hand to hand combat lessons. We were half way around when I looked at the trees next to me. I followed their trunks up until I was looking directly at the tips swaying in the breeze.

"Shall we?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I nodded and he smiled in response. Clint was so adorable. He loved to come up and fly with me, not that we got the chance to do it that often. People got jealous - i.e. Tony and Sam.

We rose to the top lines of the trees and sat back, watching the horizon. I took a deep breath and leaned against Clint's shoulder. The sun was beautiful, not too bright or dim - the perfect summers day. Unfortunately, today wasn't perfect for me.

 **Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please let me know by popping a review in the little box below, I would really appreciate it. Sorry this was shorter than usual by the way, I just thought this was a nice place to end it. Please let me know if there are any mistakes.**

 **MORE WINTERWITCH FEELS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! VERY GOOOOEEYYYYY! LIKE A CHOCOLATE FONDANT!**

 **Abstract0118**

 **xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**WE'VE HIT NEARLY 19,000 VIEWS! I WANNA HIT 20,000 BY THE END OF 2018! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Wayward Dreams -** Thank you so much. I love that you're in love with it. Hopefully this update it gooooddd, not sure whether everyone would like it or not.

 **SAP -** Ma duuuddeee, yes James did get his ass kicked. Woman power yo! Yes, I think I'm going to do a Clint/Nat thing, because I love them so much. I've done so many fics with them together in it. Hehe, hopefully, you like this chapter. Please give me your honest feedback on it 3

 **Franrellik -** Very glad you are loving it, this does have quite a bit of Bucky and Wanda progression, you are going to have to wait for a date though...soon!

 **StarWarsandDisneylover -** Thank you so much, I love Wanda and Clint's interactions in general. I love the familial relationship they have.

 **James POV**

"If you want to freeze to death, you're welcome to use the cryostasis chamber," I said, stepping out onto the balcony with my hands behind my back. I was walking back to my room when I noticed Wanda outside. It was 7pm and way too cold for her to be out there in just her shorts and jumper that she still hadn't changed out of.

She looked back at me and shrugged. A small smile showed on her face. "I'll come in soon."

As she turned back to the horizon view, not that there was much to see, I shut the glass door behind me. I didn't want to impose on her space, but Natalia made it quite clear that Wanda was not supposed to be alone, especially not today.

I slowly walked towards her, not wanting to make her feel worried I was spying on her. "Do you want to watch that Harry Potter movie you were talking about?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?"

I nodded, not knowing what on Earth she was talking about or if it was the right movie. It would be interesting to see the reference I had heard so much about - she had mentioned it most times when reviewed my memories. She walked back to the glass door and I took it as a sign to follow her.

We were strolling back to her bedroom when I realised that she might've missed dinner. "Do you want to order a pizza?" I asked casually as we got to her door.

She shrugged and opened the door to her room. "I'm not really that hungry." Was that a sign that she had eaten? Or was she aware I was checking up on her and saying that to put me off? I didn't know what to think, but I wasn't going to push her, not that I ever would.

We settled down on the couch, leaving a metre between us as she snuggled into her corner. I politely sat in the other corner, not really knowing where she wanted me. Usually, we would just sit on the bed.

Wanda told JARVIS to play the movie and the introduction appeared on the screen. "Is this a series of films?" I asked as we watched the beginning. I felt as though I was missing a bit of context.

"Pause the film, J," she told the A.I and turned to face me with her legs tucked up beneath her. "Harry Potter is a wizard who goes to a school called Hogwarts. His parents are dead too," she said, bluntly.

Her eyes immediately widened at what she had just said and I couldn't help but look a little shocked too. "Sorry," she muttered quietly, turning her head back to the screen. I wanted to reach across to put a hand on her shoulder, but I didn't want to invade her personal space.

"No bother." I didn't want her to feel bad, but I certainly didn't expect _that_ from her. I tried to put it to the back of my mind as the movie continued.

It was rather funny. A bird came through Harry's house in the first few minutes and slammed into the wall. I couldn't help but let a laugh slip. I felt a bit bad afterwards.

A few scenes later surprised me. My eyes widened as they started flying through the air on broomsticks. "What the..." I could see her smiling at me, but my eyes were glued to the screen. "How did they film it? Did Stark help?"

She laughed at me and shook her head. "No, they use special effects. I don't understand it that well," she admitted, not that I understood what she was saying. The technology available nowadays was incredible.

We continued to watch. I found the plot quite interesting, even though I hadn't seen the previous few films. The woman in pink irritated me a lot. She was too stuck up and rude. Also, the rose shade of her clothes absolutely revolted me.

About halfway through the film, I could feel her eyes on me. I looked over and surprisingly, she didn't shy away. "What?" I asked quietly, noticing the tears in her eyes.

She pouted for a moment and stared at me. She shuffled over to me and I lifted my arm up, resting it on the back of the sofa. She settled beside me and curled up into a ball with her head on my chest, reminding me of a cat. I tensed as she wrapped an arm around my waist. I felt every finger as it lingered against my shirt.

I took a breath as she nestled up against me. It was comforting having her with me, like a human blanket. I moved my hand from the back of the sofa and placed it on her side, softly stroking her. I felt myself relax a bit more now that she was with me and not on the other side of the furniture. I couldn't relax when she wasn't with me. It eased my mind to have her close.

We remained that way for a while, not needing to say anything to each other. We were content. Towards the end of the film, her head perked up.

"Look," she whispered, pointing at the screen. The room Harry and his friends stood in were filled with glass shaped orbs. "That is what your mind should look like, stacks of things."

I frowned at the image on the screen. "My head doesn't look anything like that." My brain was much foggier, the glass boxes were cracked and memories were in random places, not in organised lines. _I am such a mess._

"It will one day," she replied, looking up at me with a soft smile. I felt my heart clench when she did and I had to force away from the shiver that wanted to rush through me. She put her head on my chest again and I tried to focus on the film instead of her.

One of the characters died in the film, hit with some kind of spell. I could feel Wanda sobbing against me and I held her tighter, reminding myself of what Natalia had said to me - I was helping her just by being there. I hoped that was true.

When the film finished and the credits began to roll, we stayed cuddled up next to each other for a while, just listening to the music. She was such a wonderful person to be around. It was mind-blowing how much she had grown to mean to me within these few short weeks. However, we had spent a large amount of time together over that duration. We saw each other every day and had to be involved with each other very personally.

I peered down at her. "Are you okay?" I asked. She sighed and sat up, my arm settling back against the sofa. The underneaths of her eyes were red and she looked a little tired.

She held out her small hands. I frowned for a moment, not realising we would be reflecting on my memories today. "I want to show you something," she whispered as I put my hands in hers.

She shut her eyes and I followed suit, trusting her.

I felt the change in atmosphere when I reopened my eyes. There was a slight breeze against my cheeks and I felt it slither through my hair. The room we were in was small with a bed slight bigger than a single taking up most of the room. The paint on the walls was coming off and the quilt on the bed looked a little dirty. The window that had some light shining through looked very old and probably was inoperable.

Wanda walked over and took a seat on the bed, making it creak. I frowned as I sat next to her. "Where are we?"

She looked out of the window. "Home," she whispered, seeming to be lost in her own little world. I then realised that this was her 'base'. I noticed then that both of our clothes had changed.

She was wearing a black, short, button-up dress that didn't exactly conceal her cleavage. I looked down and noticed the ripped knee-high socks and black combat boots she was sporting. She had a red pendant hanging around her neck that glinted when the light streamed into it.

She stood up and held out her hand. Without thinking, I took it. She walked us out of the small room, squeezing my hand as we passed through the doorway. We entered the space where her memories were stored. The glass boxes she had were more like the ones from the movie than my own.

She held my hand tightly as she led me through the maze of glass boxes, knowing exactly where she was heading. It was a few minutes until she suddenly stopped.

"Here," she whispered, moving her hand out to touch the memory.

"Are you sure?" I asked, sensing that the memory meant a lot to her. I had a feeling it would either be of Pietro, her family or HYDRA.

Her eyes looked directly at mine. She was so beautiful. I gritted my teeth a little as my heart clenched again. Was I getting a heart problem at my old age or something? "I'm sure," she whispered. I smiled and watched as she touched the box, transporting us to the memory.

 _We were in a small kitchen, which had a similar wall colour to the bedroom. It must've been part of the same house. There were four people gathered around the table - two adults and two children._

 _The adults had big smiles on their faces and so did the children. They were tucking into some kind of food that looked like curry. The young boy had brown hair and seemed to be wolfing down his food without taking a moment to breathe. The young girl rolled her eyes and giggled at the boy._

 _"Octahobnte eto, manehbkne," the mother said with a smile. It sounded like rough Russian, but I guessed it was Sokovian. I think she said 'Stop it, little ones', but I couldn't be sure._

 _"But mama, I'm hungry," the young boy moaned. It suddenly clicked that this was her family. The young boy was her brother - Pietro. The two adults were her parents and the young girl...that was Wanda. I looked between adult Wanda next to me and back to her younger self._ _Her hair was ruby red like always but was much curlier back then. Goodness, she was small. Both of the siblings were._

 _"This was the last night..." Wanda said from beside me as she watched the memory play out._

 _"Doesn't mean you have to be a Svinja," young Wanda retorted. Wanda laughed next to me and I smiled, recognising that young Wanda had just called him a pig. Young Pietro stuck his tongue out at her and continued to eat._

 _"This is the night before they died?" I asked. She reluctantly nodded her head and stared at the scene ahead of her. Watching her family, herself, happy. It must've been difficult to witness given what day it was. She had lost so much. She didn't deserve to lose anymore._

 _'I took it all for granted back then," she explained, walking around the dinner table and watching her family eat their food. Her father was laughing and her mother had a smirk on her face. "I didn't think about how much my parents provided for and took care of me."_

 _She looked up at me then, for the first time in a while. Her eyes weren't watering this time, just sad. I ignored the chatter between the family and focused on her as she walked around the table towards me._

 _"The family around that table doesn't exist anymore, James," she muttered quietly. Now I could see the tears welling up. I rushed forward to pull her into a hug, holding her tightly against my chest as she started to cry. It was so heartbreaking to hear that sound and feel her sobbing against me._

 _"You have a family, with us." The words slipped out before I realised, but it was the truth. She had all of us, all of the Avengers. "You have me."_

 _Her grip on me tightened and my eyes widened, not realising how strong she was. Perhaps I was being too personal by saying that, but it was how I felt. She was so close to me now. I wouldn't know what to do if she left or I was forced to. A_ _fter a second or two, she loosened her grip, but still lingered in my arms, her head against my chest._

 _"I'm glad I do." I lifted up one of my hands and gently stroked her hair, trying not to pull on any knots._

 _She didn't say anything after that, neither of us did. We were perfectly content with watching the memory play out in front of us. It was nice to see a family, a real family, connected by blood. I wished I had that still. Even though I said to Wanda that she had all of us, it didn't mean that I had everyone too. I had Wanda, Natalia and Steve, perhaps even Clint, but apart from that, I didn't have anyone in the whole world. I held her a little tighter too, but not so it would hurt._

 _I watched Wanda as she stood in the doorway of her bedroom. Her parents were putting the young children to bed. My mind went back to when I disliked her when I thought she had volunteered for HYDRA, knowing the extent of what they had done. I shook my head._ _How could I dislike such a kind human being?_

 _Once her family had gone to bed too, Wanda withdrew us from the memory. We didn't go back to the base, but straight to Wanda's room._

She kept her hands in mine as we sat there. I noticed the tears streaming down her face as she sniffled. "I just miss him so much," she mumbled, glancing down at our intertwined hands.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, kneeling over me. I pushed onto my knees too so that she didn't topple forward or feel uncomfortable. I put my arms around her without hesitation. We didn't need to ask permission anymore for that type of intimacy anymore. We were comfortable with each other now. We hugged for a few minutes and I was going to ask if she needed me to do anything, but she spoke up.

"Can we go to bed?" she asked in a very innocent sounding voice. I smiled and sighed as she pulled her arms away from me. She stayed close though, something that caught my breath a little. _What is going on with me today?_

I nodded and stood up, not sure whether I liked the breathless moment I felt. I wasn't sure what to do with myself but offered her a hand from the couch. She smiled as I pulled her up and lead her over to her bed. I doubted that she wanted to change - she hadn't done so all day.

She climbed into bed as I took my jumper off, leaving me in just a shirt and trousers. I hesitated, unsure as to whether I would be able to sleep in the clothes I was wearing but decided that it didn't matter. Wanda was more important.

I climbed in, knowing that my mother would be rolling in her grave at me being in bed with a woman I wasn't married to. She frowned at me. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing," I replied, trying to get rid of the odd feeling of wearing trousers in bed.

"Tell me," she said with a smile, nudging my arm a little as I got fully under the covers. It was odd, getting into bed with someone else, but I didn't want Wanda to sleep by herself. It wasn't fair to leave her alone like that.

"I just...don't know how comfortable this stuff will be to sleep in. I usually sleep in my boxers, but I can go to my room and gra-"

"James," she interrupted, placing a hand against my arm. I glanced up at her, stopping my stupid ramblings. "Take off your clothes if it makes you feel more comfortable."

She seemed a little tired, like she didn't care about how I slept. I didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable, but I wasn't going to argue. Being in boxers would allow me to sleep easier. I stood up and turned around, not wanting to face her as I changed.

I began to undo my belt buckle. I was relaxed with her seeing my arm, but I still wanted some privacy when changing out of my clothes. I lifted my shirt up and over my head, grateful that it was mostly dark in the room, only a small amount of light shining through the window. I knew she didn't care about the arm or see it as a threat for some reason. Perhaps it was because she knew that she could control me if anything went wrong.

I sat down and slipped under the duvet, finding Wanda curled up against the cushions in the middle of the bed. I couldn't help but reach up and grasp the few loose hairs that were resting against her cheek. Her eyes opened at the contact.

She stared at me as I delicately played the strands of hair behind her ear. I felt the urge to smile, but suppressed it. God, she was beautiful. I don't know exactly what made her so, but I had narrowed it down to either her eyes or her smile. I couldn't bring myself to look away as she watched me.

The way we were locked in each other's gaze felt trance-like. However, I immediately snapped out of it when she quickly moved towards me. I didn't realise what she was doing at first until my senses kicked in. My lips tingled slightly at the sensation of her soft lips pressed against mine, her fingertips sliding through my long hair.

I was frozen, completely shocked. _Should I kiss her back?_ That seemed like a good idea. It was also something my body felt compelled to do. I pushed back slightly and felt my fingers tremble next to her cheek. When she pressed a little firmer against me, I realised how nervous I felt. I hadn't felt nervous before, but I was slowly realising that _she_ made me feel that way. I wasn't thinking about what was going on, just lost in the moment. The angle was slightly awkward, but I didn't mind.

I tried to relax as I cupped her cheek. I hadn't kissed anyone in so long and it felt like I was experiencing it all over again. Our noses cosily fit beside each other and I shut my eyes, just embracing the sensation of her against my lips. It felt so comforting and every part of me wanted to feel more, explore more.

Before I had the chance to pull away to kiss her again, she pushed away from me. A small gasp escaping her lips and I tensed at the panic on her face. "I-I'm so sorry, I don't, I didn't mean for that to-"

"It's fine," I promised, trying to get a word in edgeway and reassure her that she didn't need to stress though she very clearly was stressing about it. I could tell her cheeks were going red, even in the darkness.

"I didn't mean it, it was just me..." She kept waving her hands around, trying to explain how she felt. "I...I wanted to say...thank you and it...that was how it came across." She was sitting up now as she tried to explain. I would've thought she would be fully awake after that, but I could see how her eyes were dropping. She put her hands together and brought them to her lap. "I just wanted to say thank you," she mumbled quietly.

My heart clenched, not in the good way it had been earlier, as I watched her feel embarrassed. All I wanted, needed, to do was make her feel better.

"It's fine." It was not fine. Having her fingertips run through my hair was absolute bliss, but that wasn't going to happen again. She didn't mean it. She said so herself. I couldn't let myself become emotionally attached to her, I couldn't do that to her. I almost rolled my own eyes then - it was too late to not become attached to her. Part of me knew that she meant something to me.

Wanda peeked up between the curtain of red hair that she had drawn over her face. "So...you're not mad?"

I huffed a laugh and shook my head, smiling at her softly. "Not at all. I knew what you meant by it." That was a complete lie. I had no idea what she was doing or what she meant by it. I didn't stop it though.

She paused for a moment, letting my reasoning sink into her head, before nodding. "I'm sorry," she apologised, grimacing and dipping her head. She was retreating to hide within the depths of her hair again, but I lifted her chin up quickly with my finger to stop her. I pulled my hand back straight away.

"Will you ever stop apologising, Maximoff?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood as I chuckled a little. I didn't want things to become awkward between us because of the kiss. We were friends and I was going to try my hardest to keep it that way. I didn't have a friend like her. We would be able to move past it.

She smiled back at me and shook her head. "Probably not, sorry," she replied with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and laid back down against the pillows of her bed.

She sighed and then laid down next to me, the back of her neck leaning against my arm. "Thank you for being so understanding."

I smiled up at her ceiling, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "No problem," I replied, stroking the side of her right arm as we lay there.

"Thanks for everything." I shut my eyes and tried to not overthink what she was saying.

"It's no trouble, I want to be here for you," I told her honestly. She had been doing so much for me lately that I felt bad not giving anything back. The training lessons didn't really count as anyone could train her, but what she was doing for me could only be done by her. She was one of a kind.

"Goodnight Barnes," she said quietly, taking a deep breath and letting it out. I didn't mind how I slept, even if Wanda was lying against my arm.

"Goodnight doll," I answered back, the nickname slipping from my lips once again.

Wanda must've been completed exhausted because she was asleep within a few minutes. But I was wide awake.

I tried to put the kiss to the back of my mind, but I hadn't felt that much intimacy in so long. I couldn't let myself overthink it. _She did it as a way of saying thank you. That's all._ Her emotions must've been all over the place anyway.

Did she enjoy it though? Was I good? It was the first kiss I had been a part of for a while, so I hoped it was good. I thought it was nice. Her lips were soft and firm, just like I had imagined they would be. I felt like I was being slowly drawn into a trap. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull her against me. In the moment, I wanted to kiss her again and find out what the skin of her neck felt like against my lips.

Now...I wasn't so sure. We had built up a trusting relationship and I didn't want to tear it all down over sexual tension. I rolled my eyes. _So much for not overthinking it, Barnes._

I put my free arm behind my head and thought about the memory Wanda had shown me, deciding to distract myself. I couldn't remember the last meal I had with my family all together it must've been before the war. One day, I would find that memory, hopefully with Wanda's help.

I tried to keep calm as Wanda wrapped her arm around my waist more and I pulled her close, not wanting her to feel cold or uncomfortable. Her touching me did trigger my anxiety initially, but I had gotten used to her touches that usually calmed me down more than anything. She had this ability to relax me. It was odd.

I heard her mumble something incomprehensible in her sleep, which made me smile. It was rather sweet that she slept talk. It was strange to hold her so close in a way that felt familiar, yet unfamiliar all the same. I had a faint memory of holding a woman when I was younger, but then that seemed so distant in my mind. My body and personality were different then - it was a different life, one that was dead to me, but still needed to be dug up.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, hoping that sleep would take over soon. it didn't until about four hours later.

 **The next morning**

When I woke up, I immediately sensed that Wanda wasn't beside me. I relaxed when my senses picked up her light feet padding against the living room floor.

I winced when the sun shone through the window and directly into my eyes. The door opened and I looked over at Wanda entering the room, wearing a different hoodie. It reached her mid-thighs, which made it difficult to tell if she was wearing shorts underneath or not. Her hair was tied up into a messy bun, a few whispers of hair falling against her cheeks. A part of me wanted to reach up and tuck it behind her ear again like I had the previous night. I knew where that had led us. My mouth suddenly felt very dry and I wished I had gotten a glass of water to take to bed with me. I glanced at my nightstand. I hadn't.

"Hey," I grumbled, my voice sounding deep and low from sleep. I cleared my throat and sat up, leaning against the bed rest.

"Hey," she replied with a smile, shutting the door behind her. I saw her eyes quickly glance down to my bare stomach and then back to my face. her mouth twitched a little, but I ignored it. In the back of my mind, I was wondering if she was checking me out. Perhaps it was a little further forward than the back of it...

"How long have you been up for?" I asked, sliding out of bed to grab the shirt from the floor.

She shrugged as she walked towards me. "Fifteen minutes? Not too long."

I nodded and reached up to slip the shirt over my head. I heard her gasp, which didn't help the fact that I was half naked and couldn't really see. I put on my trousers too, trying to fasten everything up as quickly as possible.

"I just..." She sighed and shook her head, her cheeks beginning to go red. "I want to say again that I'm sorry about last night."

This time, she could look me in the eye. We were both adults and we could deal with this respectfully and with maturity, not that there was any aspect of life that I didn't treat that way.

"Consider it forgotten," I replied with a smile. She nodded.

"Good," she sighed and I could physically see the tension leave her shoulders, though the blush remained on her cheeks. "Breakfast?" she asked and I nodded. She walked away in her sweet dress jumper and I watched her smooth legs get further and further away. Suddenly I was hit with it - attraction.

The conversation Wanda and I had all that time ago about feeling attracted to someone was coming into play. The spark of arousal, the reawakening of the senses. It must've been the kiss. I wanted to touch her and please her. I wanted to chase after her beautiful legs that walked away. I want her to be mine. It was like a primal urge had washed over my body.

I wanted to kiss her neck and wrap my hands around her naked waist. A shock of electricity went through my body at the thought of her naked, the idea of me trailing kisses down her body all the way to where she needed it the most. I had never had those kinds of thoughts about people, not that I was aware of. I wanted to pleasure her and make her feel ecstatic. I groaned and shook my head as I tried to clear my thoughts.

"Shit," I cursed and reshuffled my groin before entering the living room.

 **Yeaaaaa, so please don't be annoyed at me for this chapter. I feel like a lot of people feel this way when they've spent that much time with someone, so don't hate me or say I'm trying to make it all sexual because that's not just what this ship is aboutttttt 3 Please hang on in there.**

 **What did you think of the kiss? I like to think it was very down to Earth, I'm pretty sure lots of people can relate to kissing someone without thinking about it! Was my description okay? If you have any feedback, positive or negative, I would love to hear it. Thank you guys so much!**

 **Abstract0118**

 **xx**


	23. Chapter 23

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 **Wanda POV**

"Did you have any nightmares last night?" I asked, cracking an egg in each poaching pod. I remembered when Tony first introduced me to a poaching pan. I was so excited. For the following two weeks, I made poached eggs for breakfast every morning.

He frowned. "No, I didn't even realise."

When I woke up this morning, he looked so sweet. His eyes were peacefully shut and he was breathing evenly, relaxing me. I slid away from him and heard him groan and turn to hug the pillow. I had to put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from giggling at how cute it was.

He rubbed his face into the pillow and the need to laugh stopped when my eyes went to his bare stomach. His skin looked so soft. God, those abs. I had seen Steve's abs before but they were nothing compared to James'. I took in a shaky breath as I felt myself get wet.

"Fuck," I whispered, slowly moving away from the bed and into the bathroom to pee. I really needed a night by myself, or even an hour, to relieve myself of the sexual tension that was refusing to leave me alone.

"Wanda?" I turned my head to him, quickly realising that I had been daydreaming about this morning.

"Sorry," I apologised, checking on the eggs. Thankfully, they weren't done yet. "Did you say something?"

I put the bread in the toaster and went to the fridge to get the butter out. "No, you were just staring into space."

I nodded and tried to calm down the blush on my cheeks. "Have...have you heard from Wakanda?" I asked to change the subject and get him to talk. My mind was a bit frazzled.

"I occasionally text Shuri." I felt my face freeze for a moment.

"Who's Shuri?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. I hated the jealousy I felt. I didn't even really understand why. Were they close? Did they share the same relationship that James and I did? Surely not...?

"T'Challa's sister," he answered as I turned off the hob. "Hopefully, I can head back there when the time is right."

The toast popped out and I almost jumped at it. I took the pieces and buttered them, glancing at him sideways. "Well, why don't we ask Steve?"

James cast an uncertain look my way. "I'm sure he won't object to you staying a few days out there," I reasoned, putting the eggs onto the toast. I watched as they wobbled slightly and smiled, bringing them over to the table.

"It might be nice to-"

James was interrupted by three firm knocks of the door. I frowned, not expecting anyone to come and see me, but went to answer the door nonetheless.

It was Hill. She was dressed in a black pantsuit and held a clipboard in her hand. Typical. We were just about to sit down for breakfast and suddenly it's all business again. I just wanted a days rest. I was tempted to sneak into James' suitcase and go to Wakanda with him.

"I'm looking for Barnes have you-" She stopped when her eyes darted behind me. "Oh. Didn't expect to find you here." I didn't like her tone, not at all. She sounded a little disgusted that he was in the kitchen.

I turned around to see Barnes frozen with egg and toast in his mouth. His cheeks were stuffed with the food. It was a sweet image, almost like he was a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He shrugged as he swallowed the food. "She does good poached eggs," he said as an excuse.

I felt slightly offended he didn't want to admit he was with me overnight. But then I remembered that if Hill knew about our...closeness, she would not be pleased. I don't know what would happen actually. Vision and Wanda seemed to be getting quite close. I knew relationships weren't allowed, but I wanted to tell someone what I was feeling and about the kiss. Maybe Clint would understand. I knew he wouldn't tell Hill.

"Your interview is tomorrow," she spoke from the doorway. James stayed still but I could see his hand slowly clench into a fist. "Only ten to fifteen interviewers have been invited. They'll be briefed before entering but currently, the public doesn't know about the interviews."

This interview was serious, way more serious than mine was. It made sense seeing that James had only stopped being public enemy number one a few days ago. "Wear something smart, maybe a suit. Pepper can order you one if you don't want to use the veil to purchase one yourself." That wasn't a bad plan. That would mean I could go shopping too if we went together. I wanted some more shoes.

"Barnes, Maximoff," she said bidding farewell with the nod of her head. Standing in the doorway, I watched as she strutted away, ponytail flicking side to side. I shut the door and turned to James who was waiting patiently for me to sit down.

"There go our plans for Wakanda," he sighed, cutting up some of the toast to dip in the yolk. I tried not to make 'our plans' as a hint he wanted me to come with him.

I tilted my head. "Not necessarily," I argued, making a start on eating my eggs. "After the interview tomorrow, you'll need to spend a few days hidden away. Might as well spend them somewhere you like."

James raised his eyebrows. "Do you think we'd be allowed?"

I shrugged. "I don't see why not." James' broad grin was beautiful. He had such happiness in his eyes and little dimples that made his cheeky face look so sweet. "Did you get the chance to visit Wakanda?" he asked.

"No, I haven't yet," As I chewed, he bowed his head. He looked nervous as he slowly cut his food. I waited in silence and wait patiently for him to talk. I had a secret feeling of what he was going to ask, but I didn't want to push. He stopped slicing his food and placed his hands on the table.

"Did you..." He raised an eyebrow and looked up at me with an almost innocent expression. "Did you want to...come to Wakanda with me?"

His cheeks slowly flushed red and he nervously caught his bottom lip between his teeth. What a sight. I stopped myself from smiling as he fumbled over his words. "I mean, you d-don't have to come. I didn't-"

"James!" I half-shouted, reaching across the table. I held his twitching hands, finding it rather sweet that he was worried. I smiled at him, gazing straight into his eyes. "I would love to come with you."

His frown slowly disappeared. My eyes looked down to his soft pink lips that crept into a smile. I felt the urge to grab his shirt and pull him across to table to kiss me. I forced myself to pull away and let go of his hands. God, what was happening to me. This crush was getting out of control. Part of me desperately wanted him to yank my hands forward so I could climb into his lap and ravish him, eggs be dammed. But he didn't.

Instead, he delicately let my hands return to my cutlery and continue eating my breakfast. I didn't let my mind wander, not like before. I couldn't do that. "So, I'll ask Steve?" I asked Steve and he nodded as we continued to eat, hoping that James and I could get the chance to go away together. Wakanda sounded amazing and I couldn't wait to see what it was like there, but I had to admit to myself that I wanted to discover who Shuri was. I bit down my jealousy and swallowed the mouthful of my eggs.

I insisted James didn't need to wash up but he argued that I'd cooked breakfast so it was only fair he cleaned the dishes. I sat on a stool and pressed the button on the side of the table to bring up the interactive screen. I clicked the internet icon and typed in my name. Browsing through the thousands of news article headlines, I noticed that most of them were positive.

 ** _BBC - Wanda Maximoff - hero of the hour_**

 ** _Fox News - Stunning Scarlett Witch_**

 _ **CNN - Wanda shares all in intimate interview**_

 _ **The Guardian - Young boy inspired by Maximoff's bravery**_

I smiled after reading a few before sliding them all to the side. I switched the monitor off and watched James finish the washing up. "After yesterday, I feel like letting off some steam," I told him as he placed the last plate in the drying rack. He cleaned his hands and crossed them over his chest, leaning his hip against the side. "Meet me in the training room in half an hour? I really need a shower before we spar."

"Yes, ma'am," he smirked, adding a southern drawl to his accent. I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't stop blushing. The way he said 'ma'am' really got me going. He grabbed his phone and made his way to the door. I rushed forward to open it for him and he smiled at me in amusement as I did.

"Thank you for breakfast," he said as I opened the door for him. "I may have lied to Agent Hill about how I ended up here this morning, but those eggs really were delicious."

I blushed again at the compliment and smiled at him. Would he ever stop making me go red in the face? I tried not to think of the double meaning behind that question. "No problem," I replied quietly, tucking my hair behind my ear. He disappeared down the hall to his room and I slipped behind my door, pushing it shut behind me.

I didn't know what had come over me, but I felt incredibly happy waking up. Perhaps I knew that yesterday was dedicated to feeling gloomy, which allowed me to be happy today. Maybe I just had a surge of energy this morning. Or maybe waking up next to James was something that made me joyous.

I waltzed into the bedroom to straighten my duvet cover. I knew there were cleaners who tidied our rooms, but I had told Stark multiple times that I could clean up after myself. After straightening the bed, I went into the bathroom and took off my clothes.

As I showered, my mind went to James' arm. Could he take showers with it still attached? It must've been waterproof. Otherwise, it would definitely be a design fault.

Once I had cleaned myself, I stepped out and reached for a towel, but stopped when my eyes were drawn to the mirror. Usually, I hated looking in the mirror, but working out with the team had changed my body.

My thighs looked stronger and thicker. I turned sideways and drew my fingertips over my bum. Definitely perkier. I stroked my stomach and lightly poked the muscles that were beginning to form. I smiled. The last time I looked in the mirror I felt skeletal. This time, I felt strong. Sexy.

My eyes went to my breadth and I cupped a hand over each one. Had they grown? I wouldn't be surprised if they had. I was eating much more than a year ago, apart from yesterday. My diet was bigger and much healthier. One of my hands slipped to my hip and I cocked my hip to the side. I felt in control stood in the pose and felt myself loving the body I had worked hard to achieve, not that I was anywhere near done.

Smirking at myself in the mirror, I brought my arms up against my chest to just cover my nipples. I imagined myself posing on the cover of a magazine with a caption about self-confidence.

I shook my head and muttered, "what the fuck am I doing?" I laughed to myself as I grabbed a towel off the rail and went to get dressed. I smiled as I dried myself. It was nice to feel more attractive in my body.

My hair was still wet ten minutes before I needed to be in the training room, so I tossed it up into a bun and hoped for the best. I couldn't be bothered to get a hairdryer out to fix it. I slipped on a sports bra and thong - I found them surprisingly the most comfortable type of underwear to work out in. "JARVIS, see if anyone else is free for some sparring."

"Of course, Wanda," I smiled, realising the A.I had finally given in and started calling me Wanda after my incessant stream of requests to not be called 'Maximoff'. I had a good feeling about today.

I put on a pair of leggings and picked up a tight-fit shit to put over me in case I got cold, not that it was likely. Feeling a new found confidence in my body, I walked out of the bedroom with my phone in one hand and water bottle in the other, just wearing the leggings and sports bra. Who needed tops anyway. They were overrated. Natasha strutted around in a sports bra all the time - why couldn't I do so as well?

I arrived at the training room to see James, Clint, Natasha, Steve and Sam standing together. They were all laughing at something Clint had said. "Sorry, I'm late. Is this everyone?" I asked, jogging up to them.

I didn't fail to notice James watching me as I joined them. "I think so. Rhodey is training recruits and Hill is working as always," Sam explained, stretching out his arms.

"So who wants to go first?" Clint asked, taking a few steps towards the ring.

"Me," I answered, courage striking through me. I walked boldly toward him as he raised an eyebrow.

"You sure you're up for it?" he asked teasingly, though I could see the genuine concern in his eyes. I knew he was worried about how I was feeling after yesterday, but there was no need to be concerned.

I winked at him. "Come on, dad. Not getting old, are you?" I teased, using my powers to push myself up and over the ropes to land in the centre of the ring. I heard a Sam and Natasha go 'oooo' from my reply as Clint glared me at.

"You wanna play it like that?" Clint asked. "Huh?" He pushed himself between the rings and stood opposite me. We both circled each other on either side of the square.

"Okay, rules!" Nat shouted, coming up to the side of the ring and slinging her arms over. James, Adam, Nat and Steve leaning over each side of the small arena. "Do whatever the fuck you want. Be dirty like you sometimes would be in a fight, but Wanda, you can only use yours three times. Don't overuse your powers otherwise, they will be restricted. Powerful combat, one on one, for a minute before we switch."

I nodded and turned to face Clint again. He smirked and I held up my fists. "Fight!" Steve commanded.

Clint immediately shot forward with attacks, hitting a punch to my shoulder. I slid between his legs and pushed a kick to his back. From the force of my hit, he did a forward roll to stand again.

"Come on, Wanda!" Sam shouted from the sideline. Clint charged at me and I used my powers to jump over him. As he turned around, I sprinted towards him at top speed and set my sights high. I was going to use the move James taught me. Or at least try.

I jumped, using my left foot as a spring, and wrapped my legs around his head. I managed to gain enough momentum to knock him off balance. He toppled to the floor with my feet landing on either side of his upper body.

"Yes, Maximoff!" I heard James shout which made me grin. As soon as I landed, Clint pushed his feet up and into my back. I stumbled forward and landed on my front. _Nice_.

I tried to get up, but he tackled me to the ground. "Asshole," I muttered and used my powers to push him off of me.

He hit the ring edge and bounced off of it, heading towards me again. We exchanged kicks and hits until Steve said it was time to switch. Clint was beating me most of the time we fought, but I tried not to feel bad about it. I was proud of myself for completing the thigh neck twist move.

I slipped through the boxing ring ropes and stood beside James. "Hey," James said softly from beside me as Natasha and Steve prepared to fight. "That was really good, doll."

I blushed again and faced the ring. "Thanks," I whispered back, gripping the ropes a little tighter. His voice was so deep and soothing to listen to. Screw fighting everyone else, I wanted to tackle him to the ground to see what he would do.

Steve and Natasha were evenly matched. I would say the same for Sam and James, but that simply wasn't true. The pair of them didn't gel and there was no way James would play nice with him. Sam was a talented Avenger, but no match for James. Ever since the airport battle over the accords, they hadn't gotten along, even though they were on the same side. Perhaps they both secretly wanted Steve and I wasn't aware.

I then realised that James had never told me if he and Steve were ever more than just friends. James had mentioned that he was bi in the past but whether he had explored that sexually was an unanswered question. 'And none of your business, Wanda,' I said in my head. The boys finished their fight with Sam on the floor, sprawled out in an awkward position.

I rolled my eyes at the cocky smirk James wore as he jogged to me. "Do you really hate him?"

He shrugged. "Who knows?"

I shook my head and smiled to myself. "Wanda and Barnes, you're up," Nat shouted, settling next to Clint at the ropes. Steve and Sam were standing together again.

James nodded and stepped backwards, allowing me to join him in the ring. I slipped through the ropes, watching as he walked to the far side.

He was feeling pumped from his win fighting Sam, but I wasn't going to let him carry on that way. I wanted to prove myself, felt the need to, especially in front of some of the main Avengers. We circled each other for a few moments as Steve spoke. "Wanda, you have 7 power usages over the time duration seeing as Buck has super strength."

I smirked as James came to a stop and got into a fighting stance. I brought my hands up to my face and patiently waited for someone to tell us to begin. The first time James and I sparred, he was terrified of hurting me. Now, he knew I could stop him if things went too far. He trusted me and that made me happy. But that also meant he didn't hold back as much. He still restrained his abilities a bit though. I was going to weed that out of him one day.

"Fight!" Clint shouted and I could see his amused little face out of the corner of my eye.

I ran forward, acting as if I were sprinting up to him, but suddenly dropped to the floor. As he was momentarily confused, I used my arms to push myself up and jam a powerful kick into his chest, sending him stumbling backwards.

I heard Clint whoop once or twice and Sam laughed, causing James to scowl at him. We came towards each other again and he threw the first punch. The good thing about being small is that I was quicker than James.

I narrowly dodged his fist and grabbed the exposed wrist. I spun into him and elbowed his jaw, not feeling bad about it. He would heal soon enough. He grabbed my arms and my back against his front. I tried to pull my arms away but struggled. James was much stronger than I was.

I smirked, remembering Natasha's rules. I jammed my butt into his groin, hearing a slight groan escape his lips. Hopefully, I hadn't hit him too hard. I escaped his hand hold and smirked at his slightly uncomfortable expression.

I shrugged. "Natasha said we could play dirty." I didn't mean it to sound as seductive as it did, but the confidence I found this morning must've been having a key role in it. I was forgetting about everything else and just focusing on us. I wanted to beat him.

I brought my knee up and smashed it into his kidney. Kicking the back of his leg making him buckle, I swung my body around his and pushed him down. Immediately, I sprung onto him and pinned him down, each other my legs over his back. He pushed up, forcing me off of him. I wasn't going to stop there.

He kicked the side of my stomach and I fell to the floor, feeling a small shot of pain go through my hip. James practically pounced on me, pinning my arms to my sides. He put his knee to the bottom of my stomach to keep me in place. I pushed against his hold and tried to ignore the firey look in his eyes. This was not a time to get turned on.

I felt my lips smirk a little. "Not my style," I muttered and surprised him as I pushed my hips up, wrapping my legs around him. I yelled, using all the force I could to roll us over. I pinned him to the floor with my hands clasped around his wrists. His eyebrows were raised in shock as I kept him there, despite his efforts. I knew I must've looked awful with the angry, determined expression on my face - gritted teeth and red cheeks - but I was beating James and I was planning on letting him leave until Natasha shouted-

"Time!" she called, ending our fight. I smiled and watched James look up at me from below. I hadn't seen him with that expression before. Admiration? Shock? It was very odd. I struggled to understand what he was feeling.

"That was incredible!" Clint's shout brought me back to reality and I quickly climbed off of James. I offered him a hand up, which he accepted. Clapping sounded from around the ring.

"Well played, Maximoff," he said, bowing his head to me as he shook my hand. 'That was insane, doll. I've never seen you fight so well,' he told me through his thoughts. His thumb ran over the skin on my hand. I was glad my cheeks were already red to stop the blush coming through.

"Thank you," I replied, squeezing his hand back before heading over to see Clint. He gathered me up into a hug like a proud father and it almost made me well up. The huge grin on my face from matching with James was beginning to hurt and I didn't want to be arrogant about winning against him.

"Here, take this," Nat said, giving me a water bottle to drink from. I sighed and nodded, stepping out of the ring to take a swig. I then realised something - James wasn't even puffed out. He didn't look red or exhausted or in need of a drink like I did. James could fight like I did for fifteen minutes straight whereas I wouldn't have been able to keep that up for more than two minutes without needing to ask the enemy for a timeout.

"Where have I heard that phrase before, huh?" Natasha asked me as Clint stepped into the ring, planning to fight Steve.

"What phrase?" I asked, frowning at the redhead. I genuinely had no idea what she was talking about.

"'Not my style'. Sounds...familiar." I suddenly remembered that I had said it during the fight. I then remembered where it came from. 'Not my style' was what Natasha had said in the memory when she was pinning James down before having sex with him. My cheeks felt hotter, not realising that the words had just slipped out.

"Do you think he noticed?" I shout-whispered, watching him across the ring typing something on his phone.

"Well, he can hear everything we're saying right now, so I don't think it matters whether he did or not." James looked up at us and rolled his eyes at Natasha as if to say 'you ruin all my fun'. I rubbed a hand over my face and sighed. His eyes fell on me for a moment. He almost looked shy before focusing back on the fight.

"If he can hear us," I said, angling my head to talk to Nat whilst I kept my eyes on James. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and angled his ear towards me, so I knew he was listening. "He should know that I didn't realise that I said those words and that I'm sorry."

James gave me a quick glance and subtly shrugged with a smile. His eyes moved back to the fight again. I decided to do the same. I needed a distraction.

The feelings I had for James had developed so quickly. I didn't even really know what I wanted. What I wanted and needed were two different things - my head was a bit fuzzy on the whole issue. It wouldn't work if he like me. We were Avengers and relationships like that were risks in the field, whether they be friends with benefits or romantic attachments.

I focused on Clint and Steve sparring, hoping that I would get over this silly crush sooner rather than later. He was my friend...and that's all he ever could be.

 **2 hours later**

We were eating in the canteen when it happened. Everyone started gathering, peering at their phones. The chatter in the room got louder and louder.

"What is going on?" Sam asked, watching as Natasha pulled out her phone to see what the fuss was about.

We all leaned forward, waiting for her to speak up. She rolled her eyes and showed us the phone. "They didn't fucking tell us first?"

The photo was of a man was on one knee, proposing to a woman, with a smile on his face. The photograph showed him slipping a ring onto her finger. We immediately stood up and left the room, leaving our nearly empty plates behind.

A few minutes later, we burst into the Avengers living room to see Tony, Pepper and Rhodey were gathered in a group. "Is it true?" Clint asked as we jogged towards them.

The trio spun around, looking like a sweet family somehow. Pepper lifted up her hand and wiggled her fingers, showing off the small, delicate diamond ring resting on her wedding finger. "You sons of bitches. Neither of you told me?" Natasha asked, but I could see the humour behind her glare.

"It was a spur of the moment thing, Red," Tony replied with a shrug. Something told me he was lying. We all exchanged hugs and congratulated the happy couple. As I tightly hugged Pepper, I realised that I'd never known anyone to be engaged. It was exciting that two of us would be getting married.

James, to my surprise, shook hands with Tony. He didn't say anything to him, only smiled, but I could see how Tony appreciates the sentiment. James was becoming more and more sentimental recently. It was a side of him that I liked to think I helped open.

"It's obvious who's going to be the best man," Pepper said, nodding her head to Rhodey. "But..." She turned her head to Natasha and smiled. "Nat?"

Nat looked at her with a troubled expression. "What?" she asked, frowning at the woman. Pepper raised an eyebrow, surprised that the assassin hadn't caught on.

"Uh...will you be my maid of honour?" she asked kindly, going over to hold the woman's hands.

Natasha's jaw practically dropped and I'd never seen her look so surprised. She looked to Clint who smiled before turning back to Pepper.

"Are you sure? I don't think I'm a wedding person," she replied, sounding a little worried.

"Well, you'll just have to be," Pepper argued, smirking at her. It took Natasha a moment before a grin broke on her face. The girls hugged and I couldn't help but feel my heart warm at the sight.

When they broke apart, Pepper turned to me and pointed her finger. "Don't think you're getting out of being a bridesmaid."

I couldn't help but grin. "I've never been to a wedding before, but I'll help as much as I can."

"You've never been to a wedding?" Tony asked incredulously. I shrugged and shook my head. 'If it helps, neither have I' James said telepathically. I smiled subconsciously as I listened to Tony. "Well, I can tell you from experience that the best weddings start with an engagement party! I'm thinking 9 o'clock tonight? Invite the whole tower? Photographers?"

"No photographers," Pepper told him. Tony looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Why not?"

Pepper just gave him a stern look. If I was him, I would do whatever she wanted. And he did. "Alright," he put his hands up. "No photographers. I'll get Hill to sort out everything out. Smart-casual?" he asked Pepper as she started walking away. I felt my phone buzz and took it out.

 _UNKNOWN_

"Excuse me," I quickly muttered before running off to my room. I was glad to be escaping the drama escalating in the living room. I hurriedly shut the door and picked the phone up, hoping it was her.

"Hello?" I answered, packing into my room.

"Encrypt your phone," the voice ordered. I immediately knew who was contacting me. I slid my fingers across the screen and heard a small click. I put the phone back up to my ear.

"Done." I dragged my desk chair to the window to sit in. I liked to look at the grassy compound while I spoke to people.

"Hey, it's Daisy. Sorry I took so long getting back to you." I smiled, curling up in the chair as I watched the trainees run around the grounds.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you called," I replied with relief. If she couldn't help me, I don't know who would. I'm glad I remembered her name. Natasha mentioned a hacker named 'Daisy Johnson' months back when talking about S.H.I.E.L.D. One word to Natasha and she gave me a number to contact her.

"First of all, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Personally, I find the abuse he inflicted on you disgusting." I didn't really know what to say to that. Sensing from the silence that I was uncomfortable, she moved on. "I think I can do what you're asking."

"You can? That's amazing." Relief flooded me. I had been pondering for a while over whether this was going to be possible. Hacking into Ross' private systems wasn't going to be easy, but from what Natasha told me, Daisy was my best shot.

"I always had a bad feeling about Ross. If I find any dirt, we'll expose him." The venom was clear in her voice - I knew I could trust her.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," I sighed, gazing at the tree line.

"I have to go but I'll contact you soon," she replied. I heard noises in the background of the call, but I couldn't quite make out what was going on. Some kind of alarm?

"Thank you, Daisy," I answered, but she'd hung up before I finished speaking. Oh. I'm sure she hadn't meant to be rude. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and returned the chair to the desk.

A few moments later, I walked back into the training room and found everyone talking a few minutes to breathe. Steve was standing by himself, scrolling through his phone. I didn't want to interrupt him, but it was important.

"Hey Steve," I greeted with a smile and a small wave. Steve looked up and smiled sweetly at me, like always.

"Wanda," he replied. I could see why the world was moving to be interested in Captain America over Iron Man. Tony wasn't single, very clearly after today's announcement of his engagement, but Steve's romantic status wasn't known. I could only imagine what all the school girls dreamt of. They probably were interested in the mysterious Spider-Man though. He was their age.

"Are you alright?" I snapped out of my daze, realising I must've been staring at him for quite a while.

"Sorry, lost in thought," I sheepishly answered, feeling heat rise on my cheeks. "I came to ask a question about James."

"Is he alright? Has something happened? Did he hurt you too hard in training?" Steve was panicked and anxious at the thought of James which was his problem really. He needed to let go. James wasn't his pet, but his friend.

"Nothing has happened, Steve." I felt and saw him relax as his shoulders lowered slightly. "We were having a discussion earlier today and wondered if it might be possible for James to stay in Wakanda for a few days?"

I didn't hold back. Natasha always taught me the key to be confident - say what you want to say and don't hold back. People won't believe you or accept you if you pause.

I could see the sceptical look on his face. He wasn't convinced. "I don't know Wanda. With the interview coming up and-"

"But that's why it's the perfect opportunity." I didn't know how I felt about interrupting Steve, considering he was our Captain, but he was a friend too. "After the interview, he can go to Wakanda for a day or two to not only visit King T'Challa but to relax and keep a low profile. If he stays here, he'll be uncomfortable and irritated. Don't you think keeping him away for two days is safe and wise, yes?"

I inwardly cheered at my ability to put forward my argument. Natasha would be proud. In fact, she was. I could see her, with James and Clint, smiling as she stood by the ring. James had a small smile on his face too. Clint was confused as he glanced between me and Nat.

"I suppose..." Steve began. He looked at the floor and sighed. "It's not the worse idea." I had to contain my grin. James getting the chance to go to Wakanda again would be great for him. He needed to get out of this place.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you'd be going too?" I glanced over at James who nodded and Natasha smiled from behind him. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at her and looked back at Steve.

"I think it might be wise. He shouldn't be by himself and he..trusts me." I hope that last part didn't hurt Steve. They were only just starting to patch up their relationship.

Steve nodded, understanding my reasoning. "This might be a good opportunity for you too actually," he replied, looking away in thought. "I think it might be interesting for you to see how the Wakandans train. We picked up a thing or two from our last visit," he replied. "Would it be alright if I asked T'Challa to include you in some of the training sessions?"

I nodded and smiled. Wow. We were actually going to leave for Wakanda tomorrow night. I would learn about their culture and see where James had spent the past few months. Everyone had been talking about how wonderful it was, which made me jealous, but now I was actually going to visit. The best thing about it though...was that James would be with me.

 **I know. I haven't updated in a month and a bit. I was going to write over Christmas but stuff happened. My dad ended up being in A &E on Christmas Day, then my gran was in there on Boxing Day. Dad's fine and my grandmother is alright, but things have just been so stressful lately. This has been a huge relief to write.**

 **I don't have loads of time to write these chapters, but do you know what? I love it. I love writing fanfiction. It's like a little website that my mind an escape to and express the creative side. I know I'm doing a film degree, but here is where I can try out my passion for writing and get immediate feedback. I love it.**

 **Please leave a review. 3 They honestly brighten up my day so much! Thank you to all the people that do.**

 **HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES!**

 **Abstract0118**

 **xx**

 **P.S. Thank you for the 142 people that follow me and the 20,805 views I've had since this started. It's been over two years, I know it's a struggle, but I love you guys and I want to create the best story possible for you.**


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